I Try So Hard...

Yeah, if you can't tell, I've been having friend troubles lately. I'm really worried for my best friend, Katie, because in my opinion she's been making a lot of dangerous choices. I don't want/need anyone to say I'm being selfish, nor am I posting this for a teen/angst/sob story. I just need to vent, okay? So bear with me. Lately, Katie's been hanging with the gothics more(no offense for stereo-typing anyone). Which is fine. I didn't really care. Until she started becoming one. She's always wearing chains and stuff, eyeliner, and she's become rather...I can't explain it. Assuming of me, I guess. Because lately, she's decided that she feels more attraction to females than males. Which is also fine. I have no problems with gay people, bi's, or lesbians. I'm cool with that, so long as there's no fondling /flirting involved with me. For example of this hostility, we were in class on Wednesday. It was a half day, so yes, I went to school with eyeshadow on my face to look like Sesshoumaru. Purple stripes, moon, the works. And Katie asks if she can use my eyeshadow for a minute. I told her no because I'm very touchy about sharing the makeup that I rarely wear. Ever since fifth grade and our school's head lice epidemic, nu-uh, not sharing hygenics. She keeps begging me and I ask her why. She says "Well gee, maybe I wanna look nice for once. Ever think of that?" And I just tease her and say "Is it for a guy you like?" And she just glares at me and says "Why do you always assume the worst of me, Alison?" I tell ya, there's a lot worse things I could assume about her than that.
So anyways, I sympathized with her for almost half a frickin' year already, and she's rejected it. And just tonight, we got so pissed at each other that she said 'frack you' and I responded 'You wish you could' and signed out. People who know me well, this is very unlike me to do. So I just HAPPENED to have found this song after our tizzy if you will, and it seemed to almost be fate. I don't usually believe in fate, but whatever. For those who can't read it well, it says:

I'm too tired to listen
I'm too old to believe
All these childish stories
There is no such thing as faith
And trust and pixie dust

I try
But it's so hard to believe
I try
But I can't see what you see
I try, I try, I try...

My whole world is changing
I don't know where to turn
I can't leave you waiting
I try and try to understand
The distance in between
The love I feel and the things I fear
And every single dream

Yes, I skipped a few lyrics. Sue me. I dare ya.