Mike's Incident

The most important thing we've learned,<br />
So far as children are concerned,<br />
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let<br />
Them near your television set–<br />
Or better still, just don't install<br />
The idiotic thing at all.<br />
In almost every house we've been,<br />
We've watched them gaping at the screen.<br />
They loll and slop and lounge about,<br />
And stare until their eyes pop out.<br />
(Last week in someone's place we saw<br />
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)<br />
They sit and stare and stare and sit<br />
Until they're hypnotised by it,<br />
Until they're absolutely drunk<br />
With all the shocking ghastly junk.<br />
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,<br />
They don't climb out the window sill,<br />
They never fight or kick or punch,<br />
They leave you free to cook the lunch<br />
And wash the dishes in the sink–<br />
But did you ever stop to think,<br />
To wonder just exactly what<br />
This does to your beloved tot?<br />
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!<br />
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!<br />
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!<br />
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND<br />
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND<br />
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!<br />
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!<br />
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!<br />
HE CANNOT THINK–HE ONLY SEES!<br />
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,<br />
'But if we take the set away,<br />
What shall we do to entertain<br />
Our darling children? Please explain!'<br />
We'll answer this by asking you,<br />
'What used the darling ones to do?<br />
'How used they keep themselves contented<br />
Before this monster was invented?'<br />
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?<br />
We'll say it very loud and slow:<br />
THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,<br />
AND READ and READ, and then proceed<br />
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!<br />
One half their lives was reading books!<br />
The nursery shelves held books galore!<br />
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!<br />
And in the bedroom, by the bed,<br />
More books were waiting to be read!<br />
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic takes<br />
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales<br />
And treasure isles, and distant shores<br />
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,<br />
And pirates wearing purple pants,<br />
And sailing ships and elephants,<br />
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,<br />
Stirring away at something hot.<br />
(It smells so good, what can it be?<br />
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)<br />
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter<br />
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,<br />
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,<br />
And Mrs. Tiggy–Winkle and–<br />
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,<br />
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,<br />
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,<br />
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole–<br />
Oh, books, what books they used to know,<br />
Those children living long ago!<br />
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,<br />
Go throw your TV set away,<br />
And in its place you can install<br />
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.<br />
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,<br />
Ignoring all the dirty looks,<br />
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,<br />
And children hitting you with sticks–<br />
Fear not, because we promise you<br />
That, in about a week or two<br />
Of having nothing else to do,<br />
They'll now begin to feel the need<br />
Of having something good to read.<br />
And once they start–oh boy, oh boy!<br />
You watch the slowly growing joy<br />
That fills their hears. They'll grow so keen<br />
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen<br />
In that ridiculous machine,<br />
That nauseating, foul, unclean,<br />
Repulsive television screen!<br />
And later, each and every kid<br />
Will love you more for what you did.<br />
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,<br />
We very much regret that we<br />
Shall simply have to wait and see<br />
If we can get him back his height.<br />
But if we can't–it serves him right.<br />
<br />
Finally, Tammy TeaVee gets her close up... with a rather funny expression. I went for a shocked face... it sort of worked.<br />
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PLEASE COMMENT!