Post-Halloween Monster

The Post-Halloween monster is a creature that comes out every year after Halloween to eat up all the nasty candy that cheapos give to trick-or-treaters. That candy mostly includes suckers, stale or DubbleBubble gum, those nasty chocolate body parts (especially fingers, why would someone eat those?), and black jelly beans. He doesn’t enjoy it one bit, and every year after gorging himself on this nasty candy, he spends the rest of the year complaining about it. Come next Halloween, he’s hungry again and repeats the whole process.

It’s said that the Post-Halloween monster could have once been a man who went through a Gollemesque transformation, leaving nothing of his past human life but a pair of bushy eyebrows. Some people also say he is a distant cousin of the infamous Flying Purple People Eater that just didn’t develop any flying ability or a taste for humans. Or maybe he’s just a nasty little creature. Nobody knows.

One thing anyone can be sure of is that the Post-Halloween monster isn’t particularly bright. He makes up for this by being sneaky though. Don’t you always think you threw away that nasty candy, or maybe you actually did eat it, and that’s why you got that stomach ache (can’t blame it on good candy, anyways)? Well, you didn’t. He ate it, and he enjoyed it even less than you would have. Don’t keep any eye out for him, he’s not the sort of creature you want to see in real life.

After eating all the nasty candies, the Post-Halloween monster returns to some abandoned troll cave in Norway to sulk until next year. It’s quite the dull life.

Happy Halloween!


I think being a couople days late is alright, especially considering I was gone all of actual Halloween day and this guy comes after anyways. :P