A Reluctant Sandwich

Okay, I wrote a short story after drawing this, and the picture would make a lot more sense if you read the story that goes along with it! It is quite funny, and it gives me a chance to introduce all of you to my Naruto OC, Kaliana.

SPOILER WARNING: For those of you who are not up-to-date with the series, there is a spoiler. Just so you know.
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A Reluctant Sandwich[/u][/i] by MW Roach


Kabuto and Sasuke sat rigid and alert in a tall manzanita tree, watching the forest floor intently; waiting. Sasuke shifted in his seat, his usual scornful expression worn on his pale face.

“Run this plan by me again.” He demanded. “How are we supposed to capture Kaliana?”

Kabuto sighed and sat up, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “It’s quite simple if you would just pay attention. Kaliana will be coming up that trail any minute now, so you’d better get it right. The Paralysis Jutsu must be done correctly by the BOTH of us if it is to work. After performing the handseals…”

“I know those already.” Sasuke interrupted. “Just tell me again how the Jutsu works, and hurry.”

Kabuto growled a little in his throat. He hated working with Sasuke, yet Orochimaru somehow found it befitting to have the two of them take Kaliana down together.

“The Paralysis Jutsu forces the opposing ninja’s chakra to cease flowing, causing their body to become stiff and unable to move. It’s going to take the both of us to perform it because of Kaliana’s unusually massive chakra flow. Even with the two of us performing the jutsu…doubling its power, in essence…we still don’t know how long Kaliana can be held captive under it. We can only hope we’re 5 miles from that sword of hers, or it will be able to break the Jutsu by forcing even more chakra into her. Theoretically, she could explode like an Atomic bomb if that happens, so we must move quickly once she’s been paralyzed. Understand now, Sasuke?” Kabuto finished in a condescending tone.

Sasuke merely grunted in response. He didn’t care how the jutsu worked, really. He despised having to work with Kabuto on this particular mission. Working with him on any other mission would have been acceptable, but Sasuke knew how Kabuto felt about Kaliana. The both of them had longed for her privately, yet Kabuto was the only one brave enough to speak of it constantly. Sasuke secretly pined for her, yet despite his constant denial, everyone knew how he felt about her. He cringed at the thought of Orochimaru poking and prodding her; trying to unravel the secret of her Black and White chakra. The White Chakra, which can heal any wound and the Black Chakra, which can destroy everything when unleashed. Orochimaru coveted that power greatly. Why he decided to pair Sasuke up with Kabuto indeed vexed the both of them, but it didn’t matter now. The approaching crinkling and crunching of leaves caused the boys to get to their feet and prepare the jutsu. Now, all Kaliana had to do was come into view.

“You’re sure she’s alone?” Sasuke inquired in a whisper.

“Positive.” Kabuto answered with a confident grin. “This is going to be an extremely simple task.”
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Kaliana stopped just before entering the clearing. She placed her hand on her ear and tilted her head slightly.

“Hey, Hizoku! Can you hear me now?” She asked both out loud and in her mind.

“Loud and clear…”[/u] The sword responded from its hiding place under a pile of leaves some 4 miles away. “You have one more mile to go, Kaliana. Then, you can start practicing your jutsus without me feeding you chakra, just as your Uncle Kakashi requested. He only wants you to become as powerful as you can be without my influence.”[/u]

“I know, I know. ” Kaliana sighed, removing her headband. The cool air on her glistening forehead felt nice. She shoved the headband in her pocket.

With a squeak of protest, Kuriochi popped his head out from her pocket and leered at her momentarily.

“Kuri Kurio!” He chattered irritably.

“Oops…I’m sorry Kuriochi! I thought you were in the other pocket!” Kaliana giggled, slightly embarrassed. “Did I ding you in the noggin with the metal plate?”

“Kuri Ku Kuri…” The tiny 4 inch tall mouse-like creature muttered, sinking back into the oblivion of Kaliana’s pocket.

Kaliana giggled again. Alright, Hizoku. I’m moving off. She said in her mind to her sword.

"Please watch where you’re going Kaliana. You’ve already fallen on that poor creature in your pocket twice today. I don’t think Kuriochi can take much more punishment. You know it influences his attacks."[/u]

Kaliana turned as if she were heading back, but instead, traveled backwards towards the clearing.

“Hizoku, stop worrying! I know where I’m going…” She was forced to stop short as her heel became caught on a root. She tumbled backwards into the clearing, quickly finding herself looking up at the sky. A small groan in her pocket caused her to flash the tiniest grin beneath her mask.

“…I meant to do that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kabuto chuckled lightly from the tree.

“Nice entrance.”

Sasuke, too, gave a little grin. Even someone as stern as himself couldn’t help but smile at Kaliana’s innocent and clumsy antics.
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Kaliana slowly pulled herself up and turned to examine the clearing.

“Say, this looks like a pretty nice spot for a picnic!”

"Focus Kaliana. You still have one more mile to travel. You can talk about picnics at another time."[/i]

“I know. I was just saying that it’s a nice spot. Very Disney-like, actually. I feel like I’m going to be surrounded by cute woodland creatures at any moment now.”
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“Now.” Kabuto ordered, beginning to form the series of handseals.

Sasuke’s handseals were synchronized with Kabuto’s. He smiled ever so slightly.

Maybe this is going to be easier then I thought…

Sasuke shifted his foot slightly to better balance himself. In doing so, however, he disturbed a lower branch. Suddenly, a flock of crows burst out of the tree, calling loudly as they flew over Kaliana’s head. Kabuto gave Sasuke a glare, but neither of them faulted in the handseals.
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Kaliana brought her gaze to the sky as the angry black mass of crows flocked above her in a frenzy. She cocked her head like a curious puppy.

“Ooh…speaking of Disney…this is kinda like that part in Bambi where the birds warn the deer about the hunt…” Kaliana stopped upon realizing her own words. “…ters”

Slowly, she brought her eyes up the tall manzanita tree before her. She squinted to get a better view of the dark branches above. The sun flickered as the flock of black birds faded the daystar with their flapping wings. A ray of sunlight managed to reflect the plate on Sasuke’s headband. Kaliana’s eyes went wide with a mixture of shock and fear.

“I really need to stop watching Disney movies…”
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“She sees us!” Sasuke whispered with a hint of panic in his voice.

“Doesn’t matter.” Kabuto grinned, finishing the final handseal. “She’s ours now.”
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Suddenly, Kaliana’s arms straightened rigidly at her sides. Every muscle in her body became petrified as her chakra froze in her veins.

What is this? I…I can’t move! Hizoku! Hizoku, I need help!

No response came from the sword. Kaliana’s breathing increased in speed and intake of air, as though she were hyperventilating.

What’s going on here? Why can’t I move? And why isn’t Hizoku answering me? I still have one more mile before it’s out of range! It doesn’t make sense!

Kaliana brought her nervous gaze to the manzanita tree, where she heard leaves rustling and branches giving to the weight of her unknown hunters.

In an instant, Kabuto and Sasuke were at the bottom of the tree, leaning against its massive trunk. Kabuto turned to Sasuke.

“Told you this would be easy. Now all we gotta do is drag her to Lord Orochimaru.”

“It was too easy if you ask me.” Sasuke muttered.

Kaliana was shocked to see Sasuke. She furrowed her brows and growled.

“YOU!? What are you doing working with that scum!? I thought you were my Uncle Kakashi’s student! You double crossing traitor! Wait until I tell my Uncle about you! You back stabbing son of a…”

“Why is she talking!?” Sasuke snapped at Kabuto. “She’s not supposed to be able to talk!”

“I told you that even the both of us performing the Jutsu wouldn’t make much of a difference on Kaliana. She’s special…her chakra is…unstoppable.” Kabuto finished with a dreamy sigh.

“Well, let’s get her out of here, and quick, before she’s able to move.”

Kaliana looked down at her pocket. She knew she had one hope left for rescue.

“Kuriochi! Help!”

The two boys exchanged suspicious glances.

“What’s a Kuriochi?” Kabuto questioned.

Sasuke knew he’d heard that name before, but he couldn’t quite remember where he’d heard it or what it was.

Suddenly, a tiny gray head poked out from Kaliana’s pants pocket. He looked up at Kaliana, knowing something was terribly wrong.

“Kuriochi, listen to me…blast those two with some Confusion Powder, then go get my Uncle Kakashi, okay?”

Kuriochi looked over at Kabuto and Sasuke, who were shocked, to say the least, at the sight of the tiny rodent-like creature. Kuriochi wasted no time in leaping from his hide-a-way and standing bravely between the immobile Kaliana and the two dangerous looking shinobi. His tiny tail stood erect while he emitted a squeaky threatening growl. Kabuto chuckled.

“You’re sending a wad of pocket lint to fight us? What a joke.”

Sasuke kept his eyes on Kuriochi, a bit suspicious.

That thing follows Kaliana around. I’ve seen it before! I just wish I could remember what it does…

Kuriochi charged at them with tiny leaps and bounds. Kabuto rolled his eyes. Surely, this must be a joke! But it wasn’t, and Kuriochi leapt high in the air and whipped his tail-puff at the enemies. He blasted a huge amount of Lavender-colored dust at them. Then, he whirled and dashed away into the bushes towards town. Kabuto and Sasuke coughed and heaved, inhaling the dust.

Kaliana, however, was very nervous now. She managed to get a look at the powder before it dispersed.

“Wait a minute…Confusion Powder is Orange…that wasn’t orange…it was…”

Her eyes widened with absolute terror upon realizing the mistake Kuriochi had just made.

“Oh no…KURIOCHI, WAIT! THAT WAS LUSTY DUST! COME BACK HERE, PLEASE! DON’T LEAVE ME! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!”

But, alas, it was too late. Kuriochi was gone. Kaliana brought her intense stare back to the boys.

Sasuke cleared his throat and straightened himself out, rubbing his eyes.

“Now I remember! That thing shoots powder out of its tail that, when inhaled, makes people over-emote. It also causes people to act on their exaggerated emotions. I’ve never seen it use that color before though. I wonder what it’s supposed to do? Kabuto?”

Sasuke looked over at the white-haired Leaf Village spy. His eyes seemed glazed and mindless. Sasuke nudged him.

“Kabuto! What is it? What are you feeling? Answer me!”

A smirk crept onto Kabuto’s face, his eyes locked on the incapacitated Kaliana. “I feel…aroused.” He said in a low tone, licking his lips.

Kaliana was very nervous now. She struggled to regain control over her body, but it was useless. The jutsu had a strong hold on her, and gave so sign of failing now.

shoot! I still can’t move!

Kaliana was shocked, and would have jumped had she not been frozen, to see Kabuto standing on her right, breathing heavily and gazing longingly at her body.

“HEY! Get away from me! You lay a hand on me and I’ll…”

Kabuto tore off her mask and tossed it aside.

“That cost money, you @$$! Who’s gonna pay for that?!” Kaliana argued, but to avail.

Kabuto gently placed one hand on her neck, reaching his index finger up to her face and caressing her lips. Kaliana snapped at him, causing him to withdraw momentarily.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME! I’LL BITE YOUR FINGER CLEAN OFF! AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU DECIDE TO PUT NEAR MY MOUTH!”

Kabuto laughed a little, keeping his eyes locked on her.

“Feisty aren’t you?”

Kaliana glared deeply into Kabuto’s lusty eyes.

“When I’m able to move again, I’m going to take a very large stick and ram it into your anus, though you’d probably like it, seeing as you’ve worked with Orochimaru since you were, what? 14?”

Kabuto shuddered and forced his body against hers.

“I love it when you talk dirty.”

Kaliana was enraged now. “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!”

Kaliana then felt her waist being straddled tightly from behind. Slowly, she managed to twist her neck around to see Sasuke grappling her. He rested his chin on her shoulder, his eyes wide and sorrowful.

“Kaliana…I…I don’t know what’s going on. But I can’t control it! Please believe me when I say how sorry I am! I’m so sorry Kaliana!”

Kaliana’s eyes narrowed. “I have nothing to say to you. You betrayed my uncle; betrayed your team! You’re nothing but a rat! You’re…HEY!” She stopped when she felt Kabuto lift the netting on her shirt and stroking her abs. “STOP THAT, YOU GROSS PERVERT! TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!!!! NOW!!!”

“Kabuto…we have to…try and control this…it’s wrong to take advantage of her like this! We need to stop!”

“Would you just shut up and enjoy yourself? This is probably the closest you’ve ever been to a girl in your life.” He finished by brushing his fingertips beneath her belly button.

Kaliana had had enough. The jutsu was wearing off and she took that opportunity to throw her head back and shout loudly.

"UNCLE KAKASHI!!! KURIOCHI! HIZOKU! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HELP ME! I’M IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE! SOMEBODY CALL 911! OR OPRAH! ANYBODY, PLEASE! I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT! BRING A HOSE, A CROBAR AND THE BIBLE! DR. PHIL! I’M GONNA NEED SERIOUS THERAPY AFTER THIS!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!”
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Meanwhile, 4 miles away, Hizoku levitated in the air, shivering, humming and glowing brightly.

Kaliana…I can hear your pleads, yet for some reason, I am unable to respond. I will break that jutsu. Nothing can stop our chakra flow! I will pump you so full of chakra that the jutsu will shatter. Unfortunately you will erupt in the process, but my White Chakra will heal you. Those wretched boys will pay for their misdeeds. It will all be over in a matter of seconds…

The sword continued to feed chakra into Kaliana’s filled-to-capacity veins. Back in the forest, her skin turned red and began to resonate a heat off of her. She could feel it strongly in her body. As the boys continued their eager and vigorous exploration, Kaliana’s chakra was rising to unheard of levels. She closed her eye tightly, anticipating the inevitable.

“This is going to hurt…” She muttered as her chakra reached its boiling point.
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Back in Konoha, Kakashi rested with Gai atop the Hokage Mountain.

“Where’s Kali?” Gai asked. “Last time I saw her, she was shouting obscenities at a Vending machine for not accepting money from her Monopoly game.”

Kakashi looked out towards the woods east of Konoha.

“I sent her off to do something beneficial. She’s training in the woods…hopefully. Last time I sent her off to train, I found her hours later playing with fireworks.”

Kuriochi scampered from the bushes and hopped into Kakashi’s lap, panting furiously. “Kuri…Kuri ku…Kuriochi, Kuri, Kuri, kurio!” He squeaked tiredly.

Kakashi ascended an eyebrow. “What is it, Kuriochi? Did Kaliana fall down another well?”

Kuriochi shook his head and pointed excitedly towards the woods. Suddenly, a loud BOOM echoed across the land. Kakashi and Gai brought their attention to the massive mushroom cloud rising up from the forest where Kaliana was training. Gai titled his head.

“Huh…never seen a Roman Candle do that before.”

Kakashi nodded. “Oh, you’d be surprised. She once blew up an entire street by shoving a lit Sparkler in a mailbox, it’s not shocking that she can take out a whole forest with a Roman Candle.”

“Should…should you check on her or something?”

“Nah. She’s fine.”
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In the woods, 2 miles away from where the molestation had taken place, Kabuto hung from a tree branch by his pants, his clothes burned off and his face badly singed. His glasses were black with soot. Sasuke, just as charred as Kabuto, hung perpendicular to him by his foot, which was caught in a branch. Sasuke glared at Kabuto, furious.

“An easy task, huh? Orochimaru is gonna be pissed, you idiot.”

Kabuto ignored Sasuke’s words, currently lost in his own thoughts as he dangled precariously over the rocky ground below.

“Ahh...so THAT’S what happens when you find the ‘G’ spot…”
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XD Pic done with sharpie and colored pencils. Story written this morning (Wed. Oct. 8th) on MS Word.

Naruto characters (C) Masashi Kishimoto

Kaliana (C) MW Roach.


No stealing my character....