Chapter 2 - Kawazu

The Weird Days of Lil' Slugger

Paranoia Agent

PG

Humor

Chapter 2: Kawazu

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" Okay, note to self. Never go to a crazy lady's house with possessed plush dog. " Lil' Slugger said to himself as he skated down a busy street. Whenever he skates by, random people scream and blow up. Lil' Slugger sometimes laughs at this, pays no attention, or just stares.

" Hey, wait a minute....who was the next victim after Tsukiko? Um...Kaoru...Kazuma..uh...oh right! That weird reporter guy who does that RUMOR magazine. Kawazu! Yeah, let me just go make his life heck again! " Lil' Slugger skated off to to the place Kawazu was. He entered the building and was stopped by some weird lady. " And where do you think you're going? "

" I go to that fat reporter guy, Kawazu. Where do you think? GOSH! "



" Not without an appointment. "



" Look!! I don't have time for this!!"



" Neither do I and Kawazu-san! Now sign up for an appointment, or I'll throw you out!!"



" FINE!!! " She handed him a paper and he signed it. She told him to go sit in the waiting room until Kawazu was ready for him. Once Lil' Slugger entered everyone looked up at him. They got so scared of his presence that they all blew up. " They seriously got to stop doing that. It's even scarier then me. " He sits down in a chair and stares at a wall for a few moments. Then he looks to his left and sees a magazine rack. " Eh, I'm bored." He picks one up and looks in it.

" Dude. This...is...complete...CRAP!!! Who cares if the Earth is gonna blow up in however many years it says cuz I don't feel like reading it!! " He tosses it aside and picks up another.

" Hmmm...Parenthood....oh heck NO!!!! " Once again he tosses it aside. " There is absolutely NO way I'm gonna become a parent!!! " He picks another. " Playbo- You know I'm not even gonna bother. " he throws it away and lays down on the seats and falls asleep.



A few hours later he wakes up at the sound of the door opening. " Slugger-san? Kawazu will see you now. " " Finally!!! " Lil' Slugger goes up the stairs, with much difficulty because of his skates, and up to Kawazu's office place thing. " Ah Lily Slug. Come in. Come in. " Lil' Slugger was dumbstruck. " What did you just call me!??!" " Okay Lily. I'm a busy man. What do you want? " " Well, one thing I'm not 'Lily Slug'! I'm Lil' Slugger!!! GET IT STRAIGHT!!! The second thing is that I've come to haunt you again! Isn't that nice? " Kawazu stared at him as if he was speaking a different language. After a few minutes Kawazu finally said, " So are you new in town? Maybe you and I can go out for dinner sometime? " Lil' Slugger stared, mouth wide open and eyes wide. " Are you hitting on me!?!? YOU SICKO!!!!! I'm not a girl!!! I'm a boy you gender confused freak!!! " " So Sunday then? " Lil' Slugger does not answer. Instead, he bangs his head against the desk.



" This calls for a celebration!!!! " He takes out a CD player and puts in the Paranoia Agent theme in it and starts dancing. " Come on Lily!!! Dance with me!!! " " Not on your life. Sicko. "

Lil' Slugger gets up and is about to leave but is stopped by Kawazu. " Where do you think you are going? " " Dude. The lady at the front desk said that. Anyway, I'm leaving from your craziness. You are loco mister! " Kawazu takes Lil' Slugger's hands and starts dancing with him. " I told you I don't want to DANCE!!!! " But it seems as though Kawazu has a death grip so Lil' Slugger could not resist. He had to endure twelve hours of non-stop dancing.



" Whew. I'm pooped. " Kawazu said as he sat down in his spinny chair. " Chance! " Lil' Slugger runs out of the room, well technically skates but, and out of the building. " Oh my god. Who knew dancing could be so horrible. Well, I'm callin' it a night. " Lil' Slugger skates off to some abandoned house thing and spends the night there.





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Man was Kawazu hard!!!! I didn't really see the episode with him so yeah..I went to the offical site to get some info on him...I did the best I could....Stay..uh...logged in for Chapter 3 Ushiyama!!!!! See ya later!! ^_^

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