Chapter 3 - Ushiyama

The Weird Days of Lil' Slugger

Paranoia Agent

PG

Humor

Chapter 3: Ushiyama

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"Well the next kid, I didn't attack but I'll visit him anyway!" Lil' Slugger said with his trademark grin on. He skated to some neighborhood and found the house. "Whoa, that's a huge house." He knocks on the door and Shogo Ushiyama answers it. "Kozuka! You're here!! Just in time!!" "What!?" Usshi grabs his sleeve and pulls him into the house. "Hey mom, dad! My other friend is here!"



Usshi continues to drag Koz- I mean Lil' Slugger into the living room where his parents are. His parents stare at him with disbelief and shock. Like when at Thanksgiving when you're turkey gets up, smacks you and starts dancing to the Six Flags theme. "Um...hi...Makoto." His mother said shyly. "Okay, let's go Kozuka." Usshi drags Lil' Slugger again to his room. Lil' Slugger is too confused to do or say anything right now.



"Wait, Usshi honey?" His mother called. "Yeah?" "Come down here." "Okay. You wait here in my room Kozuka." He said as he ran down to his mother's call. Lil' Slugger, finally being able to regain a clue of what just happened, was about to skate away when h heard another boy's voice. "S'up Makoto." That voice made Lil' Slugger cringe. How many people are hiding in this house!? He asked himself. Lil' Slugger turned around and saw a boy with light brown hair, brown eyes, a smile similar to his yet not as demonic, and a yellow baseball cap with a red rim.

It was Yuichi Taira.



"Hi. Can I leave now?" "No. You just got here." A full five minutes past. "Can I leave now?" "No." Back in the living room with the conversation of Usshi and his mom. "Honey, is there something wrong with you? You have any issues you want to discuss?" Usshi just stared. "Mom....WHAT!?" "You brought Lil' Slugger into the house." "He's not Lil' Slugger. He just looks like him but he's not. Kozuka would never attack anyone." His mother eyed him and said, "Just be careful." Once this ended, Usshi ran back up to his room.



"Okay guys. I'm back! What do you all want to do?" The two boys start thinking and Lil' Slugger immediately shouts, "How about I leave and you two just sit there? It's very fun I assure you." Ichi gives him a look of annoyance. "Look Makoto. Just because you're 14 and we're 12 doesn't mean you have to think you can run the show. Obviously that's my job but still. Now sit down before Usshi gets mad." Lil' Slugger sighed and sat back down. "Oh god, this reminds me of the time I was dressed up as a girl to sneak in a girl's sleepover party. Especially when they hit me....menacingly!!!" Lil' Slugger shivered at the thought.



-FLASHBACK OF DOOM!-



Four very preppy girls were sitting on the floor waiting for what they thought another girl was to arrive. A knock was heard on their door. A very ugly girl (Gomen Shounenbat. Gomen.) with short curly hair put back into a braid, a long jade green skirt, and a dark blue longsleeve shirt entered the room. To the naked eye, it would be a VERY ugly girl. To the very good eye, it would be Lil' Slugger. "Hi gals." He said with the most crappiest girl voice ever. "Hi." They said in unison. "You're like just in time for the best gossiping time ever!" One of them said. "Yeah. We're just about to like talk about the most hottest guys ever!" "Care to pick one first?"



"Um..sure." Lil' Slugger was already about to puke because of all this preppiness. Why did he come? He asked himself. Then he got the greatest idea of who to say. "Lil' Slugger is the hottest guy ever!!!" He smiled. The girls stared at him until they burst out laughing. A sweat drop was visible on Lil' Slugger's forehead. "Like oh my god! I was going to say that!" "I know right! Lil' Slugger is totally hot! I wish I could have him all to myself! I would hug and kiss him and hug him some more!" Lil' Slugger was blushing madly. Oh crap. What have I done? What if they figure out that I'm sitting right here? I'm scared now. I need a hug. "I saw the news the other day when they showed Lil' Slugger's face. Oh my god, I have never seen something as perfect as that!"



"Come to think of it. How come your face looks very similar to Lil' Slugger's huh?" Crap. "Gee, I don't know." "And your hair is the same as his. Oh my god! You are Lil' Slugger!!!" Holy Mother of God. All the girls screamed. Not the happy scream. The scream you scream when you've figured out your boyfriend/girlfriend was really an old midget in his/her sixties. Lil' Slugger gets out of his disguise(He had his normal clothes under it.) and starts to head for the door. Unfortunately, a girl stops him. They all have very angry looks on their faces. This won't end well. Wait. I thought they said I was hot. Now they want to kill me? What's up with that!? The girls grabbed some pillows and made Lil' Slugger experience the worst pillow fight of his life.



-END FLASHBACK OF DOOM!-



"NO MORE PILLOWS!!!! NO MORE PILLOWS!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!" Lil' Slugger said hysterically. Ichi and Usshi tried to calm him down. "Kozuka!! It's okay! There are no murderous pillows in which you speak of." "Makoto! You freak! Calm down!" Lil' Slugger went into the corner of the room, now in the fetal position. "No more pillows. No more pillows. No more pillows. Pillows do not exist. They are a scary story used to scare little children." Ichi and Usshi looked at each other and had an evil smile on their faces. Seems as though they got an idea. "Hey. Makoto. You said you're scared of pillows eh? Come on Usshi." The two boys get some pillows and put them in front of Lil' Slugger's face. Lil' Slugger stared wide eyed before screaming hysterically again. Laughter and screams filled the room.



Back at the living room, Usshi mother went bolting to his room. She thought that Lil' Slugger was attacking Ichi and Usshi. When she opened the door, her theory was wrong. It was the exact opposite. Lil' Slugger saw Usshi's mom in the doorway. "CHANCE!" He bolted through the door and out of the house. He started skating so fast and so far, he eventually lost his sense of direction. "Those...boys...are....MANIACS!!!!!" Lil' Slugger said while catching his breath. Then he stood up proudly and said, "I wasn't scared. Nothing ever scares the sexy Lil' Slugger."

He skates off in search of the next victim person thing.



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Lil' Slugger's new found fear. Pillows. So anyway, it's been a while since I updated so you must hate me now. Not to fret! I shall try and update a bit faster now! Stay tuned for chapter four! Harumi Chono!

See ya later!

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