Chapter 9 - Damn Women and Their Games

Helololo, my lovelies! Did you miss me terribly?

I almost feel bad for writing right now. For the past three days I've been obsessively reading fanfics and being a terrible `pooter nazi to my lovely roommate, Leah. I finally finished (ran out of chapters of ;_;) the fic I was reading so I thought to myself `Maybe I'll see if Leah wants a turn?' When I went to her room, the door was closed and lights seemed to be off, so then I thought `Maybe I'll just send her a text.' So I looked for my cell phone, but it was nowhere to be found and I was too lazy to log out of AOL so I could call it on the house phone, so I continued looking. When I finally decided to try calling myself, I heard the familiar sound of incoming mail. So then I thought to myself `Maybe I'll just check my mail real quick first.' So I checked it, and low and behold, it was a review. Then another thought crossed my mind. `Maybe I should just write for a little while. I don't have to finish the chapter, just start it. Yeah...' And we all know what those kind of thoughts lead to... ^^;

The funny thing is that the review was once again from DigitalDreamer. That girl really has good timing, no?

Is it sad that I only sometimes write a disclaimer? It's not my fault that I forget that not everyone knows I don't own One Piece. After all, someone could crawl out from beneath a rock, find a computer and mistake me for the one who does. Okay, or maybe not. *Sobs*

-o-Chapter Nine-o-

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

Zoro sat cross-legged on the deck of the Going Merry. He was resting his back against the ship's railing as he studied the object of his affection. Luffy was laughing like an idiot, listening to another one of Usopp's nonsensical tales. Zoro was purposely tuning out what the long nose was saying. He judged from the lude gestures that Usopp was making as he rambled his story, that he probably didn't want to know. The dark-haired captain seemed to be enjoying himself enough though, occasionally asking a question or two in-between his own bouts of hysterical laughter. What's so funny about Usopp, anyway? The swordsman scowled. If Zoro had been a less pridefull man, he might have admitted that he was a touch jealous of all the attention that was not being directed towards him. In reality, however, Zoro was a very, very pridefull man.

Luffy's eyes suddenly turned to Zoro. The boy smiled, seeing his first mate watching him. Zoro nearly jumped out of his skin, then immediately looked away. When he looked back a moment later, he was surprised to see that Luffy's attention was still on him. Zoro managed a weak smile, which satisfied the boy who smiled wider in return then went back to listening to Usopp.

My god, I'm pathetic...

The green-haired man stood up and walked over to his friends.

``So, what bullshoot are you feeding him today?'' He directed at Usopp.

``Hey, it's not bullshoot!'' The long nose protested. ``I really did defeat Crapzilla!!''

``Crap... zilla?'' Zoro stared at the younger man. ``Are you retarded?''

To this statement, Luffy busted up laughing.

``What?? Of course I'm not retarded! Crapzilla was the terror of South Blue!'' Usopp crossed his arms proudly. ``If only you knew how many lives I saved that day...''

``Right, and I'm Thumbelina.''

``Who??'' Usopp and Luffy asked together.

The young man sighed deeply. ``Never mind...''

The threesome turned their heads in unison as a voice called from inside the ship.

``Usopp! Could you come here for a second, please?''

Zoro immediately recognized Chopper's voice. He had more than just a hunch that the pint-sized doctor had a real reason for calling Usopp. Damn meddling reindeer...

The liar turned to Luffy. ``I'll finish telling you the tale of my heroic deeds later, okay?''

Luffy nodded and grinned.

Zoro watched Usopp run feelings to Luffy while he was still on the Merry. There are way too many ways things could go wrong with all those seedy pirates around... (As if he wasn't one of them.) Zoro glared at all the possible hiding places surrounding them as if the entire crew was in hiding, waiting for him to say something embarrassingly unmanly. The image of them all jumping out and shouting `suprise', however unlikely, put the quite paranoid Zoro on edge.

``Zoro?''

The pirate stopped eyeing a barrel. ``What?''

``What are you looking at?'' Luffy began to stare at the barrel as well.

``Uhhh... I thought I saw a rat.''

``Oh?'' Luffy got that `I-wonder-if-I-can-eat-that' look in his eye.

``Believe me Luffy, you don't want to eat a rat.''

``Huh?'' Luffy turned to his friend in amazement. ``Zoro, you just read my mind!!''

Roronoa chuckled. ``No, I just know you too well.''

``You do.'' Laughing sheepishly, Luffy adjusted his hat. ``Probably better than everyone else.''

The statement caught Zoro off-guard. He tried to dismiss the comment as just another one of the strange things Luffy tended to say, but... It almost seemed like he really meant it.

Zoro suddenly realized that he hadn't yet responded. ``Heh, yeah... Maybe.'' The swordsman mentally smacked himself. How lame can I possibly get?? Maybe I'm the one who's retarded!

For a split second, Luffy wore a strange expression that Zoro could have sworn was disappointment. But, before he could blink, Luffy was wearing his usual cheerful grin again.

``I'm hungry... I'm gonna go see if Sanji's done with lunch yet,'' The boy smiled and headed toward the kitchen.

Zoro didn't respond. He had a feeling deep down that he had (once again) said something really stupid.

``Wow, that was really pathetic.''

Zoro turned and glared at the source of the voice. Nami came down from her tangerine grove with a smug look on her face.

``Now you're eavesdropping?'' Zoro

``Actually, it was just a coincidence I happened to see you two. I'm just not dumb enough to miss a chance to survey my opponent.''

A lesser ma-er-woman would have cried like a little girl if they had received the death glare Zoro was giving the navigator. Fortunately (Or possibly unfortunately) for Nami, she had spent a great deal of time with people who could snap her spine like a twig. Even the fact that Zoro could most likely have taken all those men and snapped their collective mass of spine like a bundle of twigs didn't change the look of confidence the young woman wore.

That look pissed Zoro off more than anything she could have said. She was wearing a look that said `I've already won'. Zoro didn't like that look one bit.

``What the hell are you up to?''

``Didn't I already explain to you about how telling you these things is silly?''

``Well, you already told me one thing.''

``Yes. I did, didn't I?''


The swordsman growled. Now she's just playing with me.

Nami laughed. ``Is that the only way you can respond? Growling like an animal wont get you anywhere, you know.''

Zoro took the insult with unusual calmness. ``I don't know, Luffy might be in to that sort of thing,'' He replied with a smirk.

The redhead raised an eyebrow. The sudden change in Zoro's behavior surprised her slightly, but she hardly showed it.

``Maybe...'' She trailed off. ``But he might also be into someone who's... Well, let's just say built a little smaller. Men like curves, and I don't think the ones you have are exactly what he's looking for.''

Zoro carefully hid how much the comment had stung. ``I don't know... Luffy didn't seem to mind them when he was on top of me the other night,'' Ha. Two can play dirty.

Zoro grinned inwardly. Though only slightly, the woman's eyes had widened. Take that, dog!

Nami looked as though she was going to respond when a voice distracted them from their cat fight. ((AN: Yeah, I said cat fight. They were only a hair pull away from one.))

``Nami-saaaaan~!!'' Sanji flew from the kitchen with hearts where his eyes should have been. Zoro could have sworn the young blonde's feet weren't touching the floor as he glided toward the woman he adored. ``Lunch is re- Huh?''

Zoro and Nami though now silenced, continued to stare each other down.

The cook narrowed his eyes at Zoro. Without asking a word about what was going on, he asked. ``Do you want me to take care of this cactus-head, Nami-san?''

The thief waved her hand dismissively at Sanji. ``Don't bother, Sanji-kun,'' She said smiling sweetly. ``Now what were you going to tell me?''

Sanji didn't take his eyes off Zoro, trying to glare an explanation out of him. After a moment, he turned back to his goddess. ``I finished preparing your special lunch, Nami~san!'' He answered, purring out her name.

Zoro's expression went from homicidal to disgusted. If there was one thing that made him really hate Sanji, it was the way he gushed over women. The most pathetic thing about him letting her lead him around on a leash is that it's a completely lost cause.

Nami left with Sanji without saying another word to the swordsman. Zoro preferred it that way. However, he was hungry and was forced to follow the two inside.

I guess I'll just eat fast.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Zoro stared up at the night sky. He was once again on watch duty. Even though he seemed to be stargazing, his thoughts were far away from astronomy. He couldn't stop thinking about Nami's actions. Something doesn't seem quite right... The woman and himself had always had a tendency to argue, and he had always had problems trusting their navigator, but for some reason he found it difficult to believe that Nami would behave that way. As much as he had witnessed (and been a victim of) her scams, he had also seen the young pirate's softer side. He was also well aware that Nami wore a very deceptive poker face at nearly all times. He didn't know what it was that she was planning, but he couldn't help but be a little nervous. There had been times when Luffy had shown what could have been interest in the woman. It was hard to forget about how the captain had behaved at Arlong Park. Even though the woman's actions perplexed him, he knew he couldn't let his guard down.

No. I wont let her take him.

The sound of footsteps brought Zoro out of his own mind. It didn't take long for him to recognize the rhythm.

``You're early, cook.''

There was no response, but Zoro knew the blonde had heard him. A moment later, the sound of Sanji climbing up the rope ladder.

Neither man spoke as the cook climbed into the crows nest and promptly lit a cigarette.

Letting out a puff of smoke, Sanji turned to Zoro. ``What did you say to Nami-san?''

Zoro had expected to hear something along those lines. ``It's none of your business.''

``Nami-san has been acting strangely lately,'' Sanji turned his gaze toward the sky. ``I know it has something to do with you. At the very least, you know what's troubling her.''

``I might have an idea.''

``Tell me what's going on, Cabbage-head.''

``But I've been sworn to secrecy,'' Zoro replied innocently. ``You wouldn't want to go against what `Nami-swan' wishes, would you?''

Sanji glared at his companion. ``Why the hell would she tell you anything?''

Zoro shrugged irritably. ``If I could figure that out, I'd have fewer problems in my life.''

Sanji silently examined Roronoa. He wore the expression of a man who thinks his wife is cheating on him. ``Stay away from Nami-san. Whatever you're doing is making her unhappy and I wont tolerate that.''

Zoro looked like he had a bad taste in his mouth. ``Are you out of your mind? First of all, she confronted me. Second of all, I wouldn't touch that woman with a ten-foot pole and I get the feeling she feels the same way!''

Sanji only scowled. ``Even if that's true, you're still the one that's causing all of this!''

Zoro almost considered telling the cook what was really troubling Nami. He could almost imagine the shocked expression the Love Cook when he realized his rival for love was his own captain. However, Zoro knew what exposing Nami's secret meant and he didn't want the whole ship to know about his little crush.

``Keep thinking whatever you want,'' Zoro replied in a bored tone. ``Enjoy your shift.''

Zoro hopped over the side of the crows nest after giving an informal wave to the cook.

The blonde stared angrily at his pocket watch then at the space the swordsman had occupied previously. Bastard still has five minutes left!

-o-Chapter End-o-

Heh... I guess I lied a little about the goodness. Eep! Don't hurt me! I can't help it. I don't really plan what I write so much as start typing and go with the flow. Whenever I try too hard, things don't work properly. C'mon, no likes playing with a broken toy, right? Believe me, the best kind of rewards are the kind you have to work hard for. And naturally, by `work hard' I mean review.

. . .

*Stares*

Has my smooth talking lulled you into that lovely review-giving mood? Oh, I just know it has.

I promise I'll try to get to the good stuff soon, but I can't rush things. If I rush it, it wont be worth it in the end, ya know? Anyway, shower me with praise! Or kisses. Yeah, kisses. I mean the chocolate kind of course. If I collect enough, I can build a castle of kisses and reside there for the rest of my days. Oh yes~!

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