Chapter 5 - True Feelings

True Feelings Sesshomaru had to go back and get Jaken and Rin, but he said he would catch up later on. It wasn’t until the gang was finishing lunch that they caught up. Sesshomaru greeted Yoshiko happily with Rin on his back. He had been carrying her. Everyone, but Jaken decided to go slow for Rin. “Someone can carry her. Or we could just leave her. She is just a stupid human.” Jaken said loudly so everyone heard. Sesshomaru and Rin gave him an evil glare. Yoshiko just looked at him coldly. “Rin is staying because I want her to stay.” Yoshiko said coolly. “And if you have a problem with it talk to your master. Or should I say your murderer.” She said slyly. Jaken quickly looked at Sesshomaru shocked, scared, and confused. Sesshomaru just looked at Jaken and after a few minutes smiled. They continued on the trail. It was later at night when they stopped. Jaken asked Yoshiko if he could talk to her privately for a moment. They went a few yards into the woods to talk. “You want to know if I was telling the truth” Yoshiko said after a couple of minutes of silence. Jaken looked at her with amazement and fright. “Yes and if you don’t believe me you can see for yourself.” She turned to him and closed her eyes then rapidly opened them. Now they were a pure violet. Jaken looked into them and saw the future. He saw himself picking on Rin as usual and Sesshomaru with his back turned. Jaken teased Rin for a while then Sesshomaru turned and unsheathed his sword in one fluid movement. He cut Jaken in two. He again turned and just left Jaken there. Rin stared for a little while then ran to catch up with Sesshomaru. Yoshiko looked away and closed her eyes. Jaken had seen what she had. She was a little tired from leaving her eyes uncovered for so long. It always pained her to just uncover them, but to leave them open kills her if she is just showing someone their future. She turned just how Sesshomaru had turned, which made Jaken jump in fear. She left him to think of what to do now. In the morning Jaken announced that he was leaving. No one was upset one bit. Sesshomaru whispered to Yoshiko “I guess I should thank you.” Which made her giggle. He was satisfied that he got to be so close to her. It had been days since he was able to get that close to her. He longed to get even closer to her, but that little whisper was good enough for now.***********Weeks Later************* They had been walking for hours when they stopped for lunch. The whole time Sesshomaru was sitting right next to Yoshiko and was trying to talk to her, but she was distracted. She kept looking up ahead to the north. She closed her eyes a lot and would get a worried look on her face. When they were finishing up lunch Yoshiko said “I’m going to scout ahead. Wait for me to get back before you go.” Sesshomaru was worried about her and every one could see that. “Yoshiko, what is wrong?” Sesshomaru asked grabbing her arm. She turned and put her hand on his cheek. He loosened his grip unconsciously and turned his face into her hand. He felt her warmth. Her touch was healing and inescapable. He couldn’t take his mind from it and then it was gone. She was walking away. He was saddened, but was worried much more.************************* It had been two hours when everyone was getting worried. Everyone was afraid for Yoshiko, but Sango was also worried about Miroku. He hadn’t hit on her or any other woman they met on the road in days. He hadn’t even tried to grab her @$$!!!! Anyway, they decided to leave Shippo and Rin there until they found Yoshiko. Sesshomaru was searching desperately for a trail. They were moving really fast when they came to a field. There were dead demons all around. They had been completely demolished. There had to be at least a thousand. “Let’s split up. Yoshiko has to be here somewhere. I can smell her scent.” Sesshomaru said sniffing the air for a better sign of her. Kagome was looking around when she saw Yoshiko in the middle of the field. Her staff was out and covered in demon blood. Her hair had half fallen out of it’s pony tail. She was filthy. There didn’t appear to be any wounds on her though. Kagome knelt down and tried to wake her. Yoshiko opened her eyes for a moment. Kagome saw purple eyes and not blue. She also saw InuYasha holding her and kissing her passionately in her eyes. Then Yoshiko closed her eyes. Kagome sat back in pure shock and slight joy. She was happy because what she saw was the future. She was shocked though because she never thought InuYasha would show any sign of affection to her other then protecting her. And what about Kikyo? When she heard InuYasha yell at her in her face she was knocked out of her trace. His face was only a foot away from hers. She instantly blushed like crazy and turned away. “Are you ok? You didn’t answer me when I asked you what you had found. I guess I know now.” He said with a glance to Yoshiko. “What happened though? You look a little … I don’t know….. scared or… happy.” “I think we should get Yoshiko out of here.” She said trying to avoid the subject. He agreed and called everyone over. They got her back into the woods. Miroku said he would go back and find Rin and Shippo. Sango also went. InuYasha and Kagome went looking for a source of water and fire-wood. Sesshomaru stayed with Yoshiko. He just stared at her for hours. ‘What happened? Why couldn’t I have stopped you? Why didn’t I stop you? Why did you leave by yourself? I could tell you knew there was danger. I wish I could have helped.’ He thought endlessly. He went to her side and looked at her all over. She was leaning up against a tree. She made no sound other than her slow breathing. He couldn’t find a place where she had been hurt. He then came to the conclusion that she was just exhausted. Her hair was covering her face completely. He sighed and cleared it from her dirty face. He tried to wipe away some of the dirt. Sesshomaru then realized that he could get as close to her as he wanted to. So he picked her up and let her rest in his lap. He was the one that leaned against the tree now. Sesshomaru turned the soul bead over in his hand. ‘Were you ever this cold to my father or were you two…’ Yoshiko started to wake up. She knew Sesshomaru had her in his arms. It felt so nice that she didn’t want to move and have him start to ask questions. She just laid there thinking of what she had done, how tired she was, and how much she wanted this moment to never end. She couldn’t help, but shift in his arms trying to get more comfortable. After turning a bit she finally sat across his lap, letting her head rest on his chest above his heart. He was shocked that Yoshiko was cuddling with him. He didn’t ask anything. Just let her and loved it. They sat there for a long time before Sesshomaru asked the question he had been dying to ask. “Are you alright?” he whispered into her ear. Yoshiko just snuggled closer and said weakly “I’m fine. Just a little tired.” Sesshomaru tightened his hold on her. He never wanted to let her go. He began to think the same questions he had earlier. “I can’t answer that right now. When I’m a little stronger I’ll explain.” Yoshiko told him encouragingly. He shifted to see her face and she just smiled and buried her face in his shirt.**********Meanwhile********** Sango and Miroku were finding they’re way through the woods back to Shippo and Rin. Kilala was trotting a ways ahead of the pair. Sango was walking in front of Miroku wondering ‘Why the HELL hasn’t Miroku grabbed my @$$. It isn’t normal. Something must be wrong.’ She decided to stop and ask him. She turned around to face him and caught him looking at her funny. “Miroku, you have been acting strange lately. Is something wrong?” She asked concern in her voice. He just stared at her and started to blush. “Nothing is wrong. I just saw into Yoshiko’s eyes a week ago. They’re very beautiful. The brightest and yet darkest violet you have ever seen.” Miroku was describing with passionate detail. Sango took it as he had fallen in love with her. “That’s enough. I get it.” Sango said unable to kept the disappointment from her voice. Miroku didn’t understand, so he continued. “As Yoshiko had said I saw my future…. And yours.” He started to explain in detail of the experience.**Flashback** Yoshiko had been walking with Miroku in the back. A question taunted Miroku in the back of his mind. He finally gathered the courage to ask Yoshiko. “Yoshiko, what is in store for me in my future?” he asked shyly. Yoshiko giggled a little before answering. “You want to know if you will ever be able to take those beads off for good. Maybe. You also want to know if you will bear a child with someone don’t you?” she asked knowing exactly who that someone was. Miroku nodded his head solemnly. “I don’t know if I should tell you, but I know I can show you. It might give you somewhat of an answer.” They then stopped walking. Yoshiko closed her eyes slowly trying to find the vision she had seen from time to time. When she had found it she opened her purple eyes to the world. Miroku saw Sango in his arms. He couldn’t see her face, but he noticed tears in his eyes. He was clinging to her tightly. Then Yoshiko turned away. ‘That didn’t answer any questions. Now I have a million more.’ he thought in his daze. Before long he noticed Yoshiko’s heavy breathing . “Are you alright?” he asked concerned. “Yes. It just takes a little out of me when I show people their future. I’m supposed to see these things, not the people I show them to.” she stated. He nodded. ‘I guess I should let it be. She is tired. At least I have something to look forward to, I hope.’ he thought before helping Yoshiko catch up with the rest.**End of Flashback** “I still don’t know why I was holding you. I fear you might have been hurt, but I hope you were there because… you wanted to be there.” he said with painstaking hope. Sango couldn’t find the words. Hell she couldn’t even think at that moment. She just walked ahead on the path faster to get away from him. Miroku was instantly hurt broken. She might as well have said ‘I don’t think of you that way’ He stayed behind to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheek. He then wiped his eyes and walked on thinking he would never feel the same way again. He would never love another woman. He would never again have the same intense hope that his true love could love him back. ‘Oh My God!! I never thought Miroku would settle on one woman. Let alone me!’ She knew she deeply cared for Miroku, but she wasn’t sure if she loved him or even if she did that she could say it. She also realized that she had hurt Miroku. She then stopped walking. ‘I should say something’ she concluded. She waited there until Miroku caught up. He looked so miserable. She couldn’t bear the thought that she had caused him that pain. She took a deep breath before speaking. “Miroku, I don’t know how I feel for sure. I know I care for you more than most, but other than that I don’t know. Maybe we could just go on like before.” she suggested. She looked into his eyes trying to find an answer to her suggestion. “I can’t. Not after what I saw in Yoshiko’s eyes. I won’t mention this again. Just know how I feel.” He said then kissed her forehead and her hand. Sango was blinded by the sweet kiss on her head. It had felt so amazing. The kiss on her hand was just a tease though. All the same it felt VERY nice. They then hugged quickly and went on. Soon finding Rin and Shippo with Kilala they headed back to camp, hand-in-hand.*********Meanwhile********* Kagome was trying to avoid InuYasha’s stare. He had been doing that ever since they left camp. He then looked away and sniffed the air. “I think there is some water this way.” he said pointing to the west. “Ok. Let’s get going then.” Kagome said. “Wait.” InuYasha commanded before she could get to far. “What did you see in her eyes? You did see her eyes uncovered, right?” InuYasha asked curiously. “I saw….” Kagome couldn’t finish. She was getting nervous as it was. Then she looked up and saw InuYasha standing next to her. He was so close. ‘How could I have not noticed him there.’ she thought upset at herself. He smelled fear and a hint of pleasure on her. “Kagome, what are you afraid of?” InuYasha said smelling her more deeply. Trying to find the pleasure on her again. He found it more and more the closer he got. He was only able to stop himself right in front of Kagome. He was less than a foot away. Fear was slipping away. He decided to touch her cheek. When he did that the fear came slamming back into her heart. He took away his hand. “Do you fear me?” he whispered a little afraid himself. Kagome looked at him in shock. “Never!” she insisted. Kagome had been avoiding his gaze so this exact thing wouldn’t happen. She saw how that made him relieved. How it made him so happy. Then she saw something else. She had seen him look at Kikyo that way before. When she was brought back to life and when Kikyo had kissed him. She had never seen him look at her that way though. “What did you see?” InuYasha asked again. Getting close to her and putting his hand on her cheek again. She was silent for a few endless moments. He got impatient and leaned in. “Please.” he whispered into her ear. He took his head away from her ear, but paused in front of her face. Kagome was too far gone to say anything. Then she found the nerve to ask “What about Kikyo?” with tears in her eyes. “I looked into Yoshiko’s eyes, too. I saw something I never want to see again. I saw you die in my arms.” InuYasha said and then wrapped her in a lustful embrace. He then told her of his ordeal.**Flashback** Everyone, but InuYasha and Yoshiko were asleep. InuYasha was in his tree staring up at the sky. Yoshiko came to stand under that tree. ‘InuYasha can we talk a little ways away from camp. I need to tell you something and I don’t want to wake the others.’ she told him in his mind. He nodded and jumped from the tree. He glanced at Kagome. She looked safe and he couldn’t smell any demons in the area so he decided he could leave for a minute. Once they were far enough away that they could talk without disturbing the others InuYasha looked back, relieved to be able to still see his Kagome. “What did you need to tell me?” he asked irritably. He didn’t like being away from Kagome at night. This was the only time he could look at Kagome without anyone questioning him. “I’m not sure how to say this. There is a lot to say.” she looked like she was already regretting bringing InuYasha here. “I think I will just show you. I will fast forward through some of it.” she said. Her eye lids sank down slowly. Then whipped open. InuYasha found himself lost in her violet eyes before seeing the future. It was going by quickly, but he understood that Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kilala, Kagome, and himself were going down the road when they stopped. Everything slowed. They made camp in their quick pace from habit. Kagome was already starting supper. He smelt the air and could really smell it in his nose then and there. He thought it was the faint smell of Naraku. He could hear himself talking to Kagome and everyone else. “I’m going to look around. I’ll be back soon.” he said and then dashed off without an other word. The vision stayed at camp and it was fast forwarding. Kagome was there giving everyone their dinner. He heard her thoughts in his head. ‘I wonder what is taking InuYasha so long.’ Kagome thought then she turned her head and saw Kikyo’s soul collectors. ‘He went after Kikyo. He left camp to find her because he could smell her scent. Why couldn’t he have just told one of us. He left me for her again.’ she thought saddened by InuYasha choice. ‘No I didn’t. I thought I smelled Naraku. I had no idea Kikyo was there.’ he shouted in his mind. “I think I’ll go look for InuYasha.” Kagome said to everyone with a fake smile when in truth she wanted to get away from InuYasha. She had loved him and he didn’t love her back. He could get his precious Kikyo to help. The vision continued only faster now. Kagome was walking away into the forest alone. He saw Kagome walk for quite some time. Then the vision slowed again. Kagome was sitting under a tree. She was crying. Again InuYasha heard her thoughts when he knew he shouldn’t have. ‘Why do I bother hanging around here. He will never care for me the way he does for Kikyo. This makes the tenth time he has left us for her without saying a word. He promised us he wouldn’t leave for her anymore. He promised me! Why couldn’t he see that I cared for him. Hasn’t our fight with Kaguya let him know that I love him?’ she thought drowning herself in misery. She sat there for a long time before Naraku appeared. He quickly came up to her and put his hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream. “Why are you out here all by your lonesome? Where is InuYasha and the monk and demon-slayer?” he asked only removing his hand for her to talk. “They’re gone. I’m alone.” she lied trying to keep her friends safe for now. He laughed as he put his hand back over her mouth. “You lie to keep me from them. That is very noble, but I already know where your camp is. And I know Kikyo is taking care of InuYasha.” He spoke the truth, but it hurt so much. It hurt to know that he had just been toying with her. He lifted her up. She tried to struggle, but it was no use. He was taking her somewhere and she couldn’t do anything about it. ‘InuYasha! Where are you? Why aren’t you here?’ she thought as she cried her eyes out.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ InuYasha came back to camp. He had search all over, but no sign of Naraku. He had seen Kikyo’s soul collectors though. He didn’t go to her because he had promised everyone that he wouldn’t go after her. He had been looking at Kagome though. He had been staring into her eyes. He had known that it was a relief for her. “Where’s Kagome?” he asked slightly concerned. “She went looking for you. Come to think of it she has been gone for some time.” Sango informed him. He started to sniff the air. He could smell Kagome and Naraku together. ‘Kagome!’ He sniffed the air again and smelt her blood. ‘She’s hurt!’ he realized. He darted off into the direction he smelled her. ‘I need to get to her. She needs me.’ “I’m going to skip ahead. You look for some time, but this is when you finally find her and Naraku is gone.” Yoshiko voice rang in his head. He then saw himself holding Kagome. She had cuts all over. Her blood was gushing out. He was crying. “Kagome please don’t go. Please! I need you here Kagome!” He took one of her limp hands in his and pressed it to his heart. “I need you to stay here. I love you Kagome. Stay here, stay alive in my heart.” he pleaded her. “Inu…Yasha.” she murmured weakly. He opened his eyes to look at her beautiful hazel orbs. “Kagome. Stay with me Kagome. Please don’t die.” he begged her yet again. “I’m sorry.” she whispered her eyes slowly lowering. He swiftly kissed her trying to give her a reason to fight for her life. When he broke the kiss his eyes opened, but hers didn’t. “Kagome?” he shook her a little to make sure she wasn’t just sleeping. She wouldn’t open her eyes. He gently kissed her forehead. “I love you, Kagome, and only you.” he whispered. With that he heard her final heartbeat. She was gone. ‘I lost her, forever.’ he thought letting out one last sob. “InuYasha? That happens in about six months. Kagome had lost the will to live. Naraku tried to get the jewel shards from her, but she wouldn’t allow it. InuYasha, I’m going to show you something almost a month after that. Then I will have shown you everything I needed to.” her voice murmured softly in his ears. He was sitting under the sacred tree. ‘Kagome. My Kagome I hope you are safe. I hope you are happy where ever you are. I just hope you know I love you and always will.’ he thought hoping she would know. Then he sensed someone coming. He looked up from his daze. To his mischievous eyes he saw Kagome walking toward him. She was exactly as he remembered her. The beautiful angel that saved his life on many occasions and he had saved many more times. “Kagome?” she was so close to him. She was standing right in front of him. He instantly stood up. “Kagome how are you alive?” he asked taking her into his arms. “InuYasha what are you talking about?” she shouted at him. His vision suddenly cleared. It was Kikyo his arms. He let go quicker than lightening. “I’m sorry. I thought you were Kagome.” he apologized quickly disappointed. He then walked away. ‘He really misses her. I can never be what she was. I never was. I should go.’ Kikyo thought leaving the half-demon. Then the vision was gone. InuYasha stared at the panting Yoshiko. He was having trouble breathing. ‘Kagome dies?’ he thought petrified. “I heard Kikyo and Kagome’s thoughts. I was watching Kagome and I wasn’t there. Why? I thought I would only see my future, not Kagome’s.” he said confused only just starting to catch his breathe. “Yours and Kagome’s future are intertwined. I can show you hers as well as yours, but it is extremely exhausting. And I just found the thoughts to let you hear them. You needed to hear those things.” she said still panting a little. She was on her knees and hadn’t once looked at InuYasha. He realized this after just staring at her for a few minutes. “Are you alright?” he asked concerned, but not wanting to show that he was really worried. “Yes, I’m just tired. So InuYasha,…” she looked up into his eyes. Now he saw the familiar ocean blue. “Who do you choose?” she bluntly asked catching him off guard. He turned away. “I don’t know.” he honestly answered. “You know in your heart. You know you were destined to be with-” “No don’t tell me. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know!” he shouted. “It’s Kagome. You love Kagome. That is what your heart tells you. Your head is what tells you that you own your life to Kikyo.” she said letting him think that over. “But what about my promise to Kikyo? I promised I would always-” “You promised you would protect her. You never said anything about loving or dieing for her, now did you.” she said in her rare know-it-all way. “I do love her though.” ‘Don’t I?’ he debated with himself. “I can’t say much to change your, but I can tell you this. Kagome cried for you. Her and your mother were the only ones who ever cried for you. Kikyo cried because of you, but never for you. And I’ll remind you of the fact that Kikyo is dead. She will never come back. Kagome is over there alive, flesh and blood. Not clay and grave yard soul.” she finished then walked back toward camp. “InuYasha,…” she turned to say one last thing. “Kagome loves you. You love her. Kikyo doesn’t love you and you only care for her, not love.” she said before finishing her walk back to her sleeping spot.**End of Flashback** “I stayed there for sometime. I think I have made a decision. Actually I know I have made a decision.” he finished. He loosened his grip on her and looked into her eyes. “Kikyo is a part of my past. I want you to be a part of my future. I would do anything and everything for you. I would give my life for you. Anything to make you happy. I don’t think…. I know I can’t live without you.” He said sweetly. Kagome couldn’t speak. ‘Did InuYasha just say he would die for me. Does that mean he’s in love with me?’ He leaned down to her. Their lips were so close, but InuYasha stopped. “Do you feel the same, Kagome? Do you love me?” he whispered. Kagome couldn’t speak. She could barely breath. All she could do was lean in and kiss him. InuYasha loved the kiss more than anything and he could tell what she meant, but he needed to hear it. He gently pushed away. “Tell me. Say it, Kagome.” he said staying close. “I…. I…. I love you.” Kagome said and then kissed him with all the love she had ever felt for him. The love that never left her mind or heart. He felt more alive, more complete than ever. She had given him the most incredible feeling ever. He felt love. Pure love that could never be changed no matter what. He never wanted to let go of Kagome. Kagome broke the kiss reluctantly after a few minutes. “We should get back.” Kagome said. She let go of InuYasha and tried to walk away, but InuYasha grabbed her arm. “Wait you never answered me.” he said pulling her into his arms again. “What did you see in Yoshiko’s eyes?” he asked leaning in for a soft kiss. “I saw you kissing me. A little like this.” Kagome said kissing him the same way she had seen, passionately. She leaned into it knowing that this was the exact thing she had seen. It was wonderful. ‘If I die tomorrow I will die happy’ they thought at the same time. Then hesitantly he pulled away. The scent she was giving off was driving him insane though. “Now I think I know what was wrong. Well, I guess we should get back to camp, but first.” he said kissing her sweetly and intensified it more and more. After a few precious moments they let go and went back to camp.

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