Chapter 10 - Changes

Changes Yoshiko snapped out of the vision and found that she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes bulged. She tried hard to suck in air, but couldn’t. She tried to breath in through her nose, but she couldn’t get any air. She was suffocating. Her head fell back against the door post. Sesshomaru was trying to figure out what was happening. He shifted her head so he could see her face. Her mouth was wide open, but she wasn’t breathing. He didn’t know what to do. She was dieing right in front of him and he didn’t know how to save her. Her eyes were closed now. He did the last thing he could think of. He kissed her. He breathed in and out trying to help her. It took a couple of tries, but she finally started to breath. Sesshomaru pulled back wanting her to breath on her own. She was breathing deeply now, taking in all she could. Sesshomaru moved down so their faces were at the same level. He was slightly panting from the shock and helping her breath. It was too much for Yoshiko. She rested her head on his chest. She could hear his breathing and his heartbeat. It relaxed her. “What.. happened?” Sesshomaru panted out. He looked down at her head. “Yoshiko?” She didn’t know what to say. It had been the most realistic vision ever. It had hurt her deeply to see Sesshomaru like that. “Sesshomaru... I don’t… I can’t talk about it.” Yoshi replied with tears starting to stream down cheeks. He moved back to look at her face when he smelt the mix of salt and water. Once he saw it he pulled her back into a strong embrace. He couldn’t bare to see her like that with tears in her eyes and falling from her face. He didn’t ask anymore questions. The sun was fully up now. They could hear Kagome and InuYasha start to wake up. “I should go.” Sesshomaru said pulling away. He looked into her eyes and wished that that moment could last forever. He wished it could just be him and her for eternity, no one else to bother them. Then he remembered Rin and decided against that wish. “Are you going to be ok?” he asked wanting her to say that she needed him to stay. “I’ll be fine. I was just shocked and a little scared.” she said still uneasy. Sesshomaru bent down and kissed her good-bye. She fell into the kiss, loving every second of it. He slowly pulled away. When they had completely separated he swiftly kissed her head and hand as he had the day he left her in Kagome’s time. He walked away slowly not turning away until he reached the woods. Yoshi sigh with only love in her heart. ‘I need to stop this. If I don’t make him change his mind I’ll hurt him by dieing. I have to do something and avoid him. I should still look in the mirror though.’ Yoshi thought as everyone started to wake up. “Good morning everyone.” Yoshi said after she knew everyone was up. “Were you up all night?” Sango asked concerned. “Yes. I couldn’t get to sleep.” Yoshiko lied. “When do you want to go back?” Kagome asked curious. “After breakfast.” Yoshi replied. It was a bit of a shock to Kagome that Yoshi would wanted to leave so soon. They had breakfast soon after that. The good-byes were less teary. Yoshiko wished she could have seen Sesshomaru again. Kagome and InuYasha decided to just say good-bye then and there. They gave each other a swift and passionate kiss. That raised a few giggles from their audience. Everyone else just hugged Yoshi and wished for her to get well soon. Little did they know that Naraku was on his way back. He was furious with Kagura and Kanna for losing Kohaku. He would be back in two months. Yoshiko could sense this even from Kagome’s time. She decided not to mention it. She would just have to work hard to get well quickly. It was one week before Yoshiko and Kagome were to return to Feudal Japan for good. Yoshiko was in the bathroom. The mirror was clouded from her just taking a hot shower. She took in a deep breath. ‘I have to do this. I’m strong enough that if I see… if I see my death then I can fight off the vision. I wont suffocate again.’ Yoshi calmed herself. She took another deep breath and wiped the mirror clean. She looked at her reflection. In her own eyes she saw pain, hurt, and Sesshomaru. She saw friends comforting her. All these things were part of her past. She needed to see the future. After a minute she saw the battle field. She saw Sesshomaru as before. And she was dead. She looked around and saw Kanna and Kagura. They were happy. They seemed…free. Naraku was dead. She tried to find a clue as to who killed Naraku and how. Then she noticed the purple glow in her hands and around her eyes. Yoshiko turned away from the mirror. ‘I die killing Naraku. I guess that it would be worth it. Miroku would be free of his wind tunnel. Sango, Kohaku, and InuYasha could get their revenge. But Sesshomaru…’ Yoshi thought. ‘I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t have feelings for me before that happens.’ The next week Kagome and Yoshiko returned for good. Everyone was shocked by her new look. Yoshiko had cut her hair to her shoulders. It was now a chestnut-brown with dark red highlights. It was curly as usual, but she left it down now. She had bangs that fell into her eyes a lot. She had new jeans on. She had a plain white long sleeve shirt under her black tank top. She had brand new clean tenor shoes. She even had a new bracelet for InuTaisho’s soul. It looked almost the same though. Either way, everyone was happy to see her. Sesshomaru wasn’t there though. Yoshi suspected that he wanted a private greeting and didn’t realize she was there. The first night Yoshiko had a hut to herself. Kagome and InuYasha shared a hut as did Miroku and Sango. Rin, Shippo, Kohaku and Kilala shared another hut. Yoshiko was fully recovered and could sense that there were two weeks before Naraku came. She stayed up half the night waiting for Sesshomaru. She knew he would be coming. She sensed him about a mile away at midnight. A few minutes later he was there. He walked in with the strangest look on his face. It was the look of lust. The look of a man in love. Yoshiko had dreamt of Sesshomaru looking at her that way, but now she had to fight the joy that was running through her veins. She had to deny her heart and him what they had always felt. It was not just selfishness anymore, but the longing to keep him from the immense pain that she feared. “Yoshiko, you’ve changed.” he said with a smile on his face as knelt down to give her a kiss. Yoshi turned away. ‘Damn. This is going to be harder than I thought’ Yoshi thought trying to make sure he couldn’t kiss her. “Sesshomaru, I thought about stuff and… I can’t be with you like that. I care about you but, it’s just I don’t love you. I’m sorry. I would still like to be friends though.” Yoshiko said afraid to look at him. He felt his heart stopped. ‘She doesn’t love me. I thought she loved me.’ Sesshomaru thought with his heart breaking. He grabbed her roughly. “What are you talking about? Why did you ever let me kiss you?” Sesshomaru shouted in her face. His demon side coming out all to well. “I never meant to and I was always weak when you kissed me.” Yoshi explained. “You kissed me back once and you never even tried to stop me the other times.” he pointed out loudly. “I’m sorry. Could you please just leave now?” Yoshi asked never wanting to see the pain she knew she had caused him. He forced her to look at him though. “Why are you afraid to love me?” Sesshomaru asked compassionately. She was surprised that he knew her so well. Yoshiko didn’t know what to say or do. He had figured her out. It made her happy that he was so intoned to her but, she wanted him to stop loving her. She just looked into his eyes. He loved her. That was obvious to the world. “I can’t tell you. And I don’t love you.” she said trying to get him to stop saying ‘love’. It was too distracting to her to know that he loved her so much. His face went cold and sad. He looked down and let go of Yoshiko. He quietly walked to the door. “Are you sure you don’t want to see me?” Sesshomaru asked over his shoulder even more obviously hurt then ever. “I want to see you, Sesshomaru. Its just I don’t love you. I would love to be your friend though.” Yoshi said trying to make him feel better. “I guess that will have to do for now.” he said regretfully to no one in particular. He left the hut after that. Yoshi fell back on to the floor. ‘I can’t believe I pulled that off. I can’t believe I just told Sesshomaru I didn’t love him.’ she thought sadly. ‘I need to get some sleep. I can deal with this stuff tomorrow and hopefully Sesshomaru will be here tomorrow as well.’ Yoshi thought as she drifted off to sleep.********Meanwhile******** Sesshomaru walked into the woods like a zombie. ‘Should I stay? She said she wanted to be my friend but, I know she is keeping something from me. Something is wrong. I liked it better when the only human I cared about wasn’t grown up and didn’t lie to me.’ Sesshomaru thought hating humans for that moment. ‘I love her. Why can’t she open up to me? I need her. Why can’t she see that?’ he thought with the image of her face that night. The night she had stopped breathing. ‘She saw something in my eyes that concerned her. Maybe I hit her for some reason? Or could I have gotten her in trouble and she got injured somehow? No. I would never let anything like that happen.’ he thought sure of himself. ‘But what if…’ he thought with the memory of the night she had yelled at him. When he had held her close and kissed her. He had pushed her too far. He might have made love to her without her wanting it. ‘Could I have gone too far? Could I have gone all the way with Yoshiko? Or even worst, raped her?’ Sesshomaru thought terrified of Yoshiko being raped the first time she had sex. He found a comfortable spot on the ground and laid his fur down. He then laid down to go to sleep. ‘I need to stay away. I need to fight my feelings and show her I would never do that to her.’ he thought positive that that was what she had seen. ‘I probably shouldn’t even kiss her for a while. I’ll just avoid getting too close to her also.’ he thought before falling asleep.***Meanwhile*** Yoshiko woke up from a terrifying dream with a gasp. She was panting. She had dreamt of that vision. ‘I don’t think I can get back to sleep.’ she thought carelessly fiddling with the soul bracelet. ‘I need to talk to someone. I feel so alone.’ The bead suddenly light the whole hut with a bright light. After a few moments the intense light faded away. ‘I forgot I haven’t talked to InuTaisho in a year. I can go to the lake and talk to him.’ she thought getting up to go to the lake. She had forgotten that once a year she could use the soul bracelet for an hour to talk to InuYasha’s father. She loved this time of the year for that reason. Yoshi knew she had to talk to him about the vision and her feelings for his eldest son. She was lost in the thoughts of what to tell InuTaisho first when she laid eyes on the lake. It was beautifully clear. She gracefully walked on the water. She was using a little of her magic not to sink in the water, but not too much. None of this was ever too tiresome. ‘I have missed him.’ she reflected as she came to a stop on the water, watching as the ripples flowed away from her. She sat crossed legged on the water’s surface. She carefully toke off the bracelet that held InuTaisho’s soul. She let the bead hang at the bottom and swirled it in the water. She started to sing an ancient song quietly to the water. Asking it to make the shape she wanted. She slowly lifted the bracelet making sure the water followed the bead. She sang out a final note before the foot tall column of water took the shape of her old friend InuTaisho. Yoshi smiled broadly. “Hello, Yoshi. Has it really been a year already?” InuTaisho’s voice came from the water. Yoshi’s smile became even brighter. He always helped her forget her worries, but he couldn’t make her completely forget them this time. “Yes, it has been a long year here. How is Izayoi?” she asked curiously while losing some of the fake smile she had put on for him. “What is wrong Yoshiko? I know you. You have something to talk to me about. You almost always do when you summon me.” he said wisely. Yoshi smiled and shook her head at her own stupidity. ‘He always knew how I felt.’ she thought sighing. “It is about a vision. I saw my death …in your son’s eyes.” she nervously said. “In who’s eyes?” he asked becoming more and more concerned for his old companion. “In Sesshomaru’s eyes. And mentioning him, I’m having trouble with him.” she said embarrassed. “He loves you doesn’t he. I always thought someone in my family would eventually fall in love with you. I would have thought InuYasha to fall for you.” he reasoned with himself. “Actually, now that you mention him, he has fallen in love with a human. She is very beautiful. She has the powers of a priestess. Her name is Kagome, but she is from the future. He seems happy and…” “Yoshiko! Stop. Enough he is happy with a human that is all I need to know and besides I know. I look in on him from time to time. So Sesshomaru is in love with you. Do you feel the same?” InuTaisho asked boldly making Yoshi blush from babbling and his forward question about her feelings for his son. “I… I do care, but…” Yoshiko quickly sensed the area around the lake for miles. Sesshomaru was asleep almost a mile away. “I love him more than you can imagine. I want to be with him so bad. He has changed for me. He is kinder. I know he changed a lot for Rin long before me, but still. He is also so handsome. Sesshomaru is wise too. He is strong and courageous in battle, but I can’t be with him.” Yoshi rambled and then suddenly came to a stop with a yell and a sigh of exhaustion. “I don’t want to lose control of myself again. I told you of when my first sweetheart died and of when you died. That is if I live to see him die. If my vision comes true I will die maybe… in at the very most a year. It will devastate him. I don’t want to put him through that.” she finished with the look of depression on her face. “Wow, you sound like Izayoi after she met me.” he stated surprised. Yoshiko gave him a questioning look. “I listened to some of her talks with you.” he answered her unspoken question. “I have no idea what to do, but it was nice to talk to you. Hell it was nice to just talk to someone about all this. I’m afraid if I tell anyone else they’ll send me home or won’t let me help fight Naraku.” “Who is Naraku?” InuTaisho asked worriedly. Yoshiko gave him a fake shameful look. “I thought you said you looked in on InuYasha. Naraku is just an enemy. He is very powerful though. If you don’t have any ideas as to what I should do then I would like to talk about something else. You’re only here for an hour and I have been rambling on about my problems for at least ten minutes.” she said with a smile. He smiled at his old friend. ‘I have missed her. I hope she doesn’t join me in the after life too soon.’ he thought bitterly. They talked constantly for the rest of InuTaisho’s time there. They talked about Izayoi and the rest of his family. He never did give her any suggestions to her problems. A few minutes before InuTaisho left a single tear fell from Yoshiko’s eyes. “Yoshi, please don’t cry. I’ll see you in another year. Tell Sesshomaru and InuYasha I love them and Izayoi misses InuYasha.” he said as the water that gave him temporary life slowly fell away. “I will.” Yoshiko replied before he was gone. Once he was no longer there she let out a heavy sigh. ‘I wonder what comes next?’ she thought as she went to her hut. She opened the door and gazed at her hut. Sesshomaru was there he was fast asleep though. He looked so peaceful. He was in the corner sitting with his back to the wall. ‘He must have come back while I was gone.’ she pondered as she gracefully and quietly walked to him. She started to feel dizzy and fell, catching herself on the wall. ‘I’m tired, but why? Oh who cares? I just need some sleep.’ Yoshiko laid down a few feet away from her true love. After half an hour of tossing and turning in the freezing cold she gave up on sleeping by herself. She slid over to Sesshomaru, curling up in his arms and immediately fell asleep.

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