Chapter 14 - Classy

Chapter 14



Authors Note: This is really my favorite chapter. I'm proud of it. Hehe. Rachel, the throwing up bit was slightly inspired by your story. But it was also inspired by me wanting to show the world beer is unhealthy so… yeah. Enjoy.





The next morning was spent throwing up over the side of the ship. Everyone had bad hangovers, and were feeling very sea sick back out at sea. Nami was in the bathroom throwing up, with Robin trying to comfort her. All the other Straw Hat pirates were lined up at the side of the ship, leaning over the rail.

“Sea sick pirates.” Sanji grumbled, pulling himself back up after throwing up. “Is there anything more pathetic?”

“It's not the sea's fault.” Usopp pointed out. “It's-” He threw up. “It's beer's fault.”

“Don't insult beer.” Zoro growled at him.

Patrick D, who was currently barfing worst of all, frowned as he came up. “I dunno what I did. I must have eating something bad…” He bent over and threw up again.

“I noticed you eating… something.” Katherine said slowly.

“Really? What?” Patrick D asked. “Tell me!”

“You bite the head off a fish.”

This made everyone bend forward and throw up.

“Oh my GOD!” Jasmine yelled.

“That's DISCUSTING!” Phillip shuddered.

“The poor fish!” Chopper cried.

“That's- That's-” Patrick F threw up again.

“Exactly.” Katherine agreed.

Luffy blinked. “I saw a headless fish on the ground some time last night. I ate it.”
“Oh, God…” Usopp threw up.

“Everyone, stop talking about eating headless fish!” Sanji yelled.

“Thank you.” Phillip mumbled.

“I feel… less woozy.” Jasmine said.

“Throwing up must be good for us.” Zoro nodded.

“Yeah, so, um, continue?” Luffy said, blinking.

And they did. For quite some time.



**



It was some time in the afternoon when everyone felt alright again. Nami and Robin drank less then the other crew members, and were feeling fine. The others still felt kind of sick, but weren't throwing up anymore.

“Hey, Zoro?” Patrick D asked, as the entire crew sat around on the deck, soaking up the last few rays of sunlight.

“Hm?”

“Well, know that you're the greatest swordsman in the world, what's you're dream?”

Zoro blinked at this question, and the others looked up. That was… well…

“Did Patrick just ask a not-stupid question?” Jasmine blinked.

“We must still be drunk.” Phillip decided.

“But a question worth answering, all the same.” Robin pointed out.

“Hm. I guess…” Zoro blinked, looking down at his sword “I- I want to maintain this position until I'm the first mate of the King of the Pirates.”

“Well said!” Luffy cheered.

“So you don't have to train anymore, then.” Katherine said with a grin. “What are you gonna do with your days?”

“Hm.” Zoro said again. “I'll just sleep. And drink. Same sorta stuff. Teach Patrick, for a bit. This'll be relaxing.” He smirked.

Sanji sighed and shook his head. “My God, you have no class.”

“What's that supposed to mean, Curly-brow?” Zoro growled.

“Exactly what I said.” Sanji glared back. “You're like some kind of drunk, sleepy …barbarian!”

“He's not!” Jasmine and Patrick D defended at the same time.

“He is. And so are most of the guys on this ship.” Nami sighed.

“Hey!” Zoro, Luffy, Usopp, Phillip, the Patricks, and Chopper cried.

“We are not!” Usopp frowned.

“Oh?” Nami said, an evil glint in her eye. “Why don't you prove it then?”

“What do you mean?” Zoro asked, raising one of his triangular eyebrows.

“I mean, we're coming pretty close to a very rich little island.” Nami explained. “And on it are some pretty nice restaurants. I bet that if we go to one, you guys will get kicked out.”

“I bet we won't!” Usopp defended.

“Yeah!” Chopper agreed.

“What are we talking about?” Luffy suddenly asked.

“Alright, then.” Nami smiled. “When we get there, Robin and I'll go get you guys some nice clothes. Then we'll all go out for diner.”



**



If there was one with that Katherine, Jasmine, Phillip, and the Patricks never believed they'd live to see, it was Zoro in a suit. But there before them, at about 8:00 that night, was Zoro, in a suit, looking uncomfortable and annoyed.

Everyone was all dressed up. Zoro wore a nice navy suit, tie and all. Sanji, who normally wore a black suit around anyway, was wearing a white suit. Even Luffy had a black suit on, as well as his straw hat, which he refused to be ride of. Usopp wore a suit too, his bandana gone, and his hair tied back. Phillip and Chopper even wore little suits and bow ties. The Patricks wore suits, but not normal ones. Patrick D wore a bright orange suit, and Patrick F wore a lime green suit. And the four girls all wore pretty dresses.

“Hahahahahahahaha Katherine's in a dress.” The Patricks laughed at the same time, pointing at her.

“Hahahahahahahaha the Patricks are in suits.” Katherine laughed back. There was a silence.

“Crap.” Patrick D muttered.

“Can't counter that.” Patrick F grumbled.

“Ha. I win.” Katherine smirked. When the entire crew was off the boat, Nami stepped forward and turned to her crew, ready to bark out instructions.

“Alright.” Nami began. “We all look the part. But we gotta act it, too. And one big thing about going to a nice restaurant is not to be alone. That looks… not right. So everyone pair up.”

At this, Jasmine was all too happy to jump over and cling to Zoro's arm. Zoro barely noticed, still fiddling with his tie.

“God. Crap cook, how do you WHERE these all the time?” He grumbled.

“It's not hard.” Sanji smirked, now having Katherine gleefully hanging off his arm. Usopp and Robin, who were standing closest to each other, also paired up. Luffy blinked uncomfortably.

“We have to pair up with girls?” He asked Nami.

“Yeah.” Nami replied.

“But- But- … girls have cooties.” He whined. Nami stared at him.

“You think I have cooties?” She blinked.

“Yes.”

“It's alright, Luffy!” Chopper said, grabbing his arm and walking him back to the ship. “I'll give you your cootie shot!”

“Really?” Luffy smiled back at him. “Thanks a bunch, Chopper!”

God knows what Chopper actually did to him. But a few minutes later, Luffy let Nami hang off his arm without as much complaining.

“Alright…” Nami eyed The Patricks, Phillip, Chopper, and Steve. “Can you guys try to look less… Alone?”

Immediately, though looking at Nami the whole time, the Patricks linked arms.

“I'll hold Chopper!” Katherine volunteered, picking Chopper up with her free arm, and cuddling him. “He's so cute!”

“Ah! No I'm not! I'm intimidating!” Chopper declared.

“… Right…” Nami blinked. “Patrick's… no. You two…” She considered her words very carefully. “Clash. The suit colors. No.” Thus, the Patrick's stepped apart. “Okay. But, that still leaves Phillip alone.”

“No I'm not! I have Steve!” Phillip corrected, hugging the cow.

“Phillip, I don't think Steve can come.” Nami said slowly.

“B-But WHY?” Phillip started up at her with huge eyes.

“Because he's a cow.” Nami replied.

“So?” Phillip demanded.

“So she has the important job of watching the ship.” Robin cut in quickly.

“Oh.” Phillip looked back at the little cow. “That okay with you, Steve?”

“Moo.” Steve replied.

“She said sure.” Chopper translated, his voice muffled against Katherine's arm. Steve trotted back to the ship.

“Alright. Phillip's alone too, then.” Nami declared.

“We could pretend he's like… your son.” Patrick F suggested.

“W- WHAT?” Phillip practically shrieked.

“That would work.” Luffy nodded.

“He looks the part.” Usopp nodded.

“SH- SHUT UP!” Phillip yelled.

“Let's just let him walk, and people can believe what they want.” Robin said, more of an order then a suggestion.

And so, the Straw Hat Pirates marched over to the 5-star restaurant. Most people on the streets were also dressed up, in suits or dresses. So, for once, they didn't stand out. Except maybe the STILL trying to make his tie more comfortable Zoro. He kept loosening his tie, and Nami kept walking back over and doing it back up. Luckily, not many people noticed their silly behavior. And soon, they were at the entrance to the restaurant Nami made the reservation at.

It was… big. And… bright. Those were the first words that came to the pirate's minds as they walked inside. It was a huge room, and everything was gold. The walls, ceiling, lights, tables, chairs, everything.

“Hm. It's almost as nice as the Baratie.” Sanji complemented. “WHOA! IT'S SO PRETTY!” Luffy cried.

“Shut up! Don't be loud!” Nami hissed, keeping a forced smile on her face.

A waiter came up to them, and led them to a long table. They all sat down, and picked up there menus, all being perfectly silent.

“… Do we have to be so quiet?” Patrick D whispered.

“Other people seem to be talking.” Usopp whispered back.

“So it must be okay.” Phillip nodded.

“… I'm hungry.” Luffy announced.

“I want beer.” Zoro complained. “OI! WAITER! GIMME-”

Nami clamped her hand over his mouth. “Don't yell!” She hissed.

Sanji was laughing quietly to himself. “You win already, Nami-swan.”

“Oh no you don't.” Zoro grumbled, slouching back in his seat. Jasmine patted his shoulder. Shortly after, a waiter came for their orders. Luffy promptly ordered three of everything on the menu.

“That way, everyone gets everything!” He smiled.

“Or YOU get everything.” Usopp muttered.

“Probably.” Jasmine agreed.

“We'll have to eat fast.” Katherine added.

By the time to food came, Luffy had started to chew on the table clothe, and had already been stopped by Nami 6 times. Of course, they DID order a lot. All the food was placed before them, after the waiters brought four other tables up to hold it all.

“Woooooooooow!” Usopp, Phillip, the Patricks, Chopper, Katherine and Jasmine all gasped, eyeing the food. Luffy had already started piling it into his mouth. The others tried to maintain what little dignity they had by putting food on their plates first.

“It's good.” Jasmine smiled.

“Very.” Katherine agreed.

The others happily ate, while Luffy began taking food from passing waiters, taking orders to other tables. They didn't seem to notice who took the food.

After some time, a timid young waiter walked up to Zoro. “Excuse me, sir?” Zoro glared back at him.

“Um, well, you see, sir, we don't allow weapons in here.” He continued.

“Oh.” Zoro blinked down at his swords.

“You brought your SWORDS?” Nami stared.

“We have to ask you to remove them, sir.” The boy finished. Zoro continued to glare at him coolly.

“You gonna make me?” Zoro asked, gripping the handle of his sword. The boy bolted.

“Well done.” Patrick D said approvingly.

“What do you mean well done? They're gonna call the marines or- or something!” Nami cried. Just then, a man came and gave Sanji the bill. His eyebrow shot up, and as soon as the man left, he stood.

“We are leaving.” He announced.

“What we haven't even paid-“ Jasmine began.

“We are leaving.” He repeated, more firmly. The other pirates quickly stood, and started to follow him to the exit. A man ran up to them.

“Hey! You haven't paid yet! You-” Sanji kneed him in the stomach, and started running. Unfortunately, the marines were at the door.

“How'd they get here so fast?!” Katherine cried.

“Gum-Gum… Slingshot!” Luffy cried, stretching both arms forward, completely ripping off his sleeves. His hands caught the top of the door. He pulled himself forward just as Patrick F and Usopp grabbed onto his feet. He flung all three of them over their heads and out the door.

Zoro pulled out his swords, and charged through, after passing one to Patrick D to use. Jasmine became half cat again, and walked lightly out on their heads. Sanji and Katherine kicked through everyone, Katherine holding Chopper tightly. Nami just sprinted past. Robin's hands were quite a distraction, and she got past easily. And Phillip made chairs, tables, and cutlery fly at them.

So, all and all, the Straw Hats got back to the Merry Go and sailed away from the island.

“Ha. We win.” Zoro grinned, getting his breath back. “We weren't kicked out. We fled.”

Sanji nodded, still breathing heavily. “You sure showed me.” He said sarcastically.

“Let's never do that again. Ever.” Katherine suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement.

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