Chapter 1 - Happiness is just an elric away

Ch 1- Dim. a random memory that always seems to repeat itself over, and over again. I can’t seem to recognize. No matter how hard I try. It’s almost as if the closer I get remembering it……It just disappears. Like a ray of light that would appear in my hands, then it’s gone. My life is just a jigsaw puzzle. There are some parts missing. Those parts that are missing, are part of me…..Part of my soul, that makes me incomplete. I can’t seem to identify the picture in my head, or the voices. It’s eating away at me ever so slowly. These voices are so clear, I can’t even began to describe the clarity of them, but they seem like they want to hurt me. Definitely not the kind I’d want to…or ever had reconciled with. I couldn’t remember….until recently. Have you ever felt like you’ve been betrayed by someone whose so close to you, you’ve known them your entire life? I have. Even after coming to accord forgiveness with him, part of me sill feels like I needed to know right away. I NEEDED to know who I was, what happened to my mother, why am I like this?? And after discovering…..I just want to forget. After I found out more about me that, was more than I ever wanted to know, I just wanted out. It hurts even worse, when someone whose life you care about more than your own…knew all along, and was hiding it from you. Ever since I was a very little girl, about the age of three everyone in the town I was living in knew that there was something wrong with me. I was the baby who never had any first words, but by the time I was five, I could speak full sentences. I was the little girl who never had any expression on her face. I was that little girl that everyone was afraid of. I remember hearing people talk about me when my mother and I would walk by people in the markets. I think they’re the voices I hear in my head, because I remember them almost as clear, as they were the day they were mentioned. I would walk by them and heard them say the most terrible things. “ there goes the mute again.”“ what have you heard about that child?”“ You don’t want to get mixed up with that little girl, have you heard the rumors about her?” “ yes I have! I heard she was a demon! That thing didn’t even cry when it was born, I also heard that she killed a little boy just recently!” Even if I didn’t have any expression in my face I was very aware of what was being said about me. It really cut my deep, but I didn’t know how to express anything back then so I continued to walk thing I had heard nothing, and how can I object to a rumor that wasn’t only a rumor….it was the truth. I had done just that. I have no control over my anger, I haven’t since I have seen able to walk. I lived in central with my father Shou tucker. Every time that name is mentioned I shutter. He made me this way. I wouldn’t have done what I did If it weren’t for that bastard. He was the reason I killed that little boy. I remember when I was three a group a boy my age came up to me. These were the boys that would hitt me, and send me home with bruises every day. One day they decided I was a witch, and they had said that witches don’t burn. They held me down and burnt my arm with a flame that danced at the end a branch. I still have the scar. That was the reason I stopped crying. They kicked me and screamed witch even though the flame DID burn me. It hurt so bad, the only thought that was pulsing through my brain was that I hated that little boy…I hated him and his friends, why am I a witch? Was it my hair? Ore my expressionless face? Why?? What made him able to decide what was wrong with me? After that my mind drew a blank and a saw a flash of red across my eyes. When I regained control of my thoughts, all that was left in front of me was a little boy turned inside-out. That was the last time I cried. I cried for that little boy. My mother cried for me. She didn’t want them to take her little girl away, but I just wanted to disappear. So that was exactly what we did. My mother and I moved, and my father stayed behind. We ran off to Resembol to live with my Grandmother. Things didn’t clear up in my life until I was five. It only got better I saw her face for the first time. The kindest face ever. My mother had met up with a very close friend of hers. A person I considered to be like a second mother to me. Her name was Trisha Elric lived with her for most of my life. My mother left when I was five to go visit “ daddy fearest”. I was very excited when I got my first letter from her. As it turned out I had a baby sister! Her name was Nina. I didn’t get to see her until I was twelve years old though. I was still very quite and Trisha understood why. Well at least I was quiet, until I saw two of the cutest faces. Edward Elric and Alphonse Elric. Heh. Those idiots. Those idiots became my best friends. It didn’t take al long to get used to me, but I always got the feeling that ed was slightly afraid of me. I remember when al and I first talked. I was moping underneath the tree like I usually would, because I didn’t want anything to do with anyone(except Trisha), when he came up to me and sat down. I really had no idea what he could’ve been thinking. It must’ve been strange sitting next to a girl who never had any expression on her face. He looked at me. I didn’t return the look but I could tell he was staring at me. Just like everyone else used to, except his face was full of a kind of light that made me feel comfortable for that first time in my life. “ umm….I’m ….” He couldn’t really find the word to say to me. I WAS a weird child I suppose. He got up and kneeled in front of me so I couldn’t help but look at him. He knew who I was, and I knew who he was. I’ve lived with them for about a week now and we still hadn’t talked. We hadn’t talked until he said something that made me feel……happy. He smiled at me and said:“ umm if you want to …would you play with me Sadie?” My head shot up, and I looked at the boy like he was delirious.“ What?”“ do you want to play with me Sadie?” I stared at him blankly. He continued to ramble on, when I just stared at him.“ well…I mean I-I understand if you don’t want to ! I I’m sorry I hope I’m not bothering you but you looked so only over here by yourself, a-a-and I thought you could use a friend-”“ what?”“….I thought you looked lonely over here….”“not that…..what did you say?”“ I thought you could use a friend?” I looked down at my feet as he stood there. I couldn’t believe this kid. Was he stupid or something? He wanted to be my friend? I don’t bring anything but trouble and pain anywhere I go……why me….even so….I t…it made me feel happy….I looked up at him again.“ you….if I play with you will promise not to hurt me?”“ hurt you? I would never hurt you….in…in fact I don’t think I could ever hurt anyone, I just want to be your friend sadie!” My face felt warm and my eyes completely light up. I stood up. My face never had any expression in it until that day. He grabbed my hand and grinned.“c’mon lets go play! I’m sure brother wants to play with you to!” I couldn’t believe it. I was so incredibly happy……I actually managed to smile.“ hey you have a pretty smile!” he said to me, and I couldn’t stop. It was so incredible, I started ……to cry.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment