Chapter 1 - A
Submitted September 1, 2004 Updated September 1, 2004 Status Incomplete | THE BEST POEM I EVER WROTE!!!******READ ASAP!
Category:
Anime/Manga |
Chapter 1 - A
Chapter 1 - A
You give me reasons to cry
Bit you always make me smile
You tell me I should try
My best once in a while
You give me so much pain
But I'll always be in love
From the core of this very earth
To the stars way up above
You tell me that you're not
As perfect as can be
And yet I'll always know
That you'll be better than me
You tell me life's a garden
And that I should dig down deep
And I always listen
But all I can do is sleep
I wish I could live up
To the life you've always had
I have no talents I can't do math
But my writing's not that bad
I feel so good
But I'm always sad
But what matters is I love you
I hope you're glad
This is the feeling
That I've always had
Bit you always make me smile
You tell me I should try
My best once in a while
You give me so much pain
But I'll always be in love
From the core of this very earth
To the stars way up above
You tell me that you're not
As perfect as can be
And yet I'll always know
That you'll be better than me
You tell me life's a garden
And that I should dig down deep
And I always listen
But all I can do is sleep
I wish I could live up
To the life you've always had
I have no talents I can't do math
But my writing's not that bad
I feel so good
But I'm always sad
But what matters is I love you
I hope you're glad
This is the feeling
That I've always had
Comments
You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment
Live_Like_You_Mean_It on January 12, 2006, 5:15:15 PM
Living_Dead_Girl on November 20, 2005, 4:45:20 AM
Awwww!! I love this! It is sooo sweet! The rhymes are great. *favs*minerva28 on August 27, 2005, 8:24:37 PM
minerva28 on
nice poem!Like thr ryhm
I write poems like that too!
Hmm.. but if u really wanna twist a persons imagination u shud use words that can be felt,seen,smell and etc. that way a person cud really picture ur poem out.Like love for example ur just reading it nothing really pops out of a persons brain ^^
My english teacher made us attend a 3 day seminar on how to write a poem. That was the main idea i think during the seminar ever since then i did really improve ^^ sure he commented my poems in a nasty way but it sure helped me realize my mistakes.
hoped it help!
Oh and please use stanzas ^^ please and thank u ^^
_Sai_ on August 25, 2005, 9:56:02 PM
_Sai_ on
Woooooooooow.......Wow that's just perfect!
*Fave*
soalone1000 on August 19, 2005, 6:30:14 AM
soalone1000 on
good good good good good good good good good!!!!!!!!!!i love it!!!!!especially about the stars. it's sooo cute!Genjo_Shyazo on July 30, 2005, 5:30:14 PM
Genjo_Shyazo on
That's a really good poem^^ *favs*LizzardQueeng on July 7, 2005, 11:33:43 PM
*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^
*faves* you're so good^^ nice and Melancholic...
aquajogger on June 30, 2005, 1:28:51 PM
aquajogger on
Very cute. ^_^I'm not flaming you, but there are a couple lines where the rythym gets a bit thrown off. Umm... "That you'll be better than me", "But all I can do is sleep", and "I hope you're glad".
It's really nothing big, and I know that not all of the lines are the same length, I just thought I'd point those out.
I like it, though. It's sweet, in a sad way. Very nice work! d^_^b
Hyper_Freak on May 17, 2005, 6:11:31 AM
Hyper_Freak on
THAT POEM F**KING SUCKED! No, kidding. That was a truly inspiring poem, and if you really beleive your writing is only "Not Bad", then I want some of what you've been smoking.BlizzardComics on May 9, 2005, 11:45:59 AM
I was actually inspired to write this because of two comic book characters from the Blizzard Comics series, The School of Hard Knocks.It's a sad story-but it's funny too.It's a really coolio comedy/fantasy/romance^^yup, yup
87mazy on April 25, 2005, 1:48:56 AM
87mazy on
that is......beautiful a wonderful poem!One question,what inspired you?wolf_alchemist on April 23, 2005, 5:22:55 AM
its so touching......it made me cry......Keep up the good work! ILoveAang on April 16, 2005, 9:25:41 AM
ILoveAang on
OMG THAT POEM WAS SO F@#%*$ AWESOME i added it to my favorites list on my profile!!!Rikus_Lover_MINE on February 25, 2005, 11:39:34 AM
wow....simply....wow O.O
blue_dragon35 on October 16, 2004, 12:20:33 PM
AWESOME-NESS!*faves*xXxYINGYANGxXx on October 8, 2004, 3:57:45 AM
thats soooooo beatuful. so romantic and yet soo sad. well done ladykagome on September 6, 2004, 10:03:17 PM
ladykagome on
THIS IS THE GREATEST POEM I EVER HEARD!!Inu-Tasha on September 2, 2004, 6:57:23 AM
Inu-Tasha on
GOOD JHOB! AGAIN!neko_chan123 on September 2, 2004, 5:42:58 AM
neko_chan123 on
I usually don't like poems, but this is very nice. Keep up the good work ^_^sunflower_hedgehog on September 1, 2004, 8:49:48 PM
good!!! i like it!BloodySunAngel on September 1, 2004, 4:24:09 PM
holy funnel monkey shoot!that's like a sonnet. only better!
*favorites*
it is physically impossible not to love this poem!
Make the lines of your poem seperate to each other, and then I'll marvel at your work ;)
(if you don't understand, e.g.
You give me reasons to cry,
Bit you always make me smile,
You tell me I should try,)