Chapter 3 - Bliss Is A Fear That It Will End

~HPOV~
 
          *GASP* I sprung up from my bed and held my heart. It wasracing too fast. It was another bad dream. This one was about my last time Isaw my foster parents. His eyes…my foster dad’s eyes.After that he swore to never see me again… These memories are starting to hauntmy sleep.
 
          What time is it? I rolled over and looked at my clock nextto the bed. “9:00…Hmmm I think Ben’s Still up orshould be. Maybe I could crash there tonight.” I got up, put a shirt on andpicked up the phone and called Ben.
 
          “Hello?”
          “Hey Ben…I had another nightmare. Can’tsleep, so I wanted to know if I could crash there. I’ve got a lot ofthings on my mind lately.”
          “Sure, I have some company though. Hope you don’t mind.”
          “Cool. I’ll come over in about 30 minuets? K with you?”
          “Yeah, that’s fine. Bring your own blankets though. I haveto use the others for my guest.”
          “K, later.”
          “Bye” *click*
 
          Weird. It’s not like Ben to havecompany over. I wonder who it is. I hope his friend is cool with me comingover.
 
          I looked in the mirror at myself and decided I lookeddecent so I got my blankets and got something to eat. Some captain crunch I wassick of it but nothing tasted better to me right now. Out of no where I juststarted thinking about that girl again. It started to bug me. If I didn’t seethis girl again I think I would die from lack of thought. She took up my time.
 
          Trying to get her off my mind I turned on the T.V. andwatched some weird game show. As soon as this was over I would go over and tellhim about that girl. Maybe talking about her would get her off my mind. Tillthen, T.V. was my savoir.
 
~TPOV~
 
        “Ben,your so funny!” I was laughing for the past hour overBen’s jokes and humor. We were sitting on the front room floor and talking. Itold him earlier what had happened to me and he promised I could stay as longas I wished. I thanked him endlessly and told him how much that meant to me. Ivaguely got some info on Haelo. But I didn’t talk toolong on the subject so as to avoid questioning.
 
        “You’vesaid that so many times!” He laughed and I just stared at him and smiled. “Whatis it?” He was puzzeled and confused by my stare.
 
        “Nothing. I still can’t belive I’min here right now. I would’ve never guessed before something so perfect wouldhappen.” I fell back on the floor and laughed happily. I was free right now.Nobody would smack me for joking or telling them my opinion. Nobody was goingto force me to love them. Just one look at Ben and you would know he wouldnever do anything rude or vulgar. He was so sincere.
 
        “I’llgo set up your bed k? Oh yeah, we’re going to have some company.” He smiled atme and walked toward his room.
        “Whois it? Some friends? Family?”Seeing some of his friends would be cool. Even if they were remotely like BenI’m sure I would fall in love with who they are.
        “Oh, just some family. I like to have family over often so Ihope it doesn’t bother you.” He shouted from the other room.
        “Noproblem! I would love to meet some of your family!” Ben just laughed.
        “I’msure you would.” He laughed coyly. I never really thought he meant anything byit. So I just overlooked what he said. “Tear? Do you sleep with 2 pillows orone?”
        “Idon’t mind!” Again, I was stunned by all the respect and hospitality he hadshown me. I felt like a princess.
        “Ok!I put down a air mattress and blankets with pillows bymy bed so if you need something you can just wake me up ok?” He said walkingback to the room.
        Iblushed. “Uh…I won’t do that.”
        “Don’tworry about it! I won’t be able to sleep knowing you might need someone. Sopromise you will?” He spoke freely over something so hard for most guys to say.
        “I…uh…Iguess I promise in that case!” He took my hand and helped me up.
        “Wanna watch a movie in my room? I have a huge collection orwe could watch PPV!” He was still holding on to my hand. I looked away for amoment. “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” He quckly slipped his hand away from mine.
        “It’sokay. Lets go see what there is to watch! ~^_^~”
 
        HeDID have a huge collection of movies! It was amazing. All in alphabetical ordertoo! I quickly picked out one of my favorites and he popped it in the DVDplayer.
        “Hey Ben?” Uh oh I forgot something.
        “Yeah? What cha need?
        “CouldI take a uh…”
        “Youneed to clean up? Sure the towels are in the bathroom. Right is cold and hot isleft. Take as long as you like.” He pointed towards the bathroom. I walkedtoward it and turned around. He changed it to T.V. so that we could watch themovie later.
        Icouldn’t belive it. I’ve never known a guy who didn’tmake rude comments about me getting naked or coming in with me. Nick and all ofhis friends made taking a shower a chore. I avoided getting naked as much aspossible.
        “Doyou have a t-shirt and some pajama pants I could wear?” I asked quickly stilltrying to avoid feeling awkward.
        Heblushed and nodded. He got up and got come clothes for me to wear. “Here you go.Their gonna be big though…”Handing them to me I thanked him and started my shower.
         The only thing I was scared of was this dreamending. I would never go back with Nick…not alive. Iwould kill myself anyway possible before dying by his ownhand. The warm water running down my body never felt so good in my whole life.The smell of my early puke was coming off. My hair that was all knotted up anddirty was getting cleansed and coming back to it’soriginal color blue.
 
        Iclosed my eyes and tilted my head back. My problems were being washed away.With every drop falling to the shower floor was ever tear I had shed today.Except, I don’t think I could shower that long enough to equal the same amount.
 
        Today…rightnow in this moment… if I died it would be with a smile on my face for finallyfeeling love. For finally being me and me alone. To not be scared even if only for a millisecond. Somedaythis angel who I had found, and his family, would know who I was.  I would get a little bit of paradise withevery glance he threw my way. Just once more…I must see him again. Till thenhis cousin, his blood, would take me in his care…
       
 
         
 
 

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