Chapter 11 - So Much Like'er

~HPOV~~HPOV~
         
 
          Right then and thereI couldn’t see Tear anymore. My mind was playing tricks on me… All I saw was Sasuka sitting there holding my head in her arms. Over andover she asked me the same question… “Who do I remind you of Haelo?” There was a sadness in methat swallowed me to the core. Seeing her there, and knowing she wasn’t. But Iwanted to believe it so bad. The same notion kept ringing in my ears… ‘This is her! She’s RIGHT HERE!’ [/i] I was loosing my sanity all at once…
 
~TPOV~
 
       What was wrong? He was crying so hardnow. Staring at me with such a depression in his eyes, so numb and blank… “Haelo! Are you okay! Haelo, your scaring me! Answer me!” Yet he just stared atme with an endless stream of tears. After a few moments of silence he clung tome tight and whispered something into my ear.
 
       “Sasuka… Whywould you do this to me? I tried so hard… But I was so weak. I dropped you… Youdied before I could get to you… Your d*** father… I’ll kill him someday Ipromise…” My eyes went from closed to opened and in a state of shock with hislast word. And I myself started to cry… But in my surprise Haelodropped from his firm clutch and was on the floor.
 
       “HAELO!” Iquickly put my head to his chest and my hand over his mouth. His heart wasbeating and he was breathing but he was out cold. What would I do? I had noexperience on this except the fact that I[/i]had passed out several times before. Did he have a heart attack? Was something seriouslywrong with Haelo? Someone knocked on the door and Iran to it keeping a close eye on him. I hesitated in opening it but I heard Benon the other side…
 
       “Haelo!You in there! Is Tear in there as well? I can’t findher! C’mon man, just open the door, I’m worried she’sgone!” I swung the door open and Ben immediately wrapped his arms around me.“You’re here! For a moment… I thought…”
 
       All sence cameback to me, Ben’s hug had knocked me out of balance.My mind exploded with anticipation. “Help me Ben! Haelopassed out!” Ben looked up from my shoulder and let go of me as he hurried offto Haelo’s side. A moment passed, Ben had picked up Haelo and carried to his room to sleep for a while.  “Is he okay?”
 
       “Yeah he’s alright… he… does thissometimes…he probably didn’t take his medicine that’s all…” Ben passed me andsat down on the black leather couch with a loud sigh.
 
       “You mean he does this often?[/i]” I walked over and sat besidehim. “What is his medicine for?” He stared into my eyes for a moment searchingfor the right words.
 
       “Tear… Haelohas severe depression over something that happened a few years ago. It got sobad that he would’ve killed himself if I wasn’t there to stop him.”
 
       “The last few moments he was awake he wascrying and saying things I didn’t quite understand. I was so scared I didn’tknow what to do! He completely broke down!” I was distressed and saying it witha tired tone.
      
       “What- what did he tell you?” Ben put hishand on mine and left it there for comfort.
 
“…before he passed out he said something like agirls name… Sasuka. Does that have to do with his depression?”
 
       “Did he tell you anything else?” Ben wasstaring at me intently, as if this was big news to him.
 
       “Yeah…uh, he said that he dropped her andthat she died before he got to her. Also that he wanted to kill her father.What happened?”
 
       Ben sighed and ruffled his hair. “As Isaid before… Haelo loved a girl before you. Her namewas Sasuka… He met her one day after a concert. Hewas so distressed because of something a girl said to him that he decided to goto this beautiful park that he loved to calm down. When he went there hediscovered a girl with long wavy purple hair sitting on a swing. She didn’teven acknowledge his existence, or know he was there. Haelobecame so intrigued with this girl that he came to that park every night andshe’d always be there sitting on that swing… One day, she told him what waswrong after Haelo had finally persuaded her to tellhim. Her dad beat her…” I covered my mouth and gasped.
 
“She went to that park because he drank everynight and she tried to avoid him by leaving. Though sometimes she couldn’t getaway and would come to the park with bruises and scratches… But not once didshe not show up, only late. And Haelo never left. Healways waited there for her because he knew what was wrong. He knew that if hewaited long enough… Sasuka would be there, in need ofcomfort, lost and dead inside. Many times she would refuse his help, and shenever told him her last name or where she lived. She was too scared of what herdad could do to him… Haelo fell madly in love withher and began to write songs about her and she became the highlight of ourshows. The other 2 band members became fed up with only playing songs Haelo wanted to be played and sang that they left. Yet Haelo kept writing and singing… He would sing them to herevery night he wrote a new one. She loved them… and fell in love with him aswell. One day, Sasuka was exceptionally late. And Haelo became worried. Just as he was about to search forher, she came in through the trees with a sad smile on. Nothing seemed wronguntil he asked her what was wrong and she broke down sobbing and crying.” Myeyes were watering up already… somehow I knew where this story was going toend…
 
“She told him that her father figured out whyshe was gone every night because he followed her into the park unseen. Hebecame so angry that he threatened to kill him. She decided that she couldn’tlet that happen and escaped, ran off to the park to warn Haelo,and said she was to be killed as well as him if they ran off. There was nothingthat they could really do, because if they stayed there long enough… her dadwould kill them both anyway. Haelo got desperate andcarried her as he ran aimlessly as fast as he could in hope of safety. It was avain attempt to save a life, but as I said. There was nothing he could do. Soit started to rain and out of nowhere somebody shot Haeloin the shoulder.”
 
“No! No, no, no, no, no NO!”I cried harder and harder as the story went on… and Ben raised his voice sothat I could hear him.
 
“The pain caused Haeloto drop her, and since he was running so fast when he attempted to turn aroundin a split second on the wet street…   hefell and it took him too long to reach her. When he was in arms reach of herbody someone shot her and she fell into his arms. They shot her 3 times beforeresting. And Haelo reached her on the 3rdshot. She was in peace but the last words haunted Haeloforever. She told him it was better that way… That she loved him!” I wasshaking hard now and Ben hugged me.
 
“Why! Why didn’t she go to someone for helpbefore! She KNEW he loved her! But she brought this on them!” I couldn’t helpit… I was so angry at her for doing that to him… Though I related to her in thetruest sense… I was more angry for him falling in lovewith a girl that was close in background as Sasuka.There was nothing I could do but remind him of her. But he didn’t know mybackground did he? So what will he do when he tellsher?
 
“Tear! She was close to suicide and didn’tbelieve anything could help! Haelo begged hereveryday!” I reached over and hit the lamp on the stand next to the couch sothat it fell to the ground and shattered.
 
“NO! This didn’t happen! YourLYING!” He couldn’t love me because I was like someone else! NO! I wouldn’tallow! I would only cause him more pain in his life because every moment he’dbe with me he’d remember her!
 
“Stop it Tear.” Ben reached over and graspedboth of my hands. I was angry and struggled to get free but he pulled me closerto him and kissed me passionately on the lips. His anger, love, and confusionall poured out of him. All his years of taking care of Haelo’s sickness and sorrow. Hisanger of me not loving him… I could feel it. It scared me because Iwanted him too… But I couldn’t do that! Not to Haelowhen he needed me most. So many things ran through my mind in 30 seconds ofthat kiss. ‘You love him! You REALLY LOVEHIM! Haelo cant even HOLD ONto a relationship with a girl right now!’ ‘Haeloneeds me now! This is wrong!’ ‘You want him and he wants you! He took CARE ofyou!’ ‘Sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for what someone elseNEEDS!’ ‘Haelo doesn’t need you!’ ‘…yes he does.’ ‘D*** IT! Quit ARGUING WITH ME!’ ‘NO! I WILL DO WHAT I NEEDTO DO WEITHER I WANT TO OR NOT!’ [/i]
 [/i]
Ben let go and I smacked him across the face. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! YOU KNOW HE NEEDS ME RIGHT NOW ANDYOU TRY TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM HIM! STOP IT BEN!”
 
“NO! IT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT! I CANT HELPIT ANYMORE! I CANT DO WHAT I SAID AND I’M SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU!” I smacked himagain and looked at my hand in horror for what I had done.
 
“I’m sorry Ben…” I ran into Haelo’sroom and locked the door. I turned around and Haelowas standing there, with a hurt expression on his face. He was still crying butit wasn’t as bad as before. “Haelo…” A weary tonelingered in my voice. So much in a few hours… And the day just started. Hewalked over to me and placed his hands on my arms and shook me as he spoke.
 
“I heard it all… if you want Ben… you can go tohim. I wouldn’t stop you from that… I don’t need your pity Tear! Love him ifyou love him! Don’t let me stop you…” I pushed away from him and tears ran downmy face as I my frustration built up once more.
 
“No! I want you! I wanted you from the 1sttime I saw you and I want you now! Don’t push me away after I just pushed Benaway for you! I. CANT. HANDLE. THIS.” Once again his lips were on mine before Iknew it. I kissed him back with a strong pressure in my lips that let out mydistress and love. He did the same and this time… I felt passion in the kiss.
 
“Tear…” He peered into my eyes as we split apartand held my face in his hands.
 
“I want to tell you… everything.” All my past all my sorrow… I don’t care if he saw me as Sasuka! I want him to see more in depth of what Sasuka went through in my words. In mypast, in my memories. Haelo would be able topretend that she was here! I don’t care if he went crazy or not! As long as itwas me he loved and no other girl! 
       [/i]

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