Chapter 1 - Elvira Mulch
Submitted July 24, 2010 Updated July 24, 2010 Status Complete | This is a Wizard of Oz parody that features a wacky mascot.
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Fantasy » Characters » Witches, wizards |
Chapter 1 - Elvira Mulch
Chapter 1 - Elvira Mulch
(This part of the sketch is in black & white)
The bike riding theme song is heard as a woman riding a bicycle heads
to a farm. She spots Uncle Chuck painting the fence.
CHUCK: Howdy, Miss Mulch!
MISS MULCH: Chuck, I want to see you & your wife right away about
Larry!
CHUCK: Well what has Larry done?
MISS MULCH: What's he done? It's all the blame for the bruise on my
leg!
CHUCK: You mean his cat kicked him?
MISS MULCH: No, Larry.
CHUCK: Oh, he kicked his cat, eh?
(shuts fence door on her)
MISS MULCH: No.
Inside the farm house we find Chuck, Sophia & Larry listen as Miss
Mulch talks.
MISS MULCH: That boy is a menace to the comminuity! I'm taking him
to the sheriff to have him sent to jail! He won't pass go, he won't
collect $200!
SOPHIA: What did he do this time?
MISS MULCH: He started acting up like Curly after seeing a woman
winning $10,000 on the Grand Game! Then he threw a tantrum when two
ladies found the $5,000 on Supermarket Sweep. Then he went stir
crazy when a lady started the Ford Mustang Convertible on Just Men!
CHUCK: That show isn't even on anymore!
MISS MULCH: I got it on vcr tape! If you don't control that nephew
of yours, I'll have him destroyed!
LARRY: (Crying) You musn't, you won't let her will you Uncle Chuck?
CHUCK: Ask Sophia.
LARRY: Oh Aunt Sophia, I didn't mean to get Miss Mulch, but she
hates male contestants! She even destroyed every Pro-Fan episode.
You can send me to bed without supper.
MISS MULCH: Begging for mercy makes me very angry! Very angry
indeed!
CHUCK: You sound like Marvin the Martian.
MISS MULCH: Shut up! Here's the sheriff's order allowing for me to
make a citizen's arrest! Unless you want to go against the law.
She hands the notice to Chuck & Sophia.
SOPHIA: I'm afraid we can't go against the law, Larry.
MISS MULCH: Now you're seeing reason. Gimme your hand, Larry!
Miss Mulch slaps handcuffs on Larry.
LARRY: Don't take me away I beg of you or I'll sprain your ankle.
You wicked old witch! You're nothing but a game show witch! (crying)
The police enters & escorts Larry out of the farm. As they left,
Sophia tells Miss Mulch.
SOPHIA: Elvira Mulch, just because you own 1/2 the county doesn't
mean you have the power to run the rest of us. For 23 years, I've
been dying to tell you something, well (gives her the finger).
As the police squad car drives over to the station, a cyclone hits
along U.S. 50.
POLICEMAN: A twister, a twister!
The policemen evacuated the car leaving Larry still cuffed & helpless
in the cyclone! The cyclone carries the police car over & minutes
later, Larry finds out.
LARRY: I must be in the cyclone!
He finds chickens & cows in the cyclone as well as a grandmother
doing needlework in her rocking chair & two guys in a row boat. Then
he hears the bicycle theme music & sees...
LARRY: Miss Mulch!
Miss Mulch is on her bicycle & suddenly turns into The Game Show
Witch, riding her broom!
(CACKLING)
The bike riding theme song is heard as a woman riding a bicycle heads
to a farm. She spots Uncle Chuck painting the fence.
CHUCK: Howdy, Miss Mulch!
MISS MULCH: Chuck, I want to see you & your wife right away about
Larry!
CHUCK: Well what has Larry done?
MISS MULCH: What's he done? It's all the blame for the bruise on my
leg!
CHUCK: You mean his cat kicked him?
MISS MULCH: No, Larry.
CHUCK: Oh, he kicked his cat, eh?
(shuts fence door on her)
MISS MULCH: No.
Inside the farm house we find Chuck, Sophia & Larry listen as Miss
Mulch talks.
MISS MULCH: That boy is a menace to the comminuity! I'm taking him
to the sheriff to have him sent to jail! He won't pass go, he won't
collect $200!
SOPHIA: What did he do this time?
MISS MULCH: He started acting up like Curly after seeing a woman
winning $10,000 on the Grand Game! Then he threw a tantrum when two
ladies found the $5,000 on Supermarket Sweep. Then he went stir
crazy when a lady started the Ford Mustang Convertible on Just Men!
CHUCK: That show isn't even on anymore!
MISS MULCH: I got it on vcr tape! If you don't control that nephew
of yours, I'll have him destroyed!
LARRY: (Crying) You musn't, you won't let her will you Uncle Chuck?
CHUCK: Ask Sophia.
LARRY: Oh Aunt Sophia, I didn't mean to get Miss Mulch, but she
hates male contestants! She even destroyed every Pro-Fan episode.
You can send me to bed without supper.
MISS MULCH: Begging for mercy makes me very angry! Very angry
indeed!
CHUCK: You sound like Marvin the Martian.
MISS MULCH: Shut up! Here's the sheriff's order allowing for me to
make a citizen's arrest! Unless you want to go against the law.
She hands the notice to Chuck & Sophia.
SOPHIA: I'm afraid we can't go against the law, Larry.
MISS MULCH: Now you're seeing reason. Gimme your hand, Larry!
Miss Mulch slaps handcuffs on Larry.
LARRY: Don't take me away I beg of you or I'll sprain your ankle.
You wicked old witch! You're nothing but a game show witch! (crying)
The police enters & escorts Larry out of the farm. As they left,
Sophia tells Miss Mulch.
SOPHIA: Elvira Mulch, just because you own 1/2 the county doesn't
mean you have the power to run the rest of us. For 23 years, I've
been dying to tell you something, well (gives her the finger).
As the police squad car drives over to the station, a cyclone hits
along U.S. 50.
POLICEMAN: A twister, a twister!
The policemen evacuated the car leaving Larry still cuffed & helpless
in the cyclone! The cyclone carries the police car over & minutes
later, Larry finds out.
LARRY: I must be in the cyclone!
He finds chickens & cows in the cyclone as well as a grandmother
doing needlework in her rocking chair & two guys in a row boat. Then
he hears the bicycle theme music & sees...
LARRY: Miss Mulch!
Miss Mulch is on her bicycle & suddenly turns into The Game Show
Witch, riding her broom!
(CACKLING)
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