Chapter 1 - Agent 007 and a half: Sora

-       Plot? What plot? -
-       By Digitaldreamer –
-       Insane story one- Agent 007 and ahalf: Sora -
 
Umm…Hi guys^^;;;Yes, yes, I know, you guys want Broken Rainbow right? I –really- want to typeit, but you see, I got a new computer. Now, all of my Broken Rainbow stuff, thechapter I was working on, the plot outline, everything is on my old computer.So until I can get my stuff, the next chapter of Broken Rainbow is a no go.
 
(Auron whacksCrys over head in his customary fashion. “Of course, we wouldn’t be stuck on aseemly permanent cliffhanger if –someone- hadn’t spent her entire ungroundedsummer reading Lord of The Rings fics!” “…Oh hush..” )
 
So until then, Ifigure I’ll start my other series. What are these series? “Plot, what plot!?”Basically, it’s a collection of short little KH stories. Some of em might behumorous, some might be a bit more serious, and me being me, there will be someangsty ones. Many will star Sora, but you can bet several will star the FFcharacters, seeing as now that I’ve played some of their games I feel far moreattached to them. Hey, maybe if you all review enough I’ll make a Riku one.
 
(Auron snorts.“And perhaps I will begin to wear pink bunny ears.” “Shut up you.”)
 
So yeah, let’sbegin with the first of the craziness!
 
 
(Suggested listeningmusic would be the Mission Impossible theme XDDDD)
 
 
            The rain pattered against the cobblestonestreets of Traverse Town. Thunder boomed. Any person with any brains wasinside, unless those said brain cells had already been drowned.
 
 
            Now, Leon (Squall, some called him, before theywere murdered in an extremely painful way) Leonhart was one of those withbrains, therefore he was inside the small house, sitting in a chair, polishinghis Gunblade.
 
 
            It should be noted that the small house reallywasn’t so small anymore. He and Cid had gotten a bit drunk (To Aerith’s extremedisapproval) and they had knocked down a few walls (Which Aerith hasdisapproved of even more..) and they discovered there was a lot of empty spacethere. Cid, being the chain-smoking (Aerith disapproved of this as well) crazybuilding person that he was, decided to pretty much remodel the small house,taking all that extra space discovered during the destruction of the walls, andmaking it into various rooms. So now instead of a tiny bedroom place, they hada living room, a kitchen, and a giant upstairs with rooms for everyone. (Aerithapproved for this, which made up for all her previous disapprovals)
 
 
So anyway, Leon was polishing his gunblade, admiring its sharp pointy-ness. No man, at least back inHallow Bastion and here in Traverse Town, was a true man unless they hadsomething sharp and pointy and knew how to do some decent damage with it. Thisis why that fat guy, who stands by the door in the first distract to the thirddistract, this is why his gender is disputable, because the sharpest, pointiestthing he owns is a toothpick. This is also why that man lives in his mother’sbasement…yes, moving on.
 
 
Leon squinted at his reflection inthe blade, not quite sure it was shiny enough, when he was distracted by acrimson and blue-jeaned blur rushing past him, humming something extremelyloudly.
 
 
“Da da dun, dun dun. Da da dun, dundun..Da da DUN DUN DUN!”
 
 
The leather-clad man looked up fromhis inspection of shiny-ness, one thought passing through his mind. “What theHELL?”
 
 
He looked back to see Sora sneakingalong the wall, clad in a red hoodie and a baggy pair of blue jeans. (Hischange of outfit was due to the fact that he was one of those lacking brainswho chose to go outside.) He also wore a pair of over-sized sunglasses, and asuper soaker was clutched in his hands, and was humming the mission-impossibletheme so loudly whatever type of stealth he was attempting was failingmiserably.
 
 
“Da da dun, dun dun. Da da dun, dunda dun dun…”
 
 
It was then that Yuffie chose towalk out of the kitchen, passing the fourteen-year old, whom let out a gasp andpressed himself against the wall.
 
 
“Da da DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNDUN DUN…”
 
 
The female ninja raised a brow asshe stopped and stared at him. “..Sora? The hell?”
 
“GAH! I’VE BEEN SPOTTED! ABORT MISSION!” Sora promptly pointed his weapon at the girl and shot her in the face with ablast of icy water.
 
 
“ACK!” Yuffie sputtered, attemptingto shield her face with her hands. The Keyblade Master took this chance andbolted back up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.
 
 
Leon blinked, rising from his seatand setting down his weapon as he walked over to the soaked ninja.
 
 
“That little….when I gethim..grrr…” Yuffie muttered, shaking her head in an attempt to get it dry.
 
 
“What was that all about?” Leon inquired, raising a brow.
 
 
The ninja sighed, turning to him.“He’s been like this all day, insane.”
 
 
“…what’d he eat?”
 
 
“One of Cids ‘cookies’.”
 
 
“…..aw shoot.” Oh yes, Leon recalled the last time anyone besides Cid had eaten what the veteran pilot called‘food’. The dreaded “Noodle incident”, as they referred to it, was somethingthat would haunt Leon’s mind for the rest of his days…
 
 
“I just don’t get it, Cid eats themand he’s fine.”
 
 
“He’s been eating them his entirelife, he’s immune to it.”
 
 
“I see. Well, either way, we’vemanaged to prevent any serious damage…but..Aerith made cookies too. I reallydon’t want to see the results of that much sugar combined with the effects ofCid’s ‘cooking’.”
            Leon considered the scene for a moment. Thehouse in flames, bodies everywhere, spray paint on the wall…….noodles….heshuddered.
 
 
“You’re right, we have to keep Soraaway from those cookies, no matter what.”
 
 
 
 
Sora pressed himself against hisdoor, eavesdropping upon Yuffie and Leon’s conversation. He whipped out a taperecorder and turned it on, and began to speak into it.
 
 
“This is Agent 007 and a half,Sora. I escaped, but they know I’m here now. They’re sending enemy agents afterme. I’ll have to be more careful. But I have no time to worry for my ownsafety. Operation: Get Cookie will prevail!”
 
 
With this said, Sora thrust openthe door, Super Soaker in hand, and dove across the hallway into the opendoorway to Yuffies room. Just as he entered, Leon turned around, unknowinglyjust missing view of Agent 007 and a half.
 
 
“Yuffie, his door’s open! GO!” Bothof the enemy agents surged into what they didn’t know was an enemy room.
 
 
Agent 007 and a halfsmirked. “The agents fell for it…” He whispered into the tape recorder. “I’mheading down!”
 
 
He sped out of the room and jumpedonto the banister of the stairs, sliding down it, humming the missionimpossible theme quietly. He landed with a soft thump, wincing at the sound.Sora jumped back, throwing open a closet door and stuffing himself inside itand shutting it just as Yuffie came down the stairs.
 
 
“…he’s not down here Squall!” Agent007 and a half heard the enemy agent call up the stairs to her partner. Heallowed himself to grin, in spite of being smushed against the vacuum cleanerand a broom.
 
The agent eased open the closet,looking back and forth, and then darted across the hallway to a wall. Pressinghimself against the green striped wallpaper, he began to creep along the wall,towards the room where his target was held.
 
Sora peeked his head around theframe of the kitchen and beheld his goal within sight! A tray of freshly bakedchocolate chip cookies, sitting on the table, cooling. Agent 007 and a halfsmirked, holding the tape recorder to his mouth. “Target in sight. Appears tobe freshly baked, chocolate chip, and delicious. I’m going in!”
 
The Keyblade Master threw himselfupon the ground and began to army crawl over the linoleum floor, inching slowlytowards the kitchen table in the center of the room. Closer….closer……..almostthere….
 
 
Sora sprang to his feet, his grinwidening, he reached his hand down for one of the chocolate chip spheres ofwonder….
 
 
There was a shuffling sound and afeminine hand tapped Sora on the shoulder. Agent 007 and a half winced.
 
 
“Ahem….Sora, I do believe we madeit clear you weren’t to have any of these yet?”
 
The Keyblade Master turned,expression stony. He was silent.
 
Aerith beamed at him. “Come onSora, you can have a cookie later.” She persuaded gently.
 
 
“AGENT SCUM!” Sora shrieked. “TASTETHE WRATH OF MY HIGH TECH SPY GEAR OF DOOM!” With that, Sora squirted theflower girl with his super soaker, grabbed the entire tray of cookies and ranfor it.
 
 
Aerith gave a small cry ofsurprise, then yelled out “Leon! Yuffie! Now!”
 
 
Both Yuffie and Leon jumped intothe kitchen, armed with supersoakers of their own. Sora skidded to a stop.
 
 
“So….think you have me, eh?” Soragrinned. “Wrong! No one defeats Agent 007 and a half!! If I can’t havethe cookies, neither can you!” He dropped the tray of cookies, and pointed thesuper soaker at the cookies. SPLOOOOSSSHHH! He emptied all of the remainingwater onto the cookies. “What do you say to that?”
 
 
Leon and Yuffie looked at eachother. Yuffie grinned. “Time to die Agent 007 and a half!!” She cried,pumping her own super soaker and hitting Sora squarely in the chest.
 
“GAAAHHH!” Sora fell to his knees.“I’VE BEEN HIT! EVERYTHING IS GOING DARK…gaaahhhh..” He flopped over in themanner of a fish out of water and twitched.
 
Agent 007 and a half: Sora
Mission: Get cookie.
Satus: Failed.
 
 
 
The End
 
            Heh. So whatcha guys think? Review! I’ll takesuggestions for future craziness!
 
            (Crys walks off, humming Mission Impossibletheme)
 
-D i g i t a l d re a m e r -
 
 
 
 
 
           
 
 
 
 

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