Chapter 3 - Shopping Ninja

-      P L O T  W H A T  P L O T?-
-By: Digitaldreamer-
-Plotless junk number three: ShoppingNinja-
 
      Psshttt. And you all thoughtyou were actually going to get a Broken Rainbow chapter this week.
 
      (Auron rolls his eyes. “Perhapsit would be wise to stop taunting your readers.” Crys chuckles. “Oh hush, it’snot like they can hurt me.” “…fine, when they show up on your doorstep to killyou, don’t blame me.”)
 
      On the bright BR side, Idrew pictures of the outfits Sora and Kairi are going to wear for the remainderof BR. Take a look!
 
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/11671591/There’s Sora
 
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/11671649/There’s Kairi.
 
      Sooo…um...this one starsYuffie and Leon^^ Hope you guys like it!
 
 
Squall Leonhart never wanted to goon another shopping trip again. Never again. He would never step foot inanother shop ever again for the rest of his life. He would rather have hisGunblade broken into pieces, the Heartless take over, and be forced to sitthrough “Garfield: The Movie” for the rest of eternity with his eyes taped openthen go shopping again after this experience.
 
 
Oh, it had started out simplyenough. He had been having a fine day before all this. He had woke up early,gone to the secret water way and trained for a bit, then gone back to the smallhouse and eaten a small breakfast made by Aerith while polishing his Gunblade.He had been watching a special about swords on tv when Aerith had asked the questionthat as fate would have it, was destined to ruin his nice day.
 
 
“Leon, could you go to the forthdistract and get me a few things?”
 
 
The man winced, feeling his goodday crack, snap, and shatter with those fourteen small words. He could alsofeel the tiny shards of his would be good day falling around him and hittingthe floor as well as sharp pieces of the good day hitting random people andkilling them. “…um…sure…” Leon called back.
 
 
Aerith smiled as she came into theliving room, seemingly oblivious to Leon’s slightly bummed tone. Then again, Leon’s bummed tone was the same tone he used when he was happy, angry, bored, or confused,so no wonder she didn’t notice.  “Alright then, I just need you to go shoppingfor a couple things, it shouldn’t take you very l-“
 
 
She was interrupted when a green,yellow, black and skin colored blur rushed down the stairs and perched onto thecouch, taking the form of Yuffie. “Did someone say shopping!?” She askedwith the grin of someone who may or may not be high. Leon seriously wondered ifshe smoked whatever Cid was smoking, but Aerith had assured him she only atelots of sugar and drank much caffeine. He still didn’t fully believe her, maybeshe was partaking in this smoking too…it would explain her being so dang calmand nice all the time..oh wait, getting off track here.
 
 
Anyway, Aerith nodded. “Yes, Leon is going to the forth distract to get me a few things…”
 
 
Yuffie’s eyes sparkled. “Really!?”She immediately vaulted over the couch and latched onto Leon. “Oh-my-gosh-Sqaull-can-I-come-please-please-please!?” She yelled, all in one breath,into Leon’s ear.
 
 
Leon’s eye twitched. Yup, could definantlyfeel the shards of his good day coming back to stab his eyes out. “I don’tthink s-“
 
 
“Of course!” Aerith interrupted himwith a smile.
 
 
“But-“
 
 
Aerith jabbed Squall in the ribs,Yuffie didn’t notice. “Leon would love to take you with him wouldn’tyou Leon!?”
 
 
Leon gave a glare that spoke of avery painful death involving her innards getting ripped out and strewn all overthe floor. “..yeah….sure…”
 
 
Yuffie gave a squeal of delight. “Don’tworry! I’ll find everything! I’m a shopping ninja!”
 
 
Aerith cheerfully handed Leon a list of things to buy and rather forcefully shoved the disgruntled man and thesquealing girl out the door.
 
 
The shards of that good day weredefinantly determined to impale Leon and slowly torture him
 
 
 
 
The forth distract of Traverse Town was very new, only recently having been built. It was basically a large square,and at the center of that square was a very large building with neonsigns all over it that said things like “Welcome to the Traverse Town mall!” and “Brand new Mega potions! Buy one now!” and “Buy used Panties!” Wait….never mindthe last one. Anyway, many new people that came to Traverse Town set up shopsthere, meaning you could find just about anything at the mall.
 
 
Leon hated the mall with thehatred of a thousand smoldering suns.
 
 
Yuffie bounded around, lookinginto shop after shop and piling things into Leon’s arms, the man was sure halfof the items weren’t even on Aerith’s list.
 
 
“Yuffie, Aerith didn’t ask for tengallons of mountain dew!” Leon cried as she rushed past.
 
 
“Yeah I know, this is for me!”
 
 
Leon groaned. “…Why me?” It wasthen that Yuffie hauled him into a shop he never wanted to see the interior of.
 
 
“Garnet’s Girl’s Paradise.”
 
 
The man’s eyes widened as helooked around. Everything was a shade of pink, purple, yellow, lightblue or light green. There were cute kitties placed here and there, bows,pictures of girls posing in long flared jeans, flowers…..Leon shuddered.
 
 
Yuffie grinned. “I know, isn’tthis the best place ever!? Aerith and I come here all the time, it’s sogreat it just gives you the chillies!”
 
 
Leon twitched. “..Yeah….thechillies……sure…”
 
 
It was then that Leon was hauled through the nightmare that was “Yuffie clothes shopping.”
 
 
“Squall, what do you think, doesthis make me look fat?” Yuffie inquired, wearing a yellow tube top and a shortgreen skirt.
 
 
“The name is Leon..” Leon snapped through clenched teeth.
 
 
Yuffie grinned. “You’re right, it’sperfect.” She skipped back in to the changing room.
 
 
“What about this?” She asked,coming back in what you would recognize as Rikku’s outfit from FFX-2. “Does thismake me look fat?”
 
 
Leon was starting to zone out. “Huh?Yeah..sure..”
 
 
Yuffie’s eyes widened. “Are yousaying I’m fat?!”
 
 
Leon blinked. “Huh!? No!”
 
 
“You think I’m fat don’t you!?”
 
 
“No!”
 
 
“Oh my God I’m fat I can’t believeI never noticed!” Yuffie’s eyes widened, tear-filled and she ran back into thedressing-room.
 
 
Leon blinked again. “…women.” Hemuttered, shaking his head.
 
 
After spending what seemed to Leon to be a horrendous amount of money on clothes, the pair left the shop, only to enter yet anotherstore Leon really didn’t want to see.
 
 
The Lingerie Shop.
 
 
“Uh..Yuffie…” Leon mumbled, a blush creeping onto his face. “I really don’t think Aerith asked us to getthis…”
 
 
“Oh hush.” Yuffie replied, holdingup multi-colored pairs of panties. “I need more panties! Besides, these arecute!” She smiled at one pair that she held up, then frowned. “I’m not sure ifit will fit me though…” With that, she threw the other piars of panties she wasplanning on buying at Leon and ran to the dressing room. Leon caught them, blinking slightly.
 
 
It was then that a pair of teenagegirls happened to spot the leather-clad, highly muscular man standing in awomans panties aisle, holding multi-colored pairs of panties in his blackgloved hands.
 
 
“..Like…what are you doing here?”The blonde one asked.
 
 
Leon opened his mouth hurriedly toexplain but the brunette stopped him.
 
 
“Like, Oh My God, he’s probablybuying them for his girlfriend…”
 
 
“Awwww, how sweet..”
 
 
Leon’s eyes widened. “No, that’snot it-“
 
 
“Then what are you doing in a woman’spanties aisle!?” The Blonde demanded.
 
 
The brunette whispered somethinginto the blondes ear, then both girls glared at Leon.
 
 
“We won’t allow you to be in thisstore just to satisfy your underwear fetish you perv!”
 
 
The man’s eyes widened. “What!?”
 
 
“Yeah, like, Get out of here youpervert!”
 
 
“But I’m just-“
 
 
Both girls began to wave theirarms and scream thing’s like “Get out you pervert!” Their yelling attractedother girls, whom began to join in. Some began to arm themselves with pantiesand fling them at Leon. Shielding his head from the underwear, Leon did what any man would do in this situation. He ran away screaming like a little girl.
 
 
Awhile later Yuffie found Leon standing next to a fountain panting. “Oh, there you are Squall!” She said cheerfully. “Toobad you left, there were a lot of nice girls there saying they drove away somepervert with an underwear fetish, you should have seen it!”
 
Leon glared at her. The ninja,oblivious, grabbed Leon’s arm and pulled him along.
 
 
And of course, just to make Leon’s day, they had to visit yet another stop that wasn’t on Aerith’s list.
 
 
The Make-up Shop.
 
 
“Squall, what do you think, doesthis eye shadow bring out the color in my eyes?” Yuffie asked, putting on somedark eye shadow.
 
 
Leon twitched. “It’s Leon.”
 
 
Yuffie nodded. “You’re right, it’stoo dark.”
 
 
While she busied herself with thelipstick, Leon prepared to make a run for it. But as luck would have it, theteenage girls from the lingerie store were there.
 
 
“Like Oh My GAWD, it’s thepervert!” The blonde shrieked.
 
 
“Like, yeah! Let’s see if he likesMake-up as much as he likes panties!” The brunette cried, arming herself withlipstick.
 
 
Leon watched as the various womenin the shop picked up various items and began advancing on him, save forYuffie, whom was oblivious. He whimpered.
 
 
The women leapt forward with thecollective battle cry of “GET THE PERVERT!” Leon narrowly managed to escapewith smudges of dark purple lipstick covering his face, blush dumped all overhis jacket, and his eyelashes covered in mascara. He washed his face in the fountainand twitched.
 
 
“Alright, that’s it. When Yuffiecomes back, we’re leaving, and I am never going shopping everagain.” He stated darkly.
 
 
Yuffie eventually came out,make-up in a bag. “There you are!” She said cheerfully.
 
 
Leon stood up and opened hismouth, about to say they were leaving.
 
 
The ninja smiled and grabbed Leon’s arm, pulling him along. “C’mon, let’s visit the weapons shop next!”
 
 
Leon blinked. “Weapons?”
 
 
Yuffie grinned. “Yeah!”
 
 
Leon thought for a moment. I dolike sharp shiny things…
 
 
Leon decided just a bit moreshopping wouldn’t kill him.
 
 
 
Heh. I think that was prettyamusing, don’t you guys think so?
 
(Auron raises a brow. “If you evenconsider taking me shopping, I will kill you.” Crys grins evilly at him.)
 
Alright guys, read and review, andif you have any suggestions for future PWP’s, tell me!
 
- D i g i t a l d r e a m e r-
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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