Chapter 1 - Crimson Tears

Why is it that everything I love must be used against me?
What have I done to deserve this pain and misery?
Why is it that everyone marks me as the enemy?
Why do these tears of scarlet block everything I see?
No matter where I go, or who I love, the pain will follow, too,
So I just try to ignore this beast as my life goes through.
My pain has been hidden for so long, that I'm afraid to show it true.
My heart has been ripped apart, it's split right in two.
Do you want to know what Crimson Tears mean?
They're the little specks of reality that seep from between.
They weave through your pain and all your misery,
Though sometimes they always seem to take the most of me.
Though I try to hide my feelings from everyone I know,
It's impossible to makes these emotions never seem to show.
My blood has stained the tears that, from my eyes, flow,
And that is why I must speak up, I must let it go.
As you can see I've lied and covered up the secrets of my past,
But they always seem to surface when my numbness just won't last.
I've bleed and cried and suffered for a million years at that,
And although this poem is true to life, it's quite an awful task.
Crimson Tears I will shed when the angels cease to sing.
Crimson Tears I will shed when the Bells of Judgment ring.
Crimson Tears will fall when happiness goes away.
Crimson Tears will always bring me fear if I can't say.
This is mostly a story of my tragic little life,
And I hope you all didn't mind me telling what it's like.
This is why God doesn't let you see the blood of the world and winds.
He wants us all to be happy until it all comes to an end.
Now I say goodbye, and try to hold onto life,
Though one day insanity may draw me to the knife.
If my life I do take, I hereby solemnly swear,
That those who share my pain should hold onto what is theirs.
May I live life in peace and harmony,
Arsenio Chavis...8/21/04

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