Chapter 2 - 2

Clara and I became best friends, and though I was so much younger then her, she didn’t treat me as her baby brother, but as her equal. We went everywhere together, and I soon learned more about my foster family. They were trappers, hired by the state to trap deer or wolves when the populations got too high. There were no hunters allowed in the park, so Pa and Clara and I were always busy. Everyday we would go out and bring home at least three dead animals. We ate our kills every night and sent the uneaten bits and the furs up to the park office, were they cleaned out the excess meat and shipped the pelts to a tannery. I became good at locating the targeted deer and other game because of my connection with the deer species. I had outstanding senses compared to the others, and they soon grew to appreciate me.

I felt at home with Clara and Pa. They didn’t care what I did or what I looked like, which was good because I always wore the cowbell. Luckily, after the first night, they never questioned my wearing it again. Once, Clara asked if she could use it to tie around the neck of an old dog she found but I plastered my hands over it and took my head wildly. She shrugged and found an old leather strap to tie around his neck instead. The dog died several days later and I couldn’t help but feel torn. When I saw the dead thing, I stood over it, sobbing quietly and trying to push it’s face to make it get up. Clara said it was old anyway and there was no chance that it would have survived, but I couldn’t help but stay with it. It was laying in the same position my mother was when I killed her.

Apart from the dog, I never really had any deep connections with my past. A couple of times, I spotted a deer that resembled my father or mother, but I knew it wasn’t them and I really didn’t have much of a problem helping Clara and Pa kill them.

We all grew close, and I loved them and I knew they loved me back. It got to the point when I would start taking the cowbell off-but only at nights when they were fast asleep. I’d reach up and pull it off my horn and carefully set it on the floor next to the furs I slept on. It made me so comfortable, knowing that in their presence, I was me. I always told myself that I would leave it off until morning, but I always woke before dawn and slid it carefully back on. I loved them too much and I couldn’t stand the thought of them casting me out because I was different. How different I was, I didn’t know then.

I had been with the family almost seven years, when I realized, that I would start growing again soon. Clara had grown to be a beautiful young women, and I knew that when I wasn’t around, she and Pa had long discussions about why I hadn’t matured a day. My mind had grown, and I was just as smart as Pa and Clara, if not smarter, but I was still living in the body of a six year old boy. It was so frustrating. Clara and I had grown apart a bit while she brought over her older friends and I watched in silence as they talked and gossiped. She always included me but I felt so small and weak next to the muscled boys she sometimes dated. Clara had grown to be very protective of me, and every time somebody tried to make me feel inferior, she always stood up for me, slapping and kicking the person who had made the remark, and she always walked back over to be and put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “We don’t care what you look like Al. You know that right? We don’t care.”

I tired to be brave, but I had experienced so little of life that I only felt safe when I was alone with Pa and Clara or by myself. I still loved them, but they didn’t understand. They simply excepted me because that’s the way I was but I longed to be like them. I longed to remove the cowbell, to show them my horn and my ever growing powers. I longed even more to run. To travel, to run away, to find some purpose to my life. I didn’t want to leave them, but I did. It was one of the hardest times for me.

As my birthday approached though, I began to fear what Pa and Clara would do. I hadn’t changed a day since they first adopted me and on the day of my seventh birthday, I would begin to grow. I began to talk less and to exclude myself from the others, spending more time in the washroom. I often times filled up the tub and leaned over and just stared at the horned face that stared back at me. I loathed that face. It was costing me everything and there was no way to stop it from furthering the damage.

The night before my birthday, I went to the washroom and once again filled the tub with water. I removed the cowbell and gazed at my childish face.

“One more day…” I whispered.

Pa announced that it was time for dinner, and I slide the cowbell back over my horn and left the water in the tub, planning to bathe after I ate.

I walked over to the sink, washed my hands, pulled down a set of tin plates and stuck them on the table and waited quietly for Pa to bring dinner over. He set a big plate of elk meat on the table, a bowl of salad, and some fresh bread. We all bowed our heads and thanked the Lord, then reached to the center and helped ourselves to the food-at least, that’s what the others did. I picked out a few small pieces of lettuce and a bite size piece of meat and stared at them, trying to get the nerve to eat them. I felt as though I was going to vomit.

Clara watched me out of the corner of her eye for several minutes them slammed her fork on the table and crossed her arms.

“Okay, Al. What’s wrong.” she demanded.

I poked my salad with the edges of my fork. “Tomorrow’s my birthday.” I whispered.

“Yes we know that.” Pa said, not looking up form his food. “We got it taken care of.”

“I’m not sure what to expect.” I continued.

“Well you should.” Clara said surprisingly. “You’ve been here long enough to know what to expect for your birthday.” She paused, then a look of horror crossed her face. “Was there something special you wanted Al? It’s not too dark yet, and I could run to town before the stores close.”

I closed my eyes and my heart clenched. They didn’t know it was me I was worried about. They were blaming themselves.

“Well?” Clara demanded. “Anything?”

I looked up from my plate. “Can we wait until tomorrow? Then I can decide?”

Clara smiled and took my head in her arms. She cuddled it and stroked my curly hair, and I listened to the cowbell jingle.

* * * * *


Clara pulled off the animal furs covering me early the next morning and shoved a pile of gifts in my face.

“Rise and shine Al!” she screeched and she ran over to the stove to heat up a kettle of water. “Come on Al! Open them!”

Clara skipped over to the bed and flung the covers off and Pa groaned loudly. “Not time! Gonna sleep more…” Clara pushed him to the edge of the bed and began to pull his feet out so he was in a rather feeble standing position.

“Come on Pa, it’s Al’s birthday! We have to get the trapping done soon so we can celebrate!”

Pa groaned loudly but he got up and threw a pair of pants on over his night briefs. He walked over to the stove and pulled the kettle off, which was steaming. “Al, what do ya want to eat?” he asked sleepily.

I reached over and pulled the furs back over me. “I haven’t decided yet. Do you mind if I wash up and then tell you?”

Pa nodded and I gathered the furs around me and trotted into the washroom, trying to make sure they couldn’t see me. I filled the tub and looked in. I looked normal. Almost the exact same, except for I was a slight bit taller, but maybe only by a quarter of an inch. I breathed easily again and stripped my clothes off and climbed into the tub.

I was so carefree as I washed my face, hair and horn. I hadn’t changed very much and finally, I would begin to grow. As I watched, I thought about what I wanted to do for my birthday. I cleaned the cowbell in my bath water and smiled for the first time in days. Everything was going to be okay.

I finished washing and walked out to join the others. Clara glanced up at me and smiled. You look happier than you have in a long time Al. I’m glad.”

I looked shyly at the floor and smiled to myself.

“Well what do you want Al?” Pa said happily, as he tossed some bacon on a frying pan.

“Just bacon and eggs I guess. I really don’t need anything special.” I sat down in my chair and waited for Pa to bring breakfast to the table.

“Here you go Kiddo!” he said as he slapped two fat eggs and a couple of strips of bacon on my plate. “Eat up!”

Breakfast that morning had never tasted better. We all laughed and joked, and Clara kept smiling at me the way she used to when she was a child. I had returned to my normal self, and she knew it.

After we had finished eating, we packed the trapping gear in Pa’s rusty blue truck and Clara and I climbed in the back.

“What are we trapping today?” I asked.

She turned to me and smiled, smoothing out her wrinkled shirt. “Deer. We just need to kill a few bucks. There’s not enough Does to go around, and the bucks are becoming aggressive.”

I nodded and leaned back on the rear window and felt the truck jolt alone the narrow road.

Pa stopped the truck on the outskirts of the park and began grabbing gear and setting it on the ground. Clara and I got out of the car and grabbed an armful of the traps and walked to the far ends of the deer trails. I cocked my head to better hear and sniffed the crisp morning air. The deer had longtime left this area. I walked over to the trail Clara was standing at.

“What do ya think?” she asked, holding up a hand to shield the rising sun from her eyes. “Anything?”

I listened and heard distantly a soft padding on the ground. “Sounds like a buck or a large doe.” I said quietly. “Lets put one here.”

Clara opened the foot hold trap and gently laid it on the ground, while I went back to the truck and grabbed a salt block to hang in the branches of the tree. When the work was done, we went back to the truck and found Pa, who was loading his rifle.

“Got a buck or a large doe. Don’t know which.” Clara said as she dropped the extra foot hold in the truck. “He should double back here pretty soon.”

Pa instructed us to get back in the truck and he started the engine. We drove a few miles away, parked the car and set up two more traps. When Pa was satisfied, he drove back to the first trap and we all climbed out.

“Yup!” he said, studying the strong young buck struggling to free it’s foot from the trap. “He’s a hell of a fine buck!” Clara and I grinned at each other and leaned against the car as Pa brought out his rifle.

“Alright big boy. Sorry, but ya got to go.” he whispered to himself as he raised the rifle to his eye. He shot the buck in the forehead, and the great beast slumped foreword pathetically, it‘s skull deformed and oozing.

“That ought to do it.” Pa said cheerfully and he put the gun back in the truck. “You kids stay here and wrap him and I’ll go check the others.”

Pa climbed back into the truck and drove off to check the other two traps. Clara and I exchanged pleasing looks and grabbed a large tan tarp and two cords of rope. We chatted happily about what we would do later in the day to celebrate my birthday as we cleaned the blood from the buck’s head and placed him neatly on the tarp. Clara told me she would finish wrapping the buck if I would go check on Pa and see if we caught the other two.

I went down to the dirt road and leaned against a tree, humming softly to myself as I waited for Pa to return. The truck came rattling down and I smiled, seeing two large bodies in the back. I waved happily to Pa and turned back down the path to tell Clara what he had caught. She beamed a smile at me when I told her the news, and we heard the heavy grunting of Pa as he pulled the two bodies down from the truck bed. I bent down to help Clara tie the tarp closed and we waited for Pa to bring other bucks.

“Got two nice ones.” he said proudly. “This one here’s maybe a year old or so, but the population will do fine without him, and this guy was in his last season.” Pa pulled the larger deer around by the antlers and threw him on the ground. It’s wide eyes pierced into me.

“NO!” I shrieked and I ran up to the dead deer’s head and cuddled it in my arms. I pressed my sobbing face into the bloody fur and rocked back and forth squeezing it tightly.

“Al! What the hell are you doing?” Clara shrieked and she raced foreword and tried to pry the deer away from me. I curled my legs around it’s neck and screamed even louder. “No, no, no, no, no!”

“Al, you need to get back to your senses boy!” Pa bellowed, and he advanced on me and for the first time since I had known him, he was angry. He grabbed the deer’s head and shook it violently and my grip on the deer’s neck failed and I crumpled to the ground with a heavy thud. Clara immediately ran and scooped me up in her arms and locked me in the front seat of the truck. She then ran back to Pa and helped him load the remaining deer into the truck bed. I waited for them with my knees jammed into my chest and I hugged them, rocking back and forth, still howling with grief. Out of the window, I saw Pa and Clara desperately trying to figure out what to do with me. Clara nodded and jumping in the back of the truck and Pa swung the door open and climbed in.

“Al,” he said, stuffing his key in the ignition. “I’m not sure what triggered that, but when we get home, I want you to explain yourself. Are we clear?”

I said nothing but sobbed into my legs as he drove off toward the cabin.

* * * * *


I had stopped crying by the time we arrived home, and fear began to set in. I had slipped. They knew that the way I behaved was the most unnatural reaction, and I couldn’t figure any way around what I had done. When I sat down at the table, Pa in a chair next to me, and Clara on the bed, I figured there was nothing I could do but tell them the truth. I started with the cowbell.

Clara and Pa watched tensely as I reached up and slide the cowbell from my horn with a slight jingly. I looked down and set it on the table. The silence hung thickly in the air.

“Oh, Al.” Clara breathed at last, and her voice was filled with pity and horror.

I glanced over at Pa. He said nothing but his eyes were popping and his mouth hung open.

“I thought you had a birthmark or something but not this.” Clara said and she slid off the bed and crept forward to kneel on the floor by my feet.

I looked ashamedly away from her probing eyes and felt her reach up and touch my horn lightly. “You’re not human are you?” she whispered softly. I shook my head.

“I’m a Pegasus.” I said, and my voice chocked and caught.

Clara’s eyes softened and I saw tears form in them.

“Oh Al.” she whispered again and she laid her face, which was wet with tears on my thigh.

“A Pegasus…” Pa breathed. “Not the flying horse?”

I looked up at him and nodded. His eyes opened wider and he placed his face in his hands. “A Pegasus.” he whispered to himself. “But you don’t look like a horse? Apart from that horn you look normal.”

At his words, I reached up and placed my hand around it. “I’m not normal. I can tell you that.” I looked down at the floor and tears burned my eyes. “That deer was my father. I killed my mother when I was first born. This damn horn slit her open!”

I felt Clara’s hand tighten on my leg and she raised her chin from my knee. “When I first came here, I was only three weeks old.”

The rage I had kept bottled up for seven years suddenly flowed over and I gripped my horn with both hands and pulled on it tightly. “For six years I wouldn’t grow, I wouldn’t--change! And now, you think I’m thirteen, I’m not! I’m seven and I’ve been trapped in this same unchanging body for seven years! I can barely stand to look at myself!”

I bent over and sobbed onto my lap, still tugging on my horn and my forehead began to grow red from the irritation.

Clara slid her hand up my arm and laid it on my hand. “Al.” she said softly, and her voice was shaking from fright. “Al, it’s okay. It’s okay. We know now and you don’t have to hide anything from us.” I reached over to the table and gripped the cowbell tightly, which tingled softly under my touch. “Let go of it Al.” Clara said. “You don’t need to hide under it anymore.” She put her hand on top of mine and I could feel it shake as she lifted my fingers away. The cowbell fell to the floor with a dull thunk and I heard it jingle softly and then it was still.

“There.” Clara said, running her fingers threw my hair. “That’s better.”

“What I want to know,” Pa said, turning his great face to me, “is why you’re smarter than any of us if you’re only seven.”

I swallowed and Clara grasped my hand tightly and gave it a loving squeeze. “When a Pegasus is born, they’re given the intelligence of a six year old, just in case something happens at their births like what happened to me.” My voice failed as I remembered my dead mother’s face. Clara squeezed my hand again and I continued. “So just in case something goes wrong, they still have the intellect to survive on their own. Even though their body’s wont grow, their minds will, so I have the body of a seven year old, but the mind of a thirteen year old.”

Pa’s eyes lifted a little to rest on mine. He nodded. “Damn smart boy.”

“But there’s something else.” I said, and I wasn’t sure how I knew what I was about to say, but I knew that it had to be said. “I have other powers.”

Clara and Pa blinked and exchanged fearful glances. Pa looked nervously at me.

“When I reached the age of seven, I gained access to my other forms.”

“Other forms?” Clara repeated. I nodded slowly. “Other forms.”

“In addition to a Pegasus being a flying horse, it’s also what people know as a centaur, and a mermaid. I can transform into all of those. In addition to that, I have command over a bit of psychic magic like force fields and other energy forms.” I trailed off and looked at the cowbell, laying motionless on the ground.

“How do you know all of this?” Clara asked after hesitating.

I shrugged. “I didn’t know until today. I guess it’s just kind of instinct.”

“Have you ever been a flying horse?” Pa asked. I shook my head. “I haven’t changed from this body at all. I’m the exact same as I was at birth, except for not as skinny and I think I grew a forth of an inch today.” My eyes softened and I could feel a prick of hope.

Clara looked over at Pa. “Anything else?” she asked him.

Pa shook his head and stood up. “Well Al, I guess we learned a lot about you today.” He paused. “This explains a lot too. Oh well, I’m gonna lay down. After news like that, I don’t think any of us should go out tonight.” Pa got up stretched up arms and yawned.

“I think I’ll lay down too.” Clara said, and she got up and kissed me not on the top of my head like she usually did, but on my horn. She smiled sweetly and wandered over to the bed she shared with Pa. I sat where I was, still shaking slightly and picked up the cowbell. I got up and put it away in the cabinet with the plates. Smiling, I closed the door and went to my pile of furs on the floor.

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