Chapter 12 - Alone

Jake hadn't told her, but in the few months that they had been living together, in their own place, he had gotten used to the way she clung on to him when she slept. He found it not only comforting, but endearing. He also found that he had gotten so used it that after she let go, he usually woke up a minute later or so. It wasn't really a big deal for he was always able to find asleep again.

Tonight, or this early morning he supposed, had been no exception, but as he tried to go back to sleep it donned on him that Trixie was on the phone. He hadn't caught any of her conversation until the tone of her voiced changed and she sounded frighten. “Please,” she begged. “I don't want you to call here anymore. My husband is-” she was interrupted and made to listen to the person on the other end. “No,” she whispered. “It's not like that,” she responded heatedly. “You know what? I don't care.” Jake then heard as she hung up the phone and sighed.

A moment later, she rested back on her side with her back to Jake. Jake then rolled to his side and wrapped his arm around her as his hand found her now large round stomach. He frowned as she visibly jumped with the gesture. “Who was on the phone?” he asked.

“I didn't realized you were awake,” she replied.

“Yeah.” He lifted his head a bit and looked at the clock. “I should be getting up,” he stated, but did nothing more then lay back down for a few more minutes. “So, who was on the phone?” he asked again.

“It was no one important. Just something I should have taken care of awhile back. Nothing to be worried about,” she reassured him.

Jake let out a small chuckle. “That's funny coming from you.”

Trixie then rested her hand on top of Jake's and admired their wedding bands. Their ceremony had been simply, non-traditional, as they had gone to a Justice of the Peace. They were married in front Johnathan, Haley, Mrs. Carter, and Trixie's grandmother. Jake seemed upset afterwards, but told everyone he was fine, but anyone who knew him well already knew what was wrong. His grandfather's absence had cut him deeply.

Things had been shaky at first between Trixie and Jake as they began their married life. Trixie was always asking questions about the money coming in. Questions Jake wouldn't or couldn't answer, and so eventually she learned just not to ask. But that didn't stop her from worrying about him. Once a month for about a week, he would leave to some destination unknown to her.

He always came back, tired and weary, but strangely always had a smile on his face. So Trixie never told him how his absence bothered her and how it felt like an small echo of her father. Besides, Jake was a good provider, and he insisted what he was doing wasn't wrong, which always rose an eyebrow on Trixie, but she said nothing. Plus he seemed happy, so Trixie let that be enough.

“It's getting about that time,” she told him as she looked at the clock. It would be dawn soon.

Jake sighed. “So it is.” He looked at the clock as well, leaving was always the hardest for him.

“I wish you wouldn't go. Just this one time,” she asked of him, making him feel a bit guilty. “My due date is so close and-”

“I'll be here,” Jake promised her. He then removed his hand from her stomach and took a hold of her chin. He gently guided her head towards him so that she could see his eyes. “You won't have to go through anything by yourself, okay?” Trixie nodded in understanding as she averted eyes. Jake gave her a lope-sided smile before he finally rose out of bed and prepared for his trip.

An hour later, Trixie felt his weight on the bed, she opened her eyes and looked at him as he sat on the edge of it. “I'm off,” he informed her. “I made you breakfast, it's in the microwave, okay?” He then got to his feet. “I'll call in a few days,” was the last thing he said to her before he was out the door.

After some time, Trixie finally rose for the day, struggling slightly as she did so. She waddled about the house as she prepared for the day. She had left her job about two weeks ago, comfortable in the fact, that when she was ready she would be allowed to returned, just as long as she brought plenty of baby pictures for her boss and co-workers to fuss over. Trixie smiled at the thought, it really was a great work environment.

Her smile soon faded as she sighed when she entered the kitchen looking at the dirty dishes Jake had left for her. She knew him cooking breakfast for her before he left was too good to be true. “Ugh,” Trixie made a face as she looked into one of the saucepans on the shove. “I just don't understand, Allegro,” Trixie spoke to her baby. She and Jake hadn't discussed baby names yet, but she had been running through a few to see which ones she liked. “How he can look at a grocery list that clearly says 'Grits' and buy 'Cream of Wheat'? And I don't care what he says, they are not the same.”

Trixie then went about putting the dirty dishes in the dish washer, before scrapping the cream of wheat off her plate and eating the rest of her food. After her meal she headed to the living room to watch some tv. About an hour into the movie she was watching the phone ringed. Trixie shared at it for a moment, hesitant to answer. She couldn't handle another phone call like this morning. She knew she should have told Jake about the harassing phone calls she had been receiving from her father lately, but she wanted to take care of it herself. She then realized that just looking at the phone wouldn't help her situation.

So finally, Trixie reached out and answered the phone, “Hello?” A wave of relief washed over her as she heard the voice on the other end. “Belinda, hey girl,” she greeted her best girlfriend. “Yeah, Jake and I are well, thanks. . . Uhhh, okay, lunch sounds good. Where?” Trixie asked and soon received an answer. “Okay, I'll meet you there, say around one? I have to run a few errands first.” She then heard Belinda's reply and her head fell as she did. “Yes, Cream of Wheat.” She then pulled the phone away and scoffed at it as Belinda's laughter came screaming through. As it died down she put the phone back to her ear. “Are you done now?” she asked her. “Good, I'll see you at one.”

After her phone call, Trixie went back to watching her movie. When it was over, she slipped on some shoes, grabbed her purse and headed out of the apartment complex to her car. Her first stop included the grocery store, were she happily picked up several things of grits.

Her next stop, before going to meet Belinda, included Radio Shack, where she wanted to pick up two new phones to replace the one in the living room and the one in the bedroom. She wanted them to have caller ID so she could screen her father's call, so she could speak to him when she was ready and on her terms.

She was comparing two different models when she felt someone's presence behind her. She didn't think much of it, thinking it was just another customer. That is, until the person behind her spoke. “Has anyone ever told you, that it's rude to not keep a promise, Ms. Carter?”

Trixie slowly turned her head at the familiar voice. “Alex,” she breathed before completely turning towards him. She then saw the surprise look on his face as he took her in. “It's um, Long now,” she explained as she put one of the boxes back on the shelf.

“Long?” She nodded at the simple question, noting the hurt in his voice. “I guess congratulations are in order then.” His smile was forced. “Congrats,” he offered.

“Thank you.” Trixie softly smiled at him at first. “Look, I'm sorry about not calling. I guess it just slipped my mind. I've been kind of busy lately.”

“It's okay,” Alex reassured her. “I can see other things were on your mind, but it would still be nice to catch up sometimes.”

Trixie thought about it for a moment. “Yeah,” she finally shook her head. “I'd like that. We should set a day aside.”

“Why not today like right now?” he suggested. “My next class isn't until three,” he informed her.

“Oh, so you're going to school? Where?” she asked.

“Kingsborough,” he answered.

“That's where I plan on going,” she replied. “You know, once my baby is born and things have settled down a bit.”

“It's a good school,” Alex told her and she agreed. “I would be glad to give you a tour of the campus whenever you are up to it,” he offered.

“Yeah, a dry run of the place before I start there would be great.” She then looked at her watch. “Alex, I don't mean to be rude, but I kind of have plans for today. I know I still have your number somewhere, unless it has changed.” Alex shook his head, telling her that it hadn't. “So I'll call you a little later and we'll meet somewhere and catch up.”

“Alright,” Alex agreed. “I'll be waiting for your call,” he told her. They then said their goodbyes before Trixie went to go meet Belinda for lunch.



It had been five days since Jake had left. The night before he had called to check in with Trixie. The conversation had started off well, but quickly went downhill when Trixie heard a female voice in the background and asked who it was. Jake then did want he always did when he didn't want to answer a question; he went about the subject he was on as if it had never been asked in the first place. Seeing that she was never going to get a straight answer out of him she hung the phone up in his face. The phone ranged a few minutes later. Trixie checked the caller ID on the new phone and saw that it was Jake calling back. She let it rang.

Then, after an hour of trying to convince herself that she wasn't angry or worst. . . jealous, she figured she needed to get out of the house for a while. She ended up finding Alex's number and making plans to meet him for a early dinner. They met across town and discussed many things. Trixie, learned that Alex was majoring in engineering and he learned that Trixie had wanted to be a doctor since middle school. He also learned that today she was calling her baby, Jerry.

And because Alex found it strange that Trixie didn't bring him up herself, Alex asked about Jake and how he was doing. She told him, from what she gathered the night before, that he was doing fine. Sensing that maybe she was angry with her husband and wasn't up to talking about him, Alex offered a change of subject, which Trixie seemed very thankful for.

When their meal came to an end, they both left the restaurant. Alex was accompanying Trixie to her car before he was going to head to his own, which he had parked on the other side. He was talking about nothing in particular, as they made a leisurely walk through the parking lot, when suddenly Trixie doubled over in pain. Alex reached out for her asking if she was okay. In the middle of telling him that she was fine, her water broke and Alex could clearly see the panic rush onto Trixie's features.

She tried to stay calm as she sat down and leaned on the car they had been passing by. She reached into her purse and quickly called her doctor. She then gave her keys to Alex, stating that an ambulance would take too long. In the car, on the way to the hospital, Trixie griped the door handle tightly with one hand while with the other she tried to contact Jake. He wasn't answering his cell, making Trixie immediately regret the way she had ignored his calls the night before.

So it was Alex by her side, holding her hand and comforting her as she gave birth to a seven pound nine ounce baby boy. Trixie cried as she held her baby for the first time. She touched his red little face gently as she noted that he had eyes like his father and was tempted to name him Arthur, wondering why she had never considered it before.

Before Alex had to leave, his brother coming to pick him up, he informed Trixie that the hospital had gotten in contact with her father-in-law and that he was already in the building. Trixie thanked him for all that he had done before her eyes closed and she succumbed to sleep, exhausted from the day.

It was near an hour later when Johnathan was able to get in contact with his son and almost another hour before he arrived at the hospital. Jake headed straight for the maternity ward where he found his father looking into the nursery of new born babies. He licked his lips nervously as he stepped up beside his father. “Have you seen Trixie?” he asked in a whispered.

“No.” Johnathan did not turn to look at him. “She's resting. Maybe in the morning.” He then added, “She's down the hall in room 519.”

Jake shook his head as he lowed it against the glass window in front of him. “She's going to be so angry with me. I promised her I would be here and-”

“Jake?” Johnathan interrupted him in a somber tone, causing Jake to look at him curiously. Johnathan than finally looked at his son. “You know I love you, right? And that I would do anything to protect you and Haley.”

The way he was speaking, slightly frightened Jake. “Yeah, I know.”

Johnathan pursed his lips together, for just a beat, before speaking again. He wanted to place his words carefully. “I'll admit that at first I did not think marriage was wise for you, but you and Trixie have know each other all your lives, and so I began to think that you two could work out.” Jake smiled at his father's words, but it did not last. “But I see now that my instincts were right the first time. . . I don't believe the boy is yours,” Johnathan finally confessed.

Jake then finally looked into the nursery. Because he hadn't been named yet the name card only read, Long. He was a beautiful baby with dark brown curls that stuck out of his blue cap and with light brown skin, but it was very clear with just one glimpses at him that he looked nothing like the man who had been claiming to be his father. “Jake,” Johnathan called, placing his hand on the other's shoulder. “It's going to be alright.”

“Dad, I appreciate your concern, but you're wrong. That is my son,” Jake made clear as he turned his father. “Mine.”

“I know how much you want to believe that,” Johnathan began. “You trusted her, but don't be blind,” he advised. “So please, get a paternity test before you put your name on anything,” he stated, referring to the birth certificate.

Jake pushed his father's hand off of his shoulder. “I don't need one,” he told him. “Over the last eight months, I have done nothing but think of the welfare of that little boy in there, so even if he wasn't mine, which isn't me admitting that he isn't, I would love him all the same.”

Johnathan brow furrowed. “Don't attach yourself, Jake, it's only going to hurt more,” he warned, his voice weary. “I know he isn't yours.”

“Think what you like. I don't care.”

“You will, because what will you do when his true father returns?” he asked.

Jake said nothing at first, not sure what he could say without confirming the fact that he already knew the baby wasn't his. “Dad,” he began slowly. “We're going to pretend this conversation never happened and I hope you never bring it up again, especially in front of my wife, okay?” he asked of him. “Now, I'm going to go find a nurse and see if I can go hold my boy. And it would mean a lot to me if you came and held your grandson as well.”

“I can't,” Johnathan could no longer look at the younger man beside him, “because he's not my grandson and I will never accept him as such.” Johnathan then began to walk away without another word, leaving his son with a mixture of emotions.

“Dad!” Jake yelled after him. Johnathan froze where he stood, his back to Jake. “If you can't accept him, it means. . . it means you aren't accepting me. Can you live with that?” he asked him on the edge of heartbreak as he feared the answer.

“No! Of course I can't!” Johnathan spun around, marching back up to him. “You do not know what I had to sacrifice to be with Susan? Trust me, Lao Shi was a light weight when it came to his disapproval of me.”

Jake felt shame as his father blew up at him. Jake wasn't stupid, he noticed the lack of his father's family in his life as he was growing up. The only member he had ever met from his father's side was his Aunt Patchouli, and even then when Jake was fifteen he discovered the two weren't even blood related.

“Then would you have me go through the same thing?” was the only question Jake could ask.

“I don't want to,” Johnathan told him truthfully. “But I can't just stand back and watch you get hurt.” Tears began to brim in his eyes. “When I lost your mother,” Jake's eyes went wide, it was the first time he had ever acknowledge that she was gone, “it broke me. . . just like the lost of our first child.” He looked into his son's eyes. “So I'm sorry, Jake, but I'm not strong enough to go through something like that again.” He looked back into the nursery at the child Jake was calling his own. He then stood silent for a long time. “Don't become attached,” he warned again, before Jake finally allowed him to walk away.

Jake then peered into the nursery again and as he saw the sleeping boy, he decided to forgo holding him for the night, he could wait until morning. Jake then turned down the hall and went in search of room 519. When he arrived, Trixie was still sound asleep. She looked so peaceful as he stood beside her merely watching. Jake held himself, lost within his thoughts as he thought about the argument he had with his father. He then realized that he and Trixie were truly. . . alone.

To Be Continued. . .

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