Chapter 1 - Scene One

Me Myselfand I in
BendingThe Rules
Writtenby Jamie Fandler, Jhonen Vasquez, Johnny Ciller, Linda Florance, and ToddVocal.
(Yeahright. Written by ME!! MUAHAHA!!) Before reading this, please read the INFORMATION soyou’ll know what the heck is going on. Thank you.
 
 
Voices:
JessicaMcCoy                          Me
JaniceKawaye                          Myself
GreyDelisle                              I
JhonenVasquez                        Johnny
RichardHorvitz                          Zim
RickMiller                                 Sparky
PhilLaMarr                                Wilt
SharonMann                             Jeremie
NathanLane                              Spot
ShaunFleming                          Kevin
SusieEssman                           VT
 
 
SCENE ONE
 
Begintitle credits on a black screen, playing Journey's "Open Arms". Itseems like it's going to be a very sentimental movie. The credits, written inboring white letters, change by fading in and out.
 
Credits:Pixel Animation presents, a Cortoroid Productions film, in association withSlave Labor Graphics-
 
Suddenlythe music stops with a record scratch.
 
Me (offscreen): Oh, come on! What do you people think this is? Some Lifetime chickflick? Lighten up!
 
The musicis now REM's "Stand".
 
Me (asthe beginning of the song is still playing): Yeah! Now THAT'S more like it!
 
As theexciting part of the music kicks in, a knife swipes across the screen, wipingaway the credit "In association with Slave Labor Graphics" andreplacing it with "Bending The Rules". The title "Bending TheRules" is written in exciting letters.
 
Me:Although I would have also accepted the Banana song . . .
 
Melaughs. The knife swipe replaces the title with the first voice credit. Theknife swipe (different each time) replaces one voice credit with another, untilall the main characters vocal credits have been shown. One final knife swipechanges the black background to a lovely view of a harbor at sunset. The creditscontinue, only fading in and out on top of the backgrounds. Lightening runsacross the top and left of the screen, as if the television was beingelectrocuted. The harbor picture fades into the view of a city, also at sunset.Lightening runs across the bottom and right of the screen. The city picturefades into a zoomed out version, showing the city farther away with a cliff inthe foreground, out of focus. The music fades out and the credits end as wezoom out even further, revealing somebody is sitting on top of a car parked onthe cliff. All we can see is their silhouette. They have their head rested intheir hands, and their elbows rested on their knees. The sun gets much lower inthe sky as we fade into nighttime. The person on the car sighs. We still can'tsee who it is.
 
Person:I'm going to miss it. But I really need time away from everything, so I cansort out my life. Something's gone wrong with me, and I know it. If I canfigure out what, maybe I can fix it. But the like hood of my perception changingis very slim, anyway, so there can't be much to improve on. . . . And in anycase, everybody I've ever met hates me, so I'm not losing anything by goingaway for a while. Talking to Squee, yes, but he doesn't like it when I talk tohim. He's scared of me. . . . As is everybody else in the universe.
 
Theperson sighs.
 
Person: Iguess no matter where I go, no matter how I try to right what I've wronged . .. everybody will always hate me. Even when I try to apologize, like I did withDevi . . . they are too scared of me to accept it. I'm beginning to wonder ifthere is any real place for me . . . where people will forgive me . . .
 
Suddenly,the lightening runs all around and across the screen, startling the person. Hestands up and is about to run, but the lightening suddenly all converges in themiddle of the screen (on him). He glows bright white for a second, hovering,and then the white of his silhouette rushes outward in all directions, coveringthe screen in whiteness. Cut to an interior view of the bedroom in Me Myselfand I's house. It's nighttime, and everybody except Me is asleep. Me islaughing evilly as she types away at VT's keyboard, her face lit by the glow ofVT's monitors.
 
VT: Me,are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean, I can understand Sparky, Wilt,and even Zim . . . but this guy is a killer! Do you understand the kind ofdanger you're putting yourself and everybody else in?
 
Me: SureI do, VT! But if I can keep Zim from experimenting on Spot's organs for thislong, I think I can handle this guy. He's not such a bad guy if you don't makehim mad.
 
VT: I'mtelling you, Me, this is a horrible idea! One slip-up and your head rollsacross the floor. And you know I can't bring people back to life. That's out oftouch with the World Files.
 
Me: Oh,you and your worries. All he really needs is a friend or two! And what betterbunch of friends could he have than-
 
As mesays each character's name, they are shown on screen, currently sleeping exceptfor VT and Me.
 
Me:-Sparky, Spot, Wilt, Jeremie, Zim, Myself, I, you and me?
 
VT: Imust admit, you all get along in a strange way. But this guy is different fromall of you. He comes from Universe Seven Seven Seven, which, though not toomuch unlike Universe Seven Thirty-Seven, is much harsher than any other. Thepeople there-
 
Me: Iknow all about it, VT. I read all seven comics! I know everything there is toknow about him. I even know his favorite flavor is cherry! Hee hee!
 
VT:That's just it, Me. Don't you remember what he did to Jimmy for copying him?Jimmy knew everything about him, too.
 
Me: Oh, Iremember. But Jimmy was a freak. And besides, I'm not copying him or anything.I'm just trying to show him he has friends here who understand him and don'tcare about what he does or what he used to do. People change, VT, and I'm goingto prove it! He just has to learn to accept himself for who he is.
 
VT: Well,if you're completely positive you can keep him under control . . .
 
Me: No,VT! Of course not! He doesn't like to be controlled, so I'm not evengoing to try. But I will try to keep him calm enough so that he doesn'tkill anybody. And guess what? I'm gonna let him come to school with me! If Ican fix up his outfit and his hair enough, nobody will recognize him!
 
VT: You dorecall when you tried this with Zim . . .
 
Me: Oh,that was different. Zim's impossible to disguise. But Johnny could really passoff as a Sophomore, don't you think? And if I say he was held back a year, thatwould make him a Freshman, like me! And we could be in class together!
 
VT: It'llnever work, Me. Somebody will say something, and he'll get upset, and thenhe'll be writing you letters from jail.
 
Me: Henever gets caught, VT. Now . . . are we ready?
 
Theclassic Code: Lyoko music begins playing.
 
VT(suddenly in computer mode): Affirmative. Please confirm Universe, target,transmit to form target, and coordinates.
 
Me:Classification: comics. Universe Seven Seven Seven. Target: Johnny C. Formtarget: Not applicable. Coordinates: Last page, issue seven, sitting on his carat the edge of the cliff that overlooks the city. Memory: Complete memorytransfer, from JTHM Issues one through seven. Exclude director's cut edition.Details: Give him his hair back. I like his old hairdo better.
 
VT:Confirmed. Please insert time lapse after coordinates.
 
Me:Thirty minutes.
 
VT:Password?
 
Me(talking to herself): Radioactive rubber pants. Waffles. Head Explody. Geebs,stop this crazy thing! Marshmallow Bunnies, J.C. Leave me to my vomit. Wacky!Fake-out make-out. Cherry pie.
 
VT:Invalid password.
 
Me(annoyed): Tessa is a big dork-face.
 
VT:Password accepted. Transmission pending. Transmitting: Johnny C., UniverseSeven Seven Seven to Universe One. Notable changes: hairstyle. Error detection:multiple outfits. Selection?
 
Me: Blackshirt with randomized logo on front, and thick black and white stripes on theback. Thick-striped sleeves, gray pants, and knee-high boots.
 
VT:Settings approved. Accessories?
 
Me: Hisdiary.
 
VT:Settings approved. Confirm transmission?
 
Me: Confirm.
 
VT:Confirmed. Transmit Johnny C. at nine percent completion. Twenty-four percentcompletion. Thirty-seven percent completion. Fifty-two percent completion.Sixty-six percent completion.
 
Me's eyesbecome big and she smiles as she watches the loading bar on the screen.
 
VT:Eighty-three percent completion. Ninety-nine percent completion.
 
Me turnesaround in the chair to watch as one of the garbage-can pods next to the desklights up. Lightening strobes around the wires connecting the pod to VT's maincomputer, which sits under the desk her monitor is on. She gets up and walksover to the pod.
 
VT:Transmit complete. (Snaps out of computer mode) Me, be careful.
 
Me: Justopen the pod, VT.
 
The poddoor slides open, revealing at first nothing but smoke that pours out, but whenit clears we see Johnny curled up at the bottom of the pod with his eyesclosed. Me gasps and squeals, excited. She reaches down and grabs Johnny underthe arms, then, with much struggle, drags him out onto the floor. She gently setshis torso down.
 
Me: Aw,thanks, VT! Isn't he beautiful? I've never seen him asleep before.
 
VT:Technically, he's just unconscious. And I'm serious, Me, you have to becareful! Johnny is dangerous!
 
Me: Oh,shut up about it, you artificial intelligence worrywart. I know how to handlehim. Besides, until morning, I have him all to myself!
 
VT: It'sa miracle this never wakes anybody up.
 
Me: True.Either that, or they're all really heavy sleepers. Anyway . . .
 
Johnnymoans and blinks his eyes open.
 
Me: Oh,good, he's already awake! Usually it takes a little longer . . .
 
VT: Well,he was never a fan of sleeping, anyway. That might have had some effect on thetime it took for him to wake up.
 
Me hoversover Johnny and stares at him.
 
Me: Hi,Johnny C.! Glad you're awake! My name is Me, and welcome to my house! If youfeel a little dizzy, that's normal. You were just pulled out of an alternatereality! Oh, and there's this other little side effect . . .
 
Johnny:Wha . . . oh, my head . . . where . . .
 
Me: Oh mygosh, you're so sweet! And I like the way your voice sounds! After all, wenever really know what your voice sounds like, because you're a comic insteadof a cartoon. Kinda reminds me of Jhonen's set of vocals, actually. But that'sno surprise, considering he created you.
 
Johnny:What are you talking about? And how did I get here?
 
Johnnysits up and puts his hand on his head. He looks confused.
 
Me(realizing something): Oh, I forgot! You don't know yet. Well, here's thebasics. You exist in an alternate reality called Universe Seven Seven Seven.That Universe was created by Jhonen Vasquez. You are an idea that he thoughtup. For every idea, no matter how simple or complex, there is a Universe. Themajority of complex Universes are television shows, but others are comic books,like yours. Your entire reality is nothing but a comic book. Creepy, huh?
 
Johnnylooks freaked out, his hand still on his head.
 
Johnny:You're insane. How do you know my name? Have you been following me?
 
Me: Notin so many words. Like I said, you're in a comic book. I've read all sevenissues. I like the first issue, when you meet Squee for the first time! Oh andin the second issue you meet Devi. That was funny. Man, did you get your buttkicked! She's the only one who ever got away, though, isn't she? But thefunniest part I ever read was in issue three, when you were talking with thatguy from the crime council, and he mentioned something about the girl foundbehind the mall who had all her blood drained-
 
Johnny:What the he-
 
Me: Nah,ah, ah, Nny! Public television. Sorry, no swearing.
 
Johnny:Oookaayyy . . . What the heck is going on here? I have no idea whatyou're talking about. Comic books? This is insane! Really. How do you know somuch about me?
 
Me: Oh,just hold on one second.
 
Me getsup and walks over to her bed. She reaches under the mattress and pulls outthree comic books, then drops them in front of Johnny. Johnny picks up the oneon top and opens it, scrolling through the pages. Me sits down next to him and putsher arm on his shoulder, looking at the comic with him.
 
Johnny:This . . . this is me! This comic tells all about me! Even my diaryentries . . . where did you get this?
 
Me:Jhonen Vasquez drew it. Like I said, he created you! You're an idea, and yourentire reality is nothing but a comic book. Creepy, huh?
 
Johnny(awe-struck): Uh huh . . . That's . . . that's . . . ohh, I don't feel good . ..
 
Me: Yeah,finding out everything you know is a lie can do that to you. That's the otherside effect I mentioned earlier. But don't worry; if you concentrate onsomething enjoyable, you can usually ride it out before you projectile vomitall over the place.
 
Johnny:Uh, okay. So . . . if you know everything about me, don't you hate me? Aren'tyou going to run away screaming any time soon?
 
Me: No,not really. . . . Well, yes, probably tomorrow, but not because of you. I justlike to run away screaming.
 
Johnny(creeped out): You sound like you're a cheerleader. Are you?
 
Me(outraged): CHEERLEADER?!? I hate them! They think they're sooo cool, becausethey can jump around and climb on top of each other and wave little pom-pomsaround and memorize catchy rhymes! And they think they're the best ateverything because they're pretty and get to go out with worthless footballguys who have no good qualities except for their appearances! And theneverybody likes them because they're paired with the quarterback! AND THEY'RESO STUPID!! Don't even get me started about how stupid they are!
 
Johnny:Okay, okay, I get it. You hate cheerleaders as much as I do. Sorry I offendedyou.
 
Me(suddenly happy): Not at all! Cheerleaders are funny! And I'm veryfunny, so I'm told, if a little insane. My nickname is Waffles!
 
Johnny:Waffles? Well, okay. What was your real name, again?
 
Me: Me.But not spelled M-M-Y like that freak Jimmy. It's spelled the way it sounds:M-E! Neat, huh? And my sisters are Myself and I. But we're not triplets, eventhough we're all fourteen. You see, we're three halves of one girl. Well, weused to be. Her name was Tessa Fandler. But when Kevin and Jeremie attempted tosend her to Universe Forty-Nine to say hello to Leonard and let him know Spotwas okay, she ended up being split into three people who each had differentparts of her qualities and talents. I'm the insane half, most likely! I likebugs, singing, doodling, and cartoons! Myself is a goody-goody-two-shoesteacher's pet. She likes to paint, play the piano, and get good grades. I isgothic. She likes to write stuff and wear dark clothes, and she's a genius likeJeremie. And if you put us together, that's something like what Tessa was like!Oh, and we all get little tidbit flashes of her memories once in awhile, butfor the most part we only know what Kevin and VT tell us. Kevin is Tessa'sten-year-old brother, and he's really annoying. Oh, and then there are the VTBabies - creatures VT pulls from other Universes, like you.
 
Johnny'seyes are big as he listens.
 
Johnny:This . . . this is too much to take in at once. Just stop, before you make mesick!
 
Me: Oh,sorry, Nny. That usually happens when I explain everything to a newbie. Youwant a bucket?
 
Johnny:No . . . I'm okay. Just . . . just shut up! Can't you tell me this later?
 
Me: Likewhen? You just got here, so I figure this is the best time.
 
Johnnyglances at the digital clock on the table.
 
Johnny:It's one AM. Shouldn't you be asleep? It looks like everybody else isasleep . . . and you don't wanna wake them up, right?
 
Me: Oh,don't worry about them. For some reason, they're all really heavy sleepers.They never wake up in the middle of the night. But don't you wanna know whothey all are? After all, you're going to be here for a while, so you should getto know them.
 
Johnny:Only if you can make the introduction quick and simple.
 
Me: Actually,I was. There's a whole novel's worth of information I left out! Those were justthe basics. Anyway, yeah I can introduce them quickly enough. But why? We haveall night to talk.
 
Johnny:Because all of this information is seriously making me nauseous. I need time tothink. Go ahead and tell me about the others here, and then go to bed. I'lljust sit here and think about everything.
 
Me: Okeedokee. Let's begin.
 
Me getsup and walks over to the second set of bunk beds, where the VT Babies aresleeping. She squats down next to the bottom bunk.
 
Me: Thisis Jeremie. He's from Universe Nineteen, and he's here to help Kevin fix VT,because he's a super genius. He likes to watch documentaries on television.Sometimes, he taps into an ultrasonic Link File frequency and contacts Aelitafor help. Aelita is a virtual girl, basically, and she's his girlfriend. Next!
 
Me movesup to the second bunk.
 
Me: Thisis Spot the dog. He's from Universe Forty-Nine. Oh, and he can talk. He enjoysnormal dog things as well as normal boy things. He has a highego, and he's very funny at times. But when it comes to emotions, he really hasproblems keeping it together. He's very dramatic. Next!
 
Me standsup all the way and puts an arm on the third bunk.
 
Me: Thisis Sparky. He's from Universe One Sixteen. He's an alien: Newtropian, if youwant to get specific. He has an appetite that's nearly a match for his energy.He'll eat anything, but his favorite is junk food, specifically candy. He's thehyper one. Next!
 
Me goesaround to the side of the bunk beds and climbs the latter to the top bunk,resting her elbow on it while standing on the latter.
 
Me: Thisis Wilt. He's from Universe Four Eleventy-Three, the imaginary Universe: thusthe imaginary number. We just use the six-digit code 4113-01 for the technicalterm, but the real name is still four eleventy-three. Anyway, he's really tall,and that's why he's on the top bunk. He's insanely nice and forgiving, but ifyou ask too much of him, he's in danger of a nervous break down. He's more of agoody-goody-two-shoes than Myself is, but he's really cool about it. He used toplay basketball, and he's really sensitive about his missing arm and wonky eye.Last . . .
 
Me jumpsdown from the bunk bed latter and lands next to a small green blanket andpillow on the floor.
 
Me: . . .is Zim. There was nowhere else to put him, so he just sleeps on the floor. He'sfrom Universe Seven Thirty-Seven. He's also an alien, but he's an Irken, not aNewtropian. He's almost as hyper as Sparky, but not quite. His mission used tobe taking over the Earth in the name of his leaders, the Almighty Tallest, buthe had to give that up when we transmitted him here. He basically hates humanbeings in general, so you'll have to forgive him if he doesn't like you. Oh,and he was also created by Jhonen Vasquez, so you two have something in common!Hee hee!

Me moves over to the other three bunk beds.
 
Me: Youalready know about these two. The one on the top bunk is Myself, and the one inthe middle is I. And me, I sleep on the bottom bunk. Oh, and there's one moreperson!
 
Me walksover to VT's monitor and rests her arm on it.
 
Me: Thisis VT, which is short for Virtual Transmitter. She's who brought you here, bymy command. She has a mind of her own, though, because Kevin and Jeremieequipped her with artificial intelligence and emoticon chips. She's based on Sadie the car, from an episode of KimPossible. And she has a sense of humor, but you have to listen closely tofigure out where it is at times.
 
VT: Haha, very funny.
 
Johnnysighs, overwhelmed.
 
Johnny:Well, nice to meet you, VT. My name's Johnny, but you can call me Nny, if youlike.
 
VT:Charming! Nny it is. Taking off half of the word saves three bytes of memoryfor me.
 
Johnny:Um, thanks?
 
Me: Thatwas an example of her humor. Three bytes is basically nothing to a computer.Don't be rude, VT!
 
VT:Sorry. Anyway, nice to meet you, Johnny.
 
Me: See,VT? I told you I could handle it. He's not such a bad guy if you take the timeto get to know him! Right, Nny?
 
Johnny: Isuppose so, but lately I haven't had a very high opinion of myself.
 
Me sitsdown next to Johnny with a concerned expression.
 
Me: Aw,Nny, it's okay. I'm your friend! After all, we're both clinically insane here,aren't we?
 
Johnny(sarcastic): Oh, thanks, that really makes me feel better. So . . . you choosewho you bring here, right? Why did you choose me?
 
Me: Ilike you. And I want you to be happy again!
 
Johnny:That really is very kind, but I'm afraid your efforts have been in vein. I'llnever be happy again. Everybody I've ever liked is scared shi- I mean, scared breathlessof me.
 
Me: Well,you'll see that not everybody hates you, Johnny. And here, you have the chanceto start all over! Say . . . do you think you could pass as a Sophomore?
 
Johnny: Isuppose, though I'm really twenty. Why?
 
Me: Oh .. . no reason. Well, I'm going to bed now. You can just sit here and think, butdon't go anywhere. Pacing around the room is okay, though, as long as you don'tleave. I'm going to show you around tomorrow. Oh, and VT? Wake me upbefore everybody else so we won't have any screaming. After such a long timewithout anybody knowing, it would be a real shame to have one person scream andmake the parents come in to find all this.
 
VT: Gotit, Me.
 
Me yawnsand crawls into her bunk, below I and Myself.
 
Me:Goodnight, Nny. Feel free to sleep, if you want.
 
Johnny:No, that's okay. I still have a headache from listening to you and all yourexplanations. I need to think about it for a while before I try to sleep.
 
Me: Suityourself. Nighty-night.
 
Alone, itseems, Johnny sighs and puts his hands in his lap. He twiddles his thumbs.
 
Johnny:Why does everything always have to happen to me?

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