Chapter 2 - Scene Two

BendingThe Rules
ByGalaxyDancer
 
 
SCENE TWO
 
VT: Fivefifty-three AM. Time to get up, Me.
 
Amechanical arm extends from VT's monitor and taps Me on the shoulder. Me wavesher hand at it as if it were a mosquito.
 
Me: Fivemore minutes, VT.
 
VT:Johnny's waiting, Me. You said you would show him around today.
 
Me: Isthe sun even up yet?
 
VT:Almost.
 
Me sitsup in bed and rubs her eyes as the mechanical arm retracts back into themonitor. The sun is shining through the windows, making the room bright withmorning light. Johnny is still sitting on the floor. He looks deep in thoughtas he twiddles his thumbs.
 
Me: Nny?You ready? I'm gonna show you around the house. Nny? You there?
 
Johnnyshakes his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts. He turns around to faceMe.
 
Johnny:Yeah, I'm here. Sorry. I was still thinking about everything that's happened.It's really unnerving.
 
Me putsher feet on the floor and stretches her arms, yawning.
 
Me: Yep,yep, I know. Come on, we have a lot to cover. It's a two-story house.
 
Johnny:Alright.
 
Johnnystands up and stretches, leaning into a half back-bend. Me stands up and jumpsfour times, then holds out her left hand and uses her right hand to bend herfingers backwards until they touch her wrist. Johnny looks horrified.
 
Johnny:What the heck?!!
 
Me: Oh,sorry, I forgot to mention I'm also the one with the freaky body talents. I canbend my fingers backwards, twist my arms and legs backwards, cross one eye at atime, and double my voice.
 
Johnny(really freaked): Double your voice? What's that mean?
 
Me: I cansing and talk in two notes at once. I'll show you. (In doubled voice)Oooooohhhhh!!!
 
Johnny:Holy shi . . . p! Ship! How do you do that?
 
Meshrugs.

Me: I dunno. But it's fun! It disturbs people!
 
I rollsover in bed, disturbed by Me's noise.
 
I: Not thisearly, Me. Do that later. Some of us are trying to sleep!
 
Me: Oh,yes! Nny, you can meet I first. As I told you, she's the gothic one ofus three.
 
I's eyessnap open in realization.
 
I: No!Not another one! Who is it this time, Me? Who did you pull thistime? Osmosis Jones? Ami and Yumi? Double Dee? Snap?
 
Me(looking dreamily at Johnny): Nope! He's not from a television show.He's from a comic book!
 
I sits upin bed, horrified. She stares at Johnny and Me, who are standing in the middleof the floor. Me smiles and waves.
 
I: Oh myGod! Johnny? You pulled Johnny?! Are you insane? Wait, I take that back.Are you more insane that you already were? Are you on drugs orsomething?

Johnny: Excuse me, but is there something wrong with me?
 
I: Duh!You're a homicidal maniac! You're dangerous! Me, do you know what you've done?!You've sentenced us all to death! We're so dead, now! My God, what are we goingto do?!
 
Me: Shutup, I. Johnny's really nice. Don't you think he would have killed me by now ifhe was going to?
 
I: You dohave a point. How did you pull it off, Me? You haven't driven him to a breakingpoint yet.
 
Johnny:She never said anything rude about me. I don't exactly like her in any way, butat least she's not as cruel as most people - and by "most people", Imean people like you.
 
Me: Ah,give her a break, Nny. She'll understand eventually.
 
Myselfrolls over in bed.
 
Myself:What's going on, guys?
 
I: Mepulled Johnny here. Johnny C., the homicidal maniac! You know, fromthose comic books you hate so much? And now he's here! We're all doomed,thanks to dunderhead, here!
 
Myselfsits up and stretches her arms.
 
Myself:Johnny C.? Oh, he's not that bad, I. I've read the comics, too, and I don'thate them that much. If you're nice to him, you'll see he's actually kind ofcharming.
 
Me: HA!!!IN YOUR FACE, I!!
 
I: Haveyou gone mad, Myself? Johnny is a killer!
 
Myself:Only if you're mean to him. I say it's okay if he's here, as long as he doesn'ttake everything so seriously.
 
Johnny:Don't worry, Myself, I'm not going to do anything. There's too many people here,anyway. And it seems that this place is different from where I used to live.I've never been caught before, but here . . . I'm not so sure. Besides,I don't want to kill people any more. I want friends.
 
Myselfand Me (together): I'll be your friend.
 
I slapsher hand onto her forehead in disgust.
 
VT: Okay,everybody, it's time to get up and start the day. Six AM, Sparky, Spot,Jeremie, Wilt and Zim. Six AM.
 
Suddenlythe radio turns on, playing "Manic Monday" louder than necessary. Theremaining sleepers wake up, rub their eyes, yawn, and stretch. Wilt is thefirst to notice the new addition.
 
Wilt: Oh,hello there! My name's Wilt. Who are you?
 
Johnny:Johnny C. Nice to meet you, Wilt.
 
Johnnybows to Wilt.
 
Wilt: Wow. . . heh . . . that's really polite.
 
Sparkyrubs his eyes and notices Johnny, as does Spot.
 
Sparky:Who's the new guy?
 
Wilt:This is Johnny C. He's really nice, from what I can tell.
 
Sparky:Really. Does he like tacos?
 
Johnny:Sure, I do, but I like Cherry Doom Brainfreezies better.
 
Sparky:Brainfreezy? Sounds delicious! You ever tried Slugworms?
 
Johnny:Sorry, no. Is that some kind of candy?
 
Sparky:More like a live candy, actually.
 
Spot:Hey, I think I've seen you somewhere before. Are you on a cartoon?
 
Johnny:From what I hear, I'm from a comic book.
 
Wilt:Interesting. I didn't know VT could do comic books.
 
VT:Neither did I, but it turns out they're Universes just like cartoons are.
 
Jeremie(waking up): That's amazing! I never came across that in your programmingbefore, though. You'll have to give me the details later. Oh, and welcome toUniverse One, Johnny.
 
Johnny:Thank you. Jeremy, right?
 
Jeremie:Right, but spelled with an I-E instead of a Y. Most people misspell it.
 
Myself:Well, I'm glad it worked out, VT. Johnny's really nice.
 
Me:That's why I chose him, Myself!
 
I lookscompletely dumbstruck as she stares blankly at everybody.
 
I: HAVEYOU ALL GONE MAD?!!
 
Everybodystops what they were doing and looks at I, except for Zim, who's just nowwaking up.
 
I:Johnny's a killer! He's a homicidal maniac! How can you all say he's sonice? Look at him! Look at what he's wearing! He's dangerous!
 
There's apause as everybody looks at her like she's insane. Johnny looks upset, andcrosses his arms.
 
I: What?What? I'm just telling the truth!
 
Myself:But that was mean, I.
 
Me: Youdeserve to have your face shoved in dookie for that!
 
I: Oh,come on.
 
Johnny:It's people like you I hate. You're not even willing to give people like me achance. If I could, and if I had a knife, or even a spork, I would make it soyou could use your own organs for a biology report. Just to be nice, I'd letyou choose which ones before I tell you it doesn't matter and stab youthrough the stomach.
 
For amoment, nobody says anything.
 
Wilt (tohimself): Well. . . . Okay, I guess I really should get to know people before Ijust assume the best.
 
I: Yousee? You see? He's dangerous! VT, couldn't you have just told Me she wasn'tallowed to bring him here?
 
VT:Sorry, I, but the only thing that could have stopped her was the password, andwe all know she stole it from Kevin. In any case, I tried to talk herout of it.
 
Me: Oh,you two are just being obnoxious. Johnny's a really nice guy!
 
Zim,standing up and stretching just like Johnny did earlier, turns around andnotices the new person in the room. For a moment he just stands there, lookingat Johnny.
 
Zim: Youa VT Baby, tall human filth?
 
Johnny: Isuppose so. Zip, right? Me told me about you.
 
Zim: Zim,actually. So if you're a VT Baby . . . that means I'm not the new guy any more!YES!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! Finally, Me has a new person to torture! Maybe nowI'll get some time to write in my log book without her reading it.
 
Zim walksup to Johnny and motions for him to lean down to listen. Johnny leans close toZim, curious.
 
Zim(whispering): Watch your back. She'll figure out just how to torture you. Trustme. She used to dump a bucket of water on my head every morning instead of justwaking me up. And water is acid to Irkens.
 
Johnnyturns and looks at Me, unsure.
 
Johnny:She seems nice enough, though . . .
 
Zim: It'sall an act. Just wait until she tries to take you to school with her.
 
Johnnystands up straight again and sighs.
 
Johnny:Well . . . hey, what about that tour, Me?
 
Megiggles and grabs his hand.
 
Me:Sorry, Johnny, but it's too late. The parents are probably already up. Oh, butguess what? It's my turn to go to school today! And guess who's going with me?
 
Johnny'seyes get wide. He glances at Zim, who nods in an "I told you so" way.
 
Johnny:Me, I am not going to high school with you. I never even went to highschool, anyway. It's just another place crawling with horrible, judgmentalpeople who stereotype you. Not as bad as the mall, but still a disgustingpublic place. And I'm tired of people hating me. You've read those comics aboutme; you should know.
 
Me: Don'tworry, Johnny. My friends will accept you without question, and they won't makefun of you. They're really nice! Brittany-El Nanas is hilarious, and Nina likesJhonen Vasquez's work almost as much as I do. Ashleys One and Two are more of"Inuyasha" fans, but they'll still like you because Nina will. Patriciawill probably think you're cool, and Nancy probably won't talk to you much. Shenever talks very much, anyway. David will act like an idiot at first, but youget used to it after awhile. Don't take anything he says seriously,because he means none of it. Oh, and he's also a big Jhonen fan, so he'llprobably recognize you before anybody else. Kylie will probably want to go outwith you, but don't let her. Heather will probably like you, too, but she waitsat least a week before asking anybody out.
 
Johnny:Sounds like a nice bunch of friends. But still . . . I'm not going.
 
Myself:It would be funny if you did, though.
 
I: Funnyfor who? The devil? He'll end up murdering the school counselor the first day!
 
Me: Shutup, dunderhead. Johnny's too smart to do that. Right, Nny?
 
Johnny:Uh . . .
 
Me:Riiiiight, Nny?
 
Johnny: .. . Right.
 
Mecrosses her arms proudly and smiles at I, pointing her nose to the ceiling. Isighs, disgusted, and tucks herself back into bed.
 
Me: Okay,then, it's settled. We just have to change your outfit and fix your hair. Howdoes a short-sleeve pink T with blue jeans and a jean-jacket sound?
 
Johnny:Hideous.
 
Me:Great! VT, whip him up some new threads. You have a sense of fashion, so youdecide.
 
VT: I'lldo my best.
 
One ofthe garbage can pods lights up again, and opens to reveal a pair of bell-bottomjeans, a pink T-shirt, a jean-jacket, and a pair of red and white tennis shoes.Me walks over and picks them up, showing them to Johnny.
 
Johnny: .. . No. Oh, no. Heck, no. I am not going to wear that crud, andI'm not going to high school with you. Never! Not in a million years!I'd rather die again! You're not getting me to do this!
 
Cut toinside the school bus. Johnny is sitting next to Me, wearing the new clothes. Hishair is perfect and combed. He has his arms crossed, and he looks totallydiscouraged.
 
Johnny: Ican't believe you got me to do this.
 
Me: Oh,it's gonna be okay, Nny. You'll meet a lot of nice people here, and I'm sureyou'll make some friends. And if you try not to look so tall, people probablywon't recognize you.
 
Johnny(not paying attention): Bell-bottoms. I hate bell-bottoms! Why did theyhave to be bell-bottoms? They could have just been normal jeans! And why didthis shirt have to be pink? Pink, of all the colors . . . it could have beenblue, or green, or red . . . red would have looked the best, next to white . .. but pink? Why pink? It's the one color I hate the most!
 
Me: It'snot that bad. Timmy Turner wears pink, and he's famous! Just be gratefulyou're not wearing a pink hat, too. See? So it could be worse!And it's just clothes, anyway. Clothes don't matter much.
 
Johnny:Yes they do. Appearances make the person, in every "Universe"everywhere. Normally I don't worry about what I look like so much, but this . .. this is ridiculous. This makes it look like I do worry about myappearance, and I don't like that. And here's proof: EVERYBODY'S STARING ATME!!
 
Every kidon the bus suddenly turns and looks at Johnny because he yelled.
 
Johnny:See?
 
Me standsup and claps her hands loudly.
 
Me: Okay,everybody! Since I have your attention . . . once again . . . for the sixteenthtime this month . . . I'm going to introduce the new student at Mainton High!This is Johnny . . . uh . . . C.! He would have been a Sophomore, but he washeld back a year, so he's a Freshman. Everybody be nice!
 
Johnnysinks down into his seat, horrified and embarrassed.
 
Brittany,in the seat in front of Me and Johnny, stands up as well.
 
Brittany:New student? Awesome! Does he like waffles, Waffles?
 
Me: Idunno, Brittany. He likes buttered toast, though. I remember reading that inissue six by turning it upside-down and reading the writing on a page in hisdiary.
 
Brittany:What?
 
Me: Nothing!
 
Me sitsdown as Brittany moves from her seat and crawls over Johnny to sit next to her.Johnny scoots over, making room for both of the giggly girls.
 
Brittany(whispering so only Me can hear): So why are you sitting with the new kid, huh?You liiiike him?
 
Me (alsowhispering): Isn't he cute? Of course I like him! But you wanna know whyelse I like him?
 
Brittany:Sure! Why?
 
Me:Weeelll, you remember that time I brought Zim to school and everybody found outbut I told them he was a holograph created by my brother?
 
Brittany:Who doesn't?
 
Me:Anyway, have you ever read JTHM comics . . .?
 
Brittanystares for a second, comprehending this. She glances back at Johnny, figuringout what Me was telling her.
 
Brittany:No way. Johnny C.? The Johnny C.?
 
Me: Thevery one! But I don't think he's gonna kill anybody -except maybe the schoolcounselor, if she makes him mad- because he wants to make friends. I told himhe could sit with us at lunch. Okay?
 
Brittany(accidentally not whispering): Of course! Johnny's hot!
 
Johnnyglances at her, confused. Brittany smiles and giggles nervously. She waves tohim.
 
Johnny(thinking): Note to self . . . avoid Brittany.

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