Chapter 6 - Scene Six

Bending The RulesBendingThe Rules
ByGalaxyDancer
 
 
SCENE SIX
 
The musicis Pachelbel Canon (linkto site with various dumb variations of it). It's sunset at Me Myself andI's house. Johnny is walking down to the pond that rests just west of thehouse. He has his hands in his pockets, and he looks very sad. He is back towearing his original outfit and his hair is back to its normal messy state. Hesits down just next to the water with a sigh. Me walks up and sits next to himfrom out of nowhere. She has on a blank expression and is staring forward.Slowly, a smile comes across her face and she turns her head to look at Johnny.Johnny moves his eyes to look at her.
 
Johnny: .. . Yes?
 
Me: Iknow a great way to cheer up a sad Johnny. I know you're not a social bug, butyou might decide to change your mind after this. Wanna give it a try?
 
Johnny: I. . . don't think so. Society, no matter where, reeks.
 
Me: Oh,no . . . not society. Not the way you think, anyway. But it's close.
 
Me leansclose to Johnny and whispers in his ear.
 
Me(whispering): I rewired VT's connection and created a neutral Meld Universe,capable of holding up to five hundred thousand entrants from differentdimensions. I had VT connect to Lyoko and give Aelita the message to send outinvitations.
 
Me leansaway, as does Johnny. He looks at her like she's nuts.
 
Johnny:And you didn't tell Kevin . . . why? Any reason?
 
Me: He'dspoil the whole thing. Anyway . . . it's called Mustard Kazoo and Cash. Wehired the best bands Universe Original has to offer, but we reached theagreement to pay them after the concert. Of course, VT will wipe theirmemories before they leave. In other words: free entertainment!
 
Johnnystares for a moment.
 
Johnny:You're stealing music?
 
Me: Notin so many words, and not just the music - the bands. They perform live. All ofthe best songs. "Beverly Hills", "Don't Mess With MyHeart", "Don't Lie", "Don't Bother","Don't-"
 
Johnny:There's a lot of "don'ts", aren't there?
 
Me: Yep.So . . . you wanna come?
 
Johnnythinks about it for a moment.
 
Me(trying to tempt him): I invited King Louis XIV . . . from France . . .
 
Johnny:In that case . . . no.
 
Johnnygets up and walks off screen. Me looks desperate to get him to come, and runsafter him. The camera still stays on the scene by the pond.
 
Me (offscreen, screaming): King Louis is a lot like you, though! 1662, Nny!! And allof the other VT babies will be there! Wilt, Sparky, Spot . . . come on!There'll be cookies! And nachos! And Devi! I invited Devi!
 
Johnny(off screen, yelling): I SAID NO!!!
 
Me (stillof screen... still screaming): We've got classical music, too! And a poetrycontest? Do you like apples? We've got apples! And you know that youlike waffles! WAFFLES ARE GOOD!! I HIRED A MAN IN A GIANT RUBBER BUNNYCOSTUME!!
 
Johnny(still off screen, yelling louder): NO, NO, NOOO!!!
 
Me (youknow the drill): SKETTIOS!!!! SKETTIIIOOOOSSS!!!!!
 
Cut(fade) to Mustard Kazoo and Cash, in full swing. It's a place that isABSOLUTELY HUGE!! There is no roof. It's almost nighttime, about thirty minutespast the "pond" scene. Right now, we only see the sky, and hearmusic. It's not exactly a song - it's more like a really good beat. We hear thecrowd cheering. When the camera pans down, we see a large array of actualpeople (not animated) and cartoons, all dancing and having a great time. Justto list a few: the casts of every cartoon show under the sun, and a few teenagesitcoms (like Phil Of The Future, That's So Raven, Drake And Josh, Zoey 101,etc). As the camera pans from left to right, we see a variety of events takingplace. Lazlo swings by on a random electric cord, holding on with his tail.Starfire grabs The Tommy and throws him into the air, then flies up and catcheshim mid-fall, giggling. The Totally Spies are having a blast dancing. Mandy(from Billy & Mandy) slaps Raj. Rudy Tabootie twirls Penny Proud around.Phil Diffy projects a hologram of himself to dance with Zoey, while he goes offand dances with Keely. Kim Possible back flips into the scene and lands rightin front of Chip Skylark. Danny Phantom and Aelita (2D) dance together. Grimand Ember dance as if they've fallen in love. Drake flirts with London Tipton.Josh flirts nervously with Raven (from That's So Raven). Drake Long asks Tak(human disguise, leaning on a table off to the side) to dance, who pulls out alaser and points it at his nose. Drake Long goes Dragon and flies away in ahurry. Otto Osworth dances with Mushi. Bloo and DeeDee are having a dance-off.Edd is nervously chatting with Zoey (from The Proud Family). The camera stopson Me and Johnny at the snack bar. Johnny isn't enjoying himself. Me's as happyas a cat on catnip.
 
Me: Oh, comeon, Johnny. This is great! It's as wild as wild gets! And best of all, we'rethe only ones who'll remember it! That is, until next time. You see, each timeI send out the invites, all previous attendants remember MKC. But before that,they have no idea. Except us in Universe One. Neat, huh?
 
Johnnydoesn't acknowledge her. A random tennis ball bounces off his head. He doesn'tnotice. Me still waits for a reply.
 
Me(loudly): . . . I said, "we're the only-"
 
Johnny: Iheard you.
 
Me: Oh.Okay, then.
 
Person(in the distance, off screen): I demand an explanation! First, a mysteriousletter appears before me - out of nowhere.
 
Me looksto the sound, coming from the left of our view.
 
Me: Ah,he's here! Come on, Nny, you can meet-
 
Johnny:Fine. As long as I don't have to talk.
 
Meshrugs. She grabs Johnny's hand and runs off screen to the left. We watch as Medrags Johnny to the person (still off screen). She pushes through a few peopleto get there, including cutting in on Robin and XJ9, and bumping into Brad(from Teenage Robot) and Juniper Lee.
 
Person(off screen): When I read the invite, I decide to accept, and I suddenly appearat this . . . this . . .
 
Cameraswitch to the mysterious person's view as Me steps directly in front of him atthe entrance to the party. Obviously, the mysterious person is a little tallerthan her. Me lets go of Johnny's hand, and he slips away without her noticing.
 
Me(informal and friendly): Welcome to our bizarre chaotic social gathering,AKA the fifth Mustard Kazoo and Cash! Feel free to eat chips!
 
Me sticksher hand out to shake. Switch back to normal view, and we can now see theperson. Surprise appearance by Leonardo DiCaprio (not animated), playing KingLouis XIV from the movie "The Man In The Iron Mask", 1998. Of course,he doesn't know he's just an actor . . . just like all of the other "realpeople" characters (Drake, Josh, Raven, Phil Diffy, etc). King Louiswas complaining to Wilt, Tuk (from Teenage Robot) and CatDog, who were selectedto be the bouncers.
 
KingLouis (to Wilt, not happy): Who is this? And again, I ask, what arethese creatures? I command you send me back to France AT ONCE!!!
 
Wilt:This is Me. She's in charge of the party. (To Me) Which, by the way, is goinggreat! It's even better than the last four!
 
Tuk (toMe): Yeah, but why'd you invite King What's-His-Name here?
 
Tukpoints his thumb at King Louis.
 
Cat:Yeah, he's crashing the party!
 
Dog: Buthe has a nifty robe. I wish I had a robe like that . . . so poofy!
 
Doglaughs. King Louis takes a step away from him, looking creeped out.
 
KingLouis (not sure who to talk to): This . . . this isn't right. I'm the king ofFrance! You have to obey me!
 
Me stillhas her hand out, waiting for a handshake.
 
Me: True,but this isn't France.
 
Tuk: Yeah,stupid! It's America!
 
Me:Actually, it's not even a place that exists. It's somewhere between Limbo andReality. But it's the perfect neutral meeting place where people from allplaces and all time periods to come together and just have fun.
 
Pause.
 
KingLouis (not believing, going nuts): No . . . I have to get back to my kingdom.They're nothing without me. I don't have time to listen to any more of theseinsane claims! Let me leave!
 
Me (stillwith her hand out): Oh, you can't leave until it's over. In the meantime, justhave fun!
 
KingLouis: But I-
 
Me: ISAID HAVE FUN!!! And besides, you'll be sent back to the very second at whichyou received the invitation. You won't remember a thing until next year.
 
KingLouis: . . . You can't talk to me like that! I'm royalty! You . . . (he looksat the people around him) . . . you . . . all of you . . . . .
 
Mefinally gives up on a handshake and just grabs Kind Louis's hand. She pulls himout on the dance floor, and he finally notices all of the technology.
 
KingLouis (in awe): . . . you . . . . . . . oh . . .
 
Me: Ithink you mean "wow". Well, once you're through gawking, take offthat bulky robe and have some fun.
 
KingLouis nods, not even sure what he's nodding about. Me walks back to theentrance, leaving King Louis to himself and the party.
 
Me: Nny,did you . . .
 
Me looksaround, but Johnny is gone.
 
Me: Nny?Johnny? . . . JOHNNY C., WHERE DID YOU GO?!!
 
Me lookscompletely pissed. She storms off screen screaming Johnny's name, trying tofind him. Cut to the stage just as the music stops. Atom Smasher (real person)walks on stage with a microphone. The crowd stops and listens to him.
 
Atom:Alright, MKC! It's time to bring out our live entertainment!
 
The crowdcheers.
 
Atom:Here's Weezer, playing "Beverly Hills"!
 
The crowdgoes wild. Atom walks off stage, replaced by Weezer and some dancers. The musicto the song starts. We get to watch up to the end of the first refrain, withcut-ins of the crowd enjoying the entertainment.
 
Weezer(singing):
WhereI come from isn't all that great;
My automobileis a piece of crap,
Myfashion sense is a little whack,
And myfriends are just as screwy as me. (Cut-in: Juniper Lee elbows Roger)
 
Ididn't go to boarding schools. (Cut-in: Jeremie and the Lyoko crew look at eachother)
Preppiegirls never looked at me. (Cut-in: The Totally Spies all staring at him anddrooling)
Whyshould they?
Iain't nobody,
Gotnothing in my pocket.
 
BeverlyHills! (Cut-in: Complete crowd shot from behind Weezer)
That'swhere I want to be.
Livin'in Beverly Hills. (Cut-in: Zoey 101 and the Phil Diffy hologram dance)
BeverlyHills!
Rollinglike a celebrity. (Chip Skylark and Ember dance, with Grim in the backgroundlooking heartbroken)
Livin'in Beverly Hills.
 
Cut toMe, who's still looking for Johnny.
 
Me:JOHNNY? JOHNNY C!!! JOHNNY!!! NNY?!! JOHNNY!!!
 
Me walksoff screen to continue her search. Pan to a still-in-awe King Louis just as thelyrics correspond appropriately. Hold for a second, showing his still awedexpression. A quick pan to the right lands on a blank spot on the dance floor,where Emperor Kuzco slides into the spotlight and executes a series of Kuzcoishdance moves, including the Egyptian Move.
 
Kuzco: Ohyeah! WOOHOO! Emperor Kuzco's in the house!
 
Flashzoom in on Kuzco, who comments to the camera.
 
Kuzco:And you thought you could watch a movie without me in it, didn'tyou? Think again!!
 
Flashzoom out, but then another flash zoom in when Kuzco realizes he wants to addsomething.
 
Kuzco:Oh, and understanding the risk of being killed by an angry mob of fans for notsaying this . . .
 
Flashzoom out as Kuzco strikes a very Kuzcoish pose.
 
Kuzco:BOOM, BABY!!
 
Cue musicbreak (end of second refrain). Cut back to King Louis, still staring blankly atthe stage. Kuzco walks up and puts his hand on his shoulder.
 
Kuzco:Hey, Kingie . . . lighten up. This IS a party, after all.
 
KingLouis: The creatures . . . the loud music . . . what does it all mean?
 
Kuzcopauses and pretends to think about it for a minute.
 
Kuzco:Hmm. I think it means . . . (yelling in Louis' face) YOU NEED TO QUIT BEINGBORING!!
 
KingLouis seems to snap out of his trance as he shoots Emperor Kuzco a confused,somewhat offended look.
 
Beat.
 
Kuzco: Orsomething to that extent.
 
KingLouis (getting smart): This is some kind of . . . celebration?
 
Kuzco (sarcasticallyshocked): NAH! Really?
 
KingLouis doesn't respond - he's too confused.
 
Kuzco(quietly): Just between you and me, you're supposed to dance at parties.
 
KingLouis straightens his posture, standing erect.
 
KingLouis (trying to have his brain catch up with the rest of him): Very well,then. Whom shall I ask?
 
For amoment, Kuzco just stares at him like he's nuts. Cue third refrain in song.
 
Kuzco:Are you serious? Look, unless you brought a date -which I highly doubt youcould find wearing that hideous robe- then you're just supposed to . . . dance.You know. By yourself?
 
KingLouis: Dance with myself? I've never heard of such a stupid-
 
Kuzco:No, no, no! Just have fun. Like . . . (looking around the room) . . . likethose guys.
 
Kuzcopoints to the right, and the camera follows his finger. We land on Bloo, BeastBoy, DeeDee and Josh (from Drake and Josh), who are all participating in thedance-off now. Each person is dancing in their own . . . -ahem- uniquestyle. Quick pan back to King Louis and Kuzco. King Louis looks at them as ifthey've gone insane, while Kuzco watches with interest.
 
KingLouis: What are they doing?
 
Kuzco'shappy expression suddenly turns sour as he glares at King Louis.
 
Kuzco:They're dancing, genius. For fun? Fun dancing?
 
KingLouis: I still don't see how-
 
Kuzco(getting a nasty idea): You know what? I think you need something to drink.
 
Kuzcoleads King Louis off screen to the right, while we pan a little to the left,revealing a dark hallway in the back corner. We slowly zoom in on the hallwayas the song "Beverly Hills" ends and "Listen To Your Heart"(original, not remix) begins. Cut to the entrance of the hallway. The music isnow muffled. It's kinda dark. Pan a bit to the right (closer to the inside),and we see Johnny leaning against the wall.
 
Johnny:It just isn't for me. I never liked crowds or large groups . . . heck, I don'teven like people. . . . I just don't fit in.
 
Devi(barely stepping into the scene, nearly all off screen): You've got thatright.
 
Johnnylooks towards her general direction with wide eyes.

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