Chapter 1 - The Saga Begins

Sora's Grand Adventure
Part 1
Warning: This fic is completely retarded.
I don't own any of these characters.

Sora happily skipped into Riku's house. "Hey what cha' eatin'?" Sora asked. Riku replied proudly:

"Death puffs! It magicaly turns the milk a blackish-purple color!" Riku smiled.

"Ew! You're gross!" Sora replied disgustidly.

"Nuh-uh! You are, stupid!" Riku insulted back.

"Nerfherder!"

"Jelly-belly!"

"All right! That's it!" Sora fumed. "You wanna go at it, boy?"

"Heck yeah, you pansy!" Riku threw his cereal bowl with all his might towards Sora's head. The ceramic bowl shattered and sprayed milk, broken pieces, a spoon, and death puffs.

"Owchie!" Sora cringed as he cradled his damaged head. "You retard! I'll break your kneecaps!" Spellbinder materialized into his hand and Sora promptly brought it down hard on Riku's knees.

"Roar! Ow! Kairi! Sora's killing me!" Riku cried out in hope, as he fell to his knees. Kairi jumped in through the open window.

"Goody! I hope you fall in a woodchipper," Kairi said coldly.

"How can you say that? What about our love?" Riku asked desperatly. Kairi make a face like she was going to be sick.

"Love? I don't love you. I don't even like you! In fact, I hate your sorry butt! I love Sora," Kairi grabbed Sora and began making out with him for a whole minute.

"No! I have been shamed," Riku cried in agony. Kairi finally releases Sora from her grasp.

"Now that was a good round of face sucking!" Sora said. Riku boiled with rage.

"You scumbag! Curse your big shoes!" Riku spit on that last line.

"Hey, Sora?" Kairi began, in a flirtasious manner. "How 'bout we just take the raft and leave together."

"Yeah, okay! Bye Riku, you're gonna be bug squash!" Sora and Kairi quickly ran off towards the raft on the beach. Riku stared after them, fighting back tears of rage. His lips quivvered with fury.

"I swear by my chinny, chin, chin! You, Sora, shall die! Muahahaha!" Riku laughed meniacly like the deranged maniac that he was.

(Sora, Kairi, Goofy, Donald, and Future Trunks all brave the sea on their trusty raft.)

Goofy sat in a zombie like state chanting. "Muddle! Muddle! Muddle!" He exclaimed.

"Meddling!" Donald yelled in correction.

"I don't care what its called!" Sora yelled angrily. "Its freaking annoying!"

"Meddling!" Donald screamed back.

"Shut up!" Trunks back handed the screaming duck and the punched Goofy in the back of the head. Kairi jumped up and down in glee.

"Hey, look! I caught a fish!" Kairi proudly held up a heartless jellyfish in her net.

"Yummy!" Goofy shot out his tongue Jar-jar style and consumed the jellyfish, along with the net and almost Kairi's hand.

"You freakin' retard!" Kairi pounded Goofy in the head with a rock, knocking him over.

"Thanks a lot Goofy!" Sora said angrily. "You ate our only catch of the day and you almost ate Kairi's hand! I should have your big toe for this!"

"I already ate them," Goofy said as he bares his toeless feet. All of them, except for Donald, jumped back from the sight. Trunks threw up into the water.

"That's just not normal!" Sora said holding his stomache.

"Where'd you meet this freak anyways?" Kairi asked, her eyes still wide with fear.

"He can't tell ya!" Goofy started. "Except that it had to do with a keyhole, that there door to the light, and muddling!" SMACK! Sora knocked Goofy out cold with a blow to the head.

"What a moron," Sora said.

"Oh, thank God!" Kairi grabbed Sora and started making out with him again. Trunks threw up again.

(At Sephiroth's Mansion.)

Sephiroth sat in his comfortable armchair as he listened to his son bawling. "They threw rocks at me, and poked my eye, and..."

"There, there, my son," Sephiroth said as he embraced his son," calm yourself. Your pain will be avenged." Riku looked up with a sniffle.

"How are you going to do that?" Riku asked.

"The only way I know how. I will extract their brain juice."

"Thanks, Daddy," Riku quickly runs into the hallway, out of sight. "Muahahaha! Father will surely destroy Sora!" Sephiroth quickly wrote a letter for Sora, consisting of a death threat and a fancy signature. He folded it up in an envelope and tied it to his carrier pigeon.

"Now he will know his days are numbered," Sephiroth said sadisticaly.

(On some random Island.)

Cloud was sitting on a rock, while looking down at the sea below. Cloud was about doze off, when all of a sudden that really annoying twerp, Yuffie ran up yelling. "Hey, Cloud! Think fast!" Yuffie flung a ninja star straight for Cloud, but Cloud quicly parried it into the air.

"Darnit! What the heck we're you thinking!?" Cloud demanded.

"Not much!" Yuffie said proudly. Just then a pigeon with a ninja star in it plopped to the ground. Cloud quickly examined the lifeless bird.

"There's a note here," Cloud said as he removed the envelope. Cloud read the document silently.

"What's it say?!" Yuffei asked anxiously.

"Oh no! Its a letter from Sephiroth, and he's gonna kill Sora!" Cloud grabbed his sword and prepared to fly. "I gotta stop him!" He than took off into the air.

"Me and Squally will come too!" Yuffei exclaimed. Squall sprung up from where he was napping and grabbed his Gunblade.

"Come on! I must prove myself as the greatest hero! Better than Cloud even!" Squall proclaimed as he salivated at the thought of him outdoing Cloud. He quickly grabbed Yuffie's waist and surfed after Cloud on his Gunblade.

To Be Continued...

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