Chapter 3 - Ennuis au paradis

GAMBARE SHIKAMARU




Ch. 3 : Ennuis au paradis



Les samedi après-midis signifiaient pour Ino une sortie entre amies dans leur salon de thé préféré. Peu importait si Shikamaru était là ou en mission. Si le temps était agréable et la journée à moitié passée, Ino serait trouvable dans ledit salon de thé en train de discuter à propos de thé et de gâteau.

Ce samedi n'était pas différent, cependant, un de ses aspects était inhabituel. Cette fois, Shikamaru avait décidé d'aller en ville pendant que Ino passait son temps de fille.

Shikamaru n'aurait pas été assez fou pour rejoindre Ino et ses amies. Ce n'était pas son genre d'être le mari collant d'une superbe femme. Au lieu de cela, il s'en plaignit et fit n'importe quoi de ce qu'il faisait quand Ino n'était pas là.



***

Ino était assise dans le salon de thé et soupira d'une manière exagérée en s'appuyant sur ses bras, la tête sur la table. Ses amies savaient que c'était le moment de demander à Ino de partager ses soucis. Tenten fut la première à prendre cette initiative.

«  Quelque chose ne va pas ? demanda-t-elle avec un sourire.

Ino soupira encore et joua nonchalamment avec la fraise décorative sur son gâteau avant de la pointer sur sa fourchette et de l'avaler. Elle mâcha lentement le fruit. Du regard qu'elle tirait, il était probable qu'elle ne goûtait même pas ce qu'elle était en train de manger. Ses copines se regardèrent avant de remplir leur rôle d'amies.

«  Allez, Ino, insista Tenten. Si quelque chose te tracasse, tu devrais nous le dire. Ca sert à ça les amies, non ? grimaça-t-elle gaiement.

- O...Oui…ajouta nerveusement Hinata. On est là pour toi… On fera de notre mieux pour diminuer ton malheur, Ino-chan. »

Ses yeux évitaient le contact direct comme d'habitude et elle tripotait encore ses deux index l'un contre l'autre.

Ino roula des yeux.

«  Tout va bien ! protesta-t-elle. Tout est rose ! »

Elle coupa une grosse part de gâteau avec sa fourchette et la fourra dans sa bouche. Yep, ses amies le savaient, il y avait vraiment quelque chose qui la tracassait.
Mayu, la voisine commère, qui s'était avec force incrustée dans la conversation, lança :

« Oh, je parie que c'est à propos de Shikamaru-kun ! C'est le seul qui arrive à mettre Ino-chan dans cet état. 


Tenten et Ino se demandaient encore une fois pourquoi Mayu continuait à se montrer ouvertement dans leurs rendez-vous du samedi après-midi sans invitation. Elles voulaient lui faire remarquer, mais Hinata insista pour qu'elle soient « gentilles avec elle » car « Mayu-san devait être très seule. »

Ino lécha la crème fouettée de sa fourchette et commença à frapper sa tasse avec de façon monotone. Elle eut encore dans les yeux ce regard lointain.

La patience de Tenten était à bout.

«  OK, fit-elle en frappant la table. Crache le morceau parce que tu commence à m'emmerder ! »
Ino cligna des yeux de surprise alors que ses yeux se replaçaient dans ses globes oculaires. Elle regarda autre part, à cause de son embrassement, et posa violemment sa fourchette.

«  Ben… C'est Shikamaru… »
Tenten eut un rictus.

« Oui, oui, raconte nous tous les détails, dit-elle. C'est un mari horrible, il est égoïste au lit, c'est un sale paresseux et nous le détestons tous avec toi parce qu'on est de ton côté. »

Elle jeta sa fourchette en l'air et l'équilibra sur un doigt comme elle l'aurait fait avec un kunai.

Mayu rit nerveusement avec un éclat de faim-de-ragot dans les yeux. C'était visible qu'elle voulait plus d'informations. La seule du groupe qui n'était pas prête à discuter des défauts de Shikamaru était la jeune fille aux yeux blancs. La réaction de Hinata par rapport à ce qu'avait dit Tenten fut un regard choqué.

«  Shikamaru n'est pas un homme aussi horrible ! s'exclama-t-elle. Tu.. Tu ne… devrais pas dire des choses pareilles… »
       Tenten lui fit un sourire rassurant.

« Hinata-chan, je plaisantais, » dit-elle en lui faisant un clin d'œil. Avec un mouvement de poignet, la fourchette qui se balançait s'envola et se planta parfaitement dans son morceau de gâteau.
«  A..Ah… Désolée… »

Tenten tapota la timide jeune Hyûuga sur le dos pour lui montrer qu'il n'était pas question de choses blessantes et reporta son attention sur Ino.

Elle aurait pu dire que Ino était déjà sur le point de tout leur raconter. Tout ce qu'elles avaient à faire était de lui donner quelques coups de coude pour la booster. Ino n'était pas du genre à garder les choses pour elle.

La jeune épouse ressaisit sa fourchette et jongla avec entre ses  

doigts avant d'enfin se décider à parler.
« Ben… Vous les filles savez comment est Shikamaru… »

***

Il éternua fortement. Peut-être était-ce le pollen au printemps qui l'attaquait. Shikamaru gratta son nez et continua sa marche sans but, flânant dans la rue.

Le soleil de l'après-midi lui réchauffait la peau et il souhaitait être dans son morceau d'herbe préféré sous son morceau de ciel préféré. Avec un aussi beau temps, les nuages étaient cotonneux et pelucheux. Le spectacle des nuages serait superbe. Si seulement il pouvait se coucher et les regarder pendant des heures. Mais en fait, il avait du temps à gaspiller. Mais il ne pourrait pas profiter de son passe-temps favori. Il se serait couché tout de suite sur son dos si son humeur massacrante ne le rendait pas agité.

Un gosse courut derrière lui sans surveillance d'un adulte. Shikamaru renifla d'ennui. Tout à ce moment l'ennuyait. Même le temps ensoleillée lui semblait désagréable et sombre.

Et la source de tout était la femme qu'il aimait- la seule personne au monde qui exerçait assez d'influence sur lui pour le tracasser à ce point.


Il n'avait pas été sans remarquer que Ino n'était pas elle-même ces temps-ci. Elle était renfermée et il rentrait souvent à la maison en la retrouvant à broyer du noir. Ce n'était pas elle de ne pas profiter de la vie.
Et alors qu'il ne pourrait sûrement pas être au courant de la raison qui la rendait ainsi, il n'était pas assez bête pour ne pas s'être rendu compte de son changement d'attitude. La manière dont elle était distante de lui et la diminution de ses preuves d'affections l'avaient alarmé.

L'attitude froide de Ino l'avaient saisi au point que c'était insupportable pour lui. Mais de toute sa vie il n'aurait pu deviner ce qu'était son problème. Cela le pénétrait jusque dans la peau comme rien ne l'avait fait avant- c'était une épine dans son corps, hors d'atteinte. Un homme aussi génial que lui ne pouvait pas imaginer se qui arrivait à sa propre femme. Quelle genre de plaisanterie était-il ? Comment pouvait-il être rassuré d'anticiper les mouvements de l'ennemi, quand, il n'était même pas parvenu à obtenir une prise sur la manière dont fonctionnait l'esprit d'une femme ? Il était une sorte de « génie stratège ».



Shikamaru expira fortement et haussa les épaules. Il mit ses mains dans ses poches et continua à soulever ses pieds du sol dans la rue agitée. Son esprit était tellement focalisé qu'il n'avait même pas senti l'odeur alléchante des marchants ambulants, même s'il n'avait pas encore déjeuné.

La distance de Ino ne pouvait être blâmée que sur le manque d'effort de l'un et de l'autre. Bien que c'était son instinct d'éviter la confrontation, il s'était forcé de lui porter un peu d'attention pour savoir de quoi il était question. Tout ce qu'il avait obtenu était des contusions et l'accès immédiat à l'abus verbal de Ino..
Elle lui avait hurlé dessus à propos de tout sauf du vrai problème. Tout ceci était très troublesome.

Merde, sa situation devenait de plus en plus troublesome. Il avait dangereusement besoin d'aide. Et c'était pour ça qu'il était venu en ville avec Ino aujourd'hui. Il espérait que du temps passé avec ses amies lui remonterait le moral. Et si ses amies pouvaient l'éclairer sur la cause de cette situation, ce serait on ne peut mieux.

Il regarda son ombre sur le sol pour connaître l'heure. La direction qu'elle avait lui indiquait qu'il était assez tard dans l'après-midi. Son front se plissa en signe de détresse. Il devrait probablement aller chercher Ino au salon de thé à présent, mais il craignait la manière dont elle le recevrait s'il le faisait. Il retira une main de sa poche pour se gratter la tête. Il était temps de prendre cette affaire comme un Nara.

***

The girls had a look of utter disbelief on their faces as their mouths moved like dying fish. “You mean....” Tenten asked for confirmation, “he's never ever told you that he loves you?!”

Ino's eyes flickered away unhappily before nodding. As incredulous as that sounds, it was the sad truth. She had a hard time admitting that to them because it not only made her look bad but also made her marriage seem like a sham. Last thing she wanted was for people to think Shikamaru married her at kunai-point because he got her pregnant or something as shameful as that. It was then that Ino noticed everyone was staring at her stomach.

“HE DIDN'T MARRY ME BECAUSE HE GOT ME PREGNANT OK?!” She yelled in her defense.

“W-we know that, Ino-chan,” said Hinata with a blush.

Mayu looked pale as a drop of sweat rolled down the side of her face. “But......you two erm..haven't had sex since...since....” She was unable to finish her sentence.

 Ino bowed her head even more as she nodded.

Hinata struggled with herself a bit before mustering enough courage to ask her. “And you can......actually count the number of times Shikamaru-kun has kissed you?”

Ino's head dropped all the way down in shame. If only some catastrophic natural disaster would happen right at that moment and distract everyone from their attempt to wrap their minds around the concept of her pitiful version of marriage.

Tenten forced a smile on her face. “There there, I'm sure there's a reason...maybe he's too lazy to um....do stuff like that.” She gave Ino a few hearty slaps on the back. But Ino's mood didn't pick up in the slightest bit.

        Mayu, who recovered from her surprise first, immediately slipped into her gossip mode. “Maybe he's gay! And he only married you to cover that up!”

Hinata looked bewildered as Tenten narrowed her eyes at Mayu.

“What?” Mayu asked as she looked around. “He does seem unnaturally close to that fat guy.”

Ino looked up from her tea to fix Mayu with her patented hard look. “Don't call Chouji `fat',” she hissed, “he's big boned.”

        Mayu snorted and mumbled something before digging into her cake.

“Maybe...Shikamaru-kun is very subtle in the way he s-shows his emotions..” Hinata offered her positive outlook.

Ino lifted her head slightly and gave the sweet girl a wry smile.

“But...” Tenten sucked on her fork thoughtfully. “I thought men were supposed to be really....uhhh...” She was trying to think of a better way to say it. “I mean.....aren't guys supposed to really like .....S. E. X.?” She looked around embarrassed after spelling it out. “Don't guys always have `that' on the mind?” Her face was bright red. Everyone turned their eyes to Ino. She was the only one of the bunch who had any experience.

Ino grew flustered. “That's what I thought too!” Then she glared down at her cup of bubble tea. “But Shikamaru usually acts like he doesn't really give a care. I think he likes it. He acts like he likes it. But then he never really tries to initiate it either....” Ino's voice trailed off until she was so quiet that she was talking only to herself. Suddenly, she looked up. “Come to think of it, my `sexy Ino jutsu' never worked on him either.” She said.

Tenten started giggling. “Y-you've actually tried that on Shikamaru?!” she managed to gasp out between laughs.

Ino looked offended. “No its not like that,” her face was about as red as it could get. “During the first chuunin test I tried it on Neji but Shikamaru was also there. He didn't seem affected at all.” Ino went back to eating her cake to avoid looking at everyone.

        “Did it affect Neji?” Tenten asked. She was pretty curious.

        “Of course not.”

        Tenten sighed. “Nothing affects that fatalistic idiot.” She gripped. Hinata and Ino drew from inference that Neji still hasn't warmed up to her.

        “You can't wait for him forever, you know.” Ino told Tenten.

“I know,” Tenten said in a melancholy voice, “but never mind about my problems ok?” And that was the end of that.

“Errr....What about you Hinata?” Ino asked brightly to change the subject.

        Hinata gripped the hem of her shirt. “Na-Na-Naruto-k-kun.....he...”

        Ino sighed at her. “Hinata, its hopeless to go after him. He's with Sasuke.”

        “I-I know,” Hinata stuttered, “but I really a-admire Naruto-kun. He was a-able to c-change himself after all. I want to be l-like Na-Naruto- kun.”

“Trust me Hinata, one day you will become the type of person you want to be. Meanwhile, why don't you try going out with Kiba?” Ino had a mischievous smile.

“K-Kiba-kun?” Hinata looked astounded.

Tenten and Ino wondered if Hinata really didn't know. Nobody can be that oblivious, right?

“Don't tell me you never realized that Kiba is totally in love with you. He ONLY practically stalks you.” Tenten exclaimed.

        “B-but we're friends!”

“That's how it starts!” Ino piped up. “Shikamaru and I were friends!”

Everyone stopped talking as Hinata started to think back on all the years she's known Kiba. He was always kind and protective towards her. But it must be because he's her teammate she decided. The introspective silence was broken when Mayu started to talk again.

Being the nosey person she was, Mayu leaned over the table to get closer to Ino before asking, “How IS Shikamaru-kun in bed? Tell me what you can from what little experience you have.”

        Hinata's eyes darted around nervously. The blush on her cheeks contrasted sharply with her pale skin. “I...I don't think I should listen to this...”

Ino blushed indignantly. “He's VERY good in bed, ok?” She said defensively.

        *****

None of them noticed that Shikamaru was standing at the door of the teashop. It was a position where he could hear their conversation easily. It took all his willpower to restrain himself from running away when he heard the topic of the girls' conversation. How could Ino bring herself to share such private aspects of their lives? Especially since he's asked her many times not to? She should know how private of a person he was. The corners of his lips bent downwards in a frown. Shikamaru felt that he was getting.....slightly angry.

        *****

Mayu pressed on with her barrage of questions shamelessly. Her unnatural desire for juicy details distracted her from noticing the man scowling with murderous intent.

“So,” she asked breathlessly, “Is he big?”

        Ino dropped her fork at that question. She was about to chew the nosey woman out for her rudeness when there was a warm pressure on her shoulder. The gentle pressure was caused by a large male hand that gave her a loving squeeze.

“Ino, it's getting late. I think we should go home now.”

Ino looked up and saw Shikamaru standing behind her with an unreadable expression. He stared ahead unseeingly and didn't bother to acknowledge anyone other than Ino. The girls couldn't help but train their eyes on Shikamaru. As they stared, they sorted through all the things Ino told them about his behavior towards her. For their friend's sake, Tenten and Hinata truly hoped Shikamaru wasn't as loveless as Ino made him out to be.

Ino brushed his hand off her shoulder coolly and picked up her bag. The hurt look that flitted across his face didn't disappear fast enough to escape the notice of Hinata and Tenten, who were shocked at Ino's cold demeanor towards Shikamaru.

The girls watched the interaction between Ino and Shikamaru with their shinobi-trained precision. Every gesture, every word spoken, were filed into their memory bank. If they assess that Shikamaru was devoid of love for Ino, they'll make him pay and free her from her marital binding.

Shikamaru took Ino's hand and pried her fingers open to take the bag from her. Her cerulean eyes narrowed at him and he took a step back unconsciously.

“I can carry my own bag,” she seethed under his gaze.

He looked at her blankly before holding the bag out to her obediently. Ino's expression was that of disgust when she yanked her bag out of his hand. Without another word, she brushed past him and went out the teashop. Shikamaru seemed to wither a bit.

        “Men...dokusee....” He said without his usual conviction. There was a hint of sadness in his voice.

        Tenten and Hinata exchanged worried looks. It looked worse than they thought.

        Shikamaru turned slowly until he faced the girls. His poker face cracked. Cold rage was evident in his face as he glared at Mayu. Looking at her pissed him off. `The nosey dog', he thought. The table shuddered and dishes clinked when he suddenly slammed his hand down on the tabletop. Other patrons of the teashop looked up in alarm at the noise.

“Look,” he spat venomously, “If you're so curious about the size of my dick you can spy on me in the shower. But I warn you, you'll probably be plagued with sexual fantasies of me for the rest of your life.” Shikamaru gave her a malevolent sneer. “But you also have to live with the fact that I'll never touch a disgusting animal like you.”

He slid the chair Ino was sitting in under the table in all roughness and strode out the door in heavy steps. He didn't stay long enough to see Mayu cover her red face in shame. The intelligent part of him told him that he shouldn't have taken his stress out on the nosey woman. But like hell he gives a damn.

After he left, Hinata was still wringing the napkin in her hands in nervousness. Although she wasn't the target of his anger, the anxiety she suffered from Shikamaru's show of uncharacteristic disposition was beyond her tolerance level.

“I'll walk you home, Hinata-chan” said Tenten.

        Hinata nodded mutely and the shaking of her hands lessened in severity.

        “T-ten.....ten....?”

        “What is it?” Tenten replied.

Hinata lowered her eyes. “I....d-don't think....Shi-Shikamaru-kun doesn't...l- love Ino-chan.”

        “Hn?”

        “Shikamaru-ku-kun....seems....to be in...pain...He's sad....and hurt...”

“You think so?” Tenten responded. “Well so do I. I could tell he loves her by the way he acts around her. But you know how Ino doesn't really get subtlety. Her family is the straightforward type who says what's on their mind and shows what they feel. Hopefully, Shikamaru will pick up on that.”

Neither of them noticed that Mayu had slunk away.

        *****

        It was the responsibility of the Hokage of a village to maintain the well being of all its inhabitants. In order to do that, the Hokage must make sure her immediate right-hand underlings were alert and ready all missions. That was why the recent strangeness in her favorite strategist's behavior didn't escape her observation. Something was definitely amiss.

        He still did all his duties. But the way he went about doing them was all off. First of all, he didn't complain half as much about his missions. His lack of grumbling alone indicated there was something of greater importance troubling him. Second of all, his mental processes were sluggish. By his standards of course. It now took him 3 to 4 minutes to plot out game plans for his missions when he used to pull brilliant schemes out of his @$$ without so much a thought. Third of all......well, he was doing `third of all' again.

        “Shikamaru?”

        He had a vacant look on his face while he watched the not-so- fascinating wall of her office with vapid interest. Tsunade couldn't stand it when he spaced out like that. Was this seemingly brain-dead man really the renowned child prodigy of Konoha?

        “SHI. KA. MA. RU.”

        The man turned his head. “Hm?” He looked pissed off. But he always looked pissed off.

        Tsunade crushed the stress-ball she was rotating in her hand. It was the third one that day to suffer such a fate. But it was no big loss to her since Shizune bought them. Besides, she never thought those were any good at relieving stress anyways. She'd pick sake over it any day. “Just what exactly is wrong with you?” Godaime asked in the same tone she uses for interrogations. “Somebody could've stabbed you with a kunai and you would've bled to death because you wouldn't have felt it.”

        “Che. whatever.” His entire frame slackened and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Got missions for me?” He lifted his head with what seemed to be great effort to look at her with unconcerned eyes.

        Tsunade raised a slender eyebrow. “You, of all people, asking for missions?” She drew her lips back in an vicious grin. She now knew what his problem was. “Are you trying to avoid going home? Trouble in newlywed paradise?” She asked.

        Shikamaru glowered then dropped his weight on the leather couch in the Hokage office and kicked up his feet. “Ugh I'm so tired,” he complained. “I'm gonna take a nap.” At that, he closed his eyes and forgot all about her. Even with his eyes closed he looked sullen. She decided that Shikamaru was one of those few people who can't manage to look angelic even in sleep.

        Tsunade wrinkled her nose at him. “You can't avoid facing confrontations by going to sleep,” she said. Shikamaru's head lolled back on the armrest of the couch and a rumbling snore slipped out of his lax jaws. Ok, maybe in this case he can.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes as a pensive mood came over her. This settles it. It was up to her to fix Shikamaru's relationship with Ino because his home life was affecting his work performance. She's not a big fan of meddling. Mostly because people already come to her with troubles too often for her liking. But the amount of influence the gloomy but reliable jounin exercises on Konoha can't be underestimated. The future of Konoha has a lot riding on the quality of Shikamaru's life. If all was well with him, he can work faster and carry a greater load of missions. If all wasn't well with him.... Tsunade paused her train of thought to look at the napping Shikamaru. He was now sleeping on his stomach. She shook her head. Unless she's able to unearth another intellectually gifted person like Shikamaru, he's much too important to let go to waste.

When things were going well with Ino, he had a zest for life, in Shikamaru's quantity at least. It motivated him to go through missions with effective precision using the least amount of time because he wanted to go home to Ino A.S.A.P. He had also started to show up early for missions, which, can also attributed to being married to Ino. It left the job of waking him up each day to her, which is a nice change of pace for everybody. Most of the jounins were pretty sick of having to literally drag Shikamaru out of bed for his assignments. And Ino's positive influence on him didn't end there. Tsunade harbored the suspicion that the only reason Shikamaru is a jounin was because Ino wanted him to be.

        Tsunade pulled a blank scroll out from her many piles of paperwork and started to write. If Shikamaru couldn't help himself, she would help him. Her plan would be implemented tonight. She's not going to bother to tell him her plan or the role she expects him to take in it. He'll figure that out easily enough. Whether or not he chooses to take the initiative is up to him. He's the one that's married, not her. When Tsunade finished her writing her message, she stamped it with her Hokage seal that proved her identity. “Shikamaru wake up!” Tsunade threw a broken piece of the stress-ball at him. “Its time to go home!”

        The jagged piece gave him a slight laceration when it bounced off his forehead. After a long pause, Shikamaru stirred. “................ow.”

        “Go home, Shikamaru.” Tsunade commanded. “This is an order from your Hokage.”

        “Why should I?” He grumbled. Then he finally confessed what was in his heart. “She doesn't want me there.” Shikamaru tried to keep the loneliness out of his voice in that admission. He licked his finger then rubbed that finger against his shallow cut. “ow...ow...ow...”

        “She'll be angrier if you're not home.”

        He scoffed. “Either way I'm a dead man. I'd rather hide and prolong my life for as long as I can.”

        Tsunade sat up straight in her seat. “Go home, and I promise things will improve as long as you try.”

        Shikamaru immediately picked up on the vibe that there were more than what she's saying. He observed Tsunade with the corner of his eyes while trying to gauge her hidden meaning. `Is she planning something?' he thought suspiciously.

        The godaime of Konoha smiled when she saw the cunning gleam in Shikamaru's eyes. So it would seem his mind was still sharp. “Now leave before I decide to baby you like the grandson I don't have.” She threatened.

        There was a horrified look on Shikamaru's face as he backed away towards the door. Then he decided he wasn't moving fast enough so he turned and ran instead.

        Tsunade pouted at his reaction. She's not that bad with kids is she? Kids don't drink sake right? And you can't hug them too hard because her superhuman strength would crush any child. Anyways, that's not important right now. “Izumo! Get in here!” she yelled.

        There was the sound of scuffling and then the heavy steps of a man running. “Hai Hokage-sama?” Izumo called out as he flung open the door. He caught the scroll reflexively when Tsunade threw it at him. “This is...” he questioned.

“Deliver it to Shikamaru's house.”

        Izumo couldn't help but let his expression crumple. “Uhhh.....wasn't Shikamaru-san just here?”

        “Yes. Your point?”

Izumo smiled nervously and made sure he kept his voice respectful. “Couldn't you have just handed it to him when he was here?”

        Tsunade's face was a blank. “No.”

“Errr...ok then.....” He bowed then left the room. The moment he closed the door behind him the muttering started. “Why couldn't she have just given it to him while he was here? I bet she's doing this on purpose because she hates me,” he grumbled. “She always makes me and Kotetsu carry the paper work around while she naps. Its so unfair she-”

“You be the Hokage and I'll deliver the papers then.” Said the voice that floated out of the office behind him.

Izumo froze. He gave a jittery laugh to mask his surprise. “Don't make such a joke Hokage-sama. I'll deliver the scroll right now!” he said in an obsequious manner before disappearing in a blast of nin smoke. And this time, he remembered not to mutter to himself. Just to be extra safe, he also kept his mind a careful blank in case she could also read minds.

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