Chapter 23 - Shamed
Submitted May 29, 2009 Updated June 22, 2010 Status Complete | A very old curse that is passed down through the Inu family, attacks InuYasha. Now Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Kouga, and Sesshomaru must team up to fight a enemy that was even more powerful then Inu no Taishou himself, in order to save InuYasha''''s soul.
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Anime/Manga » Inu-Yasha series |
Chapter 23 - Shamed
Chapter 23 - Shamed
InuYasha refused to stop. He ran. He couldn’t stay to help Kagome; he was too afraid what Inuhidoi would do to her next. InuYasha felt his enormous body move with such speed and grace he thought he was not even running on the ground. The disgusting wings dragged behind him, InuYasha made no attempt to fly with them, he had no idea how.
InuYasha begged for the tears to come, they did not. He cried in himself with everything he had. He couldn’t cry with this cursed body that Inuhidoi had made for him. InuYasha had seen Kagome’s face, and it ate every part of his soul. It was sick what Inuhidoi had done to her, and he could do nothing to stop the half-God.
“InuYasha, what is the world to you now? I feel annoyed that woman brought you back in control.”
InuYasha said nothing, he continued on running. InuYasha felt no need to rest, he felt like he could run like this forever until he found the pit of Hell itself. He wanted to die; Kagome the one person he promised to protect with his life could not protect her from his own claws.
He felt the wings throb behind him, but the pain was nothing but pure bliss to InuYasha. InuYasha was running into his own eaten soul. Oh Kagome, please forgive me, I can’t see you again InuYasha thought.
He had left her unconscious on the forest floor, open for other dangers, but he knew nothing could be more worse then himself. He hoped Kouga or Sesshomaru would find her. Kouga you can have her, InuYasha thought, she does not deserve a low-life like me.
InuYasha felt the wind change and the rolling of clouds overhead. Rain was coming, and InuYasha desperately wanted to turn back and take Kagome to shelter. But she was better off without him, how could he look at her the same way again? He raped her! It sickened his every thought and every inch of his body.
frack you Inuhidoi, InuYasha thought. You can take my damn body if you want, but taking Kagome’s spirit? Hell no! Just run InuYasha, just run until you can’t run anymore.
The thunder rumbled above as small drops of rain pelted down on his bare body. He had been in such a hurry to get away from Kagome, that he left his fire rath pants, or what was left of them, in the clearing. He didn’t care if he had no clothes, he felt barer in his on body then on the outside.
InuYasha could not jump in great leaps like he used to do, the damn wings behind him held the weight down and made it impossible to jump very high. InuYasha had no idea why those things were even there, he felt tempted to cut them off, but he knew it would be just like cutting a leg or an arm off.
He was glad Inuhidoi was quiet, and if he talked, then InuYasha would do what Kagome did all the time, gives him the silent treatment. He knew Inuhidoi could read thoughts, so InuYasha decided to keep his mind as blank as possible. But not thinking was giving him a headache. He though about getting shelter from the rain first.
Sniffing the air InuYasha could feel an empty space in the cliff of a mountain ahead of him. Inuhidoi’s senses were above any that InuYasha had ever had. He could even smell Sesshomaru from here, even thought his onii must be extremely far away.
The mountain came into view and InuYasha didn’t stop running until he was safe in the cave. He wanted to stay here until he died. InuYasha found a nice moist spot in the corner of the dark cave, it was uninhabited and InuYasha was glad. He sat down and curled into a ball, his wings hanging off to the sides.
Crying was not going to come, so he let the rain be his tears. The rain he hoped had pelted Kagome’s beautiful face. He had hurt her, it was his fault he could do nothing but watch. He had been expected to be panting for breath for running such a long ways, but his body didn’t even show a hint of exhaustion.
InuYasha glared at the black wings that hung from his side, he hated them. They were nothing more then a disgusting reminder of what Inuhidoi was. InuYasha cracked his claws, oh he wanted to chop them off of his back and bleed to death. He didn’t care.
“Bad idea.”
InuYasha ignored him. The strong words he once had for Inuhidoi were gone in one instant. InuYasha stayed silent.
“If you really want to die, then break.”
InuYasha was half tempted to snap back at him, he was not going to break and let Inuhidoi have his body to do what he pleased. InuYasha bit his lip and buried his head in his knees. Damn you, why don’t you cry?
He felt the slight movement from one of his wings; they were so different from everything else. When he had seen everyone look at them they all had the same face, even Sesshomaru had looked at him in fear. InuYasha was glad for one thing, Sango was alright, thanks to Myoga. He had no idea the old was flea was with them, and was glad that Sango’s death was not on his hands.
InuYasha’s ears flinched at every sound. He could hear a bug crawling from miles away, his hearing was that powerful. He would know if any of his companions even came a few miles from him.
InuYasha leaned his head against the wall of the cave. The cave itself even reflected his mood. The walls were wet like tears were shedding on his cheeks. It was cold and bare like his body, and it was small, like InuYasha felt against Inuhidoi’s massive power.
He closed his eyes, their red core not wanting to seen by even the air. He wanted to be a child again in his mother’s arms. He wanted her sweet comfort that he knew Kagome or Kikyo would ever give him again.
Kikyo, Inuhidoi said she would be the first to die once he broke. Oh Kikyo please help Kagome, help her through that living hell I put her though. Tessaiga, his otou’s fang wanted to be in his hands. He wanted to feel the comfort of the otou he never knew. Even Sesshomaru made InuYasha think that his onii was not that cold hearted. InuYasha would not mind if was in a fit of tears in Sesshomaru’s arm.
What he had done to Kagome was inexcusable. He would never see her again, even if he managed to kill Inuhidoi, how would she look at him? He raped her, it was not in a way he wanted, she was a companion, he hadn’t have thoughts of being even mates yet. Kagome was someone to protect, he was not ready to love her like that yet. Even Kikyo, InuYasha thought, he never had those lusted feelings for anyone of those miko’s before.
No! It was Inuhidoi’s lusted feelings! Not his! InuYasha had no feelings for anyone like that, those feelings were disgusting and under him. Call yourself a half-God? InuYasha thought angrily, your nothing more then a pathetic lusting fouled up pig.
InuYasha expected to hear Inuhidoi’s laughter, but the half-God stayed silent. InuYasha looked at the finger he knew Kagome had bitten. There was no marks where Kagome’s teeth had sunken through his skin, oh Kagome, she was so desperate she had tried to use force to keep him away.
InuYasha sunk one of his claws into his arm, and what he saw come out of his arm is what he saw go into Kagome’s mouth. It was blood, not his blood. It was gold like, and it had burned Kagome’s poor skin. It was like acid, I guess for protection form enemies, InuYasha thought bitterly.
The wound healed amazingly fast, and there had been no pain, why InuYasha did not know, but he knew this was not going to his body much longer. InuYasha shivered, why he had he been brought so low? Just a few weeks ago he had said he was bored and wanted to have a good fight. Well he got one, and it was not to his liking.
He knew that the ambitious InuYasha would want to take advantage of the powers and hunt Naraku down and kill him, but this InuYasha had been brought to his knees in despair. Kami, he sounded like his onii.
Miroku may be a Buddhist houshi but he may have never have prayed as much as InuYasha was now. He prayed for Kagome and her welfare, he prayed for Sango’s improving health, for Kikyo’s safety, and more of all his own soul.
“Oh please stop acting like a houshi.”
“Shut…”
InuYasha clamped his mouth closed; he refused to respond to Inuhidoi. He slammed his head to the wall. No pain. He had wanted to knock himself out, no avail. frack you! frack you! InuYasha screamed in his head. He refused to talk he wanted to give Inuhidoi no pleasure of responding. Damn you! I won’t forget this!
“Who are you talking to InuYasha? Me or yourself?”
Oh shut up, InuYasha thought bitterly. He ran his tongue over his huge fangs wishing they were not there. He felt the tips slightly sink into his chin every time he scrunched his face up. He bit his lip.
InuYasha heard a skittering sound and perked his ears up. He smelled the air and realized it was nothing more then a small rabbit. It ran in the cave shaking its wet fur and hopped over to the other side of the wall.
InuYasha stared at the rabbit. It was so small, and he felt tempted to eat it. Instead he found himself staring at the rabbit in wonder. That small creature did not care what it looked like, its only purpose is to live, love, and reproduce. It did not have to make others appease it but its mate. It did not care what he looked like and InuYasha was starting to enjoy the small creature’s company.
“At least nothing can cause you this much emotional pain.”
Physical pain, yes, but the pain InuYasha felt was not anything on his body. The women he promised to protect…he had forced her against her will. He had broken her spirit, and he had broken his own as well. InuYasha felt Inuhidoi was going to take him over any second. The half-God stayed in his place, in the back of InuYasha’s mind.
The rabbit shook its small body and he felt its black beady eyes glance in his direction. InuYasha looked back his red eyes burning into the small creatures mind. The rabbit didn’t mind, it nibbled at some small grass that had been lying on the hard ground. It nibbled at its food ignoring the enormous dangerous body that sat a few feet away.
InuYasha looked up at the dark ceiling of the cave. Its dark nothingness stared back at him, showing him no pity. InuYasha sighed and looked back at the small creature that took up the other part of the cave. How he wanted to have the rabbit’s emotion right know, nothing to worry about but the rain. The rabbit nibbled its grass, InuYasha felt his stomach growl. He realized he had not eaten since Kagome’s picnic. InuYasha was hungry but when Inuhidoi had been in control he felt no hunger.
InuYasha slightly hit his head against the wall over and over. He thought about what would happen if Inuhidoi if he did take his body. What would he do? Would he really go find Kikyo and kill her? Would he do…that to Kagome again? InuYasha shivered.
Moving his hand across the wall he felt his large claws barley scratch the surface. InuYasha sniffed them; he could make out the smell that had been hiding from him, until now.
The Sacred Tree, the barks distinct smell was on his claws, it meant he had also attack Sango as well. InuYasha thought, he had been human that night if Inuhidoi managed to make him a youkai on his human night InuYasha didn’t want to know what more destructive power he did have.
“Get up.”
“No.”
InuYasha tried to restrain himself from talking back but he felt he wanted to fight Inuhidoi. His blood was boiling, the sadness that he had for Kagome’s situation had boiled into a ball of rage that InuYasha could not contain any longer.
“You fracking piece of shoot should just shut up and keep to himself.”
“You’re mad I see.”
“I’m more then mad Inuhidoi I want you to rot in your own little fracking world and shut the hell up.”
“You’re mad.”
“If you say anymore I’ll chop my own head off!”
“InuYasha and what will that accomplish?”
“So you can die.”
“You would too.”
“Do I look like I care anymore?”
“I see.”
“Do you fear death Inuhidoi? Because I don’t so I have nothing to lose.”
“What would that miko do when she finds your dead body?”
“I hope she learns to love another.”
“Oh, you’re being harsh on your mate; it is rather since you are a descendant of me.”
InuYasha sat upright. Descendant?
“I am in no damn way related to you.”
“InuYasha I am your otou’s grandfather.”
“Liar.”
“InuYasha, Kami’s don’t lie.”
InuYasha hated to admit it, but Inuhidoi had sounded truthful there. He was nothing but a parasite. frack him, InuYasha grumbled.
“Believe it or not InuYasha that is up to you.”
“I believe nothing anymore.”
“I would think so.”
“YOU will NOT do THAT to KAGOME again! Do you understand me!?”
“When have you had any say in what I do?”
“You could have done whatever the frack you wanted when you had your own fracking body! This is mine, I will not let you do it again you son of a dog!”
Inuhidoi didn’t respond.
“Who’s out of fracking words now!? Hue!? You piece of rotting shoot!”
“You’re in no position to talk hanyou.”
“I HAVE ALL THE RIGHT IN THE frackING WORLD!!! You go frack yourself and die in this miserable cave!”
“InuYasha do yourself the favor and shut up.”
“Make me fracker.”
InuYasha had never been more infuriated in his life. He could feel his own anger coming off him in waves. He clenched his fist and whirled his arm and sank all five of his claws into his left wing. He heard Inuhidoi’s hiss of anger.
“MOVE.”
InuYasha felt the wrath of Inuhidoi coming up and suddenly felt the darkness fall back around him again. InuYasha was not happy Inuhidoi was back in control but it was going to happen sooner or later.
InuYasha glared out through his trapped eyes at the rabbit. It still had not moved. He felt his body stand up and move his hand along the wall as Inuhidoi made his body emerge from the cave. The rain pondered on his body, but InuYasha felt nothing; he doubted Inuhidoi felt it either.
InuYasha feared for Kagome. He was going to do it again, but this time InuYasha would stop him, he had found Inuhidoi’s weakness…his wings.
InuYasha begged for the tears to come, they did not. He cried in himself with everything he had. He couldn’t cry with this cursed body that Inuhidoi had made for him. InuYasha had seen Kagome’s face, and it ate every part of his soul. It was sick what Inuhidoi had done to her, and he could do nothing to stop the half-God.
“InuYasha, what is the world to you now? I feel annoyed that woman brought you back in control.”
InuYasha said nothing, he continued on running. InuYasha felt no need to rest, he felt like he could run like this forever until he found the pit of Hell itself. He wanted to die; Kagome the one person he promised to protect with his life could not protect her from his own claws.
He felt the wings throb behind him, but the pain was nothing but pure bliss to InuYasha. InuYasha was running into his own eaten soul. Oh Kagome, please forgive me, I can’t see you again InuYasha thought.
He had left her unconscious on the forest floor, open for other dangers, but he knew nothing could be more worse then himself. He hoped Kouga or Sesshomaru would find her. Kouga you can have her, InuYasha thought, she does not deserve a low-life like me.
InuYasha felt the wind change and the rolling of clouds overhead. Rain was coming, and InuYasha desperately wanted to turn back and take Kagome to shelter. But she was better off without him, how could he look at her the same way again? He raped her! It sickened his every thought and every inch of his body.
frack you Inuhidoi, InuYasha thought. You can take my damn body if you want, but taking Kagome’s spirit? Hell no! Just run InuYasha, just run until you can’t run anymore.
The thunder rumbled above as small drops of rain pelted down on his bare body. He had been in such a hurry to get away from Kagome, that he left his fire rath pants, or what was left of them, in the clearing. He didn’t care if he had no clothes, he felt barer in his on body then on the outside.
InuYasha could not jump in great leaps like he used to do, the damn wings behind him held the weight down and made it impossible to jump very high. InuYasha had no idea why those things were even there, he felt tempted to cut them off, but he knew it would be just like cutting a leg or an arm off.
He was glad Inuhidoi was quiet, and if he talked, then InuYasha would do what Kagome did all the time, gives him the silent treatment. He knew Inuhidoi could read thoughts, so InuYasha decided to keep his mind as blank as possible. But not thinking was giving him a headache. He though about getting shelter from the rain first.
Sniffing the air InuYasha could feel an empty space in the cliff of a mountain ahead of him. Inuhidoi’s senses were above any that InuYasha had ever had. He could even smell Sesshomaru from here, even thought his onii must be extremely far away.
The mountain came into view and InuYasha didn’t stop running until he was safe in the cave. He wanted to stay here until he died. InuYasha found a nice moist spot in the corner of the dark cave, it was uninhabited and InuYasha was glad. He sat down and curled into a ball, his wings hanging off to the sides.
Crying was not going to come, so he let the rain be his tears. The rain he hoped had pelted Kagome’s beautiful face. He had hurt her, it was his fault he could do nothing but watch. He had been expected to be panting for breath for running such a long ways, but his body didn’t even show a hint of exhaustion.
InuYasha glared at the black wings that hung from his side, he hated them. They were nothing more then a disgusting reminder of what Inuhidoi was. InuYasha cracked his claws, oh he wanted to chop them off of his back and bleed to death. He didn’t care.
“Bad idea.”
InuYasha ignored him. The strong words he once had for Inuhidoi were gone in one instant. InuYasha stayed silent.
“If you really want to die, then break.”
InuYasha was half tempted to snap back at him, he was not going to break and let Inuhidoi have his body to do what he pleased. InuYasha bit his lip and buried his head in his knees. Damn you, why don’t you cry?
He felt the slight movement from one of his wings; they were so different from everything else. When he had seen everyone look at them they all had the same face, even Sesshomaru had looked at him in fear. InuYasha was glad for one thing, Sango was alright, thanks to Myoga. He had no idea the old was flea was with them, and was glad that Sango’s death was not on his hands.
InuYasha’s ears flinched at every sound. He could hear a bug crawling from miles away, his hearing was that powerful. He would know if any of his companions even came a few miles from him.
InuYasha leaned his head against the wall of the cave. The cave itself even reflected his mood. The walls were wet like tears were shedding on his cheeks. It was cold and bare like his body, and it was small, like InuYasha felt against Inuhidoi’s massive power.
He closed his eyes, their red core not wanting to seen by even the air. He wanted to be a child again in his mother’s arms. He wanted her sweet comfort that he knew Kagome or Kikyo would ever give him again.
Kikyo, Inuhidoi said she would be the first to die once he broke. Oh Kikyo please help Kagome, help her through that living hell I put her though. Tessaiga, his otou’s fang wanted to be in his hands. He wanted to feel the comfort of the otou he never knew. Even Sesshomaru made InuYasha think that his onii was not that cold hearted. InuYasha would not mind if was in a fit of tears in Sesshomaru’s arm.
What he had done to Kagome was inexcusable. He would never see her again, even if he managed to kill Inuhidoi, how would she look at him? He raped her, it was not in a way he wanted, she was a companion, he hadn’t have thoughts of being even mates yet. Kagome was someone to protect, he was not ready to love her like that yet. Even Kikyo, InuYasha thought, he never had those lusted feelings for anyone of those miko’s before.
No! It was Inuhidoi’s lusted feelings! Not his! InuYasha had no feelings for anyone like that, those feelings were disgusting and under him. Call yourself a half-God? InuYasha thought angrily, your nothing more then a pathetic lusting fouled up pig.
InuYasha expected to hear Inuhidoi’s laughter, but the half-God stayed silent. InuYasha looked at the finger he knew Kagome had bitten. There was no marks where Kagome’s teeth had sunken through his skin, oh Kagome, she was so desperate she had tried to use force to keep him away.
InuYasha sunk one of his claws into his arm, and what he saw come out of his arm is what he saw go into Kagome’s mouth. It was blood, not his blood. It was gold like, and it had burned Kagome’s poor skin. It was like acid, I guess for protection form enemies, InuYasha thought bitterly.
The wound healed amazingly fast, and there had been no pain, why InuYasha did not know, but he knew this was not going to his body much longer. InuYasha shivered, why he had he been brought so low? Just a few weeks ago he had said he was bored and wanted to have a good fight. Well he got one, and it was not to his liking.
He knew that the ambitious InuYasha would want to take advantage of the powers and hunt Naraku down and kill him, but this InuYasha had been brought to his knees in despair. Kami, he sounded like his onii.
Miroku may be a Buddhist houshi but he may have never have prayed as much as InuYasha was now. He prayed for Kagome and her welfare, he prayed for Sango’s improving health, for Kikyo’s safety, and more of all his own soul.
“Oh please stop acting like a houshi.”
“Shut…”
InuYasha clamped his mouth closed; he refused to respond to Inuhidoi. He slammed his head to the wall. No pain. He had wanted to knock himself out, no avail. frack you! frack you! InuYasha screamed in his head. He refused to talk he wanted to give Inuhidoi no pleasure of responding. Damn you! I won’t forget this!
“Who are you talking to InuYasha? Me or yourself?”
Oh shut up, InuYasha thought bitterly. He ran his tongue over his huge fangs wishing they were not there. He felt the tips slightly sink into his chin every time he scrunched his face up. He bit his lip.
InuYasha heard a skittering sound and perked his ears up. He smelled the air and realized it was nothing more then a small rabbit. It ran in the cave shaking its wet fur and hopped over to the other side of the wall.
InuYasha stared at the rabbit. It was so small, and he felt tempted to eat it. Instead he found himself staring at the rabbit in wonder. That small creature did not care what it looked like, its only purpose is to live, love, and reproduce. It did not have to make others appease it but its mate. It did not care what he looked like and InuYasha was starting to enjoy the small creature’s company.
“At least nothing can cause you this much emotional pain.”
Physical pain, yes, but the pain InuYasha felt was not anything on his body. The women he promised to protect…he had forced her against her will. He had broken her spirit, and he had broken his own as well. InuYasha felt Inuhidoi was going to take him over any second. The half-God stayed in his place, in the back of InuYasha’s mind.
The rabbit shook its small body and he felt its black beady eyes glance in his direction. InuYasha looked back his red eyes burning into the small creatures mind. The rabbit didn’t mind, it nibbled at some small grass that had been lying on the hard ground. It nibbled at its food ignoring the enormous dangerous body that sat a few feet away.
InuYasha looked up at the dark ceiling of the cave. Its dark nothingness stared back at him, showing him no pity. InuYasha sighed and looked back at the small creature that took up the other part of the cave. How he wanted to have the rabbit’s emotion right know, nothing to worry about but the rain. The rabbit nibbled its grass, InuYasha felt his stomach growl. He realized he had not eaten since Kagome’s picnic. InuYasha was hungry but when Inuhidoi had been in control he felt no hunger.
InuYasha slightly hit his head against the wall over and over. He thought about what would happen if Inuhidoi if he did take his body. What would he do? Would he really go find Kikyo and kill her? Would he do…that to Kagome again? InuYasha shivered.
Moving his hand across the wall he felt his large claws barley scratch the surface. InuYasha sniffed them; he could make out the smell that had been hiding from him, until now.
The Sacred Tree, the barks distinct smell was on his claws, it meant he had also attack Sango as well. InuYasha thought, he had been human that night if Inuhidoi managed to make him a youkai on his human night InuYasha didn’t want to know what more destructive power he did have.
“Get up.”
“No.”
InuYasha tried to restrain himself from talking back but he felt he wanted to fight Inuhidoi. His blood was boiling, the sadness that he had for Kagome’s situation had boiled into a ball of rage that InuYasha could not contain any longer.
“You fracking piece of shoot should just shut up and keep to himself.”
“You’re mad I see.”
“I’m more then mad Inuhidoi I want you to rot in your own little fracking world and shut the hell up.”
“You’re mad.”
“If you say anymore I’ll chop my own head off!”
“InuYasha and what will that accomplish?”
“So you can die.”
“You would too.”
“Do I look like I care anymore?”
“I see.”
“Do you fear death Inuhidoi? Because I don’t so I have nothing to lose.”
“What would that miko do when she finds your dead body?”
“I hope she learns to love another.”
“Oh, you’re being harsh on your mate; it is rather since you are a descendant of me.”
InuYasha sat upright. Descendant?
“I am in no damn way related to you.”
“InuYasha I am your otou’s grandfather.”
“Liar.”
“InuYasha, Kami’s don’t lie.”
InuYasha hated to admit it, but Inuhidoi had sounded truthful there. He was nothing but a parasite. frack him, InuYasha grumbled.
“Believe it or not InuYasha that is up to you.”
“I believe nothing anymore.”
“I would think so.”
“YOU will NOT do THAT to KAGOME again! Do you understand me!?”
“When have you had any say in what I do?”
“You could have done whatever the frack you wanted when you had your own fracking body! This is mine, I will not let you do it again you son of a dog!”
Inuhidoi didn’t respond.
“Who’s out of fracking words now!? Hue!? You piece of rotting shoot!”
“You’re in no position to talk hanyou.”
“I HAVE ALL THE RIGHT IN THE frackING WORLD!!! You go frack yourself and die in this miserable cave!”
“InuYasha do yourself the favor and shut up.”
“Make me fracker.”
InuYasha had never been more infuriated in his life. He could feel his own anger coming off him in waves. He clenched his fist and whirled his arm and sank all five of his claws into his left wing. He heard Inuhidoi’s hiss of anger.
“MOVE.”
InuYasha felt the wrath of Inuhidoi coming up and suddenly felt the darkness fall back around him again. InuYasha was not happy Inuhidoi was back in control but it was going to happen sooner or later.
InuYasha glared out through his trapped eyes at the rabbit. It still had not moved. He felt his body stand up and move his hand along the wall as Inuhidoi made his body emerge from the cave. The rain pondered on his body, but InuYasha felt nothing; he doubted Inuhidoi felt it either.
InuYasha feared for Kagome. He was going to do it again, but this time InuYasha would stop him, he had found Inuhidoi’s weakness…his wings.
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