Chapter 2 - Pretzels

This is Chapter 2. Isn’t it incredible…WOOT!!! :D Lets all do a happy dance! HAPPEH DANCE! Ok, now that that’s over with, I think I’ll start on the actual story. Starting next chapter I’ll be hosting people in the fic. So don’t expect anyone in here, because there aren’t. It’s just our same 2 Joe Shmoes and companions. LET THE RETARDEDNESS….BEGIN!!


Chapter 2 -Pretzels?

“So you say that they can tap into your DREAMS?” Dib scratches his head in confusion. “Yes, that’s right. Everything you dream, fear, or even vaguely think about. They can take your most horrid delusions and made them reality,” Zim tries to add to the eerie idea by wiggling in fingers in a spooky manner. Dib raises an eyebrow, “Yeeaaah…well…I doubt its anything we can’t handle. I mean, if we can hardly beat each other then that must mean that we are really strong together, right?”
“Either that or we’re both the biggest pussies in the world….” Zim smirks sarcastically. Dib sighs, “Who taught you that word?” He puts his hands on his hips in a motherly fashion. “Oh the power of the INTERNET my dear Dib. It has taught me many words that can come in handy on this planet. One I seem to recall was used to tell someone to go away…I think it was ‘something…off’…started with an ‘F’ I think…” Zim turns towards the screen behind him to look it up. “URBAN DICTIONARY? YOU DON’T NEED THAT!” Dib shuts off the screen violently. “You’re going to be corrupted just like every other child on this planet…” (Authors note- I!!! *raises hand*)
“I am no human child, DIB. I am…err…WAS an Irken Invader for Operation Impending Doom 2.” Zim stops a foot forward proudly and raises a pointing finger into the air. “No you weren’t,” Dib chuckles. Zim’s arm goes limp as he slinks over to the nearest seat. “At least I thought I was…” Zim gives off a long sigh. “I’m sorry; I have no idea how hard that must be on you. WELL, look at me! My entire race hates me for saving them multiple times and trying to keep the planet intact. At least you’re hated for something reasonable!” Dib throws his arms in the air to further emphasize his sentence. “As pitiful as that is, you are absolutely right. I don’t feel so bad any-” A crash from the house level interrupts Zim, “more?”
He looks up the elevator shaft to see smoke and pieces of the house falling onto his face, making tiny nicks and cuts. “OW!” Zim shakes his head to get the splinters off. “Oh…shoot…” Dib looks up at the ceiling to see that it is…well…NOT THERE. Instead there is a huge red light coming from the hole in the ground above them. “What? What do you s- HOLY COW!!!” Zim turns around to also note the GIANT GAPING HOLE in his roof.
Slowly the large object lowered itself into the repair room, blinding our poor victims. “MY EYES!!!! I’M BLIND!!!!” Zim runs around in circles screaming words of pain and some things that just aren’t words. “SILENCE SLABS OF FILTH!! You are going to go through the most EXCRUTIATING, HORRIBLE, UNBEARABLE, and downright itchy experience of your LIVES.” A booming voice comes from the light. “Itchy?” Dib raises an eyebrow at the thing above him. “Yes, Itchy, NOW TO MY POINT!! We are going to twist you every which way until you can taste your asses in each others mouths.” The machine wiggles with scariness as Zim and Dib just stare at it. “Like Pretzels??” Zim grins up at it.

Dib gives Zim the ‘man, you’re an idiot’ glare. The voice pauses, “Eh? Oh whatever. YES I WILL TURN YOU INTO PRETZELS!!” It echoes. “What kind of pretzels?” Zim smiles again. “Umm…Uhhh…CHEESE…I DUNNO…” The voice grunts randomly afterwards. “YOU’RE RUINING MY MOMENT!! I’M BEING EVIL AND YOU’RE SPOILING IT!!!” The voice whines like a child. Zim just smiles some more and Dib begins tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. “If you’re going to torture us then get on with it already!!” Dib waves his hands around in the usual fashion.
“Fine, fine. Ok, so would you prefer to be tortured TOGETHER or INDIVIDUALLY?” The light dims. “TIONGDEITVHIEDRUALLY!!” Zim yells individually and Dib yells together. “Together” Dib clarifies. “What’s wrong with you? Do you really want to be out there on your own??” Dib glares over at Zim. “DIB!! Do you see what you’ve done?? When captors ask that question it’s because they want to know if you-” Shackles are slapped onto their wrists, tying them together. “Want to be chained or not…” Zim finishes. Dib looks down in shame at his misunderstanding. “It’s alright, you didn’t know…” Zim pats his shoulder. “ON WITH THE HORRORS!!!” The voice cackles and the red light envelopes them as they float slowly into the large obnoxious ship above them.


AND I END HERE!!! BECAUSE IM TIRED OF WRITING!!

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