Chapter 13 - as i used to
Submitted December 1, 2003 Updated January 31, 2004 Status Incomplete | Just a collection of my poems and songs. They're dark, spooky, angst-ridden, but people like them. They're not all that way, so just rifle through them and see what you can find.
Category:
Fantasy » Misc. Fantasy |
Chapter 13 - as i used to
Chapter 13 - as i used to
as i used to
my life is not as painful as it could be
in most ways i'm lucky to still breathe
but my eyes have seen what should never be
and my heart is breaking
my dreams ravage my sleep
and my nightmares give me peace
because in my nightmares i know the sweet release of death
but in my dreams i am torn with the love for you
the love I harbor inside me
never speaking, but always knowing
and even if you loved me
i'd have to leave and never come back
i'd marry the boy who loves me
i'd shield myself from the pain
but i'd never really be happy
they call me a queen and lift me on their shoulders
exalt me and praise, saying
look at this girl, this woman,
who has brought us out of our sorrows
but then why can i not take away my own sorrows?
why do i not feel like a queen?
why do i not feel like a woman
but like a small child alone in the dark?
i'm so afraid of what will happen
i tell myself i do not fear death but in my heart i do
i tell myself i can live without you but i can't
i'll just be a ghost of what i am now
the ghost of a ghost
i'm calling out to you to love me while there's still hope
i'm waiting for your answer
the echo of my voice rings in the canyon
it's laden with weariness
and worn away with tears
my once lovely voice has become so weak
i can no longer sing to the wind, to the earth,
as i used to
i can no longer sing of hope, of love,
as i used to...
my life is not as painful as it could be
in most ways i'm lucky to still breathe
but my eyes have seen what should never be
and my heart is breaking
my dreams ravage my sleep
and my nightmares give me peace
because in my nightmares i know the sweet release of death
but in my dreams i am torn with the love for you
the love I harbor inside me
never speaking, but always knowing
and even if you loved me
i'd have to leave and never come back
i'd marry the boy who loves me
i'd shield myself from the pain
but i'd never really be happy
they call me a queen and lift me on their shoulders
exalt me and praise, saying
look at this girl, this woman,
who has brought us out of our sorrows
but then why can i not take away my own sorrows?
why do i not feel like a queen?
why do i not feel like a woman
but like a small child alone in the dark?
i'm so afraid of what will happen
i tell myself i do not fear death but in my heart i do
i tell myself i can live without you but i can't
i'll just be a ghost of what i am now
the ghost of a ghost
i'm calling out to you to love me while there's still hope
i'm waiting for your answer
the echo of my voice rings in the canyon
it's laden with weariness
and worn away with tears
my once lovely voice has become so weak
i can no longer sing to the wind, to the earth,
as i used to
i can no longer sing of hope, of love,
as i used to...
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KeiraNightstorm on January 24, 2004, 7:33:49 AM
ack!! **dreamsKeiraNightstorm on January 24, 2004, 7:33:33 AM
*dream'sKeiraNightstorm on January 23, 2004, 1:42:45 PM
this is sorta a different version of dreams... i used a similar line in them both, about the dremas an' nightmares...