Chapter 1 - Hao!

Follow him around chanting Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar 
 
 
 Follow him aroundchanting Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Hao stole the cookie fromthe cookie jar!

 Ask loudlywhere babies come from. Keep asking him even if he claims he won’t tell you.
 On the off chance he getsfrustrated enough to tell you where babies come from (previously mentionedabove), look offended and claim he’s not taking you seriously.
 Whenever he’s done sayingsomething snigger and say, Yeah, like well ever believe that! verysarcastically.
 Whenever anyone asks you about him say proudly, Were allvery proud of him- all of us in the insanity response unit, that is- we justgot him potty trained, too.
 Point and laugh at him whenever he passes you.
 Clearly in view, smack yourself on the head with somethinghard, then throw it by Hao and claim loudly that he has hurt you.
 Kick him in the shins at random moments whenhe is not looking, and then run away.
 Wake him up early in the early hours of themorning with a bucket of water…….
 
 
 
Cold water.
 Put his hand in warm water while he’ssleeping.
 Cut his hair while he’s sleeping. See if he faints.
 Make a comment about how he’s putting on alittle poundage and see if he still continues to eat regularly.
 Spread outlandish rumors about him. (Ex: I heard that toget out of prison once, the guards made him dress up as a girl and pout.)
 Mimic him in an especially childish waywhenever he speaks.
 Ask him why he isn’t as cool or good-lookingas Yoh.
 Whenever you discuss Hao's strange behavioraround you with others, always refer to him as she.
 Replace all his clothes with dresses (or anyother clothes that are obviously intended for a woman). Admittedly, some of thefun is sapped out of the joke because he can always get new clothes, but itwill still be entertaining to watch him try to explain his predicament to thesales person.
 Make up his own theme song and sing itwhenever he passes by you, or triumphs, or walks, or eats, or breaths, or doseanything at all.
(Ex: Helikes to fight
Becausehe can
He’llcry If he can’t
…..wait,are we sure[/i] he’s a man?)
 (In relation to above) When he threatens to burnout your tongue if you continue to sing his theme song, smile say, Oh allright, and begin to hum it.
 
 Offer him gum from one of those trick packs(you know, the ones that shock you or snap your fingers with a mini mousetrap).
 Play knock and run at his bedroom door. When heinevitably refuses to answer, open the door, step in and holler Lucy! I’m hooomme!
 (In relation to everything on this list) Whenhe tries to attack you and must be forcefully restrained, sigh and say, “Ialways said he was insane. I’ve known it for years”, even if you’ve only methim last month.
 
 

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