Chapter 3 - Fascinating Facts About Itachi Uchiha.

Fascinating Facts About Itachi Uchiha.

1) Itachi's tears can cure cancer....Too bad he has never cried.
2) Itachi does not sleep. He waits.
3) Itachi counted to infinity--twice.
4) Itachi sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and amazing Sharingan ability. Shortly after the transition was finalized, Itachi kicked the devil in the face and took back his soul. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of every month.
5) If you can see Itachi, he can see you. If you can't see Itachi, you may be only seconds away from death.
6) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every day he checks his closet for Itachi.
7) When Itachi sends in his taxes, he sends in blank forms and includes only a pic of himself crouched and ready to attack. Itachi has never had to pay taxes ever.
8) Itachi has already been to Mars; thats why there's no signs of life.
9) Itachi can touch MC Hammer.
10) Itachi sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Itachi.
11) A blind man once stepped on Itachi's shoe. Itachi replied, "You who havenever measured your own capablities; have no idea of Itachi's." The mere mention of his name cured this man of his blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal kick delivered by Itachi.
12) They once made an Itachi toilet paper, but it wouldn't take s*** from anybody.
13) Itachi ordered a Big Mac from Burger King and got one.
14) Itachi appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do an instant kill attack.
15) Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he diedbecause of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Itachi tendon.
16) If Itachi is late, time better slow the f*** down.
17) According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Itachi can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
18) Itachi died 10 years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
19) Itachi does not hunt because the word hunt infers the probablity of failure. Itachi goes killing.
20) Itachi is the reason the Kyuubi's hiding in Naruto.
21) Itachi got into the Akatsuki not because he killed his clan, but because the Akatsuki didn't want Itachi as an enemy.
22) Kisame is blue because Itachi scared him so bad the first time they met that his skin never recovered from being so pale.
23) What are the 3 leading causes of Death in the ninja world? 1) War. 2) Itachi. 3) Cancer.
24) Ninjas don't kill people. Itachi Uchiha kills people.
25) Itachi is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
26) Itachi can speak Braille.
27) Itachi doesn't use pick up lines he simply says, "Now."
28) Itachi doesn't play hide-and-seek...he plays hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you.
29) Itachi doesn't dodge kunai's...kunai's dodge him.
30) If you have 500 yen and Itachi has 500 yen, Itachi has more money than you.

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