Chapter 2 - The Wild Wednesday

Tales of Oddity and Doom
Volume 1, The Wild Wednesday

Cast:
Georgeo Satary, Narrator
Bob Bohaganababa
Pete Meathead
Tacky Giant

Every Wednesday night a couple of friends and I would drive down to the bar for a quick drink, soon to be followed by watching a marathon of those old horror movies (they make us laugh at what people back then were scared of ). But today was different, as usual we would walk back to my car to go home, but at that moment Clumsy old Bob had to trip over himself& Sigh.

This really didnt surprise me because 9 out of 10 times youll probably see him trip over him self in a week. Then I became surprised, because he actually tripped over some thing growing right out of the side walk. It was a small green plant; it kind of looked like a weed or something like that. And as I stood there looking at the small thing it starts to grow like crazy, I mean one moment its like two inches tall and than the next its about as big as a skyscraper. But it didnt stop there, cuz I could see the bottom of the plant sprouting upwards, Now one thing I notice besides the plant is that Bobs Jabbering on and on about Giant beanstalks and I tell him to put a sock in it.

But like the Beanstalk, Bob wouldnt stop, and then I noticed that that Pete just disappeared? So I blurted out

Hey wheres Pete? Suddenly Bob shut his trap and muttered the words
His pants mustve got caught on one of the vines, causing him to be pulled up So I said
Ouch... Wouldnt he fall if they ripped?

So now Bob started telling me we have to rescue Pete and Im stupidly asked
Do we have to?
Georgeo!!!

Next thing I know is that Im dragging some heavy bag up the Beanstalk and Im yelling at Bob!
What did you pack in this stupid thing!?
My collection of sea shells
And why do we need them?
I dunno
So I got cheesed off and I dropped the bag, But when I dropped it Bob immediately leaped after it into the clouds. All I can say is that I never heard him scream or yell at me while he was falling& No pain, no loss as I like to say.
So then I just kept climbing and trying to forget about the dizzy heights. As I climbed I kept wondering that if was Bob dead yet because we were up pretty high when he fell.

Finally I got to the top and I was really out of breath and my heart was beating really fast. So I rested for a couple of minutes and then looked for Pete. But I all I could find was clouds and something blurry in the background, so I walked to that. When I got close I realized that it was this giant mansion, and boy was it big& I was wondering how It got there, Pete probably built it so he could survive up here& but from what material? Eh screw it

I had finally arrived at the house but it turned out that the mansion just looked big from the distance, it was about as big as my body and it probably weighed a pound or two. And thats when I noticed that this was just a bird feeder and the house behind it was the one I saw ( I felt like an idiot). I started to look at the house and I felt about as big as a mouse compared to this gigantic house (I really felt like I was a small parasite compared to it though).

When I finally got to the door I just started to think that Id never be able to find Pete in this house, but as I thought I accidentally knocked (still an idiot) Even if I knocked the door with a sledge hammer no one would be able to hear me, so the first genius idea of the day that came from me was look into the window.

So I climbed up the gutter and I jumped off it onto the windowsill. I tried to look in but it was too dark and next thing I know Im feeling something tapping me on the back. So I quickly turned around to see Bob standing next with that dumb bag of stupid sea shells.
How did you get here? I had asked in surprise
Well thats because- FEE-FI-FO-FUM! came a very loud voice from the distance
What was that I whispered to Bob.
I dunno& Bob had said in confusion.
Ya know theres a whole rack of stuff you probably dont know Bob
But now I saw it and I wish I had never seen it because it was one of the most but-ugly things that I may have ever seen in my life! It was a giant guy wearing this disgusting pink frilly dress with hot pink make-up and high heels to match.
FEE-FI-FO-FEET he yelled
You guys look yummy enough to eat!
This guy rhymes as bad as he dresses in public Said Bob in a slow whisper
Oh yeah!? said the Giant in an angry voice then your almost as dumb as your stupid sea shell collection
How did he know about your collection? I asked
Thats what I have to tell you, this is all part of- But he never finished because the giant grabbed him and ate him in one big bight (stupid interruptions making me have to wait on the plot).
Now its your turn! said the Giant, but before he could grab me I jumped off the Windowsill, while I fell I randomly guessed on what to do before I fell to my own death. Thats when I fell onto the ground, and I hardly injured myself!

Because of that miracle I was all like what the heck and wow, did that just happen So pretty much while I was talking to myself I was just mindlessly sitting there. So you would guess that I was eaten by the evil, but tacky giant.

Well youre wrong! I had just noticed that Bob had left his stupid sea shell collection behind. So I grabbed a handful of sea shells and dropped them on the ground in front of the giant. And due to his stupid behavior he stepped on the shells and tripped over them. So I kept throwing the stupid things at him while I made snappy (and stupid) remarks like
Eat sea shells!!! And Kill him my pretties.
But my ammunition of those stupid shells was running low so I
turned around to get some more and thats when I saw& Bob!? He was standing right next to the bag yelling loudly at me
HEY, those are valuable collectables!
HOW THE HELL DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK!? IM SO FRIGGEN CONFUSED!!
Well the thing is that none of this is real, its just fantasy
What do you mean Bob, all of this is completely real, I hurt my butt from climbing the stalk and its still sore&
And thats when I started to sink through the cloud we were all standing on. I wasnt really sure of what was happening but I can tell you I started to fall really fast, and I was almost sure that I was going to die, but I didnt. It was blackness, you know the kind that you see when your eyes are closed and youre trying to sleep& Wait, Im asleep!!! I just gotta open my eyes and Ill wake up!
So I opened my eyes to see Bob and Pete staring at me, looking a bit freaked out.
You ok? Pete had asked.
I think so, I just cant get off the feeling that my but hurts&
Thank god, I thought you were in a coma after all that beer that you drank&
COMA?! I just climbed a friggen beanstalk to find you, and Bob got eaten by a giant wearing a pink frilly dress!!!
Who Buddy, I dont think that youre sober yet& we better getcha home, we could probably watch some Batman and thatll fix ya up&
Good ole Batman can do anything, cant he? Bob then said.
But it was so real& I had said.
Yes, and so are celebrities faces in Hollywood Pete had remarked. So we got into my car, and Pete started to drive us to my house, but as we drove away from the bar, I coulda sworn that I saw something green out of the corner of my eyes.

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