Chapter 1 - Lizzard Queeng's History

uhhh.... you fear me!!! I was born where only chickenssurvive...and the Naked Mole rats that were cloned with the genetic spores ofthe last republican presidents,,, and the "DUBYA" These naked Dubyasare our only source of food, vicious terrifying little frackers, these bastardswill stop at nothing when cornered. Me and my friends the "chickens"hunt them down, their death cry is known far and wide "weapons of massdestruction,,, weapons of mass destruction!!! AAAHCH,,, AAAAHCC,,,""AAACH",OOHHY,,,OWCH,OWCH,OWCH,,eh, assassination ,eh,,,AAAAAAHC!",,,,,bastards take a long time to die and even cut up in the frying pan you can't besure they’re really "dead" till after you eat them. Even then theindigestion is terrible, the great gouts of flatulent gas that incidentallybuild up are quite painfully, upon release they always form words, strange lieslike "hey, Saddam's right behind you!!" or "you ARE safernow!" Life on that world was a dog, but I, the great uhhh um eh,er,,uh,ME!!! can do anything!!!! AND... ON...THIS... WORLD... I will be the LizzardQueeng!!! So you might be cool, but do you sink like rock when thRown into theocean????...I know from personal experience.....OOOH,,,,, shoot I feel thevortex drawing me back.....yoooooz......guuuuuuuuyz.........suuuuuuuuck.....

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