Chapter 1 - Part 1 & 2

„Damn…it's cold outside…“ Raven muttered into her cloak and walked behind Starfire and Robin. They decided to go to the shopping mall - and god, raven didn't know why she went with them. But now there was no turning back. Her indigo-coloured eyes stared at Robin's hand. It seemed like he tried to hold hands with Starfire but the red-haired girl was too busy with window-shopping.



`Oh yeah… how great… Now I can watch how he is going to take what I desire…' Her thoughts were spinning in different directions; she remembered a lot of scenes where she had the chance to show feelings to Starfire. But every time she hid her face and began to demonstrate how stupid she was. Her emotions were caged inside her, she didn't want to let them out - better: she COULDN'T. This wasn't possible. No - not really. Raven was jealous of the Team Leader?



Raven shook her head and pulled the cloak lower into her face, just the shapes of her indigo eyes were visible. It was a kind of self-protection to her. No one should see, what she was thinking or reflecting on her face. The girl always wanted to be more open minded… but oh well… fate was cruel to those who didn't deserve it.



“Raven? Are you ok?” Starfire stopped and turned around. The red-haired watched the girl obviously and Raven felt like she would melt anytime. `God I wish the ground would gorge me…', she thought and went a few steps back. Her face was glowing. “It's… it's alright, Koriand'r…”, she stuttered and closed her eyes, tried to smile - but she know how pathetic it looked. Starfire came closer. “Don't you feel well? Do you want to go back?”, she asked and put her hand on Raven's shoulder. The touched part of her body began to burn like fire, Raven tried to get Star's hand off her and closed her eyes. The red-haired understood and looked quite sad at her. “Ok… but you don't have to go with us when you don't feel well… just wanted you to know that…” - “I know Starfire… and I'd like to join you… I… I just had not enough time to meditate you know… it was a hard week…”-“Come on, girls! We won't get younger when we still stand around!”, Robin yelled from the Arcade-Café and raised his hands.



“Video-games?” Raven raised her eyebrow. `We have a console at home and this jerk passes his chance to hang out with Starfire?' In thoughts the girl was ready to slap Robin's face. He was really like a kid into her eyes and wondered HOW he could be the leader of the Titans. In her opinion Robin had too less of the qualities a leader usually needs to be one. `You ARE jealous, Raven… but why? Just because he has a few inches more than you?' “I'm not jealous, damn it!”, she muttered and trudged scowling into the direction of that Café, but then she felt a hand in hers. She turned her head and was shocked about the fact that Starfire was the one who held her hand. “Wha…what are you doing?”, she asked embarrassed. Starfire smiled and hushed - but then she looked curious at Raven. “Want to get outside? I don't think that Robin will need us that fast…”



Raven smiled shy and nodded. “Boys… always the same breed…”, she answered with low voice and walked beside Starfire to the patio of the shopping-mall. This time… it could be her chance. And she had to pick it!



“Isn't the view amazing, Raven?” Starfire leaned against the frame of the patio and smiled. Raven chuckled and watched the red-haired girl. The wind was playing with some streaks of her hair. The whole situation seemed to be so unreal to Raven. Maybe it was a dream but she wasn't sure about.



“Koriand'r?” - “Huh?” Starfire turned around and looked curiously at the girl next to her. “Do I disturb…today?” Raven asked and blushed in the next moment. “Disturbing? No… why? You're my dearest friend… you never disturb…” Starfire answered and smiled that sweet that Raven had to fight with herself not to hug that girl. “I… was guessing… nothing more…”, she muttered and began to clutch the frame of the patio tight with her hands. “It's just… Robin never walked with us together to the mall yet… so I thought… you and Robin got a… date…” The last part of the sentence was spoken with low voice, but Starfire heard it.



The red-haired wondered. “No… we don't have a date… I really like him… but well… I don't think that he is part of my fate…”, she answered and closed her eyes. “There is someone who means much more to me, Raven…” Starfire lifted Raven's cloak carefully and smiled. “Why do you always hide your face?” The girl blushed and closed her eyes. “you know the reason why…”, she answered in a calm, yet softly voice.



Starfire began to chuckle. “I know that reason too well, Rae… but to be honest: You are so wonderful on the inside… so why don't you show it on the outside?” Starfire's fingers ran through Raven's purple hair, she smiled and got closer. “You are so beautiful… don't hide it…” - “I have to… boys can be cruel… boys are just animals hunting for their pleasures and hurting girls…” Raven whispered and tried to pull the cloak into her face again, but Starfire clutched her hands and watched her seriously. “That's true, Rae… but you should be proud about, what you've got…” She fixed Raven's indigo eyes; there was a moment of frightening silence between both girls. Raven's lips began to shiver as Starfire got closer to her, green eyes pierced hers like a dagger - she knew that the red-haired was searching for an answer into her eyes, because they were like an opened book to her.



“Don't look at me like this…” Raven whispered quite helpless and tried to shy away from the girl but she wasn't able to move. “I just want to know what hunts your thoughts like this… you seem to be so anxiously…” - “Believe me… you don't want… to know…” Raven harrumphed and turned her face away from Starfire, felt the burning heat on her pale skin as she was blushing. “Rae… I want to know… don't you trust me?”



“I trust you, Starfire… but… I think you… just won't to hear that…”



Part 2



“I will listen to you… whatever you say, Raven…” Starfire answered and smiled. “You just don't know what you're saying now… you will… hate me…” Raven muttered and turned her face away, she stared into the panoramic view where she could see the whole city and the sea. “Why should I?” the Read-haired was wondering about Raven's statement. She approached and hugged Raven from her backside. Her head rested on the shoulder of the girl, Raven's body was set on fire. She gasped and tried to break away from Starfire but then she closed her eyes and tired to enjoy that strange feeling. It was a situation she was always dreaming about - but now it felt unfamiliar to the girl. “You shiver… are you cold?” Starfire whispered and amplified her hug. “Please… get off me…”, Raven whispered with pressed voice and felt how the contact decreased slowly.



Raven's face turned more and more reddish as she tried to hide under her hood - waiting for Starfire trying to stop her. But there was no reaction, so she pulled down the hood and turned around. A strange brightness was in the shape of indigo-eyes… they got something dreamy in it. Starfire giggled softly. “Was it the first time someone hugged you? You're acting so strange…” Raven gasped and tried to keep her poker-face but it seemed impossible to do, so she hushed and turned to the door. But her inner self boiled. Although it felt a bit uncomfortable to her, the hug was something special. She couldn't remember any other person than her mother who gave hugs to her. She was lost on thoughts as she went downstairs; Starfire had to take care to follow the girl.



“So… may you tell me now what are you dealing with?” Starfires voice scared Raven out of her mental world. Raven hushed and removed some of her purple hairstreaks out of her face. “Well… was there ever a moment I wasn't thinking of something?”, she whispered and dropped down her eyebrows. “You don't have to attack me just because I asked you something…” The read-haired moaned and followed Raven as quick as her own shadow. Why the heck was Raven sometimes such a complicated character? This was one of those facts the tamaranian girl didn't understand at all - even after such a long time. Starfire sighed and jerked for a stop, closed her eyes. Sure… she was the closest person to Raven, but sometimes the girl felt desquamated from her. The red-haired wanted to know her better, wanted her to be more open-minded; ready to get more impressions of the beautiful things in life. But it was a hard task to cope.



Meanwhile Raven got into the Arcade-Café. To be honest - she hated it. Blinking lights and screams of little kids, nerving music… she couldn't understand why Robin loved such places. The girl preferred nature and silence - not those pesky and synthetic sounds around her. She used to love the white doves of Azarath, the waterfalls in the centre of the city, Raven loved to play there… when she had to go away it was the hardest time for the reserved and withdrawn girl. Impressions overflowed her and let her mind rebel against it. It was a hard time for all, for the Titans - but most for her oppressed soul. `So… where might this jerk be…', she muttered to herself, until she recognized that the team leader stood behind her, raising his eyebrows. “Jerk, huh?”, he copied her accent and shook his head. “So… what's the problem? Don't you understand jerk? May I substitute it with `Idiot, Fool or Cretin?”, she answered in a cocky voice and turned around.



“We could go shopping here like Starfire wished to or something else… but NO, you childish freak have to prefer that stupid game-halls…”, Raven continued and crossed her arms. Robin stared at her. “Hackled up today? What's wrong? No time for meditate?” the Team leader grinned and slapped his head. “Maybe I'm just pissed off because of a running meter so-called smartness?”, she answered calm… too calm in her opinion, because her innermost boiled. She knew that he reacted quite allergic to such statements. His body seemed to vibrate and he formed his hands to fists. “What did YA say?”, he growled and got one step closer. “Still hair gel in your ears or too dumb?” She watched him with provoking glare and knew that he would explode every moment.



“Stop fighting darn it!” Both stopped and turned around. Starfire stood behind them with crossed arms, looking over them angry.



“Hey, wait a second, this wasn't my fault!”, Robin babbled and pointed with his finger to Raven. “I guess she didn't have enough sleep… bit touchy today…” “Just… shut… the frack up…”, the girl muttered into her cloak and turned around. “Raven…” Starfire wanted to tell something but the sorceress stretched out her palm and signalized that she wanted to be alone. Raven went out of the Café without a sound. Starfire watched Robin strained and closed her eyes. The leader wanted to say something but she prevented. “Raven is… complicated. I don't know what's wrong with her… but we should give her the time she needs…” Robin shook his head and hushed. This wasn't a good day for him… and so for Raven…

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