Chapter 18 - The Sorrid tale of Zim and Dib
Submitted June 30, 2007 Updated April 18, 2011 Status Incomplete | Someone destroyed the Earth, Someone destroyed their lives, Someone's gonna pay. Someone had better be watching their Back.
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Chapter 18 - The Sorrid tale of Zim and Dib
Chapter 18 - The Sorrid tale of Zim and Dib
Chapter 18
“What happened?” June asked.
“I don’t know, we just- lost the signal.” said Jake, franticly pushing buttons.
“Hmmm.” June backed away from the panel and took a deep breath. “Alright, we have to assume the worst,” She said, “that this is all a trap and the others walked right into it. Right not this ship is the only way out for us and them.” June slipped into a seat next to Jake and started working the controls. “Let’s see if we can see anything on the scanners.”
Jake stopped and looked at June, “Do you think they’re alright?”
“Phantom’s pretty tough and can handle himself, Jenny’s a walking tank, and Betty… well she’s got Phantom and Jenny. They’ll be fine, but right now we’ve got to protect the ship.”
Jake’s face hardened, “Right.” he agreed as he brought up the ship’s surveillance cameras.
June kept an eye on all the screens before them, showing the landscape around The Avenger in heat-scope, night-vision, x-ray, and a hundred other ways of seeing, some of which she could not understood. Jake on the other hand was hard at work trying to regain contact with the others. Then, suddenly one of the screens showed movement. June enlarged that screen as the communication speakers crackled to life.
“Open the loading doors!” shouted Betty’s voice over the static.
Jake activated to doors and leaned in to the screen for a better look. Whatever was moving towards them was big and fast. “It looks like a tank.” Jake thought aloud.
“A tank with pigtails.” June replied, zooming in to prove her point. In a matter of moments a rumbling filled the ship, confirming that the Jenny-tank hand gotten on board. June opened the intercom to the cargo bay. “Everything alright? Should we launch?”
“No.” came Phantom’s eerie voice, “But you’ll want to prepare the medical bay, we have a guest.”
“Gotcha.” June issued a few commands to the ship’s computer, enjoying how easy it was to control nearly every aspect of the ship from the bridge. She turned to Jake, “So, you wanna Go to the med-bay and see how freaky-lookin’ our ‘guest’ is?”
“Naw. I’ll catch up later.” Jake said as he leaned back in his chair.
“Suit yourself, but I’ll bet that suckah is uuuuuuug-ly!”
*CotB*
Standing in the med-bay, June could see she was right. This…thing, whatever it was defiantly did not look pretty. Lying still but breathing on the examination table it looked almost like a croos between a big-headed kid and a giant, squishy bug. Betty was talking into the med-bay’s audio log describing the ‘patient’.
“Subject was taken from a wrecked Irkin Voot Cruiser. He attacked us, apparently unaware of the lack of atmosphere. As such he is currently unconscious due to lack of oxygen to the brain. We were able to quickly bring him back to the ship for examination. Species is…difficult to determine. Subject appears human with Irkin characteristics superimposed. For example; one eye appears human but the other is a solid red like an Irkin’s. Also of note is the presence of an Irkin Pak, which seems to be the source of the Irkin mutations. The Pak appears to have been damaged but has cannibalized some other machine in order to make repairs. It seems, however that the cannibalized portions are severely malfunctioning which may actually explain why the subject is still alive.” At that moment Betty noticed the confused looks she was getting from Jenny, June, and Phantom. She stopped her recording to explain. “The Pak…it supplies Irkins with nutrients and fluids and even stores their memories. Essentially the Irkin’s body is just something to carry the Pak around. If the Pak were to ever attach to something non-Irkin the nutrients often act as poison and kill the host from the inside-out. Since this Pak isn’t working right it may not be injecting the all nutrients and therefore not killing him. Did that make any sense at all?”
Phantom nodded ‘yes’ while Jenny and June simple shook their heads.
“How about we just wake him up and see what he knows, okay?”
Betty sighed at the complete lack of procedure, but realized it couldn’t be helped. “All right, but let’s get those restraints on him first.” Phantom pushed a few buttons on a panel by the bed, causing three glowing red bands to wrap around the ’subject’. After pressing a few more buttons a slight electric charge ran through the table, just powerful enough to wake their patient.
“Uuuuhhhhmmmmmggggg.” the thing moaned as it’s eyes flickered open. “Where am I?” he looked around for answers. Betty spoke up.
“You’re onboard The Avenger. You attacked us, remember?”
“Attacked? No! Wait! That wasn’t me it was…him!” the patient seemed to be on the verge of freaking out at this point.
Intrigued, Betty pressed the issue, “Who, then? Who attacked us if it wasn’t you?”
“It was…ZIM!”
Phantom spoke up this time, “Who’s Zim?”
“PITIFUL MEAT BEAST!” the patient replied, “I AM THE MIGHTY ZIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM-NNNNNOOOOO! I’m DIIIIIIIIIIII-ZIIIIIIIIII-D-D-D-D-ZZIIIIIBBB!” Whoever he was he seemed to be having some sort of augment with himself.
“Ooooookay.” June said, “Phantom, I think you’re about to lose your ‘Craziest Guy on the Ship’ plaque.”
“I’m not crazy!” Zib screamed, though in his calmer voice.
“Okay. Okay. You’re not crazy,” Betty said calmingly, sending June a look to tell her to keep quiet. “How did you get here?”
“Very well! Zim will tell you the terrible tale, filthy worm monkey!” Zib cried in his not-so-calm voice. “It began when, I -the mighty ZIM!- was posted on the pathetic filth-ball called Earth, to learn all their weakness for the Mighty Tallest.”
*CotB*
Earth: 30 minutes prior to the invasion
Deep under the ingeniously disguised Irkin base of the invader Zim in the technological wonder of Zim’s laboratory, were I, the mighty ZIM, worked diligently trying to find the weak spot in Earth’s defenses. At this time I was focusing my amazing brain on it’s pathetic solar system. But, with my awesome Irkin mind I discovered an irregularity; something approaching. Something massive, but before even my lighting-fast reflexes could react, a disrupter beam struck, disabling my lab!
I realized that even my advanced technology could not stop this menace, so I was forced to turn to the one pathetic human who has ever dared to match wits with ZIM! The huge-headed human named Dib. When I told the Dib-monkey about what appeared to be an invasion he reacted as I expected. Crying in terror, sniveling in fear, and vomiting in disgusting-ness!
What! That’s not what happened at all!
Here’s what really happened. I, Dib, was doing my civic duty to prevent an alien invasion by using a-uh-borrowed military satellite to scan the solar system for any approaching spaceships. Suddenly I got a blip on the screen. Not just one, but hundreds! I knew though that even my surveillance equipment and global network wouldn’t be able to stop a full-fledged alien invasion, so I was forced to recruit my old nemesis; Zim. Zim, being an alien had advanced technology capable of stopping this, so I went over to his place. I didn’t trust Zim, though, never did, so part of the reason I asked for his help was so I could gather evidence to prove to the world once and for all that aliens live among us.
It was true that the invaders had jammed his systems, but when I got there he really didn’t seem to care. In fact him and his robot dog, Gir, were doing…things….unnatural things…to waffles…
It took some time to convince Zim to help, and he only agreed because he wanted to conquer Earth, and of course he couldn’t do that if someone else beat him to it. So we got in his spaceship and took off to fight the invading menace!
YEEEEESSSSS! And I, ZIIIIIIIM!!!, piloted!
No ship in the galaxy could match me! I maneuvered beautifully through the planet’s disgusting atmosphere. Soaring and tumbling. Yes, I was lord of the skies! All looked upon me in amaze and said…neat-o!
Oh, yeah, and, uh, Big-Head was there too, I guess.
My head is NOT BIG!
When we reached the invasion force I suggested a solid offensive focusing on the mother ship. Zim, however, had other plans and started attacking some of the smaller ships. Because of his bone-headed maneuvering we got hit, taking out one of our guns.
The hit made Gir start acting crazy. Well, crazier than usual. Anyways, while Gir was freaking out, we got hit again, taking out our last gun and doing a lot of damage to the ship. If only Zim had listened to me-
WRONG MEAT-BEAST!
It was not Zim who was stuuuuuuuuuuuupid! It was DIB! And because of his stupidness, We were caught off-guard. It the attack I was mortally wounded, but thanks to the wonders of Irkin technology, my PAK, survived with minimal damage (which damage was repaired by using parts from Gir), activated a fail-safe. It backed up all my memories and immediately sought out the closest living organism, which was the un-bathed Dib. By the time the merge was complete the pitiful planet Earth had fallen. Only one option remained: to return to the Irkin Home World and be have my PAK removed from this disgusting snot-creature.
*CotB*
The crew stood, staring at Zib as he slipped into a strange, quite babbling. Jake had come in around the middle of the story and was the first to break the tense silence.
“So, I guess this ain’t one of the invaders?”
Jenny looked on in disbelief. “If he didn’t have anything to do with the invasion, then…” She trailed off, almost unwilling to say it out loud.
“We’ve been on a wild goose chase this whole time.” Phantom said, with an unusual hint of remorse in his voice.
The crew stood there, not sure what to do or say for a while. Just realizing that they were wrong. For most of them, it was a strange feeling. Sure they all had tough times, but things always seemed to work out in the end. There always was that one thing they overlooked that just popped up at the darkest moment. No such thing happened this time.
June spoke up with a quiet voice. “So, Betty, what do we do now?’
Betty cringed, gazing at her boots. After a minute or two in thought she responded. “I don‘t know. I don‘t know.” she shook her head and made her way to the door. It all seemed so pointless, so hopeless to her now. No longer a Galactic Guardian, wanted for grand theft warship, with a target on her back to boot. Phantom was melting, the invader’s trail had run cold and she had just lost her final lead. She felt like crying, but couldn’t find the tears. “Just…land on some planet nearby. We’ll figure things out from there.”
Then she left for her quarters. Silently and somberly. The crew stayed in the room with the silence, which was only broken by Zib’s cackling.
“What happened?” June asked.
“I don’t know, we just- lost the signal.” said Jake, franticly pushing buttons.
“Hmmm.” June backed away from the panel and took a deep breath. “Alright, we have to assume the worst,” She said, “that this is all a trap and the others walked right into it. Right not this ship is the only way out for us and them.” June slipped into a seat next to Jake and started working the controls. “Let’s see if we can see anything on the scanners.”
Jake stopped and looked at June, “Do you think they’re alright?”
“Phantom’s pretty tough and can handle himself, Jenny’s a walking tank, and Betty… well she’s got Phantom and Jenny. They’ll be fine, but right now we’ve got to protect the ship.”
Jake’s face hardened, “Right.” he agreed as he brought up the ship’s surveillance cameras.
June kept an eye on all the screens before them, showing the landscape around The Avenger in heat-scope, night-vision, x-ray, and a hundred other ways of seeing, some of which she could not understood. Jake on the other hand was hard at work trying to regain contact with the others. Then, suddenly one of the screens showed movement. June enlarged that screen as the communication speakers crackled to life.
“Open the loading doors!” shouted Betty’s voice over the static.
Jake activated to doors and leaned in to the screen for a better look. Whatever was moving towards them was big and fast. “It looks like a tank.” Jake thought aloud.
“A tank with pigtails.” June replied, zooming in to prove her point. In a matter of moments a rumbling filled the ship, confirming that the Jenny-tank hand gotten on board. June opened the intercom to the cargo bay. “Everything alright? Should we launch?”
“No.” came Phantom’s eerie voice, “But you’ll want to prepare the medical bay, we have a guest.”
“Gotcha.” June issued a few commands to the ship’s computer, enjoying how easy it was to control nearly every aspect of the ship from the bridge. She turned to Jake, “So, you wanna Go to the med-bay and see how freaky-lookin’ our ‘guest’ is?”
“Naw. I’ll catch up later.” Jake said as he leaned back in his chair.
“Suit yourself, but I’ll bet that suckah is uuuuuuug-ly!”
*CotB*
Standing in the med-bay, June could see she was right. This…thing, whatever it was defiantly did not look pretty. Lying still but breathing on the examination table it looked almost like a croos between a big-headed kid and a giant, squishy bug. Betty was talking into the med-bay’s audio log describing the ‘patient’.
“Subject was taken from a wrecked Irkin Voot Cruiser. He attacked us, apparently unaware of the lack of atmosphere. As such he is currently unconscious due to lack of oxygen to the brain. We were able to quickly bring him back to the ship for examination. Species is…difficult to determine. Subject appears human with Irkin characteristics superimposed. For example; one eye appears human but the other is a solid red like an Irkin’s. Also of note is the presence of an Irkin Pak, which seems to be the source of the Irkin mutations. The Pak appears to have been damaged but has cannibalized some other machine in order to make repairs. It seems, however that the cannibalized portions are severely malfunctioning which may actually explain why the subject is still alive.” At that moment Betty noticed the confused looks she was getting from Jenny, June, and Phantom. She stopped her recording to explain. “The Pak…it supplies Irkins with nutrients and fluids and even stores their memories. Essentially the Irkin’s body is just something to carry the Pak around. If the Pak were to ever attach to something non-Irkin the nutrients often act as poison and kill the host from the inside-out. Since this Pak isn’t working right it may not be injecting the all nutrients and therefore not killing him. Did that make any sense at all?”
Phantom nodded ‘yes’ while Jenny and June simple shook their heads.
“How about we just wake him up and see what he knows, okay?”
Betty sighed at the complete lack of procedure, but realized it couldn’t be helped. “All right, but let’s get those restraints on him first.” Phantom pushed a few buttons on a panel by the bed, causing three glowing red bands to wrap around the ’subject’. After pressing a few more buttons a slight electric charge ran through the table, just powerful enough to wake their patient.
“Uuuuhhhhmmmmmggggg.” the thing moaned as it’s eyes flickered open. “Where am I?” he looked around for answers. Betty spoke up.
“You’re onboard The Avenger. You attacked us, remember?”
“Attacked? No! Wait! That wasn’t me it was…him!” the patient seemed to be on the verge of freaking out at this point.
Intrigued, Betty pressed the issue, “Who, then? Who attacked us if it wasn’t you?”
“It was…ZIM!”
Phantom spoke up this time, “Who’s Zim?”
“PITIFUL MEAT BEAST!” the patient replied, “I AM THE MIGHTY ZIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM-NNNNNOOOOO! I’m DIIIIIIIIIIII-ZIIIIIIIIII-D-D-D-D-ZZIIIIIBBB!” Whoever he was he seemed to be having some sort of augment with himself.
“Ooooookay.” June said, “Phantom, I think you’re about to lose your ‘Craziest Guy on the Ship’ plaque.”
“I’m not crazy!” Zib screamed, though in his calmer voice.
“Okay. Okay. You’re not crazy,” Betty said calmingly, sending June a look to tell her to keep quiet. “How did you get here?”
“Very well! Zim will tell you the terrible tale, filthy worm monkey!” Zib cried in his not-so-calm voice. “It began when, I -the mighty ZIM!- was posted on the pathetic filth-ball called Earth, to learn all their weakness for the Mighty Tallest.”
*CotB*
Earth: 30 minutes prior to the invasion
Deep under the ingeniously disguised Irkin base of the invader Zim in the technological wonder of Zim’s laboratory, were I, the mighty ZIM, worked diligently trying to find the weak spot in Earth’s defenses. At this time I was focusing my amazing brain on it’s pathetic solar system. But, with my awesome Irkin mind I discovered an irregularity; something approaching. Something massive, but before even my lighting-fast reflexes could react, a disrupter beam struck, disabling my lab!
I realized that even my advanced technology could not stop this menace, so I was forced to turn to the one pathetic human who has ever dared to match wits with ZIM! The huge-headed human named Dib. When I told the Dib-monkey about what appeared to be an invasion he reacted as I expected. Crying in terror, sniveling in fear, and vomiting in disgusting-ness!
What! That’s not what happened at all!
Here’s what really happened. I, Dib, was doing my civic duty to prevent an alien invasion by using a-uh-borrowed military satellite to scan the solar system for any approaching spaceships. Suddenly I got a blip on the screen. Not just one, but hundreds! I knew though that even my surveillance equipment and global network wouldn’t be able to stop a full-fledged alien invasion, so I was forced to recruit my old nemesis; Zim. Zim, being an alien had advanced technology capable of stopping this, so I went over to his place. I didn’t trust Zim, though, never did, so part of the reason I asked for his help was so I could gather evidence to prove to the world once and for all that aliens live among us.
It was true that the invaders had jammed his systems, but when I got there he really didn’t seem to care. In fact him and his robot dog, Gir, were doing…things….unnatural things…to waffles…
It took some time to convince Zim to help, and he only agreed because he wanted to conquer Earth, and of course he couldn’t do that if someone else beat him to it. So we got in his spaceship and took off to fight the invading menace!
YEEEEESSSSS! And I, ZIIIIIIIM!!!, piloted!
No ship in the galaxy could match me! I maneuvered beautifully through the planet’s disgusting atmosphere. Soaring and tumbling. Yes, I was lord of the skies! All looked upon me in amaze and said…neat-o!
Oh, yeah, and, uh, Big-Head was there too, I guess.
My head is NOT BIG!
When we reached the invasion force I suggested a solid offensive focusing on the mother ship. Zim, however, had other plans and started attacking some of the smaller ships. Because of his bone-headed maneuvering we got hit, taking out one of our guns.
The hit made Gir start acting crazy. Well, crazier than usual. Anyways, while Gir was freaking out, we got hit again, taking out our last gun and doing a lot of damage to the ship. If only Zim had listened to me-
WRONG MEAT-BEAST!
It was not Zim who was stuuuuuuuuuuuupid! It was DIB! And because of his stupidness, We were caught off-guard. It the attack I was mortally wounded, but thanks to the wonders of Irkin technology, my PAK, survived with minimal damage (which damage was repaired by using parts from Gir), activated a fail-safe. It backed up all my memories and immediately sought out the closest living organism, which was the un-bathed Dib. By the time the merge was complete the pitiful planet Earth had fallen. Only one option remained: to return to the Irkin Home World and be have my PAK removed from this disgusting snot-creature.
*CotB*
The crew stood, staring at Zib as he slipped into a strange, quite babbling. Jake had come in around the middle of the story and was the first to break the tense silence.
“So, I guess this ain’t one of the invaders?”
Jenny looked on in disbelief. “If he didn’t have anything to do with the invasion, then…” She trailed off, almost unwilling to say it out loud.
“We’ve been on a wild goose chase this whole time.” Phantom said, with an unusual hint of remorse in his voice.
The crew stood there, not sure what to do or say for a while. Just realizing that they were wrong. For most of them, it was a strange feeling. Sure they all had tough times, but things always seemed to work out in the end. There always was that one thing they overlooked that just popped up at the darkest moment. No such thing happened this time.
June spoke up with a quiet voice. “So, Betty, what do we do now?’
Betty cringed, gazing at her boots. After a minute or two in thought she responded. “I don‘t know. I don‘t know.” she shook her head and made her way to the door. It all seemed so pointless, so hopeless to her now. No longer a Galactic Guardian, wanted for grand theft warship, with a target on her back to boot. Phantom was melting, the invader’s trail had run cold and she had just lost her final lead. She felt like crying, but couldn’t find the tears. “Just…land on some planet nearby. We’ll figure things out from there.”
Then she left for her quarters. Silently and somberly. The crew stayed in the room with the silence, which was only broken by Zib’s cackling.
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