Chapter 1 - Thoughts

Months ago, she was happy for one night. Months ago, she thought she finally found someone. Months ago, they liked each other. Months ago, he tried to kill her.

Devi sighed as she worked on her newest painting: a thin hand holding a black rose. The thorns were cutting into the fingers; a few drops of blood were falling. The hand was holding the rose to the moonlight.

At least, that’s what she hoped it would look like. She only started a few days ago; the day after she cried.
She remembered that night. Lying on the couch in her living room, all the lights turned off, the only light in her apartment was coming from outside. She lay there looking at the moon and stars through the open window again; Devi loved to do this often.
It gave her so much inspiration, plus she loved to be alone with her thoughts.

A few days after the incident, she caught a glimpse of him. He looked like he was going to cry. His image stayed in her mind; it would appear constantly.
Until that night, lying there, watching the night pass by, a tear ran down her pale face. Memories of him returned; those talks they would have every day at the bookstore, those times he would present her with a black rose, a shy smile, and a bow.

That smile… so rare, but lovely. And she was the cause of his few smiles.
Devi remembered him walking to the bookstore every day; it could be dry or pouring, but he didn’t care. He wanted to see her.

She recalled the day she felt brave enough to finally ask him; hopefully he was different than the others.
So in a shy voice, she asked him if he would go out with her.
Devi remembered his reaction; his normally sickly colored face turned a bright pink.
He fiddled with his long thin fingers and stuttered a bit. In a quiet, yet excited voice he said, “R-really? Y-you wanna go out with- me?”
She smiled at him and replied, “Of course I do.”
Devi seemed calm, but inside, she panicked when she asked him; what if he said no?
He looked down at his hands then looked up at her. His sharp brown eyes were gleaming as he said, “Sure! That’d be nice- I-I’d love to go out with you.”
He quickly looked away with a huge smile on his face. Who ever thought that such a beautiful girl would want to ask me out? he thought. “I’ll see you tonight, then.” He said, trying to look calm.
“Alright,” she said. “I’ll see you tonight.”
He walked out the door still smiling; his face was still blushing, and even his steps were a little lively.

Lying there on the couch crying, she remembered the night they went out together. She recalled that lovely view; the two of them just looking out at the city lights.
It was beautiful.
Devi thought about when they went to his place; she remembered his question: Why did you ask me out? Why did you want to go out with me?

Her response was simple, yet meant a lot: I like you.

He was so happy when she said that; he wanted to tell her how much he liked her too, but couldn’t find the right words. He told her that she made him happy. Which, knowing him, is such a rare thing.

Devi thought about that moment; she moved closer to him, smiled, and said, “Good. Then let’s both be happy.”
They both smiled at each other and closed their eyes as they were about to kiss. So many thoughts and emotions rushed through their minds that very second- but before their lips touched, he suddenly opened his eyes and stood up, a huge grin on his face.

That was the thought that triggered more tears; Devi remembered walking into a room looking for him. He looked at her lovingly as he held two knives.
She wondered what they were for, but suddenly understood- they were for her.

Devi panicked. She screamed at him; when she tried to open the door, it was locked. He suddenly came after her with the knives, but before he stabbed her with a blade, she struck his jaw with her boot.
As he stood up, blood dripping from his mouth, she struck his jaw again with her fist. He lay there, trying to lift himself once more, but before he could, Devi grabbed his hair, lifted him and threw him against a mirror. She didn’t stop to see what happened, but as she darted towards the door and kicked it open, she heard his body crash into the mirror, shattering the glass as he fell to the floor. He twitched a bit as his mouth filled with his own blood.

When she got home, she immediately called the police. She called many times after that, but they never knew what she was talking about.
Devi finally gave up, deciding to just lock herself in her own apartment for months.
It was only after his phone call that she realized it was stupid to cringe in idiot terror; she was missing out on so much by hiding from the world like this.

The night she cried, all those incidents played over and over again. As much as she wanted to, part of her would never let her forget.

The night she cried, she was miserable. She couldn’t help but wonder: Is it possible that I still have feelings for him?

She argued with herself; half said yes, you still like him immensely, half of her said no, you despise him.

Then Devi wondered; she didn’t want to think about it, and she really tried to not care, but she couldn’t help but ask herself: Does he still like me?

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