Chapter 1 - letters 2 Peach & Ike

Dear Princess Peach
Why are you always wearing pink? and Why are you Even IN SSBB? you are the LAMEST character EVER all you do is dance and slap people, I have never seen a worst Smash move.
sincerely Anna


Dear Anna.
I like pink, who doesn’t like pink? and I like to dance. Everyone falls asleep when I dance I don’t know why though.... I am very pretty, Link says I am the most beautiful princess in the world, and I know Pit has a crush on me. Plus Zelda is jealous of my lovely Yellow hair. Plus Marth is my boyfriend. and Roy likes me. and Captain Falcon wants to date me.
sincerely Princess, Peach of Mushroom Kingdom.





Dear Peach,
as much fun as it sounds to sit here and recieve letters describing your love life, I wanna know why you didn’t ask for a better Smash move, I mean COME ON!! DANCING!!!!???? that is SO LAME!!! even YOU know that! why not... super flying... or....throwing Gigantic, killer pumkins? Or even better, super ninja powers! or maybe shooting pink laser beams! ( I happen to hate the color pink, I’d pick red instead, but.. it IS your theme color) so why DANCING? Oh yeah your name is really stupid.
truthfully Anna



Dear Mrs. Anna
I picked that move! those were all TAKEN!! Pit can already fly, Lucario is the one who does laser beams, Zelda can already get super Ninja powers, and the pumkins.. thats WAY worse then dancing!If you don’t like it why don’t you go bother one of them!
besides I wanted to show the world my true potential. and Pink is the best color in the world. how could you NOT like it!?
sincerely, Princess Peach of Mushroom Kingdom




Dear Peach
so what if the moves were already taken.. both Dededee and Pit can summon an army can’t they? You don’t see them accusing each other of copying. Plus, Pink is lame, and red is THE best color in the world so HA!!! Oh yeah I think you were lying about all your crushes/boyfreinds. I thought Mario was your boyfriend anyway. and why do you wear such a dumb looking dress to brawl?
sincerely Anna


Dear Anna
IT IS NOT DUMB LOOKING!!! IF YOU INSULT MY DRESSINESS AGAIN I WILL COME OVER THERE AND I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY RADISHES!!! THEN I WILL STUFF YOU IN A SACK AND TOSS YOU OFF A 6O,0000000 FOOT CLIFF!!! THEN I WILL TAKE YOUR REMAINS AND I WILL THROW THEM DOWN A VERY VERY VERY DEEP WELL!!! Thats a good way for me to dispose of the evidence.
Sincerely
Princess Peach of Mushroom kindgom.


Dear Peach..
okay, good luck with that, considering I’m way over here and your way over there. If you know what I mean. You couldn’t do any of those things to me anyway.Miss know it all prissy pants.

Dear Anna,
I am calm dhas;hfaoefhwa; i am clam... shd;lhfoiehoiwhr I am not A PIRSSY PANTS!! I AM VERY PRETTY!!! I AM BEAUTFIFUL!!! YOU ARE THE UGLY ONE!!!
YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL FIND A WAY!!! I’LL KILL YOU!! I’LL DRAG YOU BY YOUR FEET ACROSS A FLOOR OF NAILS!!! THEN I’LL CRUSH YOU WITH A 900,000 BLOCK OF ICE!!! THEN I’LL TAKE WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR BODY AND THROW IT INTO AN EXPLOSIVE VOLCANO!!



Dear Peach,
I think you should stop saying things like that to me. Considering you can’t do any of them, and your really starting to freak me out.
Anna



(two days later)


Dear Peach,
why aren’t you answering to my letters? I didn’t REALLY mean any of those things.... you can’t REALLY come over here can you?
Anna


Dear Peach
Can you get over here? if you did you wouldn’t REALLY do any of those things to me would you? you could just yell at me right?
sincerely Anna



Dear Anna,
I am afraid Princess Peach will no longer be replying to your mail, under certain circumstances.
sincerely Princess Zelda, of Hyrule


Dear Zelda,
what circumstances?





Dear Anna,
I shouldn’t be telling you this but I am afraid Peach has been taken away, under questionable conditions.. she doesn’t seem to be mentally settle anymore.



Dear Zelda.
oops.....
sorry about that......




Dear Ike
you’re dumb.



Dear... strange person
I am not dumb, people just think I’m dumb because I can’t run as fast as certain people. but you couldn’t run very fast either if you were carrying around such a heavy broadsword.


Dear Ike,
If your not dumb, then how come you even carry it in the first place? and why do you jump off cliffs?

Dear strange person
That was once. and why are you even writing to me?

Dear Ike,
no it was twice and I don’t know.

Dear strange person
then who really is the dumb one?


Dear Ike
you take that back right now, before I write to Link and tell him you stole his fairy. Plus I have a name you know
sincerely Anna


Dear Strange Anna
I’m not taking that back. Link no longer HAS a fairy.
sincerely Ike

Dear Ike,
you know your name sounds like that one brand of candy.... Anyway, then I’ll tell Ganondorf you challenge him to duel, afterwords I will write to Marth and tell him you have a crush on him. Then I’ll tell Zelda, you wear bras. Then I’ll tell Captain Falcon that you wear lipsick and eyeshadow plus a little blush. Then I’ll tell Pit that you don’t think he could carry you all the way to the middle of the ocean and drop you in.
Any questions?


Dear Anna,
I could beat Ganon with one hand tied behind my back and Zelda knows I don’t wear bras. Just like captain Falcon knows I probably don’t wear any makeup. and Pit COULD NOT carry me all the way to the middle of the ocean and drop me in. he’s a little boy with wings. and you are the most annoying person I have EVER written too.
sincerely the NOT DUMB Ike

Dear Mr. not dumb
Probably?


Dear Anna
I mean I don’t wear makeup, of course I don’t wear makeup.


Dear Ike
oh really?


Dear Anna
okay maybe just a little... a little skin tone blush from time to time... and a touch of eyeshadow... and a little bit to make the rings under my eyes go away.

Dear Ike
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA dude, that’s just weird XD HAHAHAHAHAA so do you really wear bras too?


Dear Person I hate
it’s a necessity to look good in these games, and of course I don’t wear bras, although shower caps come in handy

Dear Ike
You are the WEIRDEST Dude I have EVER met. I mean, Shower caps!? hahaha... oh I didn’t think you would wear shower caps and make up...... If I were you I wouldn’t tell anyone that! HAHAHHA
cheerfully Anna

Dear Anna
you are a very badly behaved child you know that?


Dear Ike.
maybe so, but at least I don’t wear shower caps HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dear Anna
I detest you.


Dear Ike.
I detest YOU



Dear Anna
you are an underbehaved little spoilt child!

Dear Ike
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment