Chapter 2 - LETTERS TO AN IDIOT!!

Dear Ike
you’re dumb.



Dear... strange person
I am not dumb, people just think I’m dumb because I can’t run as fast as certain people. but you couldn’t run very fast either if you were carrying around such a heavy broadsword.


Dear Ike,
If your not dumb, then how come you even carry it in the first place? and why do you jump off cliffs?

Dear strange person
That was once. and why are you even writing to me?

Dear Ike,
I don’t know.

Dear strange person
then who really is the dumb one?


Dear Ike
you take that back right now, before I write to Link and tell him you stole his fairy. Plus I have a name you know
sincerely Anna


Dear Strange Anna
I’m not taking that back. Link no longer HAS a fairy.
sincerely Ike

Dear Ike,
you know your name sounds like that one brand of candy.... Anyway, then I’ll tell Ganondorf you challenge him to duel, afterwords I will write to Marth and tell him you have a crush on him. Then I’ll tell Zelda, you wear bras. Then I’ll tell Captain Falcon that you wear lipsick and eyeshadow plus a little blush. Then I’ll tell Pit that you don’t think he could carry you all the way to the middle of the ocean and drop you in.
Any questions?


Dear Anna,
I could beat Ganon with one hand tied behind my back and Zelda knows I don’t wear bras. Just like captain Falcon knows I probably don’t wear any makeup. and Pit COULD NOT carry me all the way to the middle of the ocean and drop me in. he’s a little boy with wings. and you are the most annoying person I have EVER written too.
sincerely the NOT DUMB Ike

Dear Mr. not dumb
Probably?


Dear Anna
I mean I don’t wear makeup, of course I don’t wear makeup.


Dear Ike
oh really?


Dear Anna
okay maybe just a little... a little skin tone blush from time to time... and a touch of eyeshadow... and a little bit to make the rings under my eyes go away.

Dear Ike
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA dude, that’s just weird XD HAHAHAHAHAA so do you really wear bras too?


Dear Person I hate
it’s a necessity to look good in these games, and of course I don’t wear bras, although shower caps come in handy

Dear Ike
You are the WEIRDEST Dude I have EVER met. I mean, Shower caps!? hahaha... oh I didn’t think you would wear shower caps and make up...... If I were you I wouldn’t tell anyone that! HAHAHHA
cheerfully Anna

Dear Anna
you are a very badly behaved child you know that?


Dear Ike.
maybe so, but at least I don’t wear shower caps HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dear Anna
I detest you.


Dear Ike.
I detest YOU



Dear Anna
you are an underbehaved little spoilt child!

Dear Ike
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA :P









Dear Link
Ike stole your fairy
truthfully, Anna


Dear Ganondorf
Ike thinks he could kick your butt at a one- on-one duel.
With one hand tied behind his back
and standing on one leg
and wearing a shower cap
and lipstick
Sincerely, Anna


Dear Captain Falcon
Did you know your roomate wears make up?
Sincerely Anna


Dear Zelda
If your wondering why your bras dissapeared, Ike took them and is now wearing one. sincerely Anna


Dear Marth
Ike told me he has feelings for you.
he likes you buddy, Prepare yourself >:)
Sincerely Anna

Dear Pit,
Ike says he doesn’t think you could carry him into the middle of the Hylian ocean and drop you in, he says your nothing but a little brat with wings, he thinks your too weak.
ps: why do you wear a dress? and jewlery?
sincerely Anna



Dear Anna
don’t say things like that. you almost gave me a heart attack.
sincerely, Marth

Dear Marth,
I wasn’t kidding.
Anna


Dear Anna,
what did Ike say to you this time?
sincerely, Marth

Dear Anna,
you can tell Ike , that I am NOT a little boy! I could SO carry him WAY farther then the ocean! Then K.O. him! tell him to call that weak!
Ps: it’s not a dress, it’s a robe. and tradition.
sincerely Pit.


Dear Pit,
why don’t you tell him that yourself? You really should do all that, I bet you could. and what’s with the wreath thing? and why is your name Pit? thats a really bizzare name.. and why do you have wings? are you dead?
sincerely, Anna

Dear Anna
I can and I will.
its a crown, and I like having wings, who wouldn’t. and what if I think Anna is a weird name.
sincerely,Pit


Dear Pit
although you do have a point with about the wings.. Anna means “the gracious one” and pit means a large hole in the ground so HA.
sincerely, Anna

Dear Anna
wow thats ironic.


Dear Pit
it’s not ironic, its just hard for me to be gracious to little boys in girl clothes.

Dear Anna
I’m gonna go drop Ike on your head that’s what I’m gonna do... and I AM NOT A LITTLE BOY!!!


Dear Pit,
Funny, you sure LOOK like a little boy, what are you. ten? eleven?
sincerely and without regret, Anna


Anna,
are you aware that I control an entire army?




Pit,
you mean your army of tiny people with wings? whats the other name.. oh right, cupids. Are you aware I have a vicious gaurd dog? and he will EAT YOUR ARMY OF CUPIDS!!
truthfully, Anna

Anna,
They aren’t cupids, and are you talking about that little dog without a tail? Whats he gonna do to me? Bark so much I go deaf?


Pit
just because he’s small doesn’t mean he’s not still a vicious gaurd dog, if you or your stupid army came anywhere near me he would bite you so much you’d be running back home so fast you wouldn’t even know what bit you.
sincerely, Anna

Dear Anna,
he does? YAY!! I don’t need to feel so alone anymore!
thankfully yours, C. Falcon

Dear Anna
Oh goddess no... that’s disgusting please tell me your lying......
Sincerely Zelda

Dear Zelda
okay I’m lying

Dear Anna
now how am I supposed to believe you?

Dear Zelda
I dunno trust your instincts?

Dear Anna
My instincts tell me nothing about Ike wearing bras

Dear Zelda
actually I made that up to scare Ike.

Dear Anna
Good I was about to go and threaten him with fireballs.


Dear Anna
MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! HE WILL REGRET THIS UNWISE DESCICION TO CHALLENGE ME!!
sincerely Ganondorf future conquerer of Hyrule.


Dear Ganon
Okay?





Dear Anna
you were kidding about Ike liking me right? That was a joke right?
sincerely, Marth

Dear Marth
well... when I was threatening Ike I was saying to him that I would tell you, he liked you, so he would take back what he said about me.. well.. at least that’s how it started.. I don’t really know if he likes you or not.
honestly Anna


Dear Anna
tell Ike I’m moving to a far away country for me would you? Or just say I died, or something.
sincerely Marth


Dear Anna
MAKE HIM GIVE NAVI BACK!! TELL HIM I’LL CHOP HIM IN HALF IF HE DOESN’T GIVE NAVI BACK!!
sincerely Link

Dear Link
Relax I was kidding


Dear Anna
Oh really, then where is navi.
sincerely, Link

Dear Link
if Navi’s gone then why are you asking me about it theres no way I could have her.
sincerely, Anna


Dear Ike
YOU GIVE NAVI BACK YOU NO GOOD FAIRY-NAPPER!!
sincerely, Link

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment