Chapter 1 - Santa Claus, or good St Nick.

Ho ho ho, he he he, yes my name is Santa Claus! just like that cheesy song! I sneak into your house at night I rifle through your socks, wieght loss plans don’t work for me. I say that you can have a gift and swim in your applause
, then on Christmas Eve instead I write upon a list that points out all your flaws.
On christmas day I leap upon my sled, jingle bells and off I sail. oops I’ve just killed one of those happy little elves.
I pass Timmy’s house, stop to squeeze in and add a present, look at the cookies they left out for me. instead I think I’ll take their roasted pheasant, Tommy is next, then Billy Jane. boy I hope nobody sleeps in.
If you stay awake to catch me. up the stairs you ought to go. you see if you sit and wait for me. I simply will not show.
its an easy trick that works a lot, tell the kids, the little tots. to smile and be good.and on christmas day, either tell Mick to to leave tons of food for good St. Nick. or say to lay and wait for he, that saves me the trouble can’t you see? then I don’t have to go at all!
The one thing that I cannot understand, is why these brats love me until they become a grown-up woman or a man! at which point they wed , and the whole terrible process rewinds itself again!

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