Chapter 12 - Donut Chronicles: 12
Submitted June 19, 2005 Updated June 21, 2005 Status Incomplete | Pure humor written by my older sister and me back in 2003 or something. Light hints of shounen ai. Heero needs his donuts and coffee. But what happens when he can't get them?
Category:
Anime/Manga » Gundam series » Gundam Wing |
Chapter 12 - Donut Chronicles: 12
Chapter 12 - Donut Chronicles: 12
Duo grinned excitedly, saying as he bounced off the walls, quite literally, “I’m SO
excited!” He jumped around some more.
Wufei glared at him, “Gee, as if you couldn’t tell.”
Pointedly ignoring the sarcasm brought forth by Wufei, Duo grinned even wider and said,
“Today Heero and me set up our Hn-speak school!”
”Hn,” agreed Heero.
“And if you went to it,” Duo said, “You would learn that he just said ‘yup’ “
Wufei looked around for a nice, solid brick wall to bash his head in on. Meanwhile,
Quatre and Trowa came into the room, wondering what all the noise was from.
“Actually, Duo,” Quatre said, hearing a bit of the conversation, “It’s Heero and I, not
Heero and me.”
”Huh what now?” Duo said, pausing mid-bounce to glance quizzically at Quatre before
he fell (gracefully of course) on his butt. “Ouch!’
“Oh, nothing,” Quatre said, smiling a little.
“Hn,” said Heero.
“Heero’s right, we’re going to be late if we don’t hurry to our school! I should hate to
keep the students waiting for too long because then they might not want to learn the
wonderful language that is Hn-speak,” Duo said this all extremely fast and when he was
done, he nearly passed out from lack of oxygen.
Luckily, (at least, in his own view. Wufei would differ), Duo did NOT faint. (Wufei
groaned).
“Let’s go Heero,” Duo grinned, waving goodbye to the others. As the three of them
watched Duo drag Heero to the car, they heard Duo add, “Can I drive?”
”Hn.”
”But Heeeeeeero, I’ve only had ten accidents in the last week, and that was went I had
two cups of sugar, and today I’ve only one and ten eights!!!”
”Hn.”
”But I swear, that last one was the OTHER guys fault, and plus, what do you mean, ten
eights isn’t a real fraction?”
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all sweat dropped simultaneously, as Duo and Heero
continued to argue while getting into the car and driving down the road to a school that
Quatre had never known existed before, and getting out.
“You know,” Trowa said, “We could have walked there faster.”
The other pilots just nodded.
~~~
“Look it this place,” Duo said happily, as he bounced around the classroom, “This is
going to be so AMAZING!” He grinned for like the fifth time in five seconds. “Isn’t it
Heero, isn’t it?” He asked over and over again.
“Hn.”
”Of course you agree!”
After a minute, Duo suddenly stopped, mid-bounce again, and didn’t even bother to fall
gracefully. He just fell. When he stood back up, and Heero looked at him quizzically,
Duo asked, in a voice suggesting it might be the end of the world, “Heero . . . which one
of us gets to be the teacher, and who’s going to be the assistant?”
Heero blinked rapidly. To himself he thought, ‘hn’ and to Duo he said, “Hn.”
”Oh, I get it,” said Duo, calming down. “Since you can only Hn, we’ll both be teachers!
Yeah! That rocks! You’re so smart!” He hugged Heero tightly before going back to
jumping off the walls, and hanging off the ceiling fan.
Heero massaged his almost broken ribs.
Someone came to the classroom (the first student) and turned on the ceiling fan
unintentionally.
A few seconds later, Duo went flying out the window, and landing two blocks down the
street, conveniently on Wufei’s prize rose bed. Where Mr. Snuggles just HAPPENED to
be taking a nap.
“Oopsies,” Duo said, trying to fluff back up Mr. Snuggles, who was quite flat. That
proved useless, so he turned his attention to the flowers, which were all broken at the
stem. He grinned and pulled out a tube of superglue. “Superglue fixes everything!”
He paused, and looked at the back of the tube. “Instructions. Apply liberally to areas
needed superglue. Warning. Washes out with WATER.” Duo paused. “What else could it
wash out in? I’ll have to do an experiment later. I wonder if fruit juice – the blue kind –
makes it wash out.”
A few minutes later, the flowers looked as good as new! Duo ran back to the school,
where the students had now all assembled; all nine of them.
“Great! So you are all here to learn the joys and wonders that is Hn Speak!” He said, out
of breath from sprinting so fast.
“hn,” said Heero.
“Why am I covered in thorns and superglue and teddy bear stuffing?” Duo repeated after
Heero, “Ummmm,” He paused, “I really didn’t go flying into Wufei’s flower bed and
squash Mr. Snuggles, and I didn’t break all of the flowers, and I really didn’t try to put
them right with superglue. Really.” He congratulated himself on his brilliance.
Heero sighed, and hned.
“Right you are Heero! Let’s start class!” Duo turned to the students, and grinned brightly.
“My name is Duo, and I’ll be one of your teachers! My name, technically, therefore,
would be Mr. Maxwell, but that’s SO last year, so you can all call me the god of death.”
The students looked at each other, worried.
“Hn,” added Heero.
The students looked completely worried.
“Umm,” said a student, “What did he say?”
Duo grinned, “Well, if you knew hn speak, you would know that that means ‘Hello, my
name is Heero Yuy, you may call me Mr. Yuy or omae o korosu!’ “
The students looked at each other, even more worried.
Duo outlined the class quickly, and then added, “Right then, let’s talk for a minute about
earning extra credit and then we can introduce ourselves!” He pulled out a piece of chalk
and started writing on the board.
“See,” he said, as he wrote, “To get extra credit, it’s very simple. For five points, bring
Heero a chocolate frosted donut. For ten points, add a cup of well blended coffee, and for
fifteen points, add a bucket of coffee ice cream. At least a pint.”
The class blinked.
”And for fifty points extra credit, give me ten boxes of pocky.”
The class blinked yet again.
”All clear? Good!” Duo smiled, and added, “Now, lets introduce ourselves! You already
know me as the god of death and him as Mr. Yuy. But let’s get to know everyone! First,
say your name, and then go ahead and try to say something in Hn speak. Ok, then? You
there, go first!”
The girl stood up, and removed her hat and sunglasses. It was, of course, RELENA!
“RUN FOR IT! IT’S RELENA!” Cried out Duo, and then paused. “Wait, sorry. I can’t
do that if you’re a student. Darn.”
Relena should have been insulted by that, but she was too busy staring at Heero. “My
name is Relena Peacecraft!” she said bouncily, “Hn!” she added, which was SUPPOSED
to mean ‘I love you Heero-sama!’
Duo groaned, “Relena, you just said, ‘ohmygod, my butt is big!’ “
”WHAT?” screeched Relelna, “I did not! You’re so mean!”
Duo rolled his eyes and the next student stood up.
“My name is Fuu,” said the girl, “Hn!” she added.
“Good, you’ll ok,” Duo said, “Providing you did mean to say ‘This is going to be a great
class and I am so happy to be here and I can’t wait to learn how to speak hn and I am sure
I will have the best time here ever and I just know I will, won’t I?’ “
Fuu nodded, and grinned, “Yup!”
The next student stood up. Lo and behold, it was Zechs! “My name is Zechs, but you
already knew that and if you didn’t I’m terribly annoyed.” He flashed a smile, and said,
“Hn.”
”A bit of work there,” Duo told him. “I think you meant, ‘All the ladies will love me,’ but
it came out as ‘all the guys will love me.’ “
Zechs gave him a Look. “Of course I meant what I meant!”
Duo sweat dropped.
The next student stood up, and suddenly Duo realized that besides himself, Heero and
Zechs, the entire classroom was filled with girls.
“My name is Nanaki-chan,” said the next girl, “HN!!!!!!!”
“Ummmm, right then. I take it you like puppies?”
”HN!!!!!” Nanaki replied.
The next girl stood up. “Watashi wa Mysty-chan!” she said dramatically.
“But you can call her Mysty no baka,” added Nanaki, and then said to Mysty, “English,
please.”
”My name is Mysty,” replied Mystrana. “Hn.”
Duo sweat dropped again, and said, “Please keep all comments pg-13.”
“Oh, sorry,” said Mystrana.
Duo grinned, “Mind you, not that I wouldn’t MIND doing that but, anyway!”
The next student stood up, and said, “My name is Sith,” she said, “Hn.”
”Right then,” said Duo. “I like strawberries too.”
”Baka,” replied Sith, “I said I like anime!”
”Oh.”
The next student to stand up said, “My name is Jenny. Hn.”
”Three cats, eh? That’s a lot.” Duo replied.
There were only two more students to get introduced. “I’m Momo,” said the first girl,
“Hn,” and the second girl said, “I’m Sae. Hn.”
Duo nodded to both of them. “Yu-gi-oh fan, eh?” he said to the first girl, and to the next
one, “I’m sure you’ll find this class more interesting that watching cockroaches – no,
wait, you meant clocks, right?”
Having all been introduced, the class started.
Back at the house, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei sat around looking bored.
”Let’s do something.”
”Yeah.”
”Any suggestions?”
”No.”
There was a pause.
“It’s really boring without Duo here,” Wufei finally said, “But DON’T tell him I said
that!”
~~~
Back to the school.
It was pure insanity for 5 hours, and then everyone left.
“Well, Heero, we done good.”
”Hn.”
”I don’t CARE if it’s we did good; we DONE good sounds better!”
”Hn.”
”Whatever to you too!”
They walked home, conveniently forgetting they had a car parked not more than five feet
in front of them.
Just as they got in, it started to rain.
“Oh no,” Wufei said, “I have to go get Mr. Snuggles from his afternoon nap or he will get
wet!” He ran out.
Trowa and Quatre entered the room.
”Um, Heero, pray tell why Duo is running upstairs and locking himself in the bathroom?”
Heero grinned and shrugged, and waited for the angry yell of Wufei’s that was sure to
follow.
“MAXWELL!”
excited!” He jumped around some more.
Wufei glared at him, “Gee, as if you couldn’t tell.”
Pointedly ignoring the sarcasm brought forth by Wufei, Duo grinned even wider and said,
“Today Heero and me set up our Hn-speak school!”
”Hn,” agreed Heero.
“And if you went to it,” Duo said, “You would learn that he just said ‘yup’ “
Wufei looked around for a nice, solid brick wall to bash his head in on. Meanwhile,
Quatre and Trowa came into the room, wondering what all the noise was from.
“Actually, Duo,” Quatre said, hearing a bit of the conversation, “It’s Heero and I, not
Heero and me.”
”Huh what now?” Duo said, pausing mid-bounce to glance quizzically at Quatre before
he fell (gracefully of course) on his butt. “Ouch!’
“Oh, nothing,” Quatre said, smiling a little.
“Hn,” said Heero.
“Heero’s right, we’re going to be late if we don’t hurry to our school! I should hate to
keep the students waiting for too long because then they might not want to learn the
wonderful language that is Hn-speak,” Duo said this all extremely fast and when he was
done, he nearly passed out from lack of oxygen.
Luckily, (at least, in his own view. Wufei would differ), Duo did NOT faint. (Wufei
groaned).
“Let’s go Heero,” Duo grinned, waving goodbye to the others. As the three of them
watched Duo drag Heero to the car, they heard Duo add, “Can I drive?”
”Hn.”
”But Heeeeeeero, I’ve only had ten accidents in the last week, and that was went I had
two cups of sugar, and today I’ve only one and ten eights!!!”
”Hn.”
”But I swear, that last one was the OTHER guys fault, and plus, what do you mean, ten
eights isn’t a real fraction?”
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all sweat dropped simultaneously, as Duo and Heero
continued to argue while getting into the car and driving down the road to a school that
Quatre had never known existed before, and getting out.
“You know,” Trowa said, “We could have walked there faster.”
The other pilots just nodded.
~~~
“Look it this place,” Duo said happily, as he bounced around the classroom, “This is
going to be so AMAZING!” He grinned for like the fifth time in five seconds. “Isn’t it
Heero, isn’t it?” He asked over and over again.
“Hn.”
”Of course you agree!”
After a minute, Duo suddenly stopped, mid-bounce again, and didn’t even bother to fall
gracefully. He just fell. When he stood back up, and Heero looked at him quizzically,
Duo asked, in a voice suggesting it might be the end of the world, “Heero . . . which one
of us gets to be the teacher, and who’s going to be the assistant?”
Heero blinked rapidly. To himself he thought, ‘hn’ and to Duo he said, “Hn.”
”Oh, I get it,” said Duo, calming down. “Since you can only Hn, we’ll both be teachers!
Yeah! That rocks! You’re so smart!” He hugged Heero tightly before going back to
jumping off the walls, and hanging off the ceiling fan.
Heero massaged his almost broken ribs.
Someone came to the classroom (the first student) and turned on the ceiling fan
unintentionally.
A few seconds later, Duo went flying out the window, and landing two blocks down the
street, conveniently on Wufei’s prize rose bed. Where Mr. Snuggles just HAPPENED to
be taking a nap.
“Oopsies,” Duo said, trying to fluff back up Mr. Snuggles, who was quite flat. That
proved useless, so he turned his attention to the flowers, which were all broken at the
stem. He grinned and pulled out a tube of superglue. “Superglue fixes everything!”
He paused, and looked at the back of the tube. “Instructions. Apply liberally to areas
needed superglue. Warning. Washes out with WATER.” Duo paused. “What else could it
wash out in? I’ll have to do an experiment later. I wonder if fruit juice – the blue kind –
makes it wash out.”
A few minutes later, the flowers looked as good as new! Duo ran back to the school,
where the students had now all assembled; all nine of them.
“Great! So you are all here to learn the joys and wonders that is Hn Speak!” He said, out
of breath from sprinting so fast.
“hn,” said Heero.
“Why am I covered in thorns and superglue and teddy bear stuffing?” Duo repeated after
Heero, “Ummmm,” He paused, “I really didn’t go flying into Wufei’s flower bed and
squash Mr. Snuggles, and I didn’t break all of the flowers, and I really didn’t try to put
them right with superglue. Really.” He congratulated himself on his brilliance.
Heero sighed, and hned.
“Right you are Heero! Let’s start class!” Duo turned to the students, and grinned brightly.
“My name is Duo, and I’ll be one of your teachers! My name, technically, therefore,
would be Mr. Maxwell, but that’s SO last year, so you can all call me the god of death.”
The students looked at each other, worried.
“Hn,” added Heero.
The students looked completely worried.
“Umm,” said a student, “What did he say?”
Duo grinned, “Well, if you knew hn speak, you would know that that means ‘Hello, my
name is Heero Yuy, you may call me Mr. Yuy or omae o korosu!’ “
The students looked at each other, even more worried.
Duo outlined the class quickly, and then added, “Right then, let’s talk for a minute about
earning extra credit and then we can introduce ourselves!” He pulled out a piece of chalk
and started writing on the board.
“See,” he said, as he wrote, “To get extra credit, it’s very simple. For five points, bring
Heero a chocolate frosted donut. For ten points, add a cup of well blended coffee, and for
fifteen points, add a bucket of coffee ice cream. At least a pint.”
The class blinked.
”And for fifty points extra credit, give me ten boxes of pocky.”
The class blinked yet again.
”All clear? Good!” Duo smiled, and added, “Now, lets introduce ourselves! You already
know me as the god of death and him as Mr. Yuy. But let’s get to know everyone! First,
say your name, and then go ahead and try to say something in Hn speak. Ok, then? You
there, go first!”
The girl stood up, and removed her hat and sunglasses. It was, of course, RELENA!
“RUN FOR IT! IT’S RELENA!” Cried out Duo, and then paused. “Wait, sorry. I can’t
do that if you’re a student. Darn.”
Relena should have been insulted by that, but she was too busy staring at Heero. “My
name is Relena Peacecraft!” she said bouncily, “Hn!” she added, which was SUPPOSED
to mean ‘I love you Heero-sama!’
Duo groaned, “Relena, you just said, ‘ohmygod, my butt is big!’ “
”WHAT?” screeched Relelna, “I did not! You’re so mean!”
Duo rolled his eyes and the next student stood up.
“My name is Fuu,” said the girl, “Hn!” she added.
“Good, you’ll ok,” Duo said, “Providing you did mean to say ‘This is going to be a great
class and I am so happy to be here and I can’t wait to learn how to speak hn and I am sure
I will have the best time here ever and I just know I will, won’t I?’ “
Fuu nodded, and grinned, “Yup!”
The next student stood up. Lo and behold, it was Zechs! “My name is Zechs, but you
already knew that and if you didn’t I’m terribly annoyed.” He flashed a smile, and said,
“Hn.”
”A bit of work there,” Duo told him. “I think you meant, ‘All the ladies will love me,’ but
it came out as ‘all the guys will love me.’ “
Zechs gave him a Look. “Of course I meant what I meant!”
Duo sweat dropped.
The next student stood up, and suddenly Duo realized that besides himself, Heero and
Zechs, the entire classroom was filled with girls.
“My name is Nanaki-chan,” said the next girl, “HN!!!!!!!”
“Ummmm, right then. I take it you like puppies?”
”HN!!!!!” Nanaki replied.
The next girl stood up. “Watashi wa Mysty-chan!” she said dramatically.
“But you can call her Mysty no baka,” added Nanaki, and then said to Mysty, “English,
please.”
”My name is Mysty,” replied Mystrana. “Hn.”
Duo sweat dropped again, and said, “Please keep all comments pg-13.”
“Oh, sorry,” said Mystrana.
Duo grinned, “Mind you, not that I wouldn’t MIND doing that but, anyway!”
The next student stood up, and said, “My name is Sith,” she said, “Hn.”
”Right then,” said Duo. “I like strawberries too.”
”Baka,” replied Sith, “I said I like anime!”
”Oh.”
The next student to stand up said, “My name is Jenny. Hn.”
”Three cats, eh? That’s a lot.” Duo replied.
There were only two more students to get introduced. “I’m Momo,” said the first girl,
“Hn,” and the second girl said, “I’m Sae. Hn.”
Duo nodded to both of them. “Yu-gi-oh fan, eh?” he said to the first girl, and to the next
one, “I’m sure you’ll find this class more interesting that watching cockroaches – no,
wait, you meant clocks, right?”
Having all been introduced, the class started.
Back at the house, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei sat around looking bored.
”Let’s do something.”
”Yeah.”
”Any suggestions?”
”No.”
There was a pause.
“It’s really boring without Duo here,” Wufei finally said, “But DON’T tell him I said
that!”
~~~
Back to the school.
It was pure insanity for 5 hours, and then everyone left.
“Well, Heero, we done good.”
”Hn.”
”I don’t CARE if it’s we did good; we DONE good sounds better!”
”Hn.”
”Whatever to you too!”
They walked home, conveniently forgetting they had a car parked not more than five feet
in front of them.
Just as they got in, it started to rain.
“Oh no,” Wufei said, “I have to go get Mr. Snuggles from his afternoon nap or he will get
wet!” He ran out.
Trowa and Quatre entered the room.
”Um, Heero, pray tell why Duo is running upstairs and locking himself in the bathroom?”
Heero grinned and shrugged, and waited for the angry yell of Wufei’s that was sure to
follow.
“MAXWELL!”
Comments
You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment