Chapter 1 - The chapter inwhich I describe veins!

Disclaimer: I do not own yugioh or any of the amazing characters! But I wish I did! :P

Alright, this is my first Yugioh fanfiction, and its just some stupid oneshot thing. It has to be said I do like writing comedies, if you can call this that, I suppose other people might just call it random. . .
Anyway this is my second FF in which the 'crazy deranged fangirl' features! the other one is 'Voldemort and the crazy fangirl of doom' or something like that, anyway you can find it on my profile. Don't be scared now, just follow the linky!! :)

I bet you cant guess who the crazy fangirl is? . . . ITS YOU!!

This is what would happen if a crazy fangirl interrupted this perfectly normal -coughcough- world of Yugioh.


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Yugi Moto and Marik Ishtar stared across the arena at each other. A venomous man on man stare. The kind of stare that sends shivers down your spine just watching.

A light breeze from the south messed up Yugis hair. Yugi always used a lot of hair gel, or maybe the top of his head had got board one day and mutated itself. Either way the breeze had absolutely no effect on his sculptured locks (if one can call it that.) But Mariks cloak, not being as rock-like as Yugis hair, billowed in an evil-madman sort of way and somewhere in the distance Kaibas blimp blimped. (As blimps often do.)
The two enemy's stopped shuffling each others decks and returned to their ‘places’, never once losing eye contact or stealing each other’s cards. (Which personally I think would be a good start to taking-over-the-world-in-an-evil-way! But everyone to their own opinions I guess.) The Umpire (I suppose that’s what he’s called) drew a long, deep, rattling breath. His chest heaved, his eyes bulged and with an enormous effort he raised his hand . . . he looked so depressed they thought he was going to die . . .
”Let the dual begin!” He announced dramatically in a monotone. How someone with a monotone instead of a voice can be dramatic remains, to this day, one of earths greatest mysteries. . .

Marik and Yugi drew 5 cards.
Someone yawned.
The world blew up.
Everyone was now currently swimming around in space.
”You can take the first turn,” Said Yugi (or the Pharaoh or Atem or Yami or Yummy or whatever!) in the politest way possible.
Marik smiled in his psychotic I-will-rule-your-face kind of way, veins popping up and saying hello in all the wrong places.
No one actually said anything about the veins in the whole series, so I will now describe them in the best way I can just to give them the credit they really deserve. the veins where, on the whole, just like any other veins. They where long, thin, and full of blood, and they liked to pulsate in a very . . . urm . . . lets say in-your-face way, which either meant he was very excited or had extremely high blood pressure and seeing as it happens to him an awful lot and it is humanly impossible to get that excited in one day, we will assume, in this fanfiction, that it is the latter. That being the case indicates he will die sooner then an average human being.

Now children wasn’t that interesting?

Anyway now that the veins have been probably credited we can continue our story.

Once upon a time Marik Ishtar drew a card and looked at it.
”For my first card, I play . . . “
”WEEEEE MARIK MARIK GOOOOOO MARIK AND YOUR GREAT INSANE AWESOMENESS!!”
He looked up just in time to see a crazy, demented fangirl run out of the nearest lift. He grinned and then perverted everyone's minds by sticking his tongue . . . well lets not go there . . . anyway he was actually thinking, he always did this when he thought, it helped him to come to terms with his inner braincells. Aaahh the delicious braincells, tasted like chicken they did. . . Now where was he? Oh yes, about the play his first card.
”I pla. . . “
”YOOHOO HI MARIK AND MARIK VEINS!! -furious waving-
He decided to ignore the human.
”I pl . . .”
”I LIKE COOKIES!!”
”I p . . .”
”YOU’RE GPOING TO WIIIIINNNNN!! I KNOW BECAUSE MY TROGGLE HUMPER TOLD ME!!
“I play . . .”
”YOUR MUM!!”
”MY MUMS FREEKING DEAD!”
”MY MUM ABADONED ME!”
”I KILLED MINE!!”
”CAN SOMEONE REMOVE THIS PUNK FROM MY DUELING TOWER!!” Shouted Seto over the pandemonium. Seto kaiba seems to think everyone's a punk so, to be fair, he could have been talking about anyone.
”My mum split me from my big brother!” Serenity cried, “ which reminds me, I haven't said anything about my big brother yet. Go Joey, you can win, I know you can! I will always be here for you. . . I LOVE YOU JOEY!!”
”Incest!” Said the Umpire in a board tone, but seeing as he has no lines other then “Let the duel begin” Everyone ignored him. he suddenly wondered why he hadn't committed suicide yet . . .

Then Yugi cried and the Pharaoh lectured everyone on ‘the fart of the cards’ and Tea, feeling left out because she was the only one who's name also spelt the name of a beverage, drew smiley faces on everyone and poisoned their blood flow.

And so everyone lived (or died as the case may be) happily ever after, accept Bakura because he didn’t get to say anything thus is the case with most people trapped in a huge, triangle shaped pendent.

And so the Irish jig was born.


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Don't you just love Terry Pratchett books? Totally off subject I know!

I love Yugioh by the way and yes my fav character is evil yami marik! Well there has to be some strange people out there . . . . It makes the world a better . . . well not a better place! :D
Comments\crit would be great but I would rather not get a nice long hearty flame if you can help it! Thanks in advance!

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