Chapter 1 - Contemplation

The Most Horrible Day Ever

ENTIRELY by Raz

All characters © of Jhonen Vasquez, and not Nickelodeon. They suck.



Chapter one: Contemplation







It was a dark and foreboding morning while Zim was working in his lab. The sun didn't seem to shine as bright as it usually did, and the sky was left with a puke-orange color. Zim never bothered to pay attention to the sky, as his intentions were set on Earth, and being its supreme ruler.



Zim: *Those miserable humans,* (Zim thought quietly to himself) *have been getting in my way for far too long. But this plan will work. I'm sure of it!*



Computer: Alert! Intruder detected at front door!



Zim slipped and accidentally cut himself with a laser he was working with. He let out a yelp, but quickly recovered.



Zim: ahem…HOW can anyone penetrate the almighty fortress of ZIIIIIM?! Tell meee.



Computer: Uh, ok…I guess they just walked, up, to the, door?



Zim: A logical explanation, to say the least. Bring up the gnome-cam feed on the main view screen.



A live video feed processed from one of Zim's yard gnomes. It showed the front door and who was there, recording both site and sound. The person at the door was Dib, who was continually banging on the door.



Dib: I know you're in there, Zim! I have so proof to show everyone that you're an alien! No one will disregard this evidence as bunk! NO ONE!



Zim: *Why is he telling ME this? Is he that eager for his destruction?*



The door opened before Dib, and there stood Gir in his dog costume.



Gir: HALT! No one may enter!



Dib: I wasn't planning on entering; I just want Zim to come up here to-



Something clicked in Dib's enormous head. His eyes widened and he slowly turned to the gnome-cam.



Dib: I just wanted to give him a present! A present of…surrender! Yeah! I give up! I am here to offer myself to Zim as his test subject! Could you maybe take me to him?



Gir gave him a long, blank stare, but it couldn't be seen from under his costume.



Gir: Okee-dokee! I show you to the master!



Gir walked Dib over to the elevator in the middle of the room. They both went down into the specimen holding chamber, where Dib was to be confined in horrible looking tubes filled with a viscous, green liquid.



Gir: You wait here (Gir pointed to a small bench), and I'll go and get Zim.



Dib: *Now's my chance to expose Zim! With this ingenious camera I designed, every picture I take will instantly be transferred to the Swollen Eyeballs Security Archive! I'll be a hero, and Zim's reign of terror will be at an end! I'm awesome!*



Dib got up and started taking pictures of everything. The walls, the wires, the tubes, the bench…Nothing was safe from his camera of Doom! Within mere seconds, Dib had all the info he needed to destroy Zim once and for all! Then, mere seconds later, Zim showed up with a hefty smile on his Irken face.



Zim: So, you have finally succumbed to the fearful power of me? The one whom you swore to defeat, no matter how much force you had to imply?!



Dib just nodded, hiding the camera behind his back.



Zim: I don't believe you. GNOMES!



Just then, Zim's yard gnomes appeared to clime out of the walls, and soon they were upon Dib, grabbing him and securing him down onto a blood-splattered table.



Zim came from the shadows on his spider-like legs, a menacing grin of evil on his face.



Zim: Congratulations, Dib! You will be the first human to have the honor of being an Irken test subject. Hurray…



Zim started clapping while Dib struggled trying in vein to free himself.



Dib: What are you planning on doing to me, Zim?



Zim let out a fiendish laugh, curling his hands and throwing his head back, as he does from time to time.



Zim: Why, the same thing I plan on doing to all the other humans on this planet! I am going to infect you with a masterfully designed robotic brain parasite, which upon activation will cause your mind to abandon all free thought! All humans will bow down before Zim, and serve their glorious master! ME! I AM ZIIIIIIIIM!!!



Dib: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!



Zim: YES! And once I have successfully tested it on you, I will spread it to…your precious father.



Dib: My dad? Why him?



Zim: (grunt) Don't realize the immense power your family has? With your “dad” under my control, I could turn everyone into my obedient slave using him wondrous technology!



Dib: Well, it'll never work! MY dad has an electro-shock chip that, in the event of ANY form of brainwashing, will FRY his BRAIN! Rendering him as useless as a breakfast sausage!



Gir over intercom: Attention! Your attention please. AHEM! (Beat boxing)



Zim: grr… (Zim pulls a communicator out of his Pak) GIR! STOP THAT AT ONCE! Are you listening to me?!!!



Gir over intercom: (stops beat boxing) Okee-dokee! And by the way, DINER'S HERE!



Zim: Diner? You ordered out! You let some filthy slime beast see the interior of our impenetrable fortress!?



Dib: Hey, what about me? I penetrated your fortress first, remember?



Zim: SILENCE, big headed Dib-worm! It is time for the dumbening, TO BEGIIIIIIIN!



Zim took a pointy tool attached to a long wire extending into the ceiling with a sharp, evil tube at the end and started moving it slowly towards Dib's head…



Gir over intercom: Aww, your chicken is gonna git cooold! I'm eatin` it! (click)











…to be continued

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