Chapter 1 - Into the unknown

Starting world server. Loading environment. Loading NPCs. Loading complete, registering character into security grid. Please wait…registration complete. Welcome to

MMORPEd

Eddy: Hey double D! Where'd ya go?

Ed: I'm scared, Eddy!

Edd: Welcome, weary travelers! Who may I ask are you?

Eddy: What are you talking about and, what re you wearing?

Ed: Oh no! Double D has been infected with brain parasites from the planet Bob! We must extract the fiends by any means necessary! (Moves up to perform CPR)

Edd: Please, no Ed! NO CPR!!!

Ed: Hiya Double D!

Eddy: So, what happened? You put us in those weird tubes, then I fell asleep, now we're here…where's here?

Edd: Well, Eddy, since none of our scams seemed to work thus far I decided to take the money making into my own hands. Welcome to my prototype virtual reality world!

Ed: Ooo, shiny trees!

Edd: Yes, well, it is a prototype, so there are bound to be bugs here and---

Ed: Bug! Where is the little tyke?

Edd: …there. Just be careful for the time being, okay fellows?

Eddy: Hey double D! What's that over there?

Edd: (hurries over to Eddy) Oh, why that is a city! It took nearly three hours to program in, but it was all quite worth it.

Eddy: Wait. City equals people, people carry money, money we can SCAM OFF EM! COME ON, BOYS!

Edd: But Eddy! This game must be played fairly! Also, I never added a shop of trivial sugar products yet!! Oh, drat.

Ed: Bug? Hello-o-o bug! Where art thou!?

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Edd: Eddy!? Where are you!? Eddy!?

Ed: Oly-oly-oxenfree!

Stranger: Hey, you! You got a minute?

Ed: I got some flypaper!

Stranger: Good. How bout a trade? Your flypaper for a level 12 Flame-sword; what do you say?

Ed: …Sure. (Exchanges items) It was nice doing business, large demon bunny with sulfur for feet.

Stranger: Yeah, that's who/what I am. Bye now. (Disappears into shadows)

Ed: Double D, you might believe this! Huh? (No double D in sight) Double D?

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Eddy: Hey mister! Spare some change?

NPC: Sorry, but I do not associate with thieves!

Eddy: Thief?

Edd: Eddy! (Runs to Eddy) (Panting) Oh, there you are. You left before I could finish explaining. I designated us “classes” based on our personalities and skills. I, with my intellect and sophistication, am a Wizard. Ed, wherever he is, is a warrior because of his intense girth and strength. You, Eddy, are a thief so you can get money easily from the populace of this world with little to no work.

Eddy: SWEET! So I could steal anything from anyone at any time!?

Edd: Well, there is a set of variables involved---

Ed: Hey guys! (Hug) I thought you were absorbed into the exterior of worm-goddess! (Stops hug)

Edd: No, Ed. Unlike my spine, we are perfectly fine and un-digested. Where did you go?

Ed: I got a big stick! (Pulls out sword) I call it Bubba. Hello, Bubba.

Edd: Well, now we can skip the tutorial for purchasing items, I suppose.

Eddy: Good, cause I don't need it! All I need to do is steal anything I want!

Edd: You are partially correct, Eddy. However, if you are caught in your dastardly deeds, you will be imprisoned. You may want to keep your inner thieving drive to yourself. The safest way to make money in this world is to get a job. I, for instance, am a scholar. I just began, so all I do now is organize books. Eventually, after weeks of hard work, I will become a teacher at the Academy! You two had better find a job that you are not only good at, but you like as well.

Ed: I am going to be a fireman! Or maybe a space explorer! Or a jelly dispenser!

Edd: It's best to find a job that requires more physical work for you, Ed.

Eddy: So, there aren't many jobs for me, are there?

Edd: Well…no. Only simple jobs such as farmhand or apprentice are available for a thief.

Ed: Well, I'm off fellows. To the mines!

Edd: I have “built” us a home on the northern side of town. As soon as you are finished playing, report to the house to save and quit your game. I'm off as well. Enjoy yourself, Eddy!

Eddy: …How?

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