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Chapter 1 - Prolouge

It's about a sea otter named Strike Speedwater, once a cabin boy to a band of sea rats, and a river ottermaid maid named Barkwater Streamtail, a lone traveling otter, and where the road of friendship takes them.

Chapter 1 - Prolouge

Chapter 1 - Prolouge


“Strike, come back `ere!” came the voice of Edider Speedwater. She was a homely otter. Always helped her mother out by watching Strike, who always had ideas on what to do next.



“No! Don't wanna come!” said Strike Speedwater the sea otter, he was just coming out of dibbun-hood, but still talked the dibbun language. He ran along the beach, Edider chasing after him.



“Come back `ere or the vermin'll see ya!” Edider shouted.



As if on cue, a wicked looking sea rat walked out from behind the rock. He picked up Strike, who was bawling. He had never seen a sea rat so close before. He could smell his foul breath, like rotten fish, and it scared Strike even more. Edider ran up, her little dagger that she always kept, gripped in her paw.



“Hurt `im and you're a dead beast.” She said coldly. The rat dropped Strike, but only to get a big scimitar out. He lunged at Edider, she tried moving out of the way, but couldn't. As his blade sliced through her, the little dagger slipped out of her lifeless paw. Strike quickly reached for the dagger, and put it in his pocket.



“An' as fer you,” he said grabbing Strike, “You'll be the new cabin boy. Won't that be fun?”



Strike didn't answer because he was bawling again. He never got to see Edider again, but he kept her memory with him always. He would take care of the dagger, he promised. And one day he'd avenge the death of his older sister Edider, who gave her life to make sure he could have his.


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Allester on March 13, 2006, 5:14:36 AM

Allester on
Allesternice prolouge I'll be sure 2 read the rest 6.7 stars

Tane on March 12, 2006, 9:22:54 AM

Tane on
Tanewow! these stories are awesome!

Redwall_Artist on January 1, 2006, 7:05:12 AM

Redwall_Artist on
Redwall_Artistok I'll remeber that.

Pennybrite_Moonsparrow on January 1, 2006, 6:54:44 AM

Pennybrite_Moonsparrow on
Pennybrite_MoonsparrowHmmm, I like it! Poor Edider.

U asked me 4 advice right? All I can say is work on describing your chars a little more. That's it.
Oh yeah, and don't ferget slight accents. For example:

"Come back here or the vermin will see you!"

+ otter accent =

"Come back 'ere or the vermin'll see ya!"

Redwall_Artist on December 31, 2005, 2:32:16 PM

Redwall_Artist on
Redwall_Artistthankee