Chapter 2 - Akire

The vastness of space was big enough to… Erm… Space is really big. Sig had known this since he was an infant, constantly being shown it on diagrams, charts, boards and the occasional gopher. He had never expected to be hurtling through it in his very own rusty, heavy and spluttering cargo ship. “Oookay, I definitely regret this, I definitely regret this!” He muttered to himself, possibly because no one else was there. In the process of being bored Sig somehow thought that it would be wise to press every button combination imaginable on the panel to his right. Sig was clever. So clever in fact that in the space of five minutes he managed to shut down electricity, life support, back-up life support, back-up of the back-up of life support, back-up of the back-up of the back-up of life support and all the engine components and functions. Luckily for Sig, he hadn’t shut off the back-up of the back-up of the back-up of the back-up of life support so he was sustained for approximately the next hour. “Yep, I regret this entirely!” Sig once again repeated to himself. He continued to press buttons, fidget, pull his antennae and smack his head for half an hour, when a large clunk came from behind him. Spinning a perfect one-eighty degree angle and then another three-sixty by accident he ended up facing a girl trying to squeeze herself out of a vent half her size. After much struggling she managed to slide out of the hole like a water balloon and consistently bounced around the room for a while like one too. Standing up and straightening herself, she glared at Sig.

Immediately noticeable were here eyes, they were like blue diamonds, mixed with eyes, mixed with blue diamonds, yep. Wet, slimy, blue diamonds. “Come on!” She cried “I’ve been trapped in that thing for hours now! And you persist on not knowing how to pilot a ship??” The girl smacked herself in the head and walked over to the controls, and plastered Sig onto the floor. She stared at the controls for a few seconds and then punched it. “Owww, stop hitting me…” Came a voice over an unseen, but obviously not unheard speaker. “Just do what you’re supposed to!” Yelled the girl and the ship replied after a heavy sigh (Even though it can’t breathe) “Okaaay…” Within seconds of this happening everything in the ship turned back on and the girl began shining with pride. “How did you do that?!?” Sig exclaimed, for the first time being described with the word exclaimed. “You saw the whole thing, punchy punchy, worky worky. Simple.” She said, “By the way, my name’s Akire, what’s yours?”
“I’m Sig,” He claimed, “But I was wondering, what were you doing cooped up in the vents of my ship?”
“This isn’t your ship, it’s still the armada’s, you just stole it.” Akire said with a certain amount of what sounded like, well I think it was, I dunno, do you think it could have been grudgingly? No no no, that’s not the right word erm… “But anyway, I was in that vent because I was stuck on service duty in Foodcourtia! Pfft, like I was gonna do that! What’s their motto again? Eat then explode or something…” Sig remembered back to Zim being taken away by those two large Irkens, who was Zim? And what is this story about? Why does this story have no solid plot? And why can’t the writer write properly?
“I couldn’t believe I was stuck on Foodcourtia though! I went through seven long years of pilot school to be stuck in some, some… Food… Filled… Thing!” Akire pouted. “You can pilot?” Sig said wide eyed, “Can you actually fly this ship?” Akire glared at Sig and mentioned “What makes you think I can’t? The alternative is having you fly and that prospect doesn’t seem to bright. And that last sentence I said had nineteen syllables.” All this information was true, especially the last sentence. He suddenly felt really stupid and felt like throwing himself the airlock or being eaten by rabid hamsters. Sig stared at the floor for a length of time (I’m not gonna specify how long though) and Akire piped up and said “I’m sorry. You were actually very good for someone who had never flown before, you were better than I was when I was at your experience… Have a cookie.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a biscuit and handed it to Sig. Sig looked up at Akire, “Awww, thankyou…” He said and immediately tackled her to the ground, or metal since they were on a ship, or rusty metal if you wanna be specific. “Ow. Umm, okay. We’d better go now.” She said picking herself up and walking over to the pilot’s seat. “And we’re off! Squee!” The engine, or whatever powers Irken cargo ships, roared to life and the two rocketed towards an unknown destination.
“Quite large isn’t it?” Sig announced, trying to make some conversation since he was such a social animal. “Wow, you can’t get much more obvious than that. Space is big. Yep.” Replied Akire, smiling. Neither of them knows how long they flew for, possibly because there were no clocks inside the ship but in any case, after a period of flying Akire slowed the ship down. “Look there.” Akire said pointing out through the window. Sig, who’d been having fun playing with the ship’s insect population looked through the glass and saw an unmoving Irken military ship. He pressed his face up against the glass, which did no good considering that it made him look ugly and dirtied up the window a fair bit. Rolling her eyes, Akire said through a microphone, “Hello?”
“Helloooo…” Came a voice back through the intercom.
“Who are you?” Akire asked. “Well,” came a reply “I can tell you one thing, I sure do love my pocky!”

And at this point the writer decided to stop writing just to annoy his small but loyal audience. They got very annoyed.

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