Chapter 3 - Outer Space

“You didn’t answer my question…” Replied Akire into the microphone, which was smart considering that it would have been difficult to yell to her. “Oh, yeah! I’m Skof!” There was a long uncomfortable silence. “But, if the silence had cushions,” Sig thought to himself “then perhaps it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable…” This was quite a useless part in the story so the annoying author decided to keep writing.
“And I’m Kirri!” Came a voice over the speaker, “Yaaay! Pocky party!” There was then a high pitched squealing that almost bursts Sig’s eardrums into his head, out through the side of the hull, into space and somewhere else. After the squealing and munching sounds ceased, Akire asked “Umm, are you in any kind of trouble at all?”
“OH!” Came a reply, “Yes! Yes we are! Something happened, I think our power thingy broke and then something else.”
“So do you want a lift?”



“Oh, would you? That would be great!” Came Skof’s voice over the radio, possibly because there was no where else it could “Just fly down here and connect the doors to ours.” And so, with some very careful piloting and quite a few bumps, scratches and the occasional twisting metal, Akire connected the doors of the two ships. Once Skof and Kirri were on board, they walked up and introduced themselves to Akire and Sig. Skof immediately managed to catch Sig’s eye, and with a small shriek threw it back to him. “Thanks!” Sig said popping it back into its socket. “So, where are you going?” Asked Skof. “Oh, I dunno.” Replied Sig, “I don’t think we’ve decided yet.” He turned towards Akire, who just shrugged her shoulders which translated into something like “Pfft, I dunno!”
“Well, lets go to foodcourtia! We need some more pocky!” Kirri said jumping up and down, once again squealing in delight with Skof, occasionally slipping over and fracturing a bone or two. Akire and Sig, who had grown somewhat frightened of these new arrivals decided to comply for fear of having pocky stabbed into their bodily orifices.
Their ship rocketed along, piloted by Akire, who was powered by a few cookies and the need to cease the mind numbing squealing taking place in the rear. Sig, Skof and Kirri may have, but probably didn’t have a good time being flung around like green floppy ragdolls for the entire trip which quickly ended with a large smack into the floor. “Weeeeeee’re here!” Came a familiar voice from the front seat. Akire walked back, picked them up, cleaned up the blood and carried them out into the crowd of what was quite a large mass of people. “Wooow…” Said Sig looking around at the towering buildings, this moment of gawking was stopped by Skof who grabbed Sig around the neck, shouting “Oooh! OOOH!!!” and pointing frantically at a shop aptly named ‘Eat Sugar’. Dragging Sig and Akire along like marionettes, that happened to be manufactured well enough to be mimicking the movements and screams of someone who did not enjoy being pulled along concrete at a high rate of speed, Skof and Kirri entered the shop. The lonely shopkeep stood at the front counter, looking lonely obviously and then looking scared once the pocky-fanatical pair Skof and Kirri closed in on him. “Do you have pocky??” They said in perfect unison, right down to the last microsecond (kind of scary really). He raised a shaky finger and pointed to a wall that was stacked up in to the heights with pocky. The shopkeep then retreated into the corner once the screams of delight issued forth from the mouths of Skof and Kirri, unluckily for Sig and Akire they were blown in to the bustling crowd outside by the high pitched sound waves.
Akire lay dazzled on the ground (or quite possibly on a small child or two). “They really do love their pocky…” Moaned Akire picking herself up and scraping Sig off of her leg. While she was doing this, a running Irken smacked right into her almost knocking her to the ground again, but instead she just rebounded off Sig’s face and let him bear the full brunt of it. Looking around Akire’s leg, Sig decided to look at who was in such a hurry, he was surprised to find that it was the Irken who he’d been hearing so much about, even though he didn’t have ears… Zim. “You dare stand in the path of Zim?” He asked standing up at his full height which just so happened to be close to three quarters of the height of Akire. “What’s your rush?” She replied angrily, answering a question with a question. “The great assigning is about to begin!! I need to get to the Armadaaaa!!” Said Zim, being the first person to give a straight answer. “You’re an invader?” Asked Akire in absolute awe at how someone so unbelievably, indescribably, uncomprehendingly small could become one. “Yes! And I need to get there right now!”
“Come with us then!”
“Yes! You take ZIM!!!” He said with his arms stretched into the air as though expecting to rocket off into the space at that very moment, or if he did, probably just smacking into the large sign above his head. At this point Skof and Kirri appeared, back from their sugary and violent session at the sweet store. Skof seemed especially happy, sporting a new accessory. “I got a free cat hat!! Isn’t it just adorable??” Squealed Skof ecstatically bouncing around from the happiness and the sugar rush that had just set in from the large amount of Pocky that had been consumed. Sig didn’t say it, but silently he agreed. Not getting a response from anyone, Skof asked “What? Do you think that I’m some kind of freak or something?” She had decided at one point or another to aim it all at Sig, “Erm, no! No! You look… Lovely!” Replied the scared irken. Thanks to the sugar, Skof had gained a new ability to change moods at a flick of a switch, most likely someone was playing around with this switch. “Lovely? W-”
“Okay!” Akire shouted loudly breaking away from the sugar-driven conversation taking place, “Quick introduction! This is Zim! Zim, Skof. Skof, Zim. Zim, Kirri. Kirri, Zim! Introduction’s done! Onto the ship!!” Akire continued to herd them all onto the ship like cattle with springs on their feet and a constant flow of pocky into their mouths. Deafened once more by the squealing pair, Akire launched the ship into space. This was quickly muffled by more chocolate wafer sticks being shoved constantly into the cavernous mouths of these two girls. “So… Zim-” Sig started,
“What?!? How do you know my name? How much more do you know?!? What are you hiding??!” Zim yelled loudly, but not loudly enough to get the girls to notice obviously. “You said your name before…” Sig replied, startled by the crazed miniscule Irken. “You speak liiies!! No, wait…. Oh, okay.” Zim said. There was a period of silence which was then fractured into a billion tiny pieces by the wailing of a siren coming from behind the ship. Akire, who had been quite happily piloting the ship, uttered a very rude word that some might find “offensive”(including teachers at my school apparently…). The rear gate of the rusting ship gaped open to reveal that they were now, in fact connected to another ship, which was lucky considering that if it wasn’t then they would more than likely be sucked out into space and exploded by the vacuum, which wouldn’t be pleasant. Anyway, a large authority figure stepped forward onto the ship, past all the green lumpy (and a few chocolate covered) irkens on the ground and up to Akire. “Do you know what speed you were doing back there?” Asked the irken in a deep voice, possibly because a high voice would have sounded very strange. “Does it really matter?” Replied Akire, with a question that shouldn’t really be called a reply. The irken looked down at the gaping hole that should have been a speed-of-light-metre. “I’m guessing that you didn’t…” He said, once again in his stupidly deep voice, “Come with me.” He hooked his hands around Akire’s arm and turned to what should have been his voot cruiser to find instead a closed up gate. Zim had apparently pulled a fast one and taken off with the ship to get to the great assigning. His face immediately dropped, but before anyone could pick it up for him again he collapsed onto the metal in a green lumpy heap.
Skof, who had been silent for a while now, because she had nothing to add to the story, promptly stood up and walked over to his body and raised a finger pointing at his head and said the most appropriate word that had been said all day (or night, you can’t really tell in space) which just so happened to be “Lol.”

The writer would like to now apologise for writing such a horribly horrible part in the story, perhaps he will get his knack for writing back sometime through the next few days… :(

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