Chapter 5 - Letter 5: To Tsuyoku; My Wise, Second Father

Letter 5
To Tsuyoku; My Wise, Second Father
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It was the next day before I knew it. I awoke eariler usual, probably because I was so excited about Heishi coming over to play. The sun wasn't even rising over the distant mountains when I rolled over and opened my eyes to see the purple light of dawn just outside my bedroom window. I stared outside and watched as the sky slowly grew brighter. I thought about going back to sleep, but as soon as I closed my eyes my thoughts began to race; imagining all the fun Shizuka, Heishi, and I were going to have in a few hours.

A small sigh pushed it's way out of my lips as I realized that going back to sleep was nearly impossible now that I was awake. Well... I guess it wouldn't hurt to get ready... At least it would be something to do and that way i will be ready to go outside and play as soon as Heishi gets here.

I silently slid out of my covers and onto the hardwood floor. The ground was freezing as usual so I ran to the other side of the room to where my socks were and pulled them on my chilled feet.

Quietly I changed into my usual white shirt that was far too big for my small body. I slipped both legs into my tan baggy pants and pulled them up to my waist. With one hand holding onto the waist of my pants and I then wrapped my red ribbon around my torso and quickly tied the two ends together.

I glanced around the room for a moment and noticed that I had forgotten to fix my bed covers. I tiptoed over to the egde of the matress and tucked the ruffled covers back into place. Though my bed-making skills were not nearly as good as Katana's, I was still pleased after putting all the pillows and blankets back into their rightful place.

Well... I guess I am all ready... The only thing left is my shoes... But I better not put my shoes on here, that might make too much noise and I don't want to wake anyone up… I'll just carry them down and set them by the door, I thought to myself. Heishi shouldn't be coming until after breakfast, but I want to make sure that I am ready to go outside right when he gets here.

I grabbed my lace shoes that lay beside the wooden door of my room and heaved a sigh as I prepared to make my way downstairs. Slowly and silently, I turned the knob and opened the door that separated my room from the hallway and quietly tiptoed out of my room. I checked the rooms where Tsuyoku and his family slept to make sure that I hadn't woken them up. After a few moments of silence, I figured that they were still asleep and proceeded down the wooden staircase as quietly as I possibly could.

I was able to walk down the normally squeaky steps without making a sound. Halfway down the steps, I heard a small noise, which startled me. I stopped in my tracks to see if it was only my imagination. The noise was quiet and sounded as if someone was tiptoeing around in the kitchen. My gripped tightened on the heels of my pitch-black, lace up shoes and my breathing slowed. I perked up my ears, waiting for the noise-maker to show themself. Suddenly Tsuyoku peered out from behind the doorway that separated the living room from the dinning room.

``Tenshi?" Tsuyoku's warm eyes widened as he stared at me. "What are you doing up so early? Couldn't sleep?'' He asked kindly, his caring smile gleamed brightly at me.

``N-No I just woke up and I wanted to be ready when Heishi comes over... and well... I just wanted to put my shoes by the door.'' I stuttered in a surprised voice. I could feel an awkward silence cover the air in the room as I stood motionless on the cold steps of the place I called ``home''; waiting for Tsuyoku to answer.

``Oh I see. Young Heishi is coming over today?I am sure you will have a lot of fun playing together." Tsuyoku smiled brightly. "I just have one bit of advice for you; make sure that no one is left out.'' He gazed back at me with both sadness and seriousness locked into his normally kind face. ``A word to the wise Tenshi, it is almost impossible for one to have two friends at the same time. One will almost always be left out, so make sure that you spend your time evenly with both Heishi and Shizuka. Understand?'' He gave me a quick smile and pateitnly waited for me so reply.

``I think so.'' I answered after a few moments of thought. Tsuyoku's wisdom was displayed once again to me. He always knew what to say and when to say it. I was too young to fully understand everything he had said to me but I knew that advice from a man such as Tsuyoku should never be taken lightly.

Depsite the fact that I appreciated Tsuyoku's advice, something else was on my mind; a question nudging at the back of my mind, begging to be asked. I want to ask him, but isn't it rude to butt into other people's business? I want to know! I heaved a deep sigh and built up my courage. Suddenly my mouth began to blurt out the question I had been wondering every morning since I came to live here.

``Um… Ts-Tsuyoku? Why do you always leave so early… in the morning and don't come back until dark? Where are you… during the day?'' The words stumbled out of my mouth and hung in the silent morning air. My gaze fell to the floor and at my cold stocking feet.

I could feel Tsuyoku's eyes staring. Were they angry? Sad? Annoyed? I wish I had the courage to look, but I was so afraid... so afraid that I might have said something I should not have. I immediately turned red in the face from embarrassment. I wish I hadn't asked that, now he's going to be angry with me! Why am I always so nosey!? I scowled at myself as Tsuyoku let out a small sigh.

``Well Tenshi, to tell you the truth… It is my job to keep this village safe for everyone.'' He didn't sound angry at all, only sad. Tsuyoku... ``Me and a few other villagers keep the monsters from roaming into our homes and harming the residents." I took a quick glance from the floor to Tsuyoku and to see him lean against the wooden wall. He sighed as he pushed his platinum blonde hair away from his eyes.

" Your father… when he lived here, that is, was also one of the village's protectors.'' Tsuyoku spoke with such seriousness that it was beginning to scare me. It was rare to hear Tsuyoku speak to someone with a serious tone, but it almost always seemed to happen whenever he spoke about my father. I never did understand why that was.

A silence filled the house once again. I wanted to say something; anything. But all I was able to do was stare at the floor and hope the moment would pass. I was too afraid to look at Tsuyoku again, I was convinced that I had reminded him of something he wished he could forget. Was it my father? I couldn't tell... but it seemed like everytime I mentioned my father, kind Tsuyoku would get that serious look on his face. I couldn't bare to look at it anymore. I felt so guilty for upsetting him all the time. It seemed to be the only thing I was capable of doing when it came to Tsuyoku.

``Tenshi? Is something bothering you?'' Tsuyoku's question broke through my thoughts as if they were thin sheet of glass. Without even thinking I raised my head up and met Tsuyoku's worry-filled eyes.

``Oh, no! Nothing is wrong. I just… I was just thinking. That's all,'' was all I could manage to stutter out. A thought suddenly came to me as I stared at Tsuyoku. Maybe I could make Tsuyoku feel better about my dad if I tried to be like him... I could protect the village with Tsuyoku just like my dad used to... My thoughts paused for a moment. But... I don't think I could ever be as good a fighter as my father. He is a legend and I am just a little kid who barely knows how to fight with sticks… I don't think I will ever be able to defend the village as good as he did… But... if it would make a little of Tsuyoku's pain go away... I would do it.

Then once again Tsuyoku's voice broke my train of thoughts and they were shoved to the back of my mind.

``Last night was really bad. The monsters were only a few days away from the village.'' Tsuyoku's voice became as cold as ice as he lowered his gaze to eh hard wood floor. ``They keep coming closer, someday, they may even make it inside.''

My eyes widened as the words sunk in. Tsuyoku really does need my father here... That's why he is always so sad when I mention him... Well if Tsuyoku needs help then I want to do all I can!

``I-I'll help you Tsuyoku!'' I blurted out without thinking. The words flew from my throat and out of my mouth as if they had a mind of their own and knew exactly what they were doing. ``I know I'm just a little kid… and I'll never be able to fight as well as my father but please let me help! I know you probably want my father's more than a little kid like me... but Tsuyoku... I would help in anyway I could if it could take ayway your sadness.''

``Tenshi?'' Tsuyoku stared at me with his eyes wide open. He looked as though he was at a loss for words. He closed his eyes and smiled. ``Just hearing you say that... It means so much to me." Tsuyoku beamed at me. "But I won't allow you to do such a thing until you are at least twelve. No… older than that maybe.'' Tsuyoku said sternly with a smile.

``But I can help! I'm strong and I beat Shizuka at swords all the time!'' I shouted back; hoping that it would change Tsuyoku's mind.

``Fighting monsters is different then fighting a eight year old child. Shizuka doesn't use black magic, unlike demons and monsters.'' Tsuyoku answered coolly.

I couldn't say anything in my defense this time. I didn't even know what black magic was let alone know how to defend myself against it. Black magic… I have to learn about it… so I can be as good as my dad!

``Wh-What is black magic?'' I stuttered.

``Black magic is an evil force of elemental or non-elemental energy that is used to attack an enemy. `` Tsuyoku's answer seemed to come without him even giving a thought about it. It was as though he had been schooled on the subject and he knew ever aspect there was to know about it.

I thought to myself for a moment, trying to understand what he said, but there were too many words that meant a little less than nothing to me. Without even meaning to I stared back at him with the most bewildered look I had ever given him. He and his wisdom went way beyond my understanding.

``Okay… how about this? Fire can be used in a spell to attack your enemy, or rather, the person or thing that you are fighting. Once you summon the fire with a spell, it is at your command and it will do anything you ask it to.'' Tsuyoku paused and checked to make sure that I was listening to what he was saying. ``Do you understand, Tenshi?''

I nodded quickly. This time it made a little more sense. So you can attack using fire and other things too. Maybe if I learn some magic, then I can help Tsuyoku with the monsters and I will be able to defend the village that was nice enough to accept me. And not only that… but maybe… just maybe I could be as good a fighter as my legendary father. That way Tsuyoku won't need my father here... I can help him defend the village.

``Tsuyoku? Will you teach me magic so I can help you fight the monsters?'' I asked quietly. I began figetting with my shoe's laces; afraid of the answer Tsuyoku might give me.

``You want to be like your legendary father, young Tenshi?'' Tsuyoku asked with an unexpectedly calm voice.

He knew! But how? How did he know that? I stared at Tsuyoku; my eyes widened with surprise and my mouth dropped open a little. There were sometimes when I was almost certain that Tsuyoku could read minds.

``Oh don't look so surprised. It's like I said before, we are more alike than you think Tenshi.'' Tsuyoku laughed casually. I smiled back, releaved to hear him laugh.

``Tsuyoku?'' I began.

``Yes?'' He answered softly in a tired voice as he stood as still as the surrounding walls.

``Is my father really… a legend?'' I asked as I tightly grasped one of the banister rails in my tiny hands. My hands were sweaty, making the rail a little difficult to hold onto. I tried to ignore my difficulties with the banister as I concentrated on Tsuyoku's face. My stomach churned with uneasiness as I awaited his reply. Asking questions like this always made me nervous especially whenever I asked Tsuyoku. His everlasting knowledge sometimes made me feel like I was wasting his time by asking him such silly little questions. But despite my childish questions, Tsuyoku never once treated me like an inferior child. he always answered me as if I were an adult of the same age.

``Yes Tenshi, your father really is a legend. Everyone who lives anywhere near here knows your father as ``The Demon Slayer''. He became a great knight and saved many people.'' Tsuyoku stopped for a minute. A small piece of his golden-silver hair fell in front of his weary eyes. They weren't as bright as they used to be. The sadness he was feeling turned his golden-lime eyes to dark hazel. ``He is still a hero in many people's hearts.'' Small rays of sunlight came in through the kitchen window and surrounded Tsuyoku, giving him an almost godly appearance.

I kept my dark amethyst eyes on the kind man who now looked like a sad and hopelessly lost angel, surrounded by the golden glow of morning's first light. He was always so smart, so wise, so aware... but in that very moment he seemed as if he were more lost and alone than I had ever seen him.

I dropped my shoes and ran down the cold wooden steps to that caring man who was left in is own suffocating sadness. I ran into the blinding light that surrounded him and wrapped my tiny arms around his waist. I didn't want him to suffer all by himself, so I held onto him to let him know that he was not alone. I held on tight to the man that I could call ``father''.

``Tsuyoku, please don't be sad. I don't like it when you are sad. It's not you Tsuyoku.'' I could feel the tears working their way out. They silently flowed from my eyes and dripped on to the sleeves of my gigantic shirt. "I won't ask you about my dad anymore if it makes you sad. I know talking about him upsets you... I'll never do it again. I promise!"

I couldn't tell if Tsuyoku was crying but as soon as he wrapped his long arms around my head and neck, he held on tightly. This was the second time that Tsuyoku had used me as his support, but this time it was me who brought on Tsuyoku sadness. He was upset because I had to be nosey and remind him of something that he wanted to forget. I was angered and I even hated myself for making Tsuyoku; the one person I could count on for anything, sad. It was my fault… I made Tsuyoku cry.

``Tenshi,'' Tsuyoku said quietly in a sad voice. ``You are becoming more like your father as the days go on. You will accomplish many things in your life. I can see that now, even though you're young, you hold a soul that is very mature. And you carry yourself with such splendid grace that I know you will become as great a man as your father and don't you ever let yourself think otherwise." Tsuyoku chucklled to himself. "I think that you might even surpass that legendary man.'' Tsuyoku's voice wavered as he spoke as if he were trying to hold back the tears.

He knew… he knew exactly what was going through my mind… he knew that I felt inferior to my father and how much I wanted to live up my father's immortal name. Tsuyoku knew that I wanted to be like him for the moment I heard about him. It was Tsuyoku who knew how I felt… It was Tsuyoku who always comforted me… And it was Tsuyoku who was here with me now… It was always Tsuyoku who treated me like his own son… and it was then that I decided to return the favor and do the only thing he ever asked of me…

``Tsuyoku? Can I call you ``father'' too?'' I asked as my flowing tears slowed to a stop.

I raised my head to look up at him when two drops of water softly landed on my already wet face. Tsuyoku was crying too, only this time I don't think he was sad.

``Tenshi, I would love for you to call me your father.'' Tsuyoku said happily as he continued to cry silently.

Moments passed by quickly as Tsuyoku and I held on to each other for support, surrounded by the bright morning light. He then loosened his strong grip and knelt down next to me.

``I'm a little thirsty, do you want to sit down and have some milk with me?'' Tsuyoku sounded so tired; it was as if his tears had drained him of all his remaining energy. His golden-silver hair clung to his wet face where his tears were beginning to dry. The golden rays of the sun still surrounded his soft facial features and created a halo, making him look exactly like an angel sent down from heaven.

``Yes, please.'' I answered quietly as I stared at him in awe.

My stomach then growled loudly and interrupted the moment. I turned red with embarrassment. My stomach always made loud noises whenever I would have preferred it to be silent.

I didn't even notice that I was so hungry; the early morning's events kept my mind occupied with other thoughts, but now that they were over, my hunger grew quickly.

Tsuyoku led me into the kitchen and pulled out two glasses that were exactly the same and set them on the table. I had just begun to sit down in my eating spot when he glided across the room to the icebox and pulled out the huge jug that the milk was kept in. The kind and tired man then carefully shuffled back to the table where he had left the glasses.

Tsuyoku smiled as he poured the milk with ease and watched as the white liquid slowly flowed to the top of the first glass. He handed me the full glass of milk and I took it from him, trying to be cautious enough not to spill.

I quickly began gulping down the refreshing drink sipping and slurping every drop. It cooled and soothed my dry throat. Tsuyoku giggled as he watched me enjoy my milk. He poured his cup of the white liquid and smiled at me with a contented look on his face.

As soon as I had finished my glass of milk Tsuyoku sat down to enjoy his drink. I set my cup down with care and watched Tsuyoku quietly sip up the white liquid. Funny, his eating habits are nothing like his drinking habits. I remembered back to the very first day I had met Tsuyoku and his family. One of the first things I saw was he and his son, Shizuka slurping up their breakfast. Porridge flew everywhere.

Tsuyoku paused from his drinking and stared back at me. I guess he had noticed that my eyes were on him the entire time. I quickly moved them to the floor and felt my face fluster. I was blushing. I knew I was blushing.

``Is something wrong?'' Tsuyoku asked innocently.

``N-No! Not a thing!'' I answered too quickly, he is going to see right through me. He's not going to believe me.

``Tenshi.'' Tsuyoku began sternly.

``Yes?'' My voice wavered slightly. He is going to hear suspicion in my voice.

``You have milk all over your face.'' Tsuyoku laughed.

I almost fell out of my chair. Here I was thinking that he was upset with me and all he wanted to tell me was that I had milk on my face. Calm down Tenshi, I said to myself as I wiped the dry white spots away with one of the long sleeves of my gigantic shirt.

``Tenshi, about what you said earlier…'' I gulped quickly as Tsuyoku began to speak and then stop periodically to take small sips of his milk. ``Would you like me to teach you about magic and the sort?'' I let out a small sigh and then sat for a moment in silence to realize what Tsuyoku had just said.

``You are going to teach me?'' I asked with excitement as I stood up in my seat and almost knocked over Tsuyoku's drink and mine when I bumped into the table, luckily though, Tsuyoku was able to catch both of them before then fell to the ground. I quickly sat down in my seat as my face turned red with embarrassment. Tsuyoku simply smiled.

``I'll teach you, but only if you want me to. I was going to teach Shizuka too when the time was right. If you want me to I can teach you both at the same time.'' Tsuyoku smiled kindly. He finished the last of his milk with one final sip and then set the cup down onto the wooden table.

``I want to learn magic. Please teach me!'' I said with enthusiasm. My eyes then fell from Tsuyoku to the two empty glasses on the table. The two cups were now exactly the same again. First they were empty, then they were full, and now they are empty again.

``Good, well that is settled. I am sorry to say this, but I have to leave now.'' Tsuyoku stood up from his seat and glanced at me for a second. ``I am happy to hear that you want to call me your father. I know that I could never be as great as he is but I will certainly try my very best.'' He smiled and stared down at the two empty glasses on the dark wooden table below him. ``I used to have another…'' The rest of Tsuyoku's words were lost in his throat as if they didn't want to come out.

``What Tsuyoku? I couldn't hear you.'' I asked as I watched his golden-lime eyes disappear behind his hair. The sunshine came through the window and illuminated his milky white skin, but I could not see his eyes. They were hidden behind the shadows of his golden hair.

Tsuyoku stood still for a moment or two, not making a sound. ``I hope you have a good day, playing with Heishi and Shizuka.'' He turned from the table and slowly walked to the door. ``Please remember not to leave either one out. Spend your time equally with both.'' Tsuyoku said as he silently opened the door and walked out without a word.

I wanted to follow him; I wanted to find out what he really said. But I couldn't, something was holding me there in my seat at the dark wooden table with the two empty glasses and the heavenly rays of light coming through the kitchen window.

I stayed in that spot until the soft warm sunrays laid themselves on the dark wood table, reflecting off of all the tiny specks of dust that were practically invisible without the sunlight. I was so upset with myself that I couldn't do anything except sit there, staring at the two empty glasses, and think about what had happened in that moment where Tsuyoku slipped into silent sadness.

I was so out of it that I didn't even hear Katana come down the steps. ``Oh, Tenshi? Are these your shoes, dear?'' Katana asked as she silently entered the kitchen. She must have noticed the dazed look on my face after she asked me about my shoes because right after, the chipper morning voice she had turned into worry. ``Tenshi? Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call for the doctor? Tenshi?''

I could hear her; but my thoughts were blocking all my senses. I tried to find the voice to speak to her or the strength to shake my head but I couldn't. It was as though I were paralyzed. Katana came over to me and shook me gently. I saw her smile as she noticed that I was reacting to her soft shakes. I blinked my eyes and turned to face the kind woman, with her sweet smile.

``Oh Tenshi, you scared the living daylights out of me. Are you okay?'' she sighed with concern. I looked up at her and stared into her bright golden-lime eyes. I tried to stop them, I really tried, but I couldn't stop the tears. ``Tenshi what is the matter, dear?'' she questioned as she wrapped her slender arms around my small body. Her golden hair, which hadn't turned white from wisdom, fell all around me, like a cage of golden silk.

She smelled so sweet, just like a rose. She reminds me of someone. Someone with the same sent, same gentle touch, the same warm heart and love. Who is this person that is just like Katana?

``Katana? I made Tsuyoku sad…'' My tears caused my throat to go dry and I began to choke as I tried to speak. ``I asked him something that was bad. Do you think he will forgive me?'' I cried.

``Oh Tenshi, Tsuyoku would never be angry with you for asking him something. That's just the way children…'' I cut into the end of what she was going to say.

``But he was really upset. I don't want him to be sad. That's the last thing he needs.'' I bawled. She didn't answer me for a while; she was waiting for me to calm down. She ran her slender fingers through my tangled mass of spiky hair and held me close.

Katana gently held on to me and allowed me to cry out all of my troubles, which weren't as many as an adult's. Even though they were few, the problems I had were very important to me.

When I was finished crying she let me go and sat down in the chair next to me, still smiling with concern.

``Tenshi let me tell you something.'' Her golden-lime eyes stared into my own dark purple eyes. ``Tsuyoku loves you like you were his own son, he would never become angry with you. Never.'' She smiled kindly. The sun's rays blanketed her in the same way it surrounded Tsuyoku. Their gold hair and perfect skin made them both look like angels.

Katana and Tsuyoku were so much alike. Katana looked just like Tsuyoku when she smiled, they both gave off the same warm and soft aura when the smiled. Their eyes brightened the same way too.

Her comforting words made me feel better and reminded me that Heishi was coming over today. I shouldn't be upset especially when Heishi and Shizuka will be meeting for the first time. ``Thank you Katana, I feel a lot better now.'' I'll wait for Tsuyoku to come home and then I will apologize to him. This I promise.
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Okay I think this was the last one I fixed and was never able to post.... it's been so long. ^^; Sorry for the wait.

Seifer-sama

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