Chapter 5 - Mission Umpossible

The Adventures of Generic Hero Guy!



Chapter 5, Mission Umpossible.



Our hero has rescued the damsel in distress and headed to…uhm…what was the kingdom called again? It doesn't have a name? Oh, okay. They are headed to whatever the kingdom the damsel came from, for the beheading of our generic hero.



Britney Spears's “Toxic” plays in the background.



GHG: Eh? Whats with the crappy background music?



Shut up. I write the story, I choose the music I listen to while writing the story, so put a sock in it before I type you putting a sock in it.



GHG: I'll be good…So. Damsel in Distress. What is your name?



DID: Don't talk to me you lowly commoner. I, Princess Damselindis Tress, do not talk to trash like you.



GHG: …You're not putting any thought into these names, are you?



I think its pretty obvious that I'm not. Now stop talking to me.



GHG: …Right. So, Damselindis…



Damselindis (because “DID” isn't fun): I will only be referred to as PRINCESS Damselindis Tress. And stop talking to me. I said I don't want to talk to you.



GHG: -Sigh- Fiiiine. I shall talk to White Horse With Spot On Behind. How are you White Horse With Spot On Behind?



WHWSOB: …



GHG: …That's it. We're going on an adventure. Damselindis, you're coming with me and White Horse With Spot On Behind.



Damselindis: WHAT!? I DEMAND YOU BRING ME BACK TO MY KINGDOM WHERE YOU SHALL BE BEHEADED. After your beheading, I will reconsider letting you go on this adventure.



GHG: Hrrrm. I do believe I need my head for my adventure…



Damselindis: Pshaw. What is a head good for, seeing, hearing, smelling, and thinking. All are non-important. Now, to my kingdom!



GHG: …Look. I have other missions to do. -Whips out generic quest letter- I must go slay the dragon in the Constantly Being Obliterated By Dragons village, and then I have to program the king's VCR. So please let me just finish these other quests.



Damselindis: -Mutter- Very well. My script does call for me to be kidnapped a few times. But once we're done, it's a beheading for you, and then your organs and body parts will be supplied to the Generic Taverns for their Thursday Night Mystery Meat Specials! BWAH HAHAHAHA.



GHG: o_o



Damselindis: …Oh. I've said too much.



GHG: …I'll try not to think about it…Well, it should take us a few days to reach the Constantly Being Obliterated By Dragons village…I hope they give me food there…



-The scene fades while the Pussycat Dolls “Don't cha” plays in the background-



GHG: WHATS WITH THE CRAPPY MUSIC?



(A note from Snake: I do listen to Britney Spears and I love Don't cha. Go me. o.o)

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