Chapter 1 - Twilight drools, Anne Rice rules

I am growing soo tired of people saying to me in real life and on here that I joined the "I hatz twilight bandwagon cuz it cool hurhur" to me and saying anime sucks along with the legendary ANNE RICE. Listen up you little worms this is my opinion, dont flame me for it either just cause I am using my voice either cause you'll just get your sorry lil post erased. Dont like what you are reading? Boohoo DONT READ. No one's pointing a gun at your head.

I have a right to say the books a peice of crap CAUSE I READ IT. Waste of time but glad I didnt buy it.

FMA, FMA BROTHERHOOD, Hellsing, Gundam Wing, Witch Hunter Robin, and the ghost in the shell series plot lines and characters, along with their personalities run CIRCLES around these retarded Twilight characters. Twilight is pretty much like a horrible sappy mary sue vampire fanfiction with the way it was written. It felt as if I was reading a grade school book you find in a literary text book at school the writing sucked more than Paris Hilton. Handsome and gorgeous and beautiful were the only every other thing that was said about Cullen. Would it kill Stephenie Meyer to pick up a damn dictionary every now and then to find more creative ways to describe Edward without sounding like a teenage hormone crazed giddy highschool girl that says 'like' and 'omg' in every other word? You want creative writing that makes you feel as if the character is living and breathing, and described with such perfection it makes you either impressed, or want the character? Read this:

"I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes-.
Wait a second.
Do you know who I am?
I'm thinking maybe you're a new reader and you've never heard of me.
Well, if that's the case, allow me to introduce myself, which I absolutely crave doing at the beginning of every one of my books.
I'm the vampire Lestat, the most potent and lovable vampire ever created, a supernatural knock out, two hundred years old, but fixed forever in the form of a twenty year old male with features and figure you'd die for-and just might. I'm endlessly resourceful, and undeniably charming. Death, diease, time, gravity, they mean nothing to me.
Only two things are my enemy: daylight, because it renders me completly lifeless and vulnerable to the burning rays of the sun, and conscience. In other words, I'm a condemned inhabitant of eternal night and an eternally tormented blood seeker.
Doesn't that make me sound irresistible?

And before I continue with my fantasy let me assure you:
I know how damned well how to be a full-fledged, post-Renaissance, post-nineteenth century, post-modern, post-popular writer. I don't deconstruct nothin'. That is, you're going to get a full-dress story here-with a beginning, middle, and end. I'm talking plot, characters, suspense, the works. I'm going to take care of you. So rest easy and read on. You won't be sorry. You think I don't want new readers? My name is thirst, baby I must have you!"

~Lestat's introduction from Blood Canticle

(All without saying beautiful, gorgeous or repeating a sexy appearence like phrase twice.)

This guy is known by any true vampire fan not just for his looks but for his egotism that makes you love yet hate him and for his charm and brat prince like tendencies and his occasional suffering showing he actually has a heart, but all cullen is going to be remembered for is a sparkly mountain lion eating fruit. And Jacob as a muscular macho man always showing off his chest.
(I'll give credit to Ed with one line he said to Bella in the previews where he says. "Doesnt he own a shirt?")
Also Jacob was hot at first, til he went all 'armstrong flexy muscleness rip shirt off whenever he can' on everyone in the next book. That and he cut his hair, big turn off there. He had sex appeal with that hair and he had intrique and a mysterious aura about him. But when he went all macho man, that saddened me.

Screw Cullen and Jacob. I play for Team Lestat, Team Elric, and Team Kiba (Wolf's rain Kiba not Naruto's Kiba.)

If you dont like that then oh well. But hey this is my opinion and im saying why! So dont you dare you all go saying I hated Twilight at the start cause it was coolz. I was interested in the series and picked up the book, but of course that was a waste of time, few days out of my life I will never get back, thanks Stephanie Meyer.

I might post new chapters later to further prove why some of the plots to the anime I mentioned are BETTER than this book and movie series that is far too overrated.

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