Chapter 0 - Confusion

AN: This is a short one-shot I wrote a while ago. I felt like I just had to write something like this for some reason...anyway, I have a list to go through and this is the first one I decided to write. It's just a shortie, so don't go mad. Basically, Navi's POV and a bit of Magax from now and then.

-o-o-o-o-o-

As Much As The Stars Shine

Navi's POV

It's not really what they think of you that worries me. But it is what you think of yourself.

I've known you for several years now, ever since I was sixteen, and you don't look like you have aged a day over twenty. I realise it's a curse, but it can be a blessing too. Everlasting youth is probably what my grandma would have wanted.

But for you, it's a curse, not a blessing. You feel as if your existance isn't validated at all. You feel as if you can't achieve anything-that you are doomed to eternal damnation. It's as if you would want death to suck you up. I know how you feel- ever since my parents were killed, I've wanted to be taken out of this world. I've managed to steel myself on, knowing that once I die, I'll join them. But you can't join your parents. Because you can't die can you?

I'm watching you sitting by the tree near to the fireside, staring up into the sky. They say that every person who dies becomes another star in the sky. I wonder which stars your parents are? I wonder which stars mine are? I don't know, but I know that I take pride, as they watch over me, keeping me safe all the time. So why aren't your parents keeping you safe?

You and I have been through more dangers than I can count. But somehow, we've always pulled through, even if it's with a scratch or two. We keep going for some reason, and that reason is to stop Hubrid Nox.

I understand now why you loathe him so much. He killed your parents-it must be heartbreaking to know that you were once made a slave for him after your parents died. How you escaped, I'll never know. But I think it's something to do with that small scar on your face...

Something must have happened for you to get that scar. Something terrible-because scars are supposed to fade away with time. This one, as far as I know, is still there. As I look over at you, yep, it's still there. You say it happened centuries ago, but that would have faded ages ago. Is it a scar of the ages? Or a scar of Hubrid's slaves that they will always carry with them forever?

I see you smirk and chuckle to yourself. Something funny? I hope so, because life certianly isn't when you're so confused.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Magax's POV

I've always thought that people like Navi would live lives that made mine seem even more desolate. Since her parents were killed...we seem so alike. It's kind of like she's a mirror image of me at times. We think almost the same in most matters, and both hate Hubrid. Well, that's something the world think. Heh, good joke. I haven't cracked one in a while.

I'm so jealous of those people who have all their families. I wonder if they know how painful it is to have someone so close ripped away...

When my parents were taken away from me, I was only a kid. Young and without purpose. I think I was about eleven...then Hubrid chased me for nine years. When I was twenty, I finally was caught. I still curse that day...

I don't want to recount it again. It was just too horrible.

I don't want to recall anything from before I met you.

Things since then have been filled with even more danger than usual for me. What made it even more exiting was the fact that I actually had someone who was willing to fight by my side. A comrade. A friend. It seemed such an unusual concept for me, but you weren't put off by my arrogance at all. You just kept it up until I relented. And I'm glad I relented. I learnt that not all people are like Hubrid, as I thought before.

People like you should be praised as high as Faerieland. You were the only one willing to help me put my past behind me and find a future - a future that could help me in more ways than one. Opening up seems to help me all the time. You always seem to understand - no matter how stupid I am. I figure that you're the smart one and I'm the stupid one. But you say I'm way smarter. You flatter me so much I feel better and better about myself. Maybe that's one of the reasons...I...

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Navi's POV

Magax hasn't been himself since a few nights ago. I'm worried that something is seriously wrong with him. Maybe he's sick? No, he's been looking well - it's just that he's a whole lot more quiet. Is he reverting back to his old ways? I sure hope not.

I really want him to stay the same old friendly guy I know. He's pretty much the only person I trust. I have to admit, at first, I was really scared of him. Knowing that he'd been such a ruthless person in the past made me fear for my life. But as time passed, I realised he wasn't so scary. In fact, he wasn't scary at all. He's not someone to be scared of, unless you're in his bad books.

Then you're in trouble.

He's been fighting Hubrid for so long. It's like he'll be fighting him forever. His past makes it hard for him to face an endless future of all this torture. Magax doesn't know how he could get rid of Hubrid once and for all. All he knows is that he has to keep fighting. I know I'll keep fighting by his side until Hubrid is defeated. Then life can actually begin for him.

I don't really know what I'm going to make of my life yet. It's a little silly - I'm trying to get Magax started on his life when in fact, I haven't even begun my own for real yet. But I think the past few years have been more real than I could ever imagine. My parents never let me experience the real world for myself - I guess I'm well on my way already then.

But...there's another issue. I've never told this to anyone, especially Magax, because he wouldn't understand and I'd hate to have to go through it all. I would like to, one day, settle down with someone, have kids, watch them grow up, get grandkids and die one day. All but the latter may not happen. I know I'm going to die one day. It's like that saying - Three certian things in life - being born, death and taxes.

I'd hate to tell Magax I might be leaving one day. I don't want to leave. I feel like I've lived more in these last few years than the rest of my life combined. But I know that I'm going to have to leave one day. Could be tommorow, could be in a week, maybe in ten years. But I just don't want to leave his side. I don't want to leave him all alone. If he's all alone, he would never be the same. He would go back to the lonely reclusive self.

I just can't.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Magax's POV

Navi's worried. I can tell.

It's like a long time ago I learnt to read her mind or something. Although that is impossible, it could happen. But wouldn't that mean it was possible? Ow...my head hurts.

That's not all that's hurting. Pain slams through my heart every day. It's because of several factors. I don't even know what some of them are, but I know what two of them are at least.

I don't want Navi to leave. If she leaves, I'll be all alone again, like I was for the worse nine years of my life. But I know I can't stop her from leaving whenever she wants to. It's not like I can make her stay. I can't force her into staying, so it's only her own will that's holding her here. What if she doesn't want to stay any more? She'll leave. I could never bear that.

There's another reason too. I don't want to talk about it. I just can't ever see my wishes come true.

I've known this for a long time-about a year and a half. It's been at the back of my mind, but recently it's surfaced again and is even stronger than ever. All I have to do is look at her nowadays and my heart starts racing. When she's close, my heart goes to near cardiac arrest. And I'm also pretty sure whenever she smiles my heart skips several beats. Last time I counted, it was about 3 beats. God, if I don't confess soon I'm pretty sure my death is inevitable.

It's just...it's hard. I don't know what to say or when to say it. I don't know if she'll reject me, or welcome me with open arms. I'm so scared that things will go wrong, yet know that I have to confess some time. If I don't...I'll spend the rest of my life thinking "What if...?" I don't want to do that, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I've never been so close to someone before. I don't want to ruin it and have to go back to the way I was.

So...I guess I have to say it. Not soon - tonight.

Okay. I have to do this. Can't choke, can't choke...

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

3rd Person POV

Navi looked over out to the gorgeous ocean. It shimmered in the moonlight. The moon was nearing the centre of the sky-nearly midnight. She didn't seem to sleep nowadays until about 2 am, maybe 3. She found she was needing less and less sleep. Navi had no idea why this was happening, but she knew Magax didn't need to sleep.

Are his powers rubbing off on me? Or is something on my mind that I just don't know?

She couldn't be sure which. Sighing, she sat at the base of a beautiful oak tree. Leaves and petal blossoms drifted downwards onto her shoulder length hair. Shutting her eyes, she let the wonderful environment soak into her. That was, until she heard a certian voice.

"Navi?"

Opening one eye, she smiled. Magax was standing nearby. His navy fur flopped in front of his ruby-red eyes, giving a scruffy but adorable effect.

"Hey," she said, a small smile on her face. She didn't know it, but Magax's heart was speeding up in his chest at that very moment.

"Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

As he sat down, a cloud covered the moon, obscuring the light. Only a small glow came from behind the cloud. It only very lightly illuminated both of their faces.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Magax's POV

I can't do this.

I don't deserve her. She's beautiful like the stars, she deserves far better! What chance do I have anyway? I was stupid thinking I could do this! I just CANNOT do this! I feel like kicking myself. Mentally I'm slapping myself.

I'm lucky that it's really dark right now...otherwise she'd see me going as red as fire.

I'm looking over at her, and once again I am astonished by how perfect she is. Her shoulder length pink fur flops slightly over her eyes and curls on her shoulders. Her silver eyes remind me of diamonds - so shiny and gorgeous. The smile on her face is sending me into a heart attack.

I then think about myself. Dark fur, stupid red eyes and not exactly the best persona. She'd be better off without me, I know it.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

3rd Person POV

"Nav?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a question," Magax said, leaning back onto the trunk of the tree.

"Well, what is it?" Navi asked, turning towards him.

"If you were to leave...what would you do with your life?"

Navi was a little stunned at this for a few seconds, but soon shook it off. She thought about it long and hard. And all the time, the moon remained behind the cloud. She felt thoughts shoot through her mind, searching frantically for an answer. At last she found the correct one.

"I don't know what I'd do. With my parents gone, there's barely a life for me out there. I don't know...maybe I'd find a place to live, get a job, settle down and have a family...I'm 19, it's time I started thinking about what I want to do with my life. I want to live it to the full, as from my parent's deaths, I've learnt that life is short, and you have to make the most of it. I don't know wether to choose a life of adventure and danger or a normal life. I don't feel like I'd fit into a normal life as well as I fit into life here."

The depth of Navi's answer was enough to quieten Magax for a short while. He slowly comprehended her words. Then, maybe a minute or so later, something she'd said hit him.

"Settle down...have a family..."

This struck him like a hammerblow. No way was she going to accept him now. No way whatsoever. He couldn't provide the security and the life that Navi would want. He couldn't provide any or both of them. He had to accept it.

"So...what kind of guy do you think you'd settle down with?"

Navi turned to him, her eyes flashing with mock anger.

"What's with all these questions about my private life, hmm?"

Magax flushed an even deeper shade of red.

"N-nothing, I-I-I was just curious-"

Navi giggled, then said, "I don't know. Like, hey, I barely know what I'm going to do. I think I'll know when I've found the perfect guy."

"And when will that be?"

"Hey, I said I didn't know, didn't I?" Navi grinned, punching Magax playfully on the shoulder.

"This shoulder takes so much abuse from you!"

They both laughed happily. It was one of those moments when you feel as if everything in the world is slotting into place and there's nothing but happiness. Nothing but happiness.

What a perfect moment...

This reminded Magax of a song he'd heard once...

I know that I'm not always great

But I know when the time is right

To make my move, to make you smile

And only then is my life worthwhile

Magax's eyes had locked with Navi. Her diamante eyes were so beautiful...

But I don't know what to say

You're still my beautiful sunray

No matter what they think

We alone share a deep link

His eyes were only half open...he was getting taken by the moment...

Don't let my image get in your way

Just tell me what I need to say

Hold me close to your heart

And we will take it from the start

A small smile crept onto his lips...his breath was deep and happy...

I'm still carried away by my passion

But why must my love be given in rations

Love can create something beautiful

I know the feelings sensual

Navi was huggled to his chest, sighing happily. Magax blushed, but smiled all the more...

Why don't I just tell you my feelings

Maybe they will send your mind reeling

Or maybe you'll kiss me and say

"Everything's alright now, everything's okay..."

He put one hand around her waist, then rested his head on her shoulders...

Because I'm getting carried away

I just want you to say

How much you love and how much you care

I can see your soul through your diamond stare

His face was maybe only a inch away from Navi's...

Because there's some words I need to spill

But it's not like the blood from a fresh kill

These are pure words, bold and to stay

Just believe me when I say...

"I love you."

He cradled her head in his hands, kissing her with such a passion that it made his head near explode...

I love you with all my heart and soul

Anyone who can't see that is a fool

You're the one who keeps me going day and night

Don't tell me this is wrong, it feels so right

He drew away slowly, a small smile on his face, Navi was smiling too, a blush on her cheeks.

"How much?" she asked cheekily.

"As much as the stars shine at night."

Kissing her again, his heart sped up, smiling gently.

I love you as much as the stars shine at night

I love you more than the beckoning light

I love the way you love me too

I know I didn't say it too soon

I love you more than the stars shine at night

You are my love, my only leading light.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

THE END

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