Chapter 0 - Could be considered an intro.

51 THINGS THAT SASUKE WOULD MOST LIKELY DO:

1. “Break up” with Kabuto (to pursue “other interests” *wink wink*)
2. Give up pole dancing and become his own pimp.
3. Say to Orochimaru, “Hey, hey, you know what ‘Oro’ sounds like?!”
4. Attach a pinecone to a vibrator and present it to Sakura, declaring, “There! Now you have no reason to leave the house!!”
5. (The pinecone was used.)
6. Dress up as the Emo Bunny and give out eggs containing coupons for free Trojan condoms. *tee hee…*
7. Sing ‘Hey, Mr. Wonderful’ outside Naruto’s window in the dead of night.
8. Whenever there’s an awkward silence, scream, “GAY BABY!!!!”
9. Go Christmas shopping in July.
10. Sign himself up for free samples at Playtex.com.
11. Take over somebody else’s series. T_T
12. Ask Kakashi about masturbation.
13. Request that Naruto be his CPR partner.
14. Justify all of his actions by crying, “The voices told me to!!”
15. Buy a cape. A BLUE cape.
16. Swish his cape.
17. A lot.
18. Blog on Facebook.
19. Go insane and parade around Starbucks as a wet nurse named Juanita.
20. Say, “Pick flowers, not fights.”
21. Thirty minutes after uttering that sentence, spit gum at Itachi’s head.
22. Publicly demand that Naruto “lie with him tonight”.
23. Receive love letters from both Orochimaru and Kabuto.
24. Respond to the letters using the words “S&M”, “rape”, “loving fans”, and “peak”.
25. Purchase porn Comcast On Demand.
26. Attempt to grope Naruto when he THINKS nobody’s watching.
27. Streak his hair pink and blue.
28. Be affected by the full moon.
29. Have the male equivalent of PMS every Tuesday.
30. Murder Hinata and do the Electric Slide on her grave.
31. Beg Ino for permission to brush her hair.
32. Cry after seeing The Notebook.
33. Paint a nude self-portrait.
34. Smack and/or Slap Naruto’s @$$ and ask for fries with that shake!
35. Scream when he sees an insect, rodent, or clump of lint.
36. Mix up salt and sugar when baking cookies.
37. Wear a paper bag. A RATTY paper bag.
38. Get pregnant – knocked up by a sheep.
39. Fall madly, passionately and irrevocably in love… with a piece of string.
40. Name his katana Charlie.
41. Declare his undying love for Naruto on top of a casino table in Vegas. Holding Charlie.
42. Believe in the Tooth Fairy but not in Santa Claus, claiming that Santa Claus molested him [Sasuke] when he was five after he told him that he was such a… BEAUTIFUL little boy…
43. Abduct Naruto, strip him naked and duct-tape him to a chair in his closet.
44. Patent his own brand of fruit-flavored condoms.
45. Frame his stalker photos of Naruto and sell them for 50 cents a baker’s dozen.
46. When Naruto gets in the tub, bob to the surface and say, “Your bath’s ready, dear. Scrub your back?”
47. Scream that the law is sexist when the deputy drags him downtown for questioning after Naruto calls the cops.
48. Wear eyeliner. And a dress.
49. Show up to prom wearing eyeliner and a dress.
50. Exclaim, “You gotta Believe!! Chka-chka-chk!” and do a little cha-cha hip action, if ya know what I mean.

And the 51st thing that Sasuke would MOST LIKELY do IS…

51. Forcibly drag Naruto to France just for the nude beaches. When Naruto absolutely REFUSES to go out in public indecent, drug him and lug his unconscious body downtown to a nice, quiet dark alleyway. Once there, rape him and leave him there exposed for all of Paris to see.


This was, by the by, totally random compared to the rest of this so-called "story". T_T

STAY TUNED!!! XDD

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